ho gumaaN uss par!!

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

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naheedv
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ho gumaaN uss par!!

Post by naheedv »

aadaab,
aik ghazal ke chaNd asha'ar!!
umeed hai apnee raaye se navaazeN ge.
shukriya!

---------------------------------------------------------
1.
ho gumaaN uss par kisee jh`ankaar kaa
dh`eemaa dheemaa lehjah voh guftaar kaa
2.
ik ajab haNgaam barpaa rehtaa hai
koocha.e.jaaN meN tiree mehkaar kaa
3.
too rag.o.pai meN utar kar daikh le
raNg kaisaa hai tire iqraar kaa
4.
dard bhee uss ke saNbhaale baiThaa hai
Haal tau daikho dil.e.laachaar kaa
5.
ik taraf tanhaaiyoN kaa shor hai
ik taraf chehrah shab.e.bedaar kaa
6.
chaNd aaNsoo aaNkh kee dehleez par
aik saayah zabt kee deewaar kaa
7.
khavaahishoN kaa raNg neelaa ho chukaa
zakhm ab bhee hai haraa inkaar kaa
8.
aaj bhee dil meN kaheeN aabaad hai
pyaar voh :Naheed: pehlee baar kaa

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Mahtab Qadr
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Post by Mahtab Qadr »

Nahid sahiba adaab
aapki ghazal naye andaaz ki naye lab o lahje ki akkasi karrahi hai jo bahut khushaaindh hai. har sher acha laga aur batoore khas ye teen sher besakhta daad ke mustahiq lagay shukria

chaNd aaNsoo aaNkh kee dehleez par
aik saayah zabt kee deewaar kaa

khavaahishoN kaa raNg neelaa ho chukaa
zakhm ab bhee hai haraa inkaar kaa

aaj bhee dil meN kaheeN aabaad hai
pyaar voh :Naheed: pehlee baar kaa

Mahtab Qadr
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Post by naheedv »

Mahtab Qadr wrote:Nahid sahiba adaab
aapki ghazal naye andaaz ki naye lab o lahje ki akkasi karrahi hai jo bahut khushaaindh hai. har sher acha laga aur batoore khas ye teen sher besakhta daad ke mustahiq lagay shukria

chaNd aaNsoo aaNkh kee dehleez par
aik saayah zabt kee deewaar kaa

khavaahishoN kaa raNg neelaa ho chukaa
zakhm ab bhee hai haraa inkaar kaa

aaj bhee dil meN kaheeN aabaad hai
pyaar voh :Naheed: pehlee baar kaa

Mahtab Qadr

janaab Mahtab saahab,
aadaab,

aap ne itne khubsoorat aNdaz meN tarif/hosla afzaayee kee hai ke mujhey apnee ghazal dobaarah paRhnaa paRee ye deikhne ke liye ke aayaa ye iss kee ehl bhee hai yaa naheeN :grin:

aap kee daadotehsene ke liye meraa dili shukriya qubool kijiye!

mukhlis
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Re: ho gumaaN uss par!!

Post by naheedv »

sara_j wrote: naheed ji,

salaam.

waah! bohat hi khoob ghazal kahi aapne

ho gumaaN uss par kisee jh`ankaar kaa
dh`eemaa dheemaa lehjah voh guftaar kaa

waah! kitna zabardast comparison, i could feel the jhankaar
and the dheemaa lehjah guftaar ka....... bohat hi khoobsurat!

