:: aaKhir is dard ki dawaa kyaa hai ? :: ( t^araHi Ghazal )

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

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Star Mind
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:: aaKhir is dard ki dawaa kyaa hai ? :: ( t^araHi Ghazal )

Post by Star Mind »

yaaran-e-meHfil , aadaab

aaj hi meHfil-e-suKhan k pehle mushaai'ra maiN Ghalib ka ye miSra' " aaKhir is dar ki dawaa kyaa hai" diyaa gayaa thaa , so maiN ne aek adnaa si Ghazal keh Daali , ummed hai k apnee aaraa , tanqeed se nawaazeNge ! shukriya

to lejeye Ghazal Haazir hai !

1.

Khaak maiN dil sa keemiyaa kyaa hai ?
ye junooN mera aye Khudaa kyaa hai ? :roll:

2.

dil ! bataa , i'shq ki sazaa kyaa hai ?
"aaKhir is dard ki dawaa kyaa hai ? :x

3.

saaNs lene ka maajaraa kyaa hai ?
zindagee ! tera muddaa'aa kyaa hai ? :smt120

4.

aye falak ! naala-e-rasaa kyaa hai?
a'ql ki Had se maa waraa kyaa hai? :roll:

5.

nargisee aaNkh maiN chhupaa kyaa hai ?
jaan lene ki ye adaa kyaa hai ? :smt120

6.

lab pe aatee hai jo , fuGhaaN kyaa hai ?
aasmaaN-geer ye Sadaa kyaa hai ? :roll:

7.

i'shq key imteHaaN se guzre haiN
ham se pochhe koii wafaa kyaa hai ! :-)

8.

gul ! bataa muskuraa rahe ho kyoN ? :roll:
ye Sabaa ne tujhe kahaa kyaa hai ? :D

9.

saaNs kheNchoN to aag lagtee hai :cry:
rab hi jaane mujhe howaa kyaa hai ! :x

10.

baRhti jaatee hai tishnagee teree ! :evil:
shauq-e-dil ! teri intehaa kyaa hai ? :roll:

11.

daastaan-e-Khaleel se seekho !
i'shq maiN jalne kaa mazaa kyaa hai !

12.

teri shuhrat hai faiZ^-e-i'shq :Zia: ! :D :C
warna tuu kyaa , tiree nawaa kyaa hai :x

.............................................................................

ummed hai k apnee aaraa se nawaazeNge ! shukriya !

moKhliS :

Zia Baloch
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki

Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne

Zia Baloch
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Abdullah Nazir
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Bahut khoob,

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtarami o Azeezi
Zia Baloch Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
[/b]


1.

Khaak maiN dil sa keemiyaa kyaa hai ?
ye junooN mera aye Khudaa kyaa hai ?

2.

dil ! bataa , i'shq ki sazaa kyaa hai ?
"aaKhir is dard ki dawaa kyaa hai ?

3.

saaNs lene ka maajaraa kyaa hai ?
zindagee ! tera muddaa'aa kyaa hai ? :smt120

4.

aye falak ! naala-e-rasaa kyaa hai?
a'ql ki Had se maa waraa kyaa hai?

5.

nargisee aaNkh maiN chhupaa kyaa hai ?
jaan lene ki ye adaa kyaa hai ? :smt120

6.

lab pe aatee hai jo , fuGhaaN kyaa hai ?
aasmaaN-geer ye Sadaa kyaa hai ?

7.

i'shq key imteHaaN se guzre haiN
ham se pochhe koii wafaa kyaa hai !

8.

gul ! bataa muskuraa rahe ho kyoN ?
ye Sabaa ne tujhe kahaa kyaa hai ? :D

9.

saaNs kheNchoN to aag lagtee hai
rab hi jaane mujhe howaa kyaa hai !

10.

baRhti jaatee hai tishnagee teree !
shauq-e-dil ! teri intehaa kyaa hai ?

11.

daastaan-e-Khaleel se seekho !
i'shq maiN jalne kaa mazaa kyaa hai !

