Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak...meri taza ghazal

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

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jawaid badauni
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Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak...meri taza ghazal

Post by jawaid badauni »

Membran-e Urdubandhan ko mera Salam,

Yeh Ghazal ek tarhee mushaireh ke liye haal hi meN kahi thee. Ummid hai aap ko pasaNd aayegi aur apne graNqadr tabsare se nawazeNge.

Aapka Mukhlis,

Jawaid Badauni
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak, shab-e-hijraaN kab tak?"


Gham-e hasti gham-e dauran gham-e janaN kab tak?
"Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak, shab-e-hijraaN kab tak?"

Aaye ik rashk-e baharaN to ise chaak karooN
Haath meN baiTha rahooN leke greebaN kab tak?

Kab hayaa aayegi ai maghribi tahzeeb tujhe?
Sare bazaar phiregi yooN hi uryaaN kab tak?

Dhal gayee raat magar teeragi-e shab na gayee
Subha ke noor ko tarse ga gulistaaN kab tak?

Hai woh insaaN to kabhi uska bhi jagega zameer
AaKhir ik ahl-e qalam bechega eemaN kab tak?

Ab to lillaah bataa de mujhe ai haakim-e waqt
BastiyaN looTeNge basti ke nigahbaaN kab tak?

Yeh to ik choTi see lagzish se chalaa jata hai
Tum se :Jawaid: saNbahl paayega eemaN kab tak?


Jawaid Badauni
Muscat - Oman
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khozema husaini
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Re: Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak...meri taza ghazal

Post by khozema husaini »

jawaid badauni wrote:Membran-e Urdubandhan ko mera Salam,

Yeh Ghazal ek tarhee mushaireh ke liye haal hi meN kahi thee. Ummid hai aap ko pasaNd aayegi aur apne graNqadr tabsare se nawazeNge.

Aapka Mukhlis,

Jawaid Badauni
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak, shab-e-hijraaN kab tak?"

janaab jawaid badauni saheb

aadaab

aapki ghazal se lutf andoz huaa sabhi ashaar behad khoobsoorat hen meri janib se dili daad pesh e khidmat he
husaini


Gham-e hasti gham-e dauran gham-e janaN kab tak?
"Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak, shab-e-hijraaN kab tak?"

Aaye ik rashk-e baharaN to ise chaak karooN
Haath meN baiTha rahooN leke greebaN kab tak?

Kab hayaa aayegi ai maghribi tahzeeb tujhe?
Sare bazaar phiregi yooN hi uryaaN kab tak?

Dhal gayee raat magar teeragi-e shab na gayee
Subha ke noor ko tarse ga gulistaaN kab tak?

Hai woh insaaN to kabhi uska bhi jagega zameer
AaKhir ik ahl-e qalam bechega eemaN kab tak?

Ab to lillaah bataa de mujhe ai haakim-e waqt
BastiyaN looTeNge basti ke nigahbaaN kab tak?

Yeh to ik choTi see lagzish se chalaa jata hai
Tum se :Jawaid: saNbahl paayega eemaN kab tak?


Jawaid Badauni
Muscat - Oman
hum husaini duAa ki deN soGHaat
laakh chahay bura karay koee

husaini
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Abdullah Nazir
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Aapki ghazal pasand aayi

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


Muhtarami
Jawaid Badaayooni Saahib,


Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,


"Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak, shab-e-hijraaN kab tak?"

Mandarja-e-baalaa TaraHi misreA per aapki ghazal pasand aayi.


1) Gham-e hasti gham-e dauran gham-e janaN kab tak?
"Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak, shab-e-hijraaN kab tak?"

MatleA kaa pahlaa misraA aap ne TaraHi misreA per girah ke Taur per isteAmaal kiyaa hei jo is se bahut behtar housaktaa thaa.

2) Aaye ik rashk-e baharaN to ise chaak karooN
Haath meN baiTha rahooN leke greebaN kab tak?

Iske doosre misreA ko yooN behtar banaayaa jaasaktaa tha:
Le ke baiTha raahuN haathaoN meiN girebaaN kab tak.

3) Kab hayaa aayegi ai maghribi tahzeeb tujhe?
Sare bazaar phiregi yooN hi uryaaN kab tak?

Jee yeh maghribi tehzeeb kii Akkasi hei.

4) Dhal gayee raat magar teeragi-e shab na gayee
Subha ke noor ko tarse ga gulistaaN kab tak?

Pahlaa misraA laajavaab hei. Waise sheAr bhi achchaa hei.

5) Hai woh insaaN to kabhi uska bhi jagega zameer
AaKhir ik ahl-e qalam bechega eemaN kab tak?

Yeh bhii theek hei.

6) Ab to lillaah bataa de mujhe ai haakim-e waqt
BastiyaN looTeNge basti ke nigahbaaN kab tak?

