aik Nazm: Kashf
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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Ibn-e-siddique
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- Posts: 219
- Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2004 4:12 am
- Location: Doha Qatar
- Contact:
Naheed saHiba
salaam arz hai
hamesha ki taraH aap ka judaa.gaana andaaz
maiN yaqeeN ke saath
teri rooH ko meHsoos karna chaahati hooN
raat din, teri sangat meiN
mehekna chahati hooN ...........
aik maa'soom si khwaahish, daad qubool keejiye, aap ki teHreereN mujhe bahot pasand aati haiN
amjad
salaam arz hai
hamesha ki taraH aap ka judaa.gaana andaaz
maiN yaqeeN ke saath
teri rooH ko meHsoos karna chaahati hooN
raat din, teri sangat meiN
mehekna chahati hooN ...........
aik maa'soom si khwaahish, daad qubool keejiye, aap ki teHreereN mujhe bahot pasand aati haiN
amjad
Mire ash'aar ae Iqbal kyuN pyaare na hoN mujhko
mire TooTe hue dil ke ye dard.angez naale haiN
mire TooTe hue dil ke ye dard.angez naale haiN
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Mahtab Qadr
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- Posts: 559
- Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:36 am
- Location: Jeddah Saudi Arabia
- Contact:
Ibn-e-siddique wrote:Naheed saHiba
salaam arz hai
hamesha ki taraH aap ka judaa.gaana andaaz
maiN yaqeeN ke saath
teri rooH ko meHsoos karna chaahati hooN
raat din, teri sangat meiN
mehekna chahati hooN ...........
aik maa'soom si khwaahish, daad qubool keejiye, aap ki teHreereN mujhe bahot pasand aati haiN
amjad
janaab Amjad jee,
aadaab,
hamesha ki taraH aap kaa aNdaaz.e.ta'rif aur hosloa kun daad!!
buhat buhat shukriya :)
mukhliS
Naheed
Raji sis,Raji wrote:Bohat hee khoobsoorat aur bohat hee a’aala tarz-e-bayaan ke saat munfarid mazmoon kee a’amil hee nazm dil ko chou gayee hai.
Naheed sis dil kee ghairahiyoN se dilee daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.
Dua go
Your sis
Raji
aap itne dinoN ke ba'd nazar aayeeN aur achaa lagaa aap ko daikh kar :)
nazm ko pasaNd karne ke liye buhat shukriya!
mukhliS
Naheed
naheed ji adab. nazm paRhna hamisha hamain buhat acha lagta hay aurba zum a khaish ham nazm kay achay parikh bhi hain. ham aap ki nazm ka tajziya karna chah rahay thay. hamaray mushhiday kay mutabiq tamama urdu forums par nazm kahnay waly sirf doo teen loog hi hain. aur app ki soorat main un main aik mutbar nam shamil hoo gia hay. mubarak qabool ki jay.
aap kay forums par aik sahib howa kartay thay joo ab nazar nahi aatay. woo nazm kahnay kay hunar say agah thay. aur sachi bat hay aap ki nazm un ki nazm ka muqabila karti hay. nam hay un ka dawood rizwan.
aap ki is nazm main gharai aur geerai doonoon badarja utam moojood hain. tanhai ki nafsiyati kafiyat koo aap nay alamti aur istarati satah par buhat elivate kia hay joo aik jaga kar kainati tanhai tak japunchti hay. visal kay mani ki tarkeeb nay nazm main buhat gahri paida kardi hay. main is nazm koo aam romanvi nazm ki bajay fikti nazm kay toor par daikhta hoon. is nazm main aap nay jazbati tanhai say fikri tanhai ki janib buhat umdagi say safar kia hay.
apnay aap say buchRay, durmai shamain,nangay pair tanhai, visal a mani,harf a tanha, khwahish kay siray, hasrat ki tarain, fasloon ki diwar, sadyoon ki khamooshi, chup ki deemak ki kamyab aur bharpoor tarakeeb say aap nay nazm main joo kamal payda kia hay woo aap ki nazm gooi ki bharopooriyat ki dalil hay.
aik bat joo buhat ahm hay woo ya kah aik doo wazn ki kuch galtiyan hain.joo is nazm si shandar nazm main nahi hooni chahay. doosray. azad nazm jis misra bandi ka taqaza karti hay woo is nazm main mafqood hay.