I get lost while reading your ghazals these days :grin: mujhe yaqeen hai aisa hi kuch sab hi mehsoos kar rahe hounge.


doosra shair bhi lajawaab hai, daad qubool keejiye.

aaj bhee dil meN kaheeN aabaad hai
pyaar voh :Naheed: pehlee baar kaa

wah waah! kya kehne saahib, ghazal aur bhi haseen hogayi aapke maqte se!

bohat saari daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.
Dear Sara jee,
salaam :-)

uff aap ne tau itnee ta'reef kar dee hai ke meraa daaman hi choTaa paR rahaa hai, maiN kahaaN iss ke qaabil hooN :oops:
I get lost while reading your ghazals these days :grin: mujhe yaqeen hai aisa hi kuch sab hi mehsoos kar rahe hounge.
aap ke "lost" hone kee 2 vajoohaat ho sakti haiN,
1. ke maiN apnaa mafhoom sahi tarah se deliever na kar paayee hooN aur aap soch rahi hoN ke "aakhir shaaira saahiba farmaa kyaa rahi haiN" :oops: :roll:
2. dusree vajah ye ho sakti hai ke qaaree(paRhne waalaa) likhaaree(likhne waalaa) kee soch par hee ash ash kar uThtaa hai.
jo ke mere case meN mumkin naheeN hai lehaza maiN apne aap ko pehlee reason kee category meN laate huve ye kehti hooN ke aap kaa "lost" ho jaanaa bantaa hai :grin:

khair, ab chalte chalte ghazal pasaNd karne kaa shukriya bhee qubool kar lijiye!

mukhlis
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Post by Ibn-e-siddique »

Naheed saHiba:

salaam arz hai

aap ki ye ghazal bhi aap ki deegar ghazloN ki taraH pasand aayee, jaisa ke maiN hamesha kehta hooN, aaj phir kehne dijiye :) ke aap ka apna aik makhsoos andaaz hai, jo hameN bahot pasand hai

is ghazal meiN jo ash'aar mujhe zyaada pasand aaye, voh ye haiN :
ik ajab haNgaam barpaa rehtaa hai
koocha.e.jaaN meN tiree mehkaar kaa
3.
too rag.o.pai meN utar kar daikh le
raNg kaisaa hai tire iqraar kaa
4.
dard bhee uss ke saNbhaale baiThaa hai
Haal tau daikho dil.e.laachaar kaa
5.
ik taraf tanhaaiyoN kaa shor hai
ik taraf chehrah shab.e.bedaar kaa
6.
chaNd aaNsoo aaNkh kee dehleez par
aik saayah zabt kee deewaar kaa

aaj bhee dil meN kaheeN aabaad hai
pyaar voh :Naheed: pehlee baar kaa
in tamaam ash'aar per meri jaanib se daad Haazir hai, qubool farmaaiN :)

amjad
Mire ash'aar ae Iqbal kyuN pyaare na hoN mujhko
mire TooTe hue dil ke ye dard.angez naale haiN
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Abdullah Nazir
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Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramah
Naheed SaaHibah,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki yeh ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri daad aur mubaarakbaad Haazir hei.

Apna tabsirah pesh karte houe yeh vaazeh kardenaa chaahtaa hooN ke meri aaraa se aapkaa muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN hei.
ho gumaaN uss par kisee jh`ankaar kaa
dh`eemaa dheemaa lehjah voh guftaar kaa

Is maTleA meiN ibaarat ke lihaaz se pahle misreA meiN lafz "uss" kii jagah "jis" behtar hei.
.
ik ajab haNgaam barpaa rehtaa hai
koocha.e.jaaN meN tiree mehkaar kaa

Is sheAr meiN lafz "hangaam" kii jagah "hangamah" hounaa chaahiye. FeAl "rehtaa" ke Harf "alif" ko giraane ke taAalluq se neeche dii houi Note dekhiye.
too rag.o.pai meN utar kar daikh le
raNg kaisaa hai tire iqraar kaa

Bahut khoob, waah waah

dard bhee uss ke saNbhaale baiThaa hai
Haal tau daikho dil.e.laachaar kaa

MaAnavi lihaaz se bahut achcha sheAr hei. Lafz "baithaa" ke baare meiN Shamsurrahmaan Farouqi kii neeche dii houi note per ghaur keejiye.

