Ghazal: "aaiina mujh ko ..."

[irfan abid]

aadaab, dosto!

ek taaza Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai. mulaahiza farmaaiye aur apnii raae se navaaziye.

Ghazal

aaiina mujh ko pas-o-pesh meN taktaa kyuuN hai
mujh meN Khaamii hai to kahne meN jhijhaktaa kyuuN hai

justujuu jis kii ho aisaa to nahiiN kuchh mujh meN
ek saayaa mire atraaf bhaTaktaa kyuuN hai

tujh se kuchh rabt nahiiN hai to bhalaa teraa Khayaal
phuul ban kar mirii saaNsoN meN mahaktaa kyuuN hai

tuu ne Khud raah-e-muhabbat ko chunaa thaa, ai dil!
ab ye tanhaayii meN raatoN kii sisaktaa kyuuN hai

kaun aayegaa mire paas, kise fursat hai
dil-e-deevaana har aahaT pe dhaRaktaa kyuuN hai

vaaqif-e-ishq nahiiN jo vo bhalaa kyaa jaane
maut ke muNh meN bhii parvaana thiraktaa kyuuN hai

be.zarar zarra-e-Khaashaak saa meraa ye vujuud
jaane ahbaab kii aaNkhoN meN khaTaktaa kyuuN hai

jeete jee laash kii maanind koii ho jaaye
is qadar jism rah-e-dahr meN thaktaa kyuuN hai

kaise maanuuN ki bahut Khush ho yahaaN tum :Abid:
Gham nahiiN hai to phir aaNkhoN se Tapaktaa kyuuN hai

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

[Sarwar A. Raz]

mukarramee Irfan SaaHeb: aadaab!

aap kee Ghazal dekh` kar dilee masarrat huyee. Khayaalaat saadah aur pur-acar aur bayaan bh`ee waisaa hee! maashaa-Allah! naacheez kee daad HaaZ^ir hai!

jahaaN Ghazal ne muta,accir kiyaa waheeN yeh eHsaas bh`ee huwaa keh yeh Ghazal aap ne kuch` jaldee meN kahee hai. aap kaa raNg is meN numaayaaN hai lekin bunat aur bandish kee jo chustee aap kaa KhaaSSah hai is meN kam naz^ar aayee. ho saktaa hai keh yeh meree naz^ar kaa quSoor ho.

micaal ke t^aur se aap kaa mat^la' yooN hai:

aaiina mujh ko pas-o-pesh meN taktaa kyuuN hai
mujh meN Khaamii hai to kahne meN jhijhaktaa kyuuN hai

awwal to :pas-o-pesh meN taknaa: muHaawarah jaNchaa naheeN. doosre yeh keh bh`artee ke alfaaz^ aap kee nigaah-e-iHtisaab se kaise baalaa-baalaa hee guZar gaYe? :aa,eenah: kaa lafz^ dekh`te hee Zehn meN yeh aayaa:

aaiina yooN mujhe Hairaanee se taktaa kyuuN hai
koyee Khaamii hai to kahne meN jhijhaktaa kyuuN hai

mazeed yeh keh :aa,eenah: aap ko :pesh: meN to shaayad tak bh`ee le! lekin :pas: meN kaise tak saktaa hai? aur agar woh is par qaadir huwaa bh`ee (eeN Khaayaal ast-o-maHaal ast-o-junooN!) to aap ko kaise Khabar ho gee?

yeh ek u'moomee ta,accur mujh` ko huwaa aur kayee maqaamaat par huwaa. tafSeel naheeN likh`taa hooN! Dartaa hooN keh kaheeN aap meree ma'rooZ^aat ko "kuch` aur" nah samajh` baiTh`eN!

majmoo,e'e t^aur se Ghazal bohat achh`ee hai. mubaarakbaad qubool keejiYe!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami
Irfan Abid Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal behad pasand aayi jiske liye dili daad aur mubarakbad pesh kartaa hooN.

Mandarja-e-zeil sheAr per Sarwar Saahib kii Hairaani apni jagah per durust maAloom houti hei:

aaiina mujh ko pas-o-pesh meN taktaa kyuuN hai
mujh meN Khaamii hai to kahne meN jhijhaktaa kyuuN hai

Agar aaiina se aapka kinaayah aek aise paikar-e-Jamaal kii Taraf hei jo aapko taktaa rhetaa hei tou mumkin hei is sheAr kii tashreeH housake warnah bahut mushkil hei. Paikar-e-jamaal kaa aapko taknaa bhii mukkin hei aur kuch nah kehnaa bhii.


Aapka Mukhlis,

Nazir.

[irfan abid]

Sara sahiba, aadaab arz hai!

aap ne Ghazal pasand farmaayii, ye mere liye behad Khushii kii baat hai. meraa dilii shukriya qubuul keejiye!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

[irfan abid]

muhtaram Sarwar Sb, aadaab!

daad kaa shukriya! maiN jaldii meN sher nahiiN kahtaa. is Ghazal par bhii maiN ne utnii hii mahnat kii hai jitnii apnii deegar naacheez taKhleeqaat par kartaa huuN. ab agar is meN aap ko KhaamiyaaN nazar aayiiN to koii ta.ajjub nahiiN. qaara.een kii pasand par meraa koii iKhtiyaar nahiiN. maiN apne taiiN is kaavish se mut.main huuN.

matla par aap ke aitarazaat par merii maaruuzaat haazir haiN.

1. merii naacheez raae meN matla meN koii bhartii kaa lafz nahiiN hai. duusre misre meN :mujh: ko duhraane kaa maqsad apnii taraf saaf ishaaraa karnaa hai taaki (aaine samet) kisii aur kii Khaamii kaa taassur na paidaa ho.

2. mujavviza badal meN aap ne :hairaanee: kaa istemaal kiyaa hai. aaiine kaa hairaan honaa nihaayat ghisaa piTaa mazmuun hai. aisaa nahiiN ki maiN aam mazaameen nahiiN baaNdhtaa, lekin yahaaN maiN ne kuchh nayaapan paidaa karne kii koshish kii hai.

3. aap ne farmaayaa hai ki aaiina shaayad :pesh: meN dekh bhii le, :pas: meN nahiiN dekh saktaa. aap ko :pas-o-pesh meN taknaa: kuchh :jachaa: nahiiN. dar-asl aap ko is fiqre kaa matlab hii samajh meN nahiiN aayaa, jo zaraa hairat kii baat hai. aap ne agar zahn par zor diyaa hotaa to baat saaf thii. maiN jaantaa huuN ki dekhaa hameshaa :saamne: jaataa hai (peechhe dekhne kii salaahiyat bhii chand maKhluuqaat ko haasil hai, lekin un par sher nahiiN kahe jaate!) maiN tajribaat zaruur kartaa huuN, lekin aise be.tuke nahiiN ki nigaah saamne jaaye aur manzar peechhe kaa nazar aaye! :pas-o-pesh meN taknaa: se merii muraad :tazabzub kii haalat meN taknaa: hai, aur merii naacheez raae meN ye mafhuum adaa ho rahaa hai.

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

[irfan abid]

muhtaram Nazir Sb, aadaab arz hai!

aap kii daad ke liye dilii shukriya pesh kartaa huuN!

Sarwar Sb kii hairaanii par mujhe hairaanii ho rahii hai. ek seedhaa saa sher un kii samajh meN nahiiN aayaa. aap hii bataaiye ki saamne :meN: yaa peechhe :meN: dekhnaa kahaaN kii zabaan hai! yahaaN merii muraad aage peechhe dekhnaa nahiiN hai. baaqii tafseel maiN Sarwar Sb ko apne javaab meN likh chukaa huuN. munaasib samjheN to aap bhii dekh leejiyegaa.

aap kii :paikar-e-jamaal: kii shart se maiN muttafiq nahiiN huuN. shaairii meN (Khaas taur par aaj kal kii shaairii meN) aaiinaa kaa kisii ko taknaa aur kuchh kahnaa donoN mustamil haiN, aur zaruurii nahiiN ki ishaaraa kisii paikar-e-jamaal kii taraf ho. ek misaal dekhiye.