aam toor par ya khiyal kia jata hay kah azad nazm main misra bandi nahi hooti joo bilkul ghalf fahmi par mabni hay.
aap kisi bhi achay nazm kay shair koo daikh lain us kay han misra bandi ka aik khas iltizam hoo ga.
in maroozat kay sath ham ijazat chahain gay. hamain umeed hay kah aap hamari maroozat par bura nahi manain gi aur agar ham say koee ghalt ray qaim hoo gai hoo too mazrat khwah hain.
aap kay forums par aik sahib howa kartay thay joo ab nazar nahi aatay. woo nazm kahnay kay hunar say agah thay. aur sachi bat hay aap ki nazm un ki nazm ka muqabila karti hay. nam hay un ka dawood rizwan.
aap ki is nazm main gharai aur geerai doonoon badarja utam moojood hain. tanhai ki nafsiyati kafiyat koo aap nay alamti aur istarati satah par buhat elivate kia hay joo aik jaga kar kainati tanhai tak japunchti hay. visal kay mani ki tarkeeb nay nazm main buhat gahri paida kardi hay. main is nazm koo aam romanvi nazm ki bajay fikti nazm kay toor par daikhta hoon. is nazm main aap nay jazbati tanhai say fikri tanhai ki janib buhat umdagi say safar kia hay.
apnay aap say buchRay, durmai shamain,nangay pair tanhai, visal a mani,harf a tanha, khwahish kay siray, hasrat ki tarain, fasloon ki diwar, sadyoon ki khamooshi, chup ki deemak ki kamyab aur bharpoor tarakeeb say aap nay nazm main joo kamal payda kia hay woo aap ki nazm gooi ki bharopooriyat ki dalil hay.
aik bat joo buhat ahm hay woo ya kah aik doo wazn ki kuch galtiyan hain.joo is nazm si shandar nazm main nahi hooni chahay. doosray. azad nazm jis misra bandi ka taqaza karti hay woo is nazm main mafqood hay.
aam toor par ya khiyal kia jata hay kah azad nazm main misra bandi nahi hooti joo bilkul ghalf fahmi par mabni hay.
aap kisi bhi achay nazm kay shair koo daikh lain us kay han misra bandi ka aik khas iltizam hoo ga.
in maroozat kay sath ham ijazat chahain gay. hamain umeed hay kah aap hamari maroozat par bura nahi manain gi aur agar ham say koee ghalt ray qaim hoo gai hoo too mazrat khwah hain.
janaab Poet saahab,poet wrote:naheed ji adab. nazm paRhna hamisha hamain buhat acha lagta hay aurba zum a khaish ham nazm kay achay parikh bhi hain. ham aap ki nazm ka tajziya karna chah rahay thay. hamaray mushhiday kay mutabiq tamama urdu forums par nazm kahnay waly sirf doo teen loog hi hain. aur app ki soorat main un main aik mutbar nam shamil hoo gia hay. mubarak qabool ki jay.
aap kay forums par aik sahib howa kartay thay joo ab nazar nahi aatay. woo nazm kahnay kay hunar say agah thay. aur sachi bat hay aap ki nazm un ki nazm ka muqabila karti hay. nam hay un ka dawood rizwan.
aap ki is nazm main gharai aur geerai doonoon badarja utam moojood hain. tanhai ki nafsiyati kafiyat koo aap nay alamti aur istarati satah par buhat elivate kia hay joo aik jaga kar kainati tanhai tak japunchti hay. visal kay mani ki tarkeeb nay nazm main buhat gahri paida kardi hay. main is nazm koo aam romanvi nazm ki bajay fikti nazm kay toor par daikhta hoon. is nazm main aap nay jazbati tanhai say fikri tanhai ki janib buhat umdagi say safar kia hay.
apnay aap say buchRay, durmai shamain,nangay pair tanhai, visal a mani,harf a tanha, khwahish kay siray, hasrat ki tarain, fasloon ki diwar, sadyoon ki khamooshi, chup ki deemak ki kamyab aur bharpoor tarakeeb say aap nay nazm main joo kamal payda kia hay woo aap ki nazm gooi ki bharopooriyat ki dalil hay.
aik bat joo buhat ahm hay woo ya kah aik doo wazn ki kuch galtiyan hain.joo is nazm si shandar nazm main nahi hooni chahay. doosray. azad nazm jis misra bandi ka taqaza karti hay woo is nazm main mafqood hay.
