yaaraan-e-bazm: aadaab!
ek taazah naz^m pesh kar rahaa hooN. tafSeel Urdu peshlafz meN de rahaa hooN. aap kee raaYa kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. shukriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
ek naz^m : ?
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
-
- -
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
- Contact:
ek naz^m : ?
- Attachments
-
- ad-peshlafz1_cr.gif (20.16 KiB) Viewed 286 times
-
- ad-peshlafz2_cr.gif (5.76 KiB) Viewed 286 times
-
- nz-kaunhoon_cr.gif (13.49 KiB) Viewed 286 times
Last edited by Sarwar A. Raz on Wed Aug 03, 2005 4:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
-
- -
- Posts: 810
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
- Contact:
Mohtarmee janab Sarwar Raz Sahab,
Tasleemaat.
Aap ne apnee "post" ko mere hamwatan shayar Fani Badauni ke she'r se shuroo kiya hai, jo amr mere liye bayise masarrat hai.
Nazm ka kya kahna janab, dil khoosh ho gaya. Kya umdah zubaan istaimal ki hai, subHaan Allah. Nah jane "Urdu vocabulary" ki is manzil per pahooNchne meN hameN kitne saal lageN ge, shayad pahooNch hi nah sakeN. (Main angreze ke alfaaz waheeN likhta hoN jahaN unka saheeh tarjuma mere zahn meN nah aata ho. )
Nazm meN jis haseen andaaz se "tasalsul" ko barqaraar rakhkha gayaa hai, yeh kaam koii kohna mashq hi kar sakta hai. Meri naacheez daad aur mubarkbAAd qubool kijiye.
Main iss murassah Nazm ke liye mundarjah zel "unwaan" tajweez karta hooN, agar qabile qubool ho:
"MAI(N) FAREB APNI HI JAA(N) KA HOO(N)"
Taalib-e Doa
Jawaid Badauni
Tasleemaat.
Aap ne apnee "post" ko mere hamwatan shayar Fani Badauni ke she'r se shuroo kiya hai, jo amr mere liye bayise masarrat hai.
Nazm ka kya kahna janab, dil khoosh ho gaya. Kya umdah zubaan istaimal ki hai, subHaan Allah. Nah jane "Urdu vocabulary" ki is manzil per pahooNchne meN hameN kitne saal lageN ge, shayad pahooNch hi nah sakeN. (Main angreze ke alfaaz waheeN likhta hoN jahaN unka saheeh tarjuma mere zahn meN nah aata ho. )
Nazm meN jis haseen andaaz se "tasalsul" ko barqaraar rakhkha gayaa hai, yeh kaam koii kohna mashq hi kar sakta hai. Meri naacheez daad aur mubarkbAAd qubool kijiye.
Main iss murassah Nazm ke liye mundarjah zel "unwaan" tajweez karta hooN, agar qabile qubool ho:
"MAI(N) FAREB APNI HI JAA(N) KA HOO(N)"
Taalib-e Doa
Jawaid Badauni
- Abdullah Nazir
- -
- Posts: 2681
- Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
- Location: Jeddah
- Contact:
Bahut achci nazm hei
MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar: Saahib,
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,
Aapki yeh nazm paRhkar bahut luTf andouz houaa aur maiN samajhtaa hooN ke yeh aapki aek shaahkaar nazm hei. Aek shayer kii andarooni kaifiyat jis meiN vajood se waabusta sawaalaat zahoor pazeer houkar usko apni zaat kii haqeeqat jaanne per uksaarahe heiN.
Khud'aagahi usi waqt paidaa houti hei jab aadami aadamiyyat ke daayireh meiN rehte houe bhii apni Hissi aur ghair Hissi majbooriyaoN se waaqif houne lagtaa hei.