ik taraf tanhaaiyoN kaa shor hai
ik taraf chehrah shab.e.bedaar kaa

Achcha sheAr hei. "shab-e-bedaar" kii tarkeeb ko nibhaakar aap ne kamaal kardiyaa hei.
chaNd aaNsoo aaNkh kee dehleez par
aik saayah zabt kee deewaar kaa

Waah waah, bahut hii kaamyaab istiAare isteAmaal kiye heiN aap ne. Mafhoom bhii nihaayat pur acar hei.
.
khavaahishoN kaa raNg neelaa ho chukaa
zakhm ab bhee hai haraa inkaar kaa

Bahut khoob. Is sheAr meiN bhii aap ne istiAaraoN kaa isteAmaal bahut hii kaamyaabi ke saath kiyaa hei. KhwaahishaoN ke rang kaa neela houna aur inkaar ke zakhm kaa haraa rehnaa.
.
aaj bhee dil meN kaheeN aabaad hai
pyaar voh :Naheed: pehlee baar kaa

MaqTaA bhii bahut achcha hei.

N O T E.

ShamsurrahmaN Farouqi apni kitaab "Arooz Aahung aur Bayaan" ke safHe No.62 per kehte heiN:
1) Aise alfaaz jou 2 yaa do se ziyaadah sabab-e-khafeef per mushtamil houN, "alif" kii takhfeef bilkul qubool nahiN karte, micaal ke Taur per (abba, ammaaN, kaalaa, dekhaa, juutaa, bantaa, churchaa, paidaa, tanhaa, mustacnaa waghairah ko pesh kiyaa jaasktaa hei. Lekin 2 se ziyaah sabab-e-khafeef waale alfaaz agar Haalat-e-feAliyah meiN houN tou takhfeef gawaaraa karlete heiN macalan (farmaayaa, bhaRkaayaa, dikhlaayaa, waghairah. (Note: ziyaadah tafseel kii yahaaN zaroorat nahiN lekin kitaab meiN pooraa baab hii bahut maAloomaati hei.



Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
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Re: Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi

Post by naheedv »

WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtaramah
Naheed SaaHibah,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki yeh ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri daad aur mubaarakbaad Haazir hei.

Apna tabsirah pesh karte houe yeh vaazeh kardenaa chaahtaa hooN ke meri aaraa se aapkaa muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN hei.
ho gumaaN uss par kisee jh`ankaar kaa
dh`eemaa dheemaa lehjah voh guftaar kaa

Is maTleA meiN ibaarat ke lihaaz se pahle misreA meiN lafz "uss" kii jagah "jis" behtar hei.
.
ik ajab haNgaam barpaa rehtaa hai
koocha.e.jaaN meN tiree mehkaar kaa

Is sheAr meiN lafz "hangaam" kii jagah "hangamah" hounaa chaahiye. FeAl "rehtaa" ke Harf "alif" ko giraane ke taAalluq se neeche dii houi Note dekhiye.
too rag.o.pai meN utar kar daikh le
raNg kaisaa hai tire iqraar kaa

Bahut khoob, waah waah

dard bhee uss ke saNbhaale baiThaa hai
Haal tau daikho dil.e.laachaar kaa

MaAnavi lihaaz se bahut achcha sheAr hei. Lafz "baithaa" ke baare meiN Shamsurrahmaan Farouqi kii neeche dii houi note per ghaur keejiye.

ik taraf tanhaaiyoN kaa shor hai
ik taraf chehrah shab.e.bedaar kaa

Achcha sheAr hei. "shab-e-bedaar" kii tarkeeb ko nibhaakar aap ne kamaal kardiyaa hei.
chaNd aaNsoo aaNkh kee dehleez par
aik saayah zabt kee deewaar kaa

Waah waah, bahut hii kaamyaab istiAare isteAmaal kiye heiN aap ne. Mafhoom bhii nihaayat pur acar hei.
.
khavaahishoN kaa raNg neelaa ho chukaa
zakhm ab bhee hai haraa inkaar kaa

Bahut khoob. Is sheAr meiN bhii aap ne istiAaraoN kaa isteAmaal bahut hii kaamyaabi ke saath kiyaa hei. KhwaahishaoN ke rang kaa neela houna aur inkaar ke zakhm kaa haraa rehnaa.
.
aaj bhee dil meN kaheeN aabaad hai
pyaar voh :Naheed: pehlee baar kaa

MaqTaA bhii bahut achcha hei.