aam toor par ya khiyal kia jata hay kah azad nazm main misra bandi nahi hooti joo bilkul ghalf fahmi par mabni hay.
aap kisi bhi achay nazm kay shair koo daikh lain us kay han misra bandi ka aik khas iltizam hoo ga.
in maroozat kay sath ham ijazat chahain gay. hamain umeed hay kah aap hamari maroozat par bura nahi manain gi aur agar ham say koee ghalt ray qaim hoo gai hoo too mazrat khwah hain.
sab se pehle tau ye jaan kar khushi huyee ke aap nazm ko buhat ach'ee taraH samajhne waale haiN.
aap ne durust kahaa ke yahaaN forums par Ghazal likhne waale shaa'ir tau buhat ta'daad meN haiN
magar Nazm ke havaale se chaNd aik naam hee girdaane jaate haiN aur bilaa shuba Dawood Rizwan saahab un chaNd aik
meN se aik BaRaa naam hai.
jahaaN tak meraa nazm ke havaale se pehchaane jaane kee baat hai tau mujhey ye kehte huve koyee aar maHsoos naheeN
hoti hai ke maiN abhee nazm likhnaa seekh rahi hooN. or to be very honest, mujhe nazm likhnaa abhee naheeN aati hai.
lekin mujhe apnee fikree parwaaz ke baare meN koyee shak naheeN hai aur aik vohi cheez hai jo mujhey hosla detee hai.
iss nazm ke baare ke baare meN aap ne buhat saheeN andaaza lagaayaa hai ke ye aik fikree tanhaayee kee taraf vaazeh ishaaarah
hai.
aap ne vazn ke havaale se jo baat kee hai, maiN uss se aagaah hooN, nazm ke 2nd aur 3rd baNd ke shuroo meN vazn ke
havaale se kuch masaa'il ho rahe thay aur maiN ne koshish kee ke qaaboo paa loon lekin aik rukn ne khaasaa pareshaan kiyaa,
shaayad kuch mazeed sochti tau ye masla hal ho jaataa. lekin maiN ne akcar baRe sho'raa kee nazm meN aisaa hotaa daikhaa/paRhaa hai,
aur aap ke Dawood Rizwan saahab kee nazm meN bhee maiN ne kayee baar ye cheez daihee hai,
lekin koyee shak nahi ke ye ghalati hai aur maiN iss ko durust karne kee koshish zaroor karooN gee.
misra baNdi kee baare meN sirf itnaa hi kehnaa ke janaab mujhe nazm likhnaa naheeN aati hai, nazm ke jo usool haiN, maiN un
se naavaaqif hooN. agar aap misra baNdi ke havaale se chaNd ehm nakaat bataa deN tau mere saath aur dostoN kaa bhee
bhalaa ho jaaye gaa.
iss ke saath saath mujhe khushee hai ke aap meree nazm kee gehraayee tak pahoNchane meN kaamyaab huve aur ise pasaNd farmaayaa.
waisey aap agar apne aap ko apne naam se saamne laayeN tau kyaa harj hai?
kyaa aap yaqeen kareN ge ke maiN jaanti hooN ke aap kon haiN?
shukriya
Naheed
muhtrma naheed sahiba adabnaheedv wrote:janaab Poet saahab,poet wrote:naheed ji adab. nazm paRhna hamisha hamain buhat acha lagta hay aurba zum a khaish ham nazm kay achay parikh bhi hain. ham aap ki nazm ka tajziya karna chah rahay thay. hamaray mushhiday kay mutabiq tamama urdu forums par nazm kahnay waly sirf doo teen loog hi hain. aur app ki soorat main un main aik mutbar nam shamil hoo gia hay. mubarak qabool ki jay.
aap kay forums par aik sahib howa kartay thay joo ab nazar nahi aatay. woo nazm kahnay kay hunar say agah thay. aur sachi bat hay aap ki nazm un ki nazm ka muqabila karti hay. nam hay un ka dawood rizwan.
aap ki is nazm main gharai aur geerai doonoon badarja utam moojood hain. tanhai ki nafsiyati kafiyat koo aap nay alamti aur istarati satah par buhat elivate kia hay joo aik jaga kar kainati tanhai tak japunchti hay. visal kay mani ki tarkeeb nay nazm main buhat gahri paida kardi hay. main is nazm koo aam romanvi nazm ki bajay fikti nazm kay toor par daikhta hoon. is nazm main aap nay jazbati tanhai say fikri tanhai ki janib buhat umdagi say safar kia hay.
