Taslemaat
Pakistan aour India mein zalzalay ki bepanah tabahi mein merney walon per jo qiymat guzri us ka andaza lagana mushkil he, lekin bachney walon ke chehray iss baat ki gawahi zaroor hein keh unhon ne moat ko barhey qareeb se dekha he. Unhein ke uthey haath meri is nazm ke wajood ka ba'iss hooay. Pesh-e-khidmat he .... Munajat
Steve Almas
MUNAJAT
Hazaron haath uthay hein dooa ko
Khud kerday moaf aik ik khata ko
Tabbaahi rok de insaniat ki
karam ker taal de her ik bala ko
Ghazab maalik tira makhlooq per kiuon
Jo saadar ker diya hukm-e-saza ko
Kahein toofan kahein per zalzalay hein
Hooa kiya he zamaney ki hawa ko
Sunaami aour Katreena -o- Reeta
Diye kuch naam marg-e- inteha ko
Yeh manzar moat ka dekha na jaaye
Koi poochey ke soojha kiya khuda ko
Keh abb iss zalzalay ko naam kiya dein
Karein kaisey mukhatib kaj adda ko
Hain ujrhay shehr aour barbaad gaaon
Yeh pal bhar mein hooa kiya uss jaga ko
Yahein per zindagi thi kho gayi he
Chalo dhoondhein zara uss bevafa ko
Koi bebas he apnon se bicharh ker
Kisi ne kho diya he hamnawa ko
Tiri kudrat pe kis ka zoar yaarab
Milaye khaak mein shah-o-gadda ko
Tiri rehmat mein abb bhi kiya kami he
Karam ker bakhsh de tark-e-vafa ko
Sawali ban ke he ALMAS hazir
Zara sun le ghamon ki iss sadda ko
Last edited by Steve Almas on Sat Oct 29, 2005 2:23 pm, edited 3 times in total.
aap ne Haqeeqat meN doob ker bohat khoobsurtee se likhaa hai
aik nehaayat pur acar teHreer aur pur acar andaaz
Allah es maiN ki ga'ee tamaam duaaiN qabuul fermaaey.aameen
Jazakomullaho Khairaa kaceeran kaceeraa
wassalam
Tahira Ji
Pur Khuloos Tasleemat
Aajkal Zindagi ko aik se aik mushkil ka samna he, Lagta he keh yeh pichley chand mah insaniyat per bhari chal rahey hein, aour hamarey pass dooa ke ilawa chara hi kiya he. Aap ki dooayein bhi qabool hon aour zalzaley ke mutaserein apney ghamon ko bhula ker aik naye azm ke saath apna safar jari ker payein.
aap ne Haqeeqat meN doob ker bohat khoobsurtee se likhaa hai
aik nehaayat pur acar teHreer aur pur acar andaaz
Allah es maiN ki ga'ee tamaam duaaiN qabuul fermaaey.aameen
Jazakomullaho Khairaa kaceeran kaceeraa
wassalam
Tahira Ji
Pur Khuloos Tasleemat
Aajkal Zindagi ko aik se aik mushkil ka samna he, Lagta he keh yeh pichley chand mah insaniyat per bhari chal rahey hein, aour hamarey pass dooa ke ilawa chara hi kiya he. Aap ki dooayein bhi qabool hon aour zalzaley ke mutaserein apney ghamon ko bhula ker aik naye azm ke saath apna safar jari ker payein.
sach kaha aapne Allah ta'ala zaroor naraaz hogaye hain.... aapka kalaam bohat asar angaiz hai aur hum sab bhi duago hain un sab bhai behanon aur bachon ke liye.
aapki tehreer bohat pasand aayi aapne to sab hi ka zikr kiya hai. bohat khoob!
isi mauzzu per Dr. Baland Iqbal ki nazm bhi urdubandhan ke homepage per lagi hai zaroor dekhiyega.
bohat shukriya .