N O T E.

ShamsurrahmaN Farouqi apni kitaab "Arooz Aahung aur Bayaan" ke safHe No.62 per kehte heiN:
1) Aise alfaaz jou 2 yaa do se ziyaadah sabab-e-khafeef per mushtamil houN, "alif" kii takhfeef bilkul qubool nahiN karte, micaal ke Taur per (abba, ammaaN, kaalaa, dekhaa, juutaa, bantaa, churchaa, paidaa, tanhaa, mustacnaa waghairah ko pesh kiyaa jaasktaa hei. Lekin 2 se ziyaah sabab-e-khafeef waale alfaaz agar Haalat-e-feAliyah meiN houN tou takhfeef gawaaraa karlete heiN macalan (farmaayaa, bhaRkaayaa, dikhlaayaa, waghairah. (Note: ziyaadah tafseel kii yahaaN zaroorat nahiN lekin kitaab meiN pooraa baab hii bahut maAloomaati hei.



Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Mohtaram Nazir saahab,

ummeed hai aap khairiyat se hoN ge.

aap kee tabsare se buhat khushee huyee aur maiN ne aap kee baatoN aur "note" ko ba.ghaur paRhaa hai aur inheN inshaa'Allah samajhne kee pooree koshish bhee kar rahi hooN.

aap ne jin maqaamaat par apnee raaye kaa izhaar kiyaa hai maiN un par mazeed ghaur kartee hooN.
aap kaa aur janaab Sarwar saahab kaa ilm buhat wasee'a hai aur maiN koshish kartee hooN ke hamesha hii aap ke tabsaroN see seekhooN. ba'z auqaat ikhtelaaf raaye kee soorat bhee nikal aatee aati hai magar iss kaa matlab har giz ye naheeN hotaa hai ke maiN aap ke tabsaroN ko ghatal girdaan rahi hooN. :oops:

iss mufeed tabsare ke liye meraa dili shukriya qubool kijiye! :grin:

mukhliS
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Aapko bilkul Haq hei

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramah
Naheed Saahibah

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat, :-)

Aapka javaab mujhe beHad pasand aayaa.

Aap ne yeh bhii likhkhaa hei:
(((ba'z auqaat ikhtelaaf raaye kee soorat bhee nikal aatee aati hai magar iss kaa matlab har giz ye naheeN hotaa hai ke maiN aap ke tabsaroN ko ghatal girdaan rahi hooN. )))

Is meiN koii shak nahiN ke ikhtilaaf-e-raaye kii soorat meiN aapko hii nahiN balkeh her Shayer / Shayera ko Haq hei ke doosraoN ke nuqta-e-nazar ko nazar andaz karde. Yaa mazeed ifhaam o tafheem ke liye apni Taraf se kuch Havaale de. Is soorat meiN maAloomaat meiN hamaari maAloomaat meiN izaafah houtaa hei.

Bahut bahut shukriyah.


Aapka Mukhlis,

Nazir.
Last edited by Abdullah Nazir on Tue Jul 05, 2005 3:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by naheedv »

Ibn-e-siddique wrote:Naheed saHiba:

salaam arz hai

aap ki ye ghazal bhi aap ki deegar ghazloN ki taraH pasand aayee, jaisa ke maiN hamesha kehta hooN, aaj phir kehne dijiye :) ke aap ka apna aik makhsoos andaaz hai, jo hameN bahot pasand hai

is ghazal meiN jo ash'aar mujhe zyaada pasand aaye, voh ye haiN :
ik ajab haNgaam barpaa rehtaa hai
koocha.e.jaaN meN tiree mehkaar kaa
3.
too rag.o.pai meN utar kar daikh le
raNg kaisaa hai tire iqraar kaa
4.
dard bhee uss ke saNbhaale baiThaa hai
Haal tau daikho dil.e.laachaar kaa
5.
ik taraf tanhaaiyoN kaa shor hai
ik taraf chehrah shab.e.bedaar kaa
6.
chaNd aaNsoo aaNkh kee dehleez par
aik saayah zabt kee deewaar kaa

aaj bhee dil meN kaheeN aabaad hai
pyaar voh :Naheed: pehlee baar kaa
in tamaam ash'aar per meri jaanib se daad Haazir hai, qubool farmaaiN :)

amjad
Amjad jee,

jaane maiN ye kiyoN samajh rahee thee ke maiN aap kee post kaa jawaab de chukee hooN magar jab abhee check kiyaa tau ma'loom huvaa ke maiN ghalat soch rahi thee :oops:

aap ko mere "apne makhsoos" aNdaaz kee ye ghazal pasaNd aayee hai tau ye jaan kar be.had khushee huyee.
dar.asl maiN koshish kartee hooN ke maiN "apne makhsoos" andaaz se zaraa "haT" kar likhooN magar saahab jo "Thaap" lag chukee hai voh miTtee hee naheeN :wink:

ghazal pasaNd karne kaa buhat buaht shukriya!

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aoa

Post by poet »

naheed sahiba adab
mayra yaqeenan aap say taruf nahi hay aur aap yaqeenan mujay janti bahi nahi hoon gi ka main nay kabhi kis forum par apni shirka ka kabhi izhar hi nahi kia. taham aap ki ya ghazal paRhi too baysakhta dad daynay koo g chaha. main nay aap ki shairi mukhtalif forums aur kuch parchoon main paRhi hay. aap ki shairi main aik dhima dhima sulgaoo hoota hay jo mujay buhat acha lagta hay. albatta aap baz uqat kuch doosida say alfaz puranay manoon main hi istamal karti hain too woo kuch acha nahi lagta . amoomi toor par aap ki ghazloon main lafzi aur manvi toor par aik tazgi hooti hay. aap ki is maujooda ghazal main bhi dil a lachar jasi taraqeeb aik doo traqeen aaee hain joo khaTakti hain. baqi ashar buhat khoob soorat hain . khas toor par teesay aur panchwain sher main too aap nay kamal kar dia hay aur satwan ........... dil nikal laynay wala sher hay.
buhat mubarik hoo
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Re: ho gumaaN uss par!!

Post by Hashmat Usmani »

salaam Naaheed,

aapkii Ghazal nazar guzaar huii aur yaqeen jaaniiye mujhe bahopt bhaaii. mujhe yaqeen hai ki jab aapne apnii yeh Gahzal "ba_yaad-e-Ghaalib" ke silsile se Toronto ke mushaa'ire meN to saame'yiin ne ash ash kiyaa hogaa aur 'mukarrar irshaad" ka na'ra buland huaa hogaa...agar ho sake to aap us mushaa'ire kii roodaad ham tak pahoNchaaiye plz. ham bhii maHzooz honaa chaaheNge. shukria.

aapkii Ghazal kaa har ek she'r apne mazaameen aur Khayaal ke aitebaar se bahot umda o aalaa haiN. aapke munfarid andaaz e bayaan ne chaar chaand lagaa diye haiN. Allah kare zor e qalam aur bhii ziyaada. Keep up the great work Naaheed.

yeh ash'aar mujhe sab se ziyaada pasdand aaye:

ho gumaaN uss par kisee jh`ankaar kaa
dh`eemaa dheemaa lehjah voh guftaar kaa

ik ajab haNgaam barpaa rehtaa hai
koocha.e.jaaN meN tiree mehkaar kaa

dard bhee uss ke saNbhaale baiThaa hai
Haal tau daikho dil.e.laachaar kaa

ik taraf tanhaaiyoN kaa shor hai
ik taraf chehrah shab.e.bedaar kaa

aaj bhee dil meN kaheeN aabaad hai
pyaar voh :Naheed: pehlee baar kaa

matl'a aur maqt'a ka to jawaab hii naheeN ... bahot Khoob ... thank yopu for sharing ur beautiful Ghazal with us.
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Re: Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi

Post by naheedv »

WEBMASTER wrote:
N O T E.