apnay aap say buchRay, durmai shamain,nangay pair tanhai, visal a mani,harf a tanha, khwahish kay siray, hasrat ki tarain, fasloon ki diwar, sadyoon ki khamooshi, chup ki deemak ki kamyab aur bharpoor tarakeeb say aap nay nazm main joo kamal payda kia hay woo aap ki nazm gooi ki bharopooriyat ki dalil hay.
aik bat joo buhat ahm hay woo ya kah aik doo wazn ki kuch galtiyan hain.joo is nazm si shandar nazm main nahi hooni chahay. doosray. azad nazm jis misra bandi ka taqaza karti hay woo is nazm main mafqood hay.
aam toor par ya khiyal kia jata hay kah azad nazm main misra bandi nahi hooti joo bilkul ghalf fahmi par mabni hay.
aap kisi bhi achay nazm kay shair koo daikh lain us kay han misra bandi ka aik khas iltizam hoo ga.
in maroozat kay sath ham ijazat chahain gay. hamain umeed hay kah aap hamari maroozat par bura nahi manain gi aur agar ham say koee ghalt ray qaim hoo gai hoo too mazrat khwah hain.
sab se pehle tau ye jaan kar khushi huyee ke aap nazm ko buhat ach'ee taraH samajhne waale haiN.
aap ne durust kahaa ke yahaaN forums par Ghazal likhne waale shaa'ir tau buhat ta'daad meN haiN
magar Nazm ke havaale se chaNd aik naam hee girdaane jaate haiN aur bilaa shuba Dawood Rizwan saahab un chaNd aik
meN se aik BaRaa naam hai.
jahaaN tak meraa nazm ke havaale se pehchaane jaane kee baat hai tau mujhey ye kehte huve koyee aar maHsoos naheeN
hoti hai ke maiN abhee nazm likhnaa seekh rahi hooN. or to be very honest, mujhe nazm likhnaa abhee naheeN aati hai.
lekin mujhe apnee fikree parwaaz ke baare meN koyee shak naheeN hai aur aik vohi cheez hai jo mujhey hosla detee hai.
iss nazm ke baare ke baare meN aap ne buhat saheeN andaaza lagaayaa hai ke ye aik fikree tanhaayee kee taraf vaazeh ishaaarah
hai.
aap ne vazn ke havaale se jo baat kee hai, maiN uss se aagaah hooN, nazm ke 2nd aur 3rd baNd ke shuroo meN vazn ke
havaale se kuch masaa'il ho rahe thay aur maiN ne koshish kee ke qaaboo paa loon lekin aik rukn ne khaasaa pareshaan kiyaa,
shaayad kuch mazeed sochti tau ye masla hal ho jaataa. lekin maiN ne akcar baRe sho'raa kee nazm meN aisaa hotaa daikhaa/paRhaa hai,
aur aap ke Dawood Rizwan saahab kee nazm meN bhee maiN ne kayee baar ye cheez daihee hai,
lekin koyee shak nahi ke ye ghalati hai aur maiN iss ko durust karne kee koshish zaroor karooN gee.
misra baNdi kee baare meN sirf itnaa hi kehnaa ke janaab mujhe nazm likhnaa naheeN aati hai, nazm ke jo usool haiN, maiN un
se naavaaqif hooN. agar aap misra baNdi ke havaale se chaNd ehm nakaat bataa deN tau mere saath aur dostoN kaa bhee
bhalaa ho jaaye gaa.
iss ke saath saath mujhe khushee hai ke aap meree nazm kee gehraayee tak pahoNchane meN kaamyaab huve aur ise pasaNd farmaayaa.
waisey aap agar apne aap ko apne naam se saamne laayeN tau kyaa harj hai?
kyaa aap yaqeen kareN ge ke maiN jaanti hooN ke aap kon haiN?
shukriya
Naheed
sab say pehlay too ham mazirat khwah hain ka ham nay aap ki nazm par ray di. aap ki tahreer ki talkhi bata rahi hay kah aap koo hamara tanqeed karna pasand nahi aya.
chand batoon ki wazahat karna chahain gya. sab say pehlay too aap haimain nahi jantin. its dam sure.
2nd aap apni ghaltiyoon ka jawaz doosroon koo bana rahi hain joo qatan ghalt hay.