12.

teri shuhrat hai faiZ^-e-i'shq :Zia: ! :D :C
warna tuu kyaa , tiree nawaa kyaa hai



Aapke maTleA ke pahle miSreA meiN "dil saa kemiyaa" se yooN zaahir houtaa hei ke aap keemiyaa ke lafz ko muzakkar baandh rahe heiN jou ghalaT hei. Dil sii keemiyaa hounaa chaahiye.

SheAr No.6 ke pahle miSreA meiN "fughaaN" badlaa houaa hei. Is liye miSreA ko yooN badal sakte heiN "lab pah aataa hei jo gilaa kyaa hei"

SheAr No.8 ke pahle miSreA meiN gul bataa se muraad mukhaatibat aek se he aur muskuraarahe hou se muraad jamA kii hei. Is liye is miSreA ko yhooN karsakte heiN "gul, bataa muskuraarahaa hei kiyuN"

Baaqi ashAar bahut hii achche heiN. Dobaarah mubaarakbaad.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
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Shummu
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Post by Shummu »

saaNs lene ka maajaraa kyaa hai ?
zindagee ! tera muddaa'aa kyaa hai ? :smt120

nargisee aaNkh maiN chhupaa kyaa hai ?
jaan lene ki ye adaa kyaa hai ? :smt120

lab pe aatee hai jo , fuGhaaN kyaa hai ?
aasmaaN-geer ye Sadaa kyaa hai ? :roll:

i'shq key imteHaaN se guzre haiN
ham se pochhe koii wafaa kyaa hai ! :-)

gul ! bataa muskuraa rahee ho kyoN ? :roll:
ye Sabaa ne tujhe kahaa kyaa hai ? :D

saaNs kheNchoN to aag lagtee hai :cry:
rab hi jaane mujhe howaa kyaa hai ! :x

baRhti jaatee hai tishnagee teree ! :evil:
shauq-e-dil ! teri intehaa kyaa hai ? :roll:

teri shuhrat hai faiZ^-e-i'shq :Zia: ! :D :C
warna tuu kyaa , tiree nawaa kyaa hai :x [/color]

wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kya zabardast ghazal kahi hai aur woh bhi itni jaldi.....bahut khoob.. bahut achche mazmoon baandhe hain..dil khush ho gaya...dher saari daad haazir hai zia sahab :)

Shumaila

Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai

Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
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Star Mind
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Post by Star Mind »

moHtarami A.Nazir SaaHib, aadaab

aap ki zarra-nawaazi hai Huzoor ! nehaayat mamnoon hoN, aap se bohut seekhaa hai maiN ne , aur inshaa Allah seekhtaa rahoNga ! aap ka tah-e-dil se mamnoon hoN k aap ne KhaamiyoN ki nishaandahee farmaayee ! ummed hai k ye silsila jaaree rahega ! shukriya

moKhliS :

Zia Baloch
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki

Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne

Zia Baloch
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Anmol
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Post by Anmol »

Zia Baloch wrote:yaaran-e-meHfil , aadaab

Jeete rahiyye. :grin:

aaj hi meHfil-e-suKhan k pehle mushaai'ra maiN Ghalib ka ye miSra' " aaKhir is dar ki dawaa kyaa hai" diyaa gayaa thaa , so maiN ne aek adnaa si Ghazal keh Daali , ummed hai k apnee aaraa , tanqeed se nawaazeNge ! shukriya

Adnaa si ghazal aur aap? Dono baateN apas meiN mail nahiN khaa raheeN. :-)

to lejeye Ghazal Haazir hai !

1.

Khaak maiN dil sa keemiyaa kyaa hai ?
ye junooN mera aye Khudaa kyaa hai ? :roll:

Bohot khoob...JunooN to muhabbat ka aala'tareen darja hay, is liye ye junooN aap ko mubarak ho. :-)

2.

dil ! bataa , i'shq ki sazaa kyaa hai ?
"aaKhir is dard ki dawaa kyaa hai ? :x

Ishq koi jurm to nahiN k jis ki saza poochi jaye, wese, poochne ki zarurat nahiN paRti, saza to aap hi milna shru ho jati hay. :( aur is ishq ke marz ki koi dawa nahiN hoti sahib!!