ShamsurrahmaN Farouqi apni kitaab "Arooz Aahung aur Bayaan" ke safHe No.62 per kehte heiN:
1) Aise alfaaz jou 2 yaa do se ziyaadah sabab-e-khafeef per mushtamil houN, "alif" kii takhfeef bilkul qubool nahiN karte, micaal ke Taur per (abba, ammaaN, kaalaa, dekhaa, juutaa, bantaa, churchaa, paidaa, tanhaa, mustacnaa waghairah ko pesh kiyaa jaasktaa hei. Lekin 2 se ziyaah sabab-e-khafeef waale alfaaz agar Haalat-e-feAliyah meiN houN tou takhfeef gawaaraa karlete heiN macalan (farmaayaa, bhaRkaayaa, dikhlaayaa, waghairah. (Note: ziyaadah tafseel kii yahaaN zaroorat nahiN lekin kitaab meiN pooraa baab hii bahut maAloomaati hei.
Mohtaram Nazir saahaab,
aadaab,

kal hee Bashir Badar kee aik ghazal sunne kaa itefaaq huvaa jis ke aik she'r kaa pehlaa misra' ye hai:
"tujhe aitebaar.o.yaqeeN naheeN, naheeN DUNYAA itnee buree naheeN"

tau maiN soch meN paR gayee ke yahaaN Shaair saahab ne lafz.e.DUNYAA ko 21 ke vazn par baaNdhaa hai.
agar maiN ShamsurrahmaN Farouqi saahab kee kitaab kee roshani meN aap ke diye gaye noTe ko saheeN samajhee hooN tau phir dunyaa ko 22 ke vazn par honaa chaahiye yaa 21 par bhee ye ho saktaa hai?

ye sawaal karne kaa maqsad sirf mujhey apnee uljhan door karnaa matloob hai. umeed kartee hooN ke jawaab de kar shukriya kaa moqa deN ge.

buhat shukriya
mukhliS
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Re: Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi

Post by naheedv »

WEBMASTER wrote:
N O T E.

ShamsurrahmaN Farouqi apni kitaab "Arooz Aahung aur Bayaan" ke safHe No.62 per kehte heiN:
1) Aise alfaaz jou 2 yaa do se ziyaadah sabab-e-khafeef per mushtamil houN, "alif" kii takhfeef bilkul qubool nahiN karte, micaal ke Taur per (abba, ammaaN, kaalaa, dekhaa, juutaa, bantaa, churchaa, paidaa, tanhaa, mustacnaa waghairah ko pesh kiyaa jaasktaa hei. Lekin 2 se ziyaah sabab-e-khafeef waale alfaaz agar Haalat-e-feAliyah meiN houN tou takhfeef gawaaraa karlete heiN macalan (farmaayaa, bhaRkaayaa, dikhlaayaa, waghairah. (Note: ziyaadah tafseel kii yahaaN zaroorat nahiN lekin kitaab meiN pooraa baab hii bahut maAloomaati hei.
Mohtaram Nazir saahaab,
aadaab,

kal hee Bashir Badar kee aik ghazal sunne kaa itefaaq huvaa jis ke aik she'r kaa pehlaa misra' ye hai:
"tujhe aitebaar.o.yaqeeN naheeN, naheeN DUNYAA itnee buree naheeN"

tau maiN soch meN paR gayee ke yahaaN Shaair saahab ne lafz.e.DUNYAA ko 21 ke vazn par baaNdhaa hai.
agar maiN ShamsurrahmaN Farouqi saahab kee kitaab kee roshani meN aap ke diye gaye noTe ko saheeN samajhee hooN tau phir dunyaa ko 22 ke vazn par honaa chaahiye yaa 21 par bhee ye ho saktaa hai.