ye aaiinaa hai ye to sach hii kahegaa
bhalaa kyuuN haqiiqat se katraa rahe ho (Saeed Rahi)

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

[Hashmat Usmani]

salaam Irfan saaHib,

aapkii ghazal nazar guzaar huii aur bahot pasand bhii aayii magar maiN bhii yehii samajhtaa huN ki janaab e sarwar aur Naazir saaHibaan kii raaye emN vazan hai bhale aap usse muttafiq na hoN. yeh bhii bajaa hai ki shaa'irii aapne apne taskeen e zauq ke liye karte haiN magar yeh bhii maannaa paRegaa ki shaai'rii koii dusraa bhii paRhtaa hai aur use bhii baat appeal karnii chaahiye. koi yeh kahe ki zamaana mujh se hai maiN zamaane se nahiiN to munaasib nahiN hogaa. haN, kisii kii raaye ko qubool karna ya na karnaa aapkaa Haq hai. aap yaqeenan ek achchhe shaa'ir haiN magar bere se bare shaa'ir ke kalaam meN kabhii jhol aa hii jaataa hai aur har kalaam ek paaye ka nahiiN hotaa. 19-20 ka pher to rahtaa hii hai. Khair...ummeed hai ki aap merii baatoN kaa buraa nahiiN manaaeNge. maiN kis ginti meN huN ki aiteraaz karuuN magar dil kii baat kahne meN koi musaaiqa bhii nahiiN samajhtaa. shukria.

aapkii Ghazal ke sabhii ash'aar pasand aaye hamesha kii taraH. ummeed hai ki aapke mazeed kalaam paRhne ko jaldii mileNge. peshgii shukria.

faqat aHqar,
hashmat

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami
Irfan Abid Sahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Pas o pesh kii Had tak Sarwar Saahib se chook hougaii. Aisaa tou houtaa hii is meiN Hairaani kii baat nahiN. Agar wo apni vazaaHut per muSir houjayeN tou alag baat hei. Pas o pesh, shah o panj kii TaraH kaa muHaavirah hei.

JahaN tak aaieenah ke paikar-e-jamal houne kii taraf meri naqis nazar gaii us kaa sabab aap ke mandarja-e-zeil maTleA ke b'az alfaaz heiN:

aaiina mujh ko pas-o-pesh meN taktaa kyuuN hai
mujh meN Khaamii hai to kahne meN jhijhaktaa kyuuN hai

Aaieeneh kaa taknaa baqaul aap ke bilkul saheeh hei ke aayieeneh se hii muraad lii jaye jaisaa ke aap ne micaaleN dii heiN. Aapke doosre miSreah meiN:

mujh meN Khaamii hai to kahne meN jhijhaktaa kyuuN hai

iii vajah se maiN ne souchaa ke shayad aapka kinaayah kisi paikar-e-jamal yaa husn kii Taraf hou kiyunkeh aayieenah aek jaamid cheez hei jou aek tasveer tou pesh karsaktaa hei (monh tak saktaa hei) lekin jhijaknaa uski sifat nahiN. Baharhaal aap ne vazaaHut kardi ke aapki muraad aayieneh se hii hei tou shayer kii fikr hii saHeeH housakti hei. Javaab ke liye beHad shukrguzaar hooN.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

[irfan abid]

Hashmat Sb, salaam arz hai!

daad ke liye hasb-e-saabiq behad mamnuun huuN. shukriya! janaab, aap ko merii kis baat se ye taassur milaa ki :zamaana mujh se hai: ? bhaaii, mujhe apnii liyaaqat kii baabat aisaa gumaaN kabhii nahiiN huaa. rahii Ghazal-e-haaza ke matla kii baat, to maiN apnii raae pesh kar chukaa huuN. mazeed tafseel kii chandaaN zaruurat nahiiN.

aap kii daad kaa ek martba phir shukriya!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