MaiN aapki is munfarid nazm per dili daad aur mubaarakbaad pesh kartaa hooN.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Last edited by Abdullah Nazir on Sun Jul 31, 2005 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Mahtab Qadr
- -
- Posts: 559
- Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:36 am
- Location: Jeddah Saudi Arabia
- Contact:
Mohatram Sarwar Raz sahib Salaam e masnoon
Nazm aapki hai islye shahkar na hona ka koi sabab nahi . har sher apni poori chamak damak ke saath aapki androoni kaifatoN ka mazhar hai. balke is saari nazm aur uski tamheed mai kahi gai aapki nacri tahreer behad mutasir karne wali hai. shayed aadmi apni umr ke kisi na ksi hisse mai iska khyaal aata hai ke uski shinakh kia hai aur kia vo apni takhleeq ke maqsad ko poora kar raha hai ya nahi. aur yahi lamhe usko Khaliq e Haeeqi ki taraf murajiat ka ehsaas dilaate aur sabab bante haiN. aap aise qalam ke shahsawar fikr o hunar ke alambardaar agar in kaifiatoN ko dastak e khudawandi na samjheiN to kaun samjhe ga. aap ki ehsasaat se bharpoor tahreeroN ne bahut mutassir kia , Allah aapki umr daraaz farmaaye aur aapke ilmi khazaane se dosroN ko mustafeed farmaye.aameen
niazmand
Mahtab Qadr
Nazm aapki hai islye shahkar na hona ka koi sabab nahi . har sher apni poori chamak damak ke saath aapki androoni kaifatoN ka mazhar hai. balke is saari nazm aur uski tamheed mai kahi gai aapki nacri tahreer behad mutasir karne wali hai. shayed aadmi apni umr ke kisi na ksi hisse mai iska khyaal aata hai ke uski shinakh kia hai aur kia vo apni takhleeq ke maqsad ko poora kar raha hai ya nahi. aur yahi lamhe usko Khaliq e Haeeqi ki taraf murajiat ka ehsaas dilaate aur sabab bante haiN. aap aise qalam ke shahsawar fikr o hunar ke alambardaar agar in kaifiatoN ko dastak e khudawandi na samjheiN to kaun samjhe ga. aap ki ehsasaat se bharpoor tahreeroN ne bahut mutassir kia , Allah aapki umr daraaz farmaaye aur aapke ilmi khazaane se dosroN ko mustafeed farmaye.aameen
niazmand
Mahtab Qadr
-
- -
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
- Contact:
muHibbee Jawaid SaaHeb: aadaab!
yaad-aawaree kaa shukriyah. naz^m kaa aap ko pasand aa jaanaa mere liYe baa,ic-e-masarrat hai. reh gayaa us kaa u'nwaan to zindagee meN har cheez kaa u'nwaan naheeN huwaa kartaa hai. ba'Z^ lamHaat apnee Zaat meN hee kaafee hote haiN. maiN is naz^m se yooN hee mut^ma,in hooN. aap kee tajweez kaa shurkriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yaad-aawaree kaa shukriyah. naz^m kaa aap ko pasand aa jaanaa mere liYe baa,ic-e-masarrat hai. reh gayaa us kaa u'nwaan to zindagee meN har cheez kaa u'nwaan naheeN huwaa kartaa hai. ba'Z^ lamHaat apnee Zaat meN hee kaafee hote haiN. maiN is naz^m se yooN hee mut^ma,in hooN. aap kee tajweez kaa shurkriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
-
- -
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
- Contact:
muHtaramee Nazir SaaHeb: tasleemaat!
bandah-nawaazee kaa kis t^araH shukriyah adaa karooN? aap ko naz^m pasand aayee to yeh mere liYe faKhr kaa baa,ic huwaa! zindagee hameshah hee mere liYe ek mu,a'mmah rahee hai. shaayad har ek ke liYe hee rahee ho! Fani ne kyaa Khoob kahaa th`aa:
ik mu,a'mmah hai, samajh`ne kaa nah samjh`aane kaa
zindagee kaahe ko hai, Khwaab hai deewaane kaa!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
bandah-nawaazee kaa kis t^araH shukriyah adaa karooN? aap ko naz^m pasand aayee to yeh mere liYe faKhr kaa baa,ic huwaa! zindagee hameshah hee mere liYe ek mu,a'mmah rahee hai. shaayad har ek ke liYe hee rahee ho! Fani ne kyaa Khoob kahaa th`aa:
ik mu,a'mmah hai, samajh`ne kaa nah samjh`aane kaa
zindagee kaahe ko hai, Khwaab hai deewaane kaa!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
-
- -
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
- Contact:
a'zeezee Mehtab Qadr SaaHeb: aadaab!
aap kee muHabbat hai jo hameshah hee mujh` ko achh`e alfaaz^ se yaad karte haiN. dilee mamnoon hooN. naz^m jaisee kuch` bh`ee hai dil kee aawaaz hai aur isee liYe us ne aap ke dil ko ch`oo bh`ee liyaa hai.
aap ne mujh` ko daraazee-e-u'mr kee dua'a dee hai. is par Jigar kaa ek she'r sun leejiYe!
muSeebat hai yeh lambee zindagaanee
buzurgoN kee du,a'a ne maar Daalaa!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
aap kee muHabbat hai jo hameshah hee mujh` ko achh`e alfaaz^ se yaad karte haiN. dilee mamnoon hooN. naz^m jaisee kuch` bh`ee hai dil kee aawaaz hai aur isee liYe us ne aap ke dil ko ch`oo bh`ee liyaa hai.
aap ne mujh` ko daraazee-e-u'mr kee dua'a dee hai. is par Jigar kaa ek she'r sun leejiYe!
muSeebat hai yeh lambee zindagaanee
buzurgoN kee du,a'a ne maar Daalaa!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
-
- -
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
- Contact:
mukarramah Sara SaaHebah: aadaab!
Khat^ aur daad kaa shukriyah! aap kee mehrbaanee hai!
aap ne jo likh`aa hai keh maiN "Urdubandhan se baNdh`aa huwaa hooN" to yeh rishtah to bohat kamzor hai aur kal TooT saktaa hai! meHfiloN ke in rishtoN kee mujh` ko fikr naheeN hai. is se pehle bh`ee th`e aur nah rahe. aa,indah bh`ee yeh ho saktaa hai!
baat meHfiloN kee naheeN hai, baat diloN kee hai! baaqee sab saraab hai!
Note: mehrbaanee kar ke mere naam ke saath :edit: jo lagaa hai us ko haTaa deN. kal hee tajribeh se ma'loom huwaa keh ab yeh sahoolat mujh` ko mayassar naheeN hai. to is ko likh`ne se kyaa HaaSil? maiN to kabh`ee bh`ee is kaa KhwaahaaN naheeN th`aa aur nah hooN- nah yahaaN aur nah hee kaheeN aur! shukriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Khat^ aur daad kaa shukriyah! aap kee mehrbaanee hai!
aap ne jo likh`aa hai keh maiN "Urdubandhan se baNdh`aa huwaa hooN" to yeh rishtah to bohat kamzor hai aur kal TooT saktaa hai! meHfiloN ke in rishtoN kee mujh` ko fikr naheeN hai. is se pehle bh`ee th`e aur nah rahe. aa,indah bh`ee yeh ho saktaa hai!
baat meHfiloN kee naheeN hai, baat diloN kee hai! baaqee sab saraab hai!
Note: mehrbaanee kar ke mere naam ke saath :edit: jo lagaa hai us ko haTaa deN. kal hee tajribeh se ma'loom huwaa keh ab yeh sahoolat mujh` ko mayassar naheeN hai. to is ko likh`ne se kyaa HaaSil? maiN to kabh`ee bh`ee is kaa KhwaahaaN naheeN th`aa aur nah hooN- nah yahaaN aur nah hee kaheeN aur! shukriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar: