Aek Taazah Ghazal. Abdullah Nazir.

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar

Post Reply
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:

Aek Taazah Ghazal. Abdullah Nazir.

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramaat o MuHtarameen
Ahl-e-MeHfil aur Bazauq aHbab-e-sukhan,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,


Aapki khidmat meiN apni aek taazah ghazal pesh karrahaa hooN jis meiN bahut hii kam mushkil alfaaz shaamil hougaye heiN.

Ummeed ke aap apni giraaNqadr aaraa se navaazkar khaaksaar ko shukriyah adaa karne kaa mauqaA denge.

GHAZAL roman meiN

Qasam khaayi hei jab teri tou kiuN meri qasam TooTe
NahiN manzoor yaarub ghair kii chaukhaT pah dam TooTe

Khilounaa ban gaye ghairaoN ke haathouN meiN bajaa lekin
khiloune kii TaraH se aap TooTe heiN nah ham TooTe

Riyaazat aur kitaabat hii se meri nabZ chalti hei
vaheeN marjaaungaa maiN jis jagah meraa qalam TooTe

Bahe jaate heiN aansoo aur kabhi thamne nahiN paate
Nah tum aa'oo tou phir kaise qiTaar-e-chashm-e-nam TooTe

nah maani haar ham ne aur nah badlaa raastah apnaa
agarche Hausle raah-e-wafaa meiN her qadam TooTe

faqeer-e-zauq-e-sehbaay-e-aloohiyyat ko mat cheRo
agar aajaaye mere saamne tou jaam-e-jam TooTe

Chalo tum naaz se baaz aaoo aur maiN apni masti se
yehi behtar hei ulfat meiN keh qaaid-e-besh o kam TooTe

bharousaa jin pah thaa hamko vuhii bedaadgar nikle
tire dar per mire auhaam ke laakhouN sanam TooTe

kahaaN tak hou gawaara qaid-e-hastii tere Nazir ko
kabhi tou aiy khudaa zanjeer-e-paay-e-ahl-e-gham TooTe
======



Aapka Mukhl;is,
Nazir

Attachments
a_na_trial_two.JPG
a_na_trial_two.JPG (119.33 KiB) Viewed 238 times
Last edited by Abdullah Nazir on Sat Jul 23, 2005 1:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Image
Sarwar A. Raz
-
-
Posts: 518
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Contact:

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

mukarramee Nazir SaaHeb: aadaab!

aap kee Ghazal se mustafeed huwaa. lekin aap ne kam se kam Roman :version: meN to kayee nihaayat mushkil alfaaz^ likh`e haiN!

algaaz, yaarup, khoune, aujr, faqqer, yhi waGhairah!

mazaaq bar-t^araf! likh`ne ke ba'd naz^ar-e-caanee kar lene meN koyee harj naheeN hai. paRhne waaloN ko aasaanee ho jaatee hai.

doosree baat yeh keh :qit^aar-e-chashm-e-nam: tarkeeb bh`alee naheeN lagee. ph`ir is kaa :TooTnaa:?

aap kee Ghazal aap ke KhaaS raNg kee aa,eenahdaar hai. bohat pasand aayee. daad qubool keejiYe.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:

Bahut bahut shukriyah

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtarami o Azeezi
Sarwar A. Raz Sarwar Saahib

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,


Aapke giraaNqadr tabSireh ke liye behad shukrguzaar hooN.

Do din tak mere paas internet kii sahoolat nahiN thii. Jaise hii yeh sahoolat muhayyaa hougaii maiN ne souchaa ke apni taazah gahazl behjdooN.. Urdubandhan per aane ke bad souchaa ke sirf urdu kii image file bhejne ke bad farmaayish hougi ke maiN roman meiN bhii likhkhooN. Isi liye jaldi meiN wo saari ghalaTiyaaN hougaieeN jin kii Taraf aap ne ishaarah kiyaa hei. Umooman maiN aek baar hii nahiN balkeh kaiee bar iAaadat-e-nazar kartaa hooN lekin aaj jaldi kii vajah se ihmaal bartnaa paRaa.

Aapki dii houi daad mere liye aek tabarruk hei jiske liye dili shukriyah adaa kartaa hooN.

Lafz-e-qaTaar hamaare yahaaN is qadar kacrat se isteAmaal houtaa hei ke kisi dictionary meiN dekhne kii zaroorat nahiN pesh aayi. Taaham Aadat ke mutaabiq ghazal kehne ke bad jab Twentieth Centrury Dictionary meiN dekhaa tou vahaaN bhi qaraar likhkhaa houaa thaa. Aapke likhne per jab maiN ne Farhang-e-aasafiya dekhi tou vahaaN likhkha houaa hei ke lafz "qiTaar" hei jo "qaTaar" bahut ziyaadah mash'hoor hei yani (bahut kacrat se isteAmaal houtaa hei.). MaiN ne iski hijaa zehn meiN durust karli hei aur inshaallah aayindah qiTaar hii likhkhoongaa.

QiTaar-e-chashm-e-nam

Aap ne farmaayaa hei ke aapko yeh tarkeeb achchi nahiN lagi. Is silsile meiN yeh kehnaa zaroori hei ke mere zehn meiN kyaa baat thii jou maiN ne yeh tarkeeb isteAmaal kii. Mere zehn meiN "aansuaoN kii laRii yaa jhaRii" kaa tasavvur thaa. Iske TooTne se muraad thii iske silsileh kaa munqaTeA houjaanaa. Lafz "TooTnaa" munqaTiA houne ke mani meiN bhii isteAmal houtaa hei.

Mazmoon aur radeef ko zehn meiN rakhte houe is ke ilaawah mere zehn meiN koii tarkeeb nah aasakii. Ab aap ke kehne per maiN bhii ghaur kartaa hooN aur aapke zehn meiN bhii koii tarkeeb aaye tou likhiye, maiN isko badal doongaa. Shukriya.


Aapka Mukhlis,

Nazir.

Last edited by Abdullah Nazir on Sat Jul 23, 2005 7:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image
jawaid badauni
-
-
Posts: 810
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
Contact:

Post by jawaid badauni »

Mohtarmee Abdullah Nazir Sahab
Tasleem

Aapki Ghazal mujhe iss liye bhi bahut pasaNd aati hai kyooNkeh amooman uska lab.o.lhja mere aanjahanee ustad Raunaq Badauni Marhoom se bahut milta joolta hia. Aaj jab dafter thaka hoa aaya to aap kee ghazal dekhkar dil ne bahut taazgee mahsoos ki.

Allah aapko salaamat rakhe aur aap aise hi kalam se nawazte raheN (aamin). Meri naacheez daad.O.tahseen qubool farmaaiyega.


Ahqar,

Jawaid Badauni
jawaid badauni
-
-
Posts: 810
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
Contact:

Post by jawaid badauni »


MaKhdoomee Abdullah Nazir Sahab, Aadaab

Hamare ilm meN izafe ke liye yeh bataaiyega keh "AADMIYYAT" AUR
"ALOOHIYYAT" ke wazn meN tashdeed ka wazn shamil karna kya laazmi hai ya aisa bhi kya ja sakta hai?

Kya aadmiYYat ko bawazn aadmiYat bhi istaimal kiya ja sakta hai?

Aapke jawab ke liye aap ka mamnoon rahooNga.


Nacheez,

Jawaid Badauni
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:

Bahut bahut Shukriyah

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtarami o Azeezi
Jawaid Badayuni Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat, :lol:


Aap in aHbaab ke iAtiraazaat ke baare meiN kuch nah kaheN. Kam ilmi insaan ko baRi baateN karne per uksaati hei. Imaam-e-shaafeAi ke 2 sheAr yooN heiN Arabi meiN:

Kullumaa addabani aldahru
araani naqsa Aaqlii
wa izaa mazdadtu ilman
zaadani ilman be-jehli.

Iska tarjamah yooN housaktaa hei:

zamane ne mujhe jisqadar bhii adab sikhayaa mujhe samjhaayaa keh meri Aql kitni naaqiS hei, aur agar maiN ne apne ilm meiN izaafah nahiN kiyaa tou meri laailmi kii vajah se mere ilm meiN izaafah houaa.

Is kaa mafhoom yeh hei keh maiN aek Taalib-e-ilm hooN aur apne ilm meiN izaafah kartaa rehtaa hooN. Iske bavajood jab koii aisaa sawaal poochaa jaataa hei jiske javaab kaa mujhe ilm nahiN houtaa mujhe ihsaas houtaa hei ke meri Aql naaqis hei. Aur maiN us sawaal ke javaab kii khouj lagaakar muTmain houjaataa hooN. Is TaraH meri laailmi kii vajah se bhi mere ilm meiN izaafah houjaataa hei.

Yaqeenan agar in aHbaab ke andaz-e-takhaaTub meiN zaraa sii bhii durushti paayi jaati hei tou waqti Taur per dilbardaashtah houjaataa hooN bilkul usi TaraH se jaisaa ke apne laRkaoN se. Uske b'ad saaraa gham o ghussah Taaq-e-nisyaaN meiN chalaa jaataa hei. Isi liye tou nisyaaN ko aek niAmat bhii kahaa jaataa hei.

Aapka Sawaal

Zauq kaa sheAr hei:
"kuch houti aadamiyyat agar houte aadami
yeh khoobroo tou Hoor houe yaa pari houe"
Shauq kaa sheAr yooN hei:
"Hei bashar ke liye muravvat sharT
aadami ko hei aadamiyyat sharT."

Yehi shakl uloohiy'yat kii bhii hei yani tashdeed ke saath hii isteAmaal karsakte heiN kiyunkeh jis zubaan se yeh lafz aaye heiN us meiN isi TaraH se isteAmaal houte heiN.

Albattah boul chaal meiN b'az alfaaz kii shakl badal jaati hei jaise (Haiciy'yat) baghair tashdeed ke bhii sunne meiN aataa hei. Is per bhii asl zubaan tou Haiciy'yat hii hei.

Yeh sab baateN maiN apni Hudood-e-ilm ke daayireh meiN rehte houe bataarahaa hooN. Housaktaa hei kisi kii vusAat-e-ilm use mukhtalif baataoN kaa izhaar karne kii ijaazut de.

Kahaa jaataa hei naa (fauqa kull-e-zee ilmin Aleem) yani her ilm rakhne waale se ziyaadah ilm rakhne waalaa maujood hei.

Ummeed ke tashaffi bakhsh javaab de sakaa.


Aapka Mukhlis,

Nazir.

Image
Post Reply