ye sawaal karne kaa maqsad sirf mujhey apnee uljhan door karnaa matloob hai. umeed kartee hooN ke jawaab de kar shukriya kaa moqa deN ge.

buhat shukriya
mukhliS
Naheed
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Abdullah Nazir
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Aapkaa istidlaah maAqool hei

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramah
NaHeed V. Saahibah,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat, :lol:

Janab Bashir Badr ke miSreA se aapkaa istidlaal bilkul bajaa hei jis meiN lafz "dunya" jo 2 sabab-e-khafeef per mustamil hei, ke Harf "alif" ko giraayaa gayaa hei yani 21 ke vazn per isteAmaal kiyaa gayaa hei.

Is se pahle maiN ne MushaaAire kii forum meiN janab Jawaid Badayauni kii TaraHi ghazal per tabSirah karte houe likhkha hei:

(((
Woh yahaN aaye nah aaye gham nahiN
Ghair ke ghar aana jaana choRde
Waah waah, kyaa kehne. Seedah saadha sheAr bahut hii achche andaaz meiN pesh kiyaa hei aap ne
Lafz "aanaa" ke Harf "alif" ko giraane ke baare meiN Shamsurrahmaan Farooqi kehte heiN ke jaayiz nahiN. Is ke baavjood asaatizah ke kalaam meiN alif kaa girnaa paayaa gayaa hei jaisaa ke Zauq kii ghazal meiN:
"kartaa, beemaar-e-muhabbat ka maseeHaa jo ilaaj
itnaa diq houta ke jeenaa use mushkil houtaa"
"aata, kiyuM MiSr meiN kanAaN se nikal kar Yousuf
jazba-e-ishq-e-zulaikhaa jou nah kaamil houtaa" )))

Shamsurrahman Farouqi Ahd-e-jadeed ke Aroozi muHaqqiq aur naqqaad maane jaate heiN.

In dalaayil kii raushni meiN agar ham saari baataoN ko nazar andaaz karte houe agar sirf saaqiT shudah "alif" waale lafz kii Sauti ravaani dekheN tou hamaara zauq yeh kehtaa hei ke zaroor koii khalal hei.

Bashi Badr kaa misrA hei:
""tujhe aitebaar.o.yaqeeN naheeN, naheeN DUNYAA itnee buree naheeN"
Is misreA meiN ((dunyaa itni buree nahiN)) kii bajaaye yooN karke paRhiye:
((loag itne bure nahiN))
tou kyaa ravaani meiN kuch farq meHsoos hougaa yaa nahiN.

Waise hii Sheikh Ibrahim Zauq ke ashAar meiN bhii yeh khalal meHsoos houtaa hei.

Agar aapka zauq-e-saleem is qism ke suqooT ko gawaaraa kartaa hei tou aap asaatizah kii taqleed karsakti heiN.

Shaayeri ke ibtidaayi daur meiN mujh se mere doust ke waali Moizzuddin Multaani Saahib marhoom ne kahaa thaa: "Nazir Saahib aapka sheAr tou kuch yooN hei:
"dil jo har dam udaas rehtaa hei
Khuda jaane kis ke paas rehtaa hei"

Yani lafZ "khudaa" ka Harf "alif" buri TaraH saaqiT houraaa hei.

Meezaan-e-Adl aapke haathaoN meiN hei, kiyunkeh meraa kaam tou sirf itnaa hei ke aqvaal aur dalaayil ko samajhne aur samjhaane kii koushish karuN. Shukriyah.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Last edited by Abdullah Nazir on Wed Jul 06, 2005 4:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Aapkaa istidlaah maAqool hei

Post by naheedv »

WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtaramah
NaHeed V. Saahibah,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat, :lol:

Janab Bashir Badr ke miSreA se aapkaa istidlaal bilkul bajaa hei jis meiN lafz "dunya" jo 2 sabab-e-khafeef per mustamil hei, ke Harf "alif" ko giraayaa gayaa hei yani 21 ke vazn per isteAmaal kiyaa gayaa hei.

Is se pahle maiN ne MushaaAire kii forum meiN janab Jawaid Badayauni kii TaraHi ghazal per tabSirah karte houe likhkha hei:

(((
Woh yahaN aaye nah aaye gham nahiN
Ghair ke ghar aana jaana choRde
Waah waah, kyaa kehne. Seedah saadha sheAr bahut hii achche andaaz meiN pesh kiyaa hei aap ne
Lafz "aanaa" ke Harf "alif" ko giraane ke baare meiN Shamsurrahmaan Farooqi kehte heiN ke jaayiz nahiN. Is ke baavjood asaatizah ke kalaam meiN alif kaa girnaa paayaa gayaa hei jaisaa ke Zauq kii ghazal meiN:
"kartaa, beemaar-e-muhabbat ka maseeHaa jo ilaaj
itnaa diq houta ke jeenaa use mushkil houtaa"
"aata, kiyuM MiSr meiN kanAaN se nikal kar Yousuf
jazba-e-ishq-e-zulaikhaa jou nah kaamil houtaa" )))

Shamsurrahman Farouqi Ahd-e-jadeed ke Aroozi muHaqqiq aur naqqaad maane jaate heiN.

In dalaayil kii raushni meiN agar ham saari baataoN ko nazar andaaz karte houe agar sirf saaqiT shudah "alif" waale lafz kii Sauti ravaani dekheN tou hamaara zauq yeh kehtaa hei ke zaroor koii khalal hei.

Bashi Badr kaa misrA hei:
""tujhe aitebaar.o.yaqeeN naheeN, naheeN DUNYAA itnee buree naheeN"
Is misreA meiN ((dunyaa itni buree nahiN)) kii bajaaye yooN karke paRhiye:
((loag itne bure nahiN))
tou kyaa ravaani meiN kuch farq meHsoos hougaa yaa nahiN.

Waise hii Sheikh Ibrahim Zauq ke ashAar meiN bhii yeh khalal meHsoos houtaa hei.

Agar aapka zauq-e-saleem is qism ke suqooT ko gawaaraa kartaa hei tou aap asaatizah kii taqleed karsakti heiN.

Shaayeri ke ibtidaayi daur meiN mujh se mere doust ke waali Moizzuddin Multaani Saahib marhoom ne kahaa thaa: "Nazir Saahib aapka sheAr tou kuch yooN hei:
"dil jo har dam udaas rehtaa hei
Khuda jaane kis ke paas rehtaa hei"

Yani lafZ "khudaa" ka Harf "alif" buri TaraH saaqiT houraaa hei.

Meezaan-e-Adl aapke haathaoN meiN hei, kiyunkeh meraa kaam tou sirf itnaa hei ke aqvaal aur dalaayil ko samajhne aur samjhaane kii koushish karuN. Shukriyah.
[color\brown]

Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
[/color]
Mohtaram Nazir saahab,
aadaab,

aap ke tafseelee jawaab ke liye az.had mamnoon hooN.
maiN ne :Mushaira: meN bhee aap kaa tabsarah paRhaa thaa aur ab yahaaN bhee jo tafSeel aap ne beyaan kee hai, uss se buhat kuch seekhane ko milaa.

agar daikhaa jaaye tau agarche iss soorat men :alif: ko giraanaa jaa'iz naheeN samjhaa jaataa hai magar phir bhee shaa'ir ba.haalat.e.majboori aisaa kar hee lete haiN aur micaaleN aap ke saamne haiN.

bahar.kaif maiN mustaqbil meN ye khayaal rakhooN gee.

aap kee ma'loomaat kaa aik baar phir buhat buhat shukriya!!

mukhliS
Naheed
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