[Shummu]

aaiina mujh ko pas-o-pesh meN taktaa kyuuN hai
mujh meN Khaamii hai to kahne meN jhijhaktaa kyuuN hai

justujuu jis kii ho aisaa to nahiiN kuchh mujh meN
ek saayaa mire atraaf bhaTaktaa kyuuN hai

tujh se kuchh rabt nahiiN hai to bhalaa teraa Khayaal
phuul ban kar mirii saaNsoN meN mahaktaa kyuuN hai

tuu ne Khud raah-e-muhabbat ko chunaa thaa, ai dil!
ab ye tanhaayii meN raatoN kii sisaktaa kyuuN hai

kaun aayegaa mire paas, kise fursat hai
dil-e-deevaana har aahaT pe dhaRaktaa kyuuN hai

vaaqif-e-ishq nahiiN jo vo bhalaa kyaa jaane
maut ke muNh meN bhii parvaana thiraktaa kyuuN hai

be.zarar zarra-e-Khaashaak saa meraa ye vujuud
jaane ahbaab kii aaNkhoN meN khaTaktaa kyuuN hai

jeete jee laash kii maanind koii ho jaaye
is qadar jism rah-e-dahr meN thaktaa kyuuN hai

kaise maanuuN ki bahut Khush ho yahaaN tum :Abid:
Gham nahiiN hai to phir aaNkhoN se Tapaktaa kyuuN hai

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

wah Abid sahab wah....kya kehne..bahut hi umda ghazal kahi hai aapne....sadaa magar pur acar...dil ko chuu gayi... daad haazir hai

Shumaila

[Anmol]

aadaab, dosto!

W.adaab!

ek taaza Ghazal pesh-e-Khidmat hai. mulaahiza farmaaiye aur apnii raae se navaaziye.

Ghazal

aaiina mujh ko pas-o-pesh meN taktaa kyuuN hai
mujh meN Khaamii hai to kahne meN jhijhaktaa kyuuN hai

Ye kesa aaeena hay jo KhaamiyaN batane meiN jhijhak raha hay. Wese agar aap waqai jaanna chahte heN to hamari bhabhi sahiba ko aaeena bana lijiye, unheN aap ki sab KhaamiyaN pata hoNgi aur woh batane meiN zara bhi pas-o-pesh se kaam na leNgi.

justujuu jis kii ho aisaa to nahiiN kuchh mujh meN
ek saayaa mire atraaf bhaTaktaa kyuuN hai

Bohot Khoob.

Wese itna sach kyooN bola ja raha hay aaj?

tujh se kuchh rabt nahiiN hai to bhalaa teraa Khayaal
phuul ban kar mirii saaNsoN meN mahaktaa kyuuN hai

Talluq jo maiN samjha tha, kahiN us se zyada hay!!!!

tuu ne Khud raah-e-muhabbat ko chunaa thaa, ai dil!
ab ye tanhaayii meN raatoN kii sisaktaa kyuuN hai

HaaN, ab bhugto na aay dil, nadaan.

kaun aayegaa mire paas, kise fursat hai
dil-e-deevaana har aahaT pe dhaRaktaa kyuuN hai

Woh to aadatan dhaRak raha hay. :?

be.zarar zarra-e-Khaashaak saa meraa ye vujuud
jaane ahbaab kii aaNkhoN meN khaTaktaa kyuuN hai

Bezarar log hi to aankhoN meiN khaTakte heN.

kaise maanuuN ki bahut Khush ho yahaaN tum :Abid:
Gham nahiiN hai to phir aaNkhoN se Tapaktaa kyuuN hai



Abid ji, kafi din baad browsing karne lagi to dekha k aap ki aik ghazal jaane kab se meri adna raaye ki muntazir hay, der se aane ki muazrat chahti huN, is Khoobsoorat ghazal per meri jaanib se dili daad qubool kijiye. Sabhi ashaar achhe heN aur jo thoRi bohot cheRchaar ki hay, umeed hay giraaN na guzri hogi.

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

[irfan abid]

Shumaila sahiba, aadaab!

taaKheer ke liye behad sharminda huuN. baRe dinoN baad mulaaqaat huii. ummeed hai mizaaj baKhair hoNge. Ghazal par daad kaa bahut bahut shukriya!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

[irfan abid]

Anmol sahiba, aadaab!

aap kii giraaN.qadr daad mere liye baRaa aizaaz hai, aur aap kii chheRchaaR ek qeematii tuhfa! donoN ke liye shukriya!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid: