“laao koii jugnu koii tara koi suraj” ......................
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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“laao koii jugnu koii tara koi suraj” ......................
Dosto! Salaam qubool kijiye
Qatar men hone wale ek tarahee mushaireh ke liye behud dushwar zameen tajweez kee gayee hai, shayad woh shoAra ka imtehaan lena chaahte haiN. Iss mirAe tarah ki radeef hai "koii suraj" aur qafiya hai "tara". Jab mere ek karam farma ne yeh MisrA Qatar mujhe bheja aur Ghazal kahne ki iltemaas ki to laga shayad main ek she'r bhi na kah paaoonga, magar jab mood banaker baiTha to kuch TooTe phooTe sher ho he gaye, jo aapki Khidmat meN iss ummid se irsaal kar raha hooN keh aap meree himmat afzaaii farmayeNge.
Khairtalab,
Jawaid Badauni
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: Ghazal :
ZahnoN ke andheroN ko miTata koii suraj
Ab tak to nazar aaya nah aisa koii suraj
Purnoor hi rahta woh damak ooski nah miTtee
Ai kaash woh Khood ko nah samajhta koii suraj
Woh kuch to samajh leta keh hai qahr-e taphish kya
Dou gaam kabhie dhoop meN chaltaa koii suraj
Main sham.Ae mohabbat ke ujaale peh hooN nazaaN
Le aao muqabil kabhie apna koii suraj
Yeh raat hai ashkoN se nah ho payegee raushan
“laao koii jugnu koii tara koi suraj”
Maghrib ko bhi kah dete ujaale ka ghanee hum
Ik baar to MaGhrib se nikaltaa koii suraj
Gir gir ke andheroN meN saNbhalna hai tumheN Khood
“Jawaid” dikhayega nah rastah koii suraj
Last edited by jawaid badauni on Wed Jul 13, 2005 5:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Abdullah Nazir
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Waah waah bahut khoob
MuHtarami o Azeezi
Jawaid Badaayuni Saahib,
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,
Isqadar sanglaakh zameen meiN aapki kaamyaab ghazal paRhkar beHad lutf-andouz houne kaa mauqaA moyassar aayaa jiske liye meri dili mubaarakbaad aur daad Haazir hei.
SheAr No.3 kaa mafhoom kuch itnaa gehraa hei ke aek nazar dekhne se maiN us tak nahiN pahonch sakaa. Inshaallah, dobaarah iTme'nan se paRhoongaa. Is liye maiN ne aapki is ghazal kii copy apne paas meHfooz karli hei.
WaaqaAi yeh zameen bahut hii mushkil hei jis meiN sooraj kii radeef ko qaafiyaoN ke saath nibhaanaa aasaan nahiN.
Yeh aapkaa kamaal hei ke aap ne apni ghazal is mahaarat ke saath mukammal karli. Dobarah dili mubarakbad.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
- Mahtab Qadr
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Jawaid Badauni sahib
Tasleemat
aapki khoobsurat ghazal balke suraj naama nazarnawaz huva, bahut khoob aapne khoob nibhaya hai is achooti radeef ko. bahut mubarak janab.
ZahnoN ke andheroN ko miTata koii suraj
Ab tak to nazar aaya nah aisa koii suraj
wah wah
Purnoor hi rahta woh damak ooski nah miTtee
Ai kaash woh Khood ko nah samajhta koii suraj
bahut acha khyal haiWoh kuch to samajh leta keh hai qahr-e taphish kya
Dou gaam kabhie dhoop meN chaltaa koii suraj
kia baat kahi hai bahut khoob janab
Main sham.Ae mohabbat ke ujaale peh hooN nazaaN
Le aao muqabil kabhie apna koii suraj
khoob, acha challenge hai
Yeh raat hai ashkoN se nah ho payegee raushan
“laao koii jugnu koii tara koi suraj”
Girah khoob lagai hai
Maghrib ko bhi kah dete ujaale ka ghanee hum
Ek baar to MaGhrib se nikaltaa koii suraj
aap ki baat theek hai magar maghrib se suraj nikalna Qiyamat ke asaar balke youm e qiyamat ki nishaani nahi hai!
Gir gir ke andheroN meN saNbhalna hai tumheN Khood
“Jawaid” dikhayega nah rastah koii suraj
Bahut Umda maqta hai
shukria
Mahtab Qadr
Tasleemat
aapki khoobsurat ghazal balke suraj naama nazarnawaz huva, bahut khoob aapne khoob nibhaya hai is achooti radeef ko. bahut mubarak janab.
ZahnoN ke andheroN ko miTata koii suraj
Ab tak to nazar aaya nah aisa koii suraj
wah wah
Purnoor hi rahta woh damak ooski nah miTtee
Ai kaash woh Khood ko nah samajhta koii suraj
bahut acha khyal haiWoh kuch to samajh leta keh hai qahr-e taphish kya
Dou gaam kabhie dhoop meN chaltaa koii suraj
kia baat kahi hai bahut khoob janab
Main sham.Ae mohabbat ke ujaale peh hooN nazaaN
Le aao muqabil kabhie apna koii suraj
khoob, acha challenge hai
Yeh raat hai ashkoN se nah ho payegee raushan
“laao koii jugnu koii tara koi suraj”
Girah khoob lagai hai
Maghrib ko bhi kah dete ujaale ka ghanee hum
Ek baar to MaGhrib se nikaltaa koii suraj
aap ki baat theek hai magar maghrib se suraj nikalna Qiyamat ke asaar balke youm e qiyamat ki nishaani nahi hai!
Gir gir ke andheroN meN saNbhalna hai tumheN Khood
“Jawaid” dikhayega nah rastah koii suraj
Bahut Umda maqta hai
shukria
Mahtab Qadr
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Re: Waah waah bahut khoob
WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtarami o Azeezi
Jawaid Badaayuni Saahib,
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,
Isqadar sanglaakh zameen meiN aapki kaamyaab ghazal paRhkar beHad lutf-andouz houne kaa mauqaA moyassar aayaa jiske liye meri dili mubaarakbaad aur daad Haazir hei.
SheAr No.3 kaa mafhoom kuch itnaa gehraa hei ke aek nazar dekhne se maiN us tak nahiN pahonch sakaa. Inshaallah, dobaarah iTme'nan se paRhoongaa. Is liye maiN ne aapki is ghazal kii copy apne paas meHfooz karli hei.
WaaqaAi yeh zameen bahut hii mushkil hei jis meiN sooraj kii radeef ko qaafiyaoN ke saath nibhaanaa aasaan nahiN.
Yeh aapkaa kamaal hei ke aap ne apni ghazal is mahaarat ke saath mukammal karli. Dobarah dili mubarakbad.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Mohtarmee Abdullah Nazir Sahab,
Behud mamnoon.O.mashkoor hooN huzoor aapka. MaiN ne Haroon sahab se mAAzrat kar dee thee iss zameeN men ghazal nah ho sakegi magar phir jaisa keh aap jaante haiN shayar ko ek Challenge ho jata hai iss liye kuch kah hi dala. Ab aap ne sanad de dee to mujhe yaqeen ho gaya keh kuch nah kuch to ho hi gaya hai.
Teesre she'r meN, Suraj ke dhoop meN chalne se meri murad unn logoN se hai jo mahloN meN rahte haiN aur jhopRoN men rahne waloN ke dard se naa-ashna haiN. UnheN kya mAlum ghareeboN ko yeh dard unhee ka diya hoa hai. MaiN kahna yeh yeh chaahta hoon kaash yeh aish.o.aaraam wale bhi kuch din takleef meN guzareN to unheN andaza ho jayega keh museebat zada kis tarah jite hain. Ummid hai mera isharah wazeh ho gaya hai aur ab doosre ashAAr ki tarah aap iss sher ko bhi pasaNd farmayeNge.
Ek baar phir aap ka marhoon-e minnat hooN.
Naacheez,
Jawaid
Last edited by jawaid badauni on Wed Jul 13, 2005 5:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Mahtab Qadr SahabMahtab Qadr wrote:Jawaid Badauni sahib
Tasleemat
aapki khoobsurat ghazal balke suraj naama nazarnawaz huva, bahut khoob aapne khoob nibhaya hai is achooti radeef ko. bahut mubarak janab.
ZahnoN ke andheroN ko miTata koii suraj
Ab tak to nazar aaya nah aisa koii suraj
wah wah
Purnoor hi rahta woh damak ooski nah miTtee
Ai kaash woh Khood ko nah samajhta koii suraj
bahut acha khyal haiWoh kuch to samajh leta keh hai qahr-e taphish kya
Dou gaam kabhie dhoop meN chaltaa koii suraj
kia baat kahi hai bahut khoob janab
Main sham.Ae mohabbat ke ujaale peh hooN nazaaN
Le aao muqabil kabhie apna koii suraj
khoob, acha challenge hai
Yeh raat hai ashkoN se nah ho payegee raushan
“laao koii jugnu koii tara koi suraj”
Girah khoob lagai hai
Maghrib ko bhi kah dete ujaale ka ghanee hum
Ek baar to MaGhrib se nikaltaa koii suraj
aap ki baat theek hai magar maghrib se suraj nikalna Qiyamat ke asaar balke youm e qiyamat ki nishaani nahi hai!
Gir gir ke andheroN meN saNbhalna hai tumheN Khood
“Jawaid” dikhayega nah rastah koii suraj
Bahut Umda maqta hai
shukria
Mahtab Qadr
Aadaab
Ghazal ki pazeeraai aur tabsare ke liye behud mamnoon hooN. Iss baar aap ne takalluf se kaam liya kise choTee-baRee Khaamee ki nishandahii nahiN ki hai. Shayar khood apni kami tak nahiN pahoonch pata hai. Koii baat nahiN abhi aap ko ek reply aur bhi to dena hai meri ghazal ka "aligarians men'.
Ek baar phir shukriya qubool farmaiye.
Ahqar
Jawaid
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mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb:aadaab!
aap kee Ghazal naz^ar-nawaaz huyee. zameen yaqeena" saKht hai aur is Hawaale se aap kee koshish qaabil-e-daad hai. Irfan SaaHeb aur Nazir SaaHeb ke ba'd kehne ko ziyaadah kuch` naheeN reh gayaa hai. meree daad bh`ee in eHbaab kee daad meN milaa leejiYe!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
aap kee Ghazal naz^ar-nawaaz huyee. zameen yaqeena" saKht hai aur is Hawaale se aap kee koshish qaabil-e-daad hai. Irfan SaaHeb aur Nazir SaaHeb ke ba'd kehne ko ziyaadah kuch` naheeN reh gayaa hai. meree daad bh`ee in eHbaab kee daad meN milaa leejiYe!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Sarwar Raz wrote:mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb:aadaab!
aap kee Ghazal naz^ar-nawaaz huyee. zameen yaqeena" saKht hai aur is Hawaale se aap kee koshish qaabil-e-daad hai. Irfan SaaHeb aur Nazir SaaHeb ke ba'd kehne ko ziyaadah kuch` naheeN reh gayaa hai. meree daad bh`ee in eHbaab kee daad meN milaa leejiYe!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Mohtarmee Sarwar Raz Sahab, Tasleem
Gham-e dauraN ko gham-e janaN meN milane wali baat to sunee thee, aaj aap ki tajweez keh aap ki daad ko Abdullah Nazir Sahab aur Irfan Abid Sahab ki daad meN mila liya jaaye bahut pasaand aaii. Bahut bahut shukriya.
Jawaid
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Re: “laao koii jugnu koii tara koi suraj” ..................
Bahut bahut shukriya Sara Bahin. Ab to ghazal Khacee poorani ho gayee hai, ab iss per aap kyooN waqt zaya kartee haiN. Yeh Ghazal Qatar meN hone wale Mushaaireh ke liye kahi gayee thee. LogoN ka israr tha maiN phone per Ghazal paRh kar unke mushaaireh meN shamil ho jaaooN lekin mere inkaar ke bAAd baaniye Mushaairah ne khood meri ghazal ko wahaN paRh diya jise pasaNd kiya gaya.sara_j wrote:jawaid bhai tabiyet ki nasaazi ki wajah se bohat dair ki yehan aane mein muafi chahti hoon.jawaid badauni wrote:
Dosto! Salaam qubool kijiye
Qatar men hone wale ek tarahee mushaireh ke liye behud dushwar zameen tajweez kee gayee hai, shayad woh shoAra ka imtehaan lena chaahte haiN. Iss mirAe tarah ki radeef hai "koii suraj" aur qafiya hai "tara". Jab mere ek karam farma ne yeh MisrA Qatar mujhe bheja aur Ghazal kahne ki iltemaas ki to laga shayad main ek she'r bhi na kah paaoonga, magar jab mood banaker baiTha to kuch TooTe phooTe sher ho he gaye, jo aapki Khidmat meN iss ummid se irsaal kar raha hooN keh aap meree himmat afzaaii farmayeNge.
Khairtalab,
Jawaid Badauni
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: Ghazal :
ZahnoN ke andheroN ko miTata koii suraj
Ab tak to nazar aaya nah aisa koii suraj
Purnoor hi rahta woh damak ooski nah miTtee
Ai kaash woh Khood ko nah samajhta koii suraj
Woh kuch to samajh leta keh hai qahr-e taphish kya
Dou gaam kabhie dhoop meN chaltaa koii suraj
Main sham.Ae mohabbat ke ujaale peh hooN nazaaN
Le aao muqabil kabhie apna koii suraj
Yeh raat hai ashkoN se nah ho payegee raushan
“laao koii jugnu koii tara koi suraj”
Maghrib ko bhi kah dete ujaale ka ghanee hum
Ik baar to MaGhrib se nikaltaa koii suraj
Gir gir ke andheroN meN saNbhalna hai tumheN Khood
“Jawaid” dikhayega nah rastah koii suraj
aapki ye ghazal itni ziyada pasand ayi mujhe ke main ise apne makhsoos andaz se yaane ise image banaker yehan aane wali thi, lekin souchi ke pehle aapko daad dedoon aur phir fursat se is per kaam karun.
sabhi ashaar bohat dilkush hain aur bohat pasand aaye.
daad aur mubarakbad qubool keejiye.
sara
Mujhe iss baat ki bahut khooshee hai keh log mere nazuk isharoN ko baKhoobe samajh gaye. Ziyada tar ashAAr meN "suraj" se meri murad kuch aur thee aur mujhe Khooshee hai mere paighamat logoN tak pahoonch gaye.
Ghazal ki pazeeraai ke liye ek baar phir shukriya.
Jawaid