Dawood Rizwan sahib kia kisi bhi shair kay han is qisam ki auzan ki ghaltiyan na qabil a muafi hain. aur ham nay jinta thooRa buhat mutala kia hay us ki bina par kah saktay hain ka aap ki fehm ki kootahi hoo sakti hay.
ham nay Dawood Rizwan sahib ki kitab paRh rakhi hay aur us main kam az kam wazn ki koee ghalti nahi.
han aik wazahat aur karna chahain gay ka Dawood Rizwan hamaray nahi. agar hain too too batoor shair sab kay hain.
in forums par hamain Dawood aur aap almost aik hi pay kay shair lagtay hain aur ham un ki aur aap ki takhliqat koo baRi tawajoo say paRtay hain. shayri kay lihaz say too yahan par buhat say buhat acha likhnay walay moojood hain taham fikri toor par aap doonoon main haimain aik mumasital mehsoos hooti hay.
aap ghazal kahnay wali shiara hain is lay aap say too wazn ki ghalti ki qatan tawaqoo nahi ki ja sakti.
ham aap koo is nazm kay wazn kay silsalay main kuch tajaweez dayna chahtay thay lakin aap kay lehjay ki talkhi nay haiam rook dia hay.
wazn ki ghaltian sirf doosray aur teesray band main nahi hain.
aghaz hi main aik ghalti hay. mazeed aur bhi hian.
jahan tak ya mazrat hay ka aap nazm likhna jantin tajahil a arifana kia siwa aur kuch nahi.
khiyal koo aap nay buhat umdagi say bandha hay. wazn ki ghaltian aap ki fanni napukhtagi ay baRhay howay zum ka nateeja hoo sakti hian.
agar wazn main khamiyan na hoon too is poem koo koee bhi practicing poet ki namz nahi kah sakta.
mazeed kia likhain
bas muafi kay khwas gar hain
Poet saahab,poet wrote:muhtrma naheed sahiba adabnaheedv wrote:janaab Poet saahab,poet wrote:naheed ji adab. nazm paRhna hamisha hamain buhat acha lagta hay aurba zum a khaish ham nazm kay achay parikh bhi hain. ham aap ki nazm ka tajziya karna chah rahay thay. hamaray mushhiday kay mutabiq tamama urdu forums par nazm kahnay waly sirf doo teen loog hi hain. aur app ki soorat main un main aik mutbar nam shamil hoo gia hay. mubarak qabool ki jay.
aap kay forums par aik sahib howa kartay thay joo ab nazar nahi aatay. woo nazm kahnay kay hunar say agah thay. aur sachi bat hay aap ki nazm un ki nazm ka muqabila karti hay. nam hay un ka dawood rizwan.
aap ki is nazm main gharai aur geerai doonoon badarja utam moojood hain. tanhai ki nafsiyati kafiyat koo aap nay alamti aur istarati satah par buhat elivate kia hay joo aik jaga kar kainati tanhai tak japunchti hay. visal kay mani ki tarkeeb nay nazm main buhat gahri paida kardi hay. main is nazm koo aam romanvi nazm ki bajay fikti nazm kay toor par daikhta hoon. is nazm main aap nay jazbati tanhai say fikri tanhai ki janib buhat umdagi say safar kia hay.
apnay aap say buchRay, durmai shamain,nangay pair tanhai, visal a mani,harf a tanha, khwahish kay siray, hasrat ki tarain, fasloon ki diwar, sadyoon ki khamooshi, chup ki deemak ki kamyab aur bharpoor tarakeeb say aap nay nazm main joo kamal payda kia hay woo aap ki nazm gooi ki bharopooriyat ki dalil hay.
aik bat joo buhat ahm hay woo ya kah aik doo wazn ki kuch galtiyan hain.joo is nazm si shandar nazm main nahi hooni chahay. doosray. azad nazm jis misra bandi ka taqaza karti hay woo is nazm main mafqood hay.
aam toor par ya khiyal kia jata hay kah azad nazm main misra bandi nahi hooti joo bilkul ghalf fahmi par mabni hay.
aap kisi bhi achay nazm kay shair koo daikh lain us kay han misra bandi ka aik khas iltizam hoo ga.
in maroozat kay sath ham ijazat chahain gay. hamain umeed hay kah aap hamari maroozat par bura nahi manain gi aur agar ham say koee ghalt ray qaim hoo gai hoo too mazrat khwah hain.