sara
Sara Ji
Aadab
Hasb-e ma'mool aap ke alfaz ache lagey, Zalzaley ki tabahi her zi rooh insaan ke liye aik bardasht se bahir khabar thi, hamarey muqami akhbaar mein aik tasweer thi jis mein logon ke sirf hathon ka close up diya gaya tha, halankeh woh haath relief ki hasooli ke liye barhey they, lekin mein ney unhein iss nazriye se liya. So iss tarah se iss nazm ki takhleeq hooi, pasand aaney ka shukriya. mein ne homepage ki nazm bhi parhi he, Shukriya
Aapki kahi houi munaajaat paRhne ki koushish meiN kaamyaab nah housakaa kiyunkeh image file khul nahiN saki. Agar is ke saath Roman meiN bhii likhkhaa houaa houtaa tou aasaani houjaati. Aajkal Aaam Taur per yehi mushkil pesh aarahi hei.
Ummeed ke aayindah aap bhi urdu version ke saath roman meiN bhi likh diyaa karenge.
Aapki kahi houi munaajaat paRhne ki koushish meiN kaamyaab nah housakaa kiyunkeh image file khul nahiN saki. Agar is ke saath Roman meiN bhii likhkhaa houaa houtaa tou aasaani houjaati. Aajkal Aaam Taur per yehi mushkil pesh aarahi hei.
Ummeed ke aayindah aap bhi urdu version ke saath roman meiN bhi likh diyaa karenge.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Janaab Nazir Saahab
Aadab
Aapke hukm ke mutabiq Roman version bhi shaamil ker diya he, Umeed he abh mushkil na rahe gi. Page mein aap ne dekha hoga ke mohtramma Tahira Ji ka jawab do martaba post hooa he, dar asl pehli baar submit kerney per kafi der intezar ke bavajood kuch nahein hooa to mein ne stop kerke dobaara click kiya to yeh dekha keh aik post do baar aa gayi. Kabhi kabhi page per mushkilat aati hein, jaisey ke date hamesha aik hi chal rahi he 6. 6. 2005. agar hosake to Tahira ji ki aik jawabi post ko delete kerdein to mashkoor hoonga.
Roman meiN apni munaajaat likhne ke liye shukriyah. Mazaameen bahut achche heiN, jinke liye meri daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
Pahle sheAr ke doosre miSreA meiN Harf meem ke ba'd wawo nahiN hei. Is liye behtar hei ke aap us miSreA ko yooN kardeN:
khudaa karde muAaaf aek ik khaTaa ko
yaa jaisaa bhii aap munaasib samjheN.
Doosre sheAr ke pahle miSreA meiN "tabahi rok le" kii bajaye "tabahi rok de" hounaa chaahiye aur us ke doosre miSreA meiN lafz "raham" kii bajaye "raiHm" hounaa chaahiye yani Harf "Hai" per sukoon hei. Is liye lafz "raham" kii bajaye "karam" kerdeejiye tou sheAr saHeeH houjayegaa.
SheAr 6 ke doosre miSreA meiN ibaarat kii ghalaTi hei "koii pooche zaraa jaaker khudaa se" hounaa chaahiye is liye aap is miSreA ko yooN karsakte heiN:
koii pooche ke soojhaa kyaa khudaa ko;
yaa aap jaisaa bhii munaasib samjheN.
SheAr 8 ke pahle miSreA meiN lafz "shehr" hounaa chaahiye is liye isko yooN karsakte heiN:
heiN ujRe shehr aur barbaad gaaouN
aur doosre miSreA ko yooN kerdeejiye:
Yeh pal bhar mein hooa uss jagh kiya hei
kiyunkeh lafz "jaga" nahiN balkeh "jagh" hei.
Baaqi ashAaar munaasib heiN.
Is kaamyhaab kaavish per khaaksar kii daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Mohtram Nazir Saahab
Pur Khuloos Aadab
Mujhey sab se pehley tasleem yeh kerna he keh Roman likhney mein mujhey dastras nahein, iss liye agar koi cheez nagwar, ya sahi na lage to moafi ka khwastgar hoon. Aapke behtreen mashwarey ke mutabiq chand aik tabdeeliyan ki hein, zara dekh lijiye ga. Apna khayal rakhiye ga.
Shukriya