Ishq se tabiyat ne zeest ka maza paya
dard ki dawa payee, dard-e-laa'dawa paya

Sach poochoye to is dard ki dawa poochte sab heN, lekin is dard se chuTkaara koi nahiN chaahta. Kisi shaayir ne kya khoob kaha hay,

Sare shehr ke tabeeb mujhe de chuke jawaab
MaiN beemaar-e-ishq huN, mujhe accha na kijiye :-)

3.

saaNs lene ka maajaraa kyaa hai ?
zindagee ! tera mudda'aa kyaa hai ? :smt120

Bohot Khoob...lekin saans lene ka muaajra na poochiye sahib!! Saans to sab aadatan lete heN, jeena har kisi k bus ki baat nahiN. "Zindagi zinda'dili ka naam hay".

Dua hay k aap zinda'diloN ki taraH jiyeN aur zindagi ki sab khushyaaN payeN, ameen. :-)

5.

nargisee aaNkh maiN chhupaa kyaa hai ?
jaan lene ki ye adaa kyaa hai ? :smt120

Bohot Khoob. :wink: :wink:

6.

lab pe aatee hai jo , fuGhaaN kyaa hai ?
aasmaaN-geer ye Sadaa kyaa hai ? :roll:

Bohot Khoob..

7.

i'shq key imteHaaN se guzre haiN
ham se pochhe koii wafaa kyaa hai ! :-)

Bohot Khoob..

:wink: ImtehaaN meiN kaamyab ho gaye kya? Kitne marks aaye? :D Aray abhi to aap exam de kar thake hue beThe heN aur hum phir se sawaal-o-jawaab shru kar deN? (wese is sawaal ka jawab to hameN Khud bhi acchi taraH maloom hay!!!!) :evil: Btw, "Abhi ishq ke imtihaaN aur bhi heN"!

8.

gul ! bataa muskuraa rahe ho kyoN ? :roll:
ye Sabaa ne tujhe kahaa kyaa hai ? :D

muskura rahe ho>>>>> muskura raha hay

:wink: Aik to aap ki ye adat acchi nahiN, baat baat per sawaal karte heN, ab bhala gul aur saba ki aapas ki guftugu bhi aap k liye janna zaruri hay? :evil:

9.

saaNs kheNchoN to aag lagtee hai :cry:
rab hi jaane mujhe howaa kyaa hai ! :x

:( Ye to waqaee Rab hi jaane.

10.

baRhti jaatee hai tishnagee teree ! :evil:
shauq-e-dil ! teri intehaa kyaa hai ? :roll:

Bohot Khoob..

11.

daastaan-e-Khaleel se seekho !
i'shq maiN jalne kaa mazaa kyaa hai !

Bohot Khoob....Wese is sher ko paRh kar aik baat zehen meiN aati hay, woh yeh k Hazrat IBrahim (A.S.) us aag meiN koode zaroor they lekin woh aag un k liye gulzaar kar di gayi hay. Yani woh us aag meiN jalne k liye tayyar they lekin jale to nahiN they, Is liye agar aap "daastaan-e-Khaleel" k bajaye kuch aur kehte, masalan:

Kaash Hubb-e-Khaleel se seekho
Ishq meiN jalne ka maza kya hay

or something like that....its just a suggestion.. :-) Wese aap ka sher already bohot accha hay.

12.

teri shuhrat hai faiZ^-e-i'shq :Zia: ! :D :C
warna tuu kyaa , tiree nawaa kyaa hai :x

Dayaar-e-ishq meiN apna maqaam peda kar.. :wink:

Maqta bohot Khoob hay, btw aap ye na poochiye k aap kya heN,,,kahiN hum bata hi na deN. :twisted: :wink:

Zia, taraHee misre per bohot Khoobsoorat ghazal likhi hay aap ne. Aik aik sher nageena hay, meri jaanib se daad aur mubarakbaad dono pesh heN. :-)

Best regards,
ANMOL


.............................................................................

ummed hai k apnee aaraa se nawaazeNge ! shukriya !

moKhliS :

Zia Baloch
My Poetry Website>> http://www.tanhaa.net/anmol

A site for Raj Kumar Sahib>> http://rk-qais.bravehost.com
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