sab se pehle tau ye jaan kar khushi huyee ke aap nazm ko buhat ach'ee taraH samajhne waale haiN.
aap ne durust kahaa ke yahaaN forums par Ghazal likhne waale shaa'ir tau buhat ta'daad meN haiN
magar Nazm ke havaale se chaNd aik naam hee girdaane jaate haiN aur bilaa shuba Dawood Rizwan saahab un chaNd aik
meN se aik BaRaa naam hai.
jahaaN tak meraa nazm ke havaale se pehchaane jaane kee baat hai tau mujhey ye kehte huve koyee aar maHsoos naheeN
hoti hai ke maiN abhee nazm likhnaa seekh rahi hooN. or to be very honest, mujhe nazm likhnaa abhee naheeN aati hai.
lekin mujhe apnee fikree parwaaz ke baare meN koyee shak naheeN hai aur aik vohi cheez hai jo mujhey hosla detee hai.
iss nazm ke baare ke baare meN aap ne buhat saheeN andaaza lagaayaa hai ke ye aik fikree tanhaayee kee taraf vaazeh ishaaarah
hai.
aap ne vazn ke havaale se jo baat kee hai, maiN uss se aagaah hooN, nazm ke 2nd aur 3rd baNd ke shuroo meN vazn ke
havaale se kuch masaa'il ho rahe thay aur maiN ne koshish kee ke qaaboo paa loon lekin aik rukn ne khaasaa pareshaan kiyaa,
shaayad kuch mazeed sochti tau ye masla hal ho jaataa. lekin maiN ne akcar baRe sho'raa kee nazm meN aisaa hotaa daikhaa/paRhaa hai,
aur aap ke Dawood Rizwan saahab kee nazm meN bhee maiN ne kayee baar ye cheez daihee hai,
lekin koyee shak nahi ke ye ghalati hai aur maiN iss ko durust karne kee koshish zaroor karooN gee.
misra baNdi kee baare meN sirf itnaa hi kehnaa ke janaab mujhe nazm likhnaa naheeN aati hai, nazm ke jo usool haiN, maiN un
se naavaaqif hooN. agar aap misra baNdi ke havaale se chaNd ehm nakaat bataa deN tau mere saath aur dostoN kaa bhee
bhalaa ho jaaye gaa.
iss ke saath saath mujhe khushee hai ke aap meree nazm kee gehraayee tak pahoNchane meN kaamyaab huve aur ise pasaNd farmaayaa.
waisey aap agar apne aap ko apne naam se saamne laayeN tau kyaa harj hai?
kyaa aap yaqeen kareN ge ke maiN jaanti hooN ke aap kon haiN?
shukriya
Naheed
sab say pehlay too ham mazirat khwah hain ka ham nay aap ki nazm par ray di. aap ki tahreer ki talkhi bata rahi hay kah aap koo hamara tanqeed karna pasand nahi aya.
chand batoon ki wazahat karna chahain gya. sab say pehlay too aap haimain nahi jantin. its dam sure.
2nd aap apni ghaltiyoon ka jawaz doosroon koo bana rahi hain joo qatan ghalt hay.
Dawood Rizwan sahib kia kisi bhi shair kay han is qisam ki auzan ki ghaltiyan na qabil a muafi hain. aur ham nay jinta thooRa buhat mutala kia hay us ki bina par kah saktay hain ka aap ki fehm ki kootahi hoo sakti hay.
ham nay Dawood Rizwan sahib ki kitab paRh rakhi hay aur us main kam az kam wazn ki koee ghalti nahi.
han aik wazahat aur karna chahain gay ka Dawood Rizwan hamaray nahi. agar hain too too batoor shair sab kay hain.
in forums par hamain Dawood aur aap almost aik hi pay kay shair lagtay hain aur ham un ki aur aap ki takhliqat koo baRi tawajoo say paRtay hain. shayri kay lihaz say too yahan par buhat say buhat acha likhnay walay moojood hain taham fikri toor par aap doonoon main haimain aik mumasital mehsoos hooti hay.
aap ghazal kahnay wali shiara hain is lay aap say too wazn ki ghalti ki qatan tawaqoo nahi ki ja sakti.
ham aap koo is nazm kay wazn kay silsalay main kuch tajaweez dayna chahtay thay lakin aap kay lehjay ki talkhi nay haiam rook dia hay.
wazn ki ghaltian sirf doosray aur teesray band main nahi hain.