Yeh bhii achchaa hei.

7) Yeh to ik choTi see lagzish se chalaa jata hai
Tum se :Jawaid: saNbahl paayega eemaN kab tak?

Yeh sheAr tou theek hei lekin mafhoom ke lihaaz se kuch kamzouri hei is meiN. Mazhabi ahl-e-ilm kaa qaul hei "Al-ieemanu yazeedu wa yanqusu" yani ieemaan qaul o amal ke lihaaz se ziyaadah aur kam houtaa hei. Chouti sii laghzish se zaayiA nahiN houjaataa. "laa taqnaToo min rahmatillahe" Allah kii rehmat se maayoos nah houN.
=====

MajmooAi Taur per aapki ghazal pasand aayi. Daad aur mubaarakbaad Haazir hei.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Last edited by Abdullah Nazir on Mon Jan 31, 2005 12:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Shummu
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Post by Shummu »

wah wah wahhhhhhhh bahut hi aa'laa ghazal pesh ki hai aapne Jawaid sahab is tarahi misre pe..ek ek sher nageena hai...mujhe bahut zyaada pasand aayi aap ki ghazal..dheron daad haazir hai..qubool farmaayeiN :)

Mukhlis,
Shumaila

Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai

Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
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Mahtab Qadr
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Re: Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak...meri taza ghazal

Post by Mahtab Qadr »

jawaid badauni wrote:Membran-e Urdubandhan ko mera Salam,

Yeh Ghazal ek tarhee mushaireh ke liye haal hi meN kahi thee. Ummid hai aap ko pasaNd aayegi aur apne graNqadr tabsare se nawazeNge.

Aapka Mukhlis,

Jawaid Badauni
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak, shab-e-hijraaN kab tak?"


Gham-e hasti gham-e dauran gham-e janaN kab tak?
"Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak, shab-e-hijraaN kab tak?"

Aaye ik rashk-e baharaN to ise chaak karooN
Haath meN baiTha rahooN leke greebaN kab tak?

Kab hayaa aayegi ai maghribi tahzeeb tujhe?
Sare bazaar phiregi yooN hi uryaaN kab tak?

Dhal gayee raat magar teeragi-e shab na gayee
Subha ke noor ko tarse ga gulistaaN kab tak?

Hai woh insaaN to kabhi uska bhi jagega zameer
AaKhir ik ahl-e qalam bechega eemaN kab tak?

Ab to lillaah bataa de mujhe ai haakim-e waqt
BastiyaN looTeNge basti ke nigahbaaN kab tak?

Yeh to ik choTi see lagzish se chalaa jata hai
Tum se :Jawaid: saNbahl paayega eemaN kab tak?


Jawaid Badauni
Muscat - Oman

Mohatrami Jawaid sahib
Tasleemat
Bahut Umda ghazal ke sath tashreefaawari ka shukria ,

Gham-e hasti gham-e dauran gham-e janaN kab tak?
"Ghaflat-e-yaar kahaaN tak, shab-e-hijraaN kab tak?"
Matla bhi khoob hai waah wah.

Aaye ik rashk-e baharaN to ise chaak karooN
Haath meN baiTha rahooN leke greebaN kab tak?
wah waah..khoob aur Bhair Abdullah Nazir ka mashwara bhi pasand aaya.

Kab hayaa aayegi ai maghribi tahzeeb tujhe?
Sare bazaar phiregi yooN hi uryaaN kab tak?
aray bhai aapne to dil khush kardia ye kahkar, Akbar ne to apni qaum ka roona roya tha ke kab tak beparda phireiNgi aaj agar akbar hote to pata nahi kia kahte.

Dhal gayee raat magar teeragi-e shab na gayee
Subha ke noor ko tarse ga gulistaaN kab tak?
waah waah bahut khoob.


Hai woh insaaN to kabhi uska bhi jagega zameer
AaKhir ik ahl-e qalam bechega eemaN kab tak?
waah kia baat kahi hai , kisi ne kaha hai aur sach kaha hai ke
qalam dabe ga to ek raat zahr booyegi
qalam bikega to ek nasl khoon royeegi

Ab to lillaah bataa de mujhe ai haakim-e waqt
BastiyaN looTeNge basti ke nigahbaaN kab tak?
ye to hata raha hai aut hota rahega, jabtak eimandari hukmranoN mai nahi aaigi. sher bahut acha hai.

Yeh to ik choTi see lagzish se chalaa jata hai
Tum se :Jawaid: saNbahl paayega eemaN kab tak?
bahut ahm baat kahi hai aajke daur mai eiman ko sambhal ke lechalna bhi aik karamat hai.


umeed ke aap apni taza ghazloN se isi tarah nawazte raheiNge.
shukria
Mahtab Qadr
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