aghaz hi main aik ghalti hay. mazeed aur bhi hian.
jahan tak ya mazrat hay ka aap nazm likhna jantin tajahil a arifana kia siwa aur kuch nahi.
khiyal koo aap nay buhat umdagi say bandha hay. wazn ki ghaltian aap ki fanni napukhtagi ay baRhay howay zum ka nateeja hoo sakti hian.
agar wazn main khamiyan na hoon too is poem koo koee bhi practicing poet ki namz nahi kah sakta.
mazeed kia likhain
bas muafi kay khwas gar hain
aap kee iss taveel note kaa jawaab denaa mere bus meN nahi hai, haaN aik baat kee vazaahat karti chalooN ke maiN aap ke tabsare se naaraaz bilkul naheeN hooN.
rahi ye baat ke maiN aap ko nahi jaanti tau mohtaram Poet saahab,
kabhee kisi ko underestimate naheeN karnaa chaahiye! kyoNke ba'z auqaat hum khud apne hi jaal meN phaNs jaate haiN
ab maiN aap ko yahaaN forum par kyaa kahooN, chaleN kabhee phir sahi!
jahaaN tak nazm ke vazn kee baat hai tau durse baNd kee pehli line maiN aik aur 3rd baNd kee pehlee line meiN aik rukn chooTaa hai, iss ke ilaawah vazn kee khaami kaheeN nahieeN hai. aap vazn par baat karnaa chaahate haiN tau bilaa shauq kijiye, mujhey koyee aiteraaz nahi hai.
maiN aap ke jawaab kee muntazir rahooN gee.
AH
Naheed
i dont under estimate any one. but mostly over estimate. so if u r sure u know me then u may keep ur confidence. this does not make any difference to me. but i am sure u dont know me as we have never been across before. and i was use to use different id. but this discussion is useless as we r conserned only with poetry
aur jahan tak wazn ka sawala hay too aap ki nazm bikul aghaz say hi bay wazn hay.
and now discussion on this poem is closed.
aap ki agali takhliq par bat hoo gi
aur jahan tak wazn ka sawala hay too aap ki nazm bikul aghaz say hi bay wazn hay.
and now discussion on this poem is closed.
aap ki agali takhliq par bat hoo gi
thanks much for the feed backpoet wrote:i dont under estimate any one. but mostly over estimate. so if u r sure u know me then u may keep ur confidence. this does not make any difference to me. but i am sure u dont know me as we have never been across before. and i was use to use different id. but this discussion is useless as we r conserned only with poetry
aur jahan tak wazn ka sawala hay too aap ki nazm bikul aghaz say hi bay wazn hay.
and now discussion on this poem is closed.
aap ki agali takhliq par bat hoo gi
BTW, maiN ne apnee 2 maqaamaat par jo vazn ke ghalatiyaaN theeN, unheN dursut kar liyaa hai:
1. teree khawaahish ke sire = teree aarzoo ke sab sire...
2. meraa saayah ban ke mere saath rehti hai = meraa saaya ban ke mere saath hi rehti hai
lekin kyaa aap siwaye in 2 maqaamaat ke jin ko maiN ne dursut kar liyaa hai, aap vazn kee ghalati nikaal kar bataa sakte haiN ke nazm aagaaz hi se kahaaN par BE.VAZN hai? aakhir ko ilm seekhne se hi tau aataa hai
again thanks alot!
Naheed
naheedv wrote:thanks much for the feed backpoet wrote:i dont under estimate any one. but mostly over estimate. so if u r sure u know me then u may keep ur confidence. this does not make any difference to me. but i am sure u dont know me as we have never been across before. and i was use to use different id. but this discussion is useless as we r conserned only with poetry
aur jahan tak wazn ka sawala hay too aap ki nazm bikul aghaz say hi bay wazn hay.
and now discussion on this poem is closed.
aap ki agali takhliq par bat hoo gi
BTW, maiN ne apnee 2 maqaamaat par jo vazn ke ghalatiyaaN theeN, unheN dursut kar liyaa hai:
1. teree khawaahish ke sire = teree aarzoo ke sab sire...
2. meraa saayah ban ke mere saath rehti hai = meraa saaya ban ke mere saath hi rehti hai
lekin kyaa aap siwaye in 2 maqaamaat ke jin ko maiN ne dursut kar liyaa hai, aap vazn kee ghalati nikaal kar bataa sakte haiN ke nazm aagaaz hi se kahaaN par BE.VAZN hai? aakhir ko ilm seekhne se hi tau aataa hai
again thanks alot!
Naheed
naheed sahiba adab.
wasy too lagta hay jab aap gussay main na hoon too kay aur hamaray khiyalat buhat miltay hain.
ham nay aap ki sari nazm darust kar li hay. idara tha ka post kar dain gay. lakin aap kay lehjay ki talkhi mehsoos kartay howay apna irada tark kar dia.
aap nay doo misroon main joo tabdiliyan ki hain ba ain hi ham nahi bhi wohi ki thin
ab aata hain aap kay pehlay misray ki traf too hairat kay siwa aur kar hi kia saktay hain. aap sirf apni ana kay sabab ikhtilaf farma rahi hain.
aap ki nazm ka pehla misra hay
"apnay aap say bichRay howay"
aap is ki taqtee farmaiy. agar mufaeetun kay wazn par hay too " apnay aap " mufaeelun kasay bana. agar sustafaeelun ka wazn par hay too "apnay aap say " mustafaeelun kasay bana.
aaga aap ki nazm kuch yoon shroo hoo
" khud apnay aap say bichRay howay"
too misra mufaeelun say shroo hoota hay aur nazm ka wazn mufaeelun ban jata hay.
ghoor zaroor farmay ga.
kuch aur bhi muqamat a aah o fugaN hain
aap ki tawajoo chahtay hain.
aajiz koo ijazat
janaab Poet saahab,poet wrote:naheedv wrote:thanks much for the feed backpoet wrote:i dont under estimate any one. but mostly over estimate. so if u r sure u know me then u may keep ur confidence. this does not make any difference to me. but i am sure u dont know me as we have never been across before. and i was use to use different id. but this discussion is useless as we r conserned only with poetry
aur jahan tak wazn ka sawala hay too aap ki nazm bikul aghaz say hi bay wazn hay.
and now discussion on this poem is closed.
aap ki agali takhliq par bat hoo gi
BTW, maiN ne apnee 2 maqaamaat par jo vazn ke ghalatiyaaN theeN, unheN dursut kar liyaa hai:
1. teree khawaahish ke sire = teree aarzoo ke sab sire...
2. meraa saayah ban ke mere saath rehti hai = meraa saaya ban ke mere saath hi rehti hai
lekin kyaa aap siwaye in 2 maqaamaat ke jin ko maiN ne dursut kar liyaa hai, aap vazn kee ghalati nikaal kar bataa sakte haiN ke nazm aagaaz hi se kahaaN par BE.VAZN hai? aakhir ko ilm seekhne se hi tau aataa hai
again thanks alot!
Naheed
naheed sahiba adab.
wasy too lagta hay jab aap gussay main na hoon too kay aur hamaray khiyalat buhat miltay hain.
ham nay aap ki sari nazm darust kar li hay. idara tha ka post kar dain gay. lakin aap kay lehjay ki talkhi mehsoos kartay howay apna irada tark kar dia.
aap nay doo misroon main joo tabdiliyan ki hain ba ain hi ham nahi bhi wohi ki thin
ab aata hain aap kay pehlay misray ki traf too hairat kay siwa aur kar hi kia saktay hain. aap sirf apni ana kay sabab ikhtilaf farma rahi hain.
aap ki nazm ka pehla misra hay
"apnay aap say bichRay howay"
aap is ki taqtee farmaiy. agar mufaeetun kay wazn par hay too " apnay aap " mufaeelun kasay bana. agar sustafaeelun ka wazn par hay too "apnay aap say " mustafaeelun kasay bana.
aaga aap ki nazm kuch yoon shroo hoo
" khud apnay aap say bichRay howay"
too misra mufaeelun say shroo hoota hay aur nazm ka wazn mufaeelun ban jata hay.
ghoor zaroor farmay ga.
kuch aur bhi muqamat a aah o fugaN hain
aap ki tawajoo chahtay hain.
aajiz koo ijazat
sab se pehle tau ye kahooN gee ke meree nazm kaa vazn :maf.oo.laa.t: hai jisey gitigal composition meN :2221: tasavvur kiyaa jaataa hai.
ab aap iss vazn meN meree nazm ko daikheN aur mujhe bataayeN ke ye kahaaN behr se khaarij hai.
buhat shukriya
Naheed