GHAZAL: koochah koochah, nagar nagar dekh`aa!

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

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Sarwar A. Raz
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GHAZAL: koochah koochah, nagar nagar dekh`aa!

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

yaaraan-e-bazm: aadaab!

Khwaajah Mir "Dard" kaa mash,hoor she'r hai:

un laboN ne nah kee maseeHaayee
ham ne sau sau t^araH se mar dekh`aa!

is zameen aur beHr meN maiN ne bh`ee t^aba'-aazmaayee kee hai jo aap kee naZr kar rahaa hooN. dekh`iYe kisee qaabil bh`ee hai keh naheeN. aap kee raaYe kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. shukriyah!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

-------------------------------
koochah koochah, nagar nagar dekh`aa
Khud meN dekh`aa use agar dekh`aa

qiSSah-e-zeest muKhtaSar dekh`aa
jaise ik Khwaab raat bh`ar dekh`aa

dar hee dekh`aa nah too ne gh`ar dekh`aa
zindagee! tujh` ko Khoob kar dekh`aa!

rezah rezah umeed-o-armaaN th`e
paarah paarah dil-o-jigar dekh`aa

koyee Hasrat nah is ke ba'd rahee
us ko Hasrat se ik naz^ar dekh`aa

Haal-e-dil apnaa deedanee kab th`aa?
dekh`te kaise? haaN! magar dekh`aa!

ham ko dair-o-Haram se kyaa nisbat?
us ko dil meN hee jalwah-gar dekh`aa

dard meN, ranj-o-Gham meN, HirmaaN meN
aap ko ham ne dar-ba-dar dekh`aa

sach kaho bazm-e-she'r meN tum ne
koyee "Sarwar" saa be-hunar dekh`aa?
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yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

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waah waah kyaa kehne

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz. :Sarwar SaaHib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

koochah koochah, nagar nagar dekh`aa
Khud meN dekh`aa use agar dekh`aa

Bahut khoob maTlaA hei. Pahli martabah dekh rahaa hooN ke aap ne bhi ieeTaay-e-khafi ke baare meiN tasaahul se kaam liyaa hei aur Shamsurrahmaan Farooqi ke nuqta-e-nazar ko apnaayaa hei ke ieeTaay-e-khafi koii cheez nahiN. :idea:

qiSSah-e-zeest muKhtaSar dekh`aa
jaise ik Khwaab raat bh`ar dekh`aa


jee, zindagi ko mukhtaSar dekhanaa is iAtibaar se saHeeH hei ke zimmedaariyaoN ki uljhanaoN meiN waqt kistaraH se guzraa iskaa eHsaas nah housakaa. "Subh houti hei shaam houti hei.....Umr yooN hi tamaam houti hei".

dar hee dekh`aa nah too ne gh`ar dekh`aa
zindagee! tujh` ko Khoob kar dekh`aa!


Zindagi karnaa wo bhii dar aur ghar kaa liHaaz kiye baghair yeh tou meraa apnaa zaati Amali tajribah hei. Is liye yeh sheAr mujhe bahut pasand aayaa.

rezah rezah umeed-o-armaaN th`e
paarah paarah dil-o-jigar dekh`aa


Waah, raah-e-shauq meiN naakaamiy-e-tamanna kaa zikr aap ne kis khoobSoorati se kiyaa hei. :-)

koyee Hasrat nah is ke ba'd rahee
us ko Hasrat se ik naz^ar dekh`aa


Aek baar ki Hasrat bhari nigaah ne aapko muTma'in kardiyaa warnah loag tou kehte heiN "aek baar dekhaa hei aur doosri baar dekhne ki havas hei".

Haal-e-dil apnaa deedanee kab th`aa?
dekh`te kaise? haaN! magar dekh`aa!


Bahut achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah. Kyaa kehne doosre miSreA ke. "dekhte kaise haaN magar dekhaa."

ham ko dair-o-Haram se kyaa nisbat?
us ko dil meN hee jalwah-gar dekh`aa


Aisi shaayeraanah fikr zamaane se chali aarahi hei jiskaa maqSad insaani taAalluqaat ki ehmiyat zaahir karnaa hei. Is se kisi mazhab ke aadami ko ikhtilaaf nahiN kiyunkeh her mazhab kaa yehi paighaam houtaa hei. Nazari ikhtilaaf ki bunyaad per insaani baahami dousti per aanch nahiN aani chaahiye. Ye alag baat hei ke kyaa is shaayeraanah falsafeh ko her qaaree samajh saktaa hei yaa nahiN!!! :?:

dard meN, ranj-o-Gham meN, HirmaaN meN
aap ko ham ne dar-ba-dar dekh`aa


Khud ko dar-ba-dar dekhaa, se baat vazeH hougayi keh shaayer ne kitni pareshaaniyaoN kaa saamnaa kiyaa hei. Waah kyaa khoob andaaz-e-bayaan hei. :-)

[/u]sach kaho bazm-e-she'r meN tum ne
koyee "Sarwar" saa be-hunar dekh`aa?

Baat jab sach kehne ki hei tou Sarwar SaaHib, maiN ne to aap jaise baa-hunar bahut hi kam dekhe heiN. Yeh bilkul sach hei keh khud ko hameshah Taalib-e-ilm hii samajhnaa chaahiye lekin aap ne Had se ziyaadah inkisaari se kaam liyaa hei. Allah aapko maA-e-ahl o Ayaal ke khush o khurram rakhkhe. :-)

Dobaarah aapki is dilkash ghazal per dili daad aur mubaarakbaad pesh kartaa hooN.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.



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Post by jawaid badauni »

Mohtarmee Sarwar SaHab,
Aadaab qubool kijiye...

Taza Ghazal inayat farmane ke liye aap ka mamnoon hooN. Bahut achchi Ghazal hai. Bhaut pasaNd aaii. Mundarjah zel she'r KhuSuSan ziyadah pasaNd aaya aur ise maiN der tak gungunata raha.

rezah rezah umeed-o-armaaN th`e
paarah paarah dil-o-jigar dekh`aa


Aaapke maqtey ke hawaley se kuch arz karna chaahta tha. Aur woh yeh keh maqtey meN amuman "inkesari" ya "aajizee" ki bajaye "Khoodshansee" ya "Khooshfahmee" se kaam liya jata hai. YahaN akcer mubaliGha bhi dekhne ko mila hai. Ghalib ke bahut se maqtey zahne aali meN mahfooz hoNge (sunte hain keh Ghalib ka hai andaaze bayaN aur). Magar aap ne is maqtey meN Khood ko sub se baRa behunar kah kar jis inkesari ka mazaahirah kiya hai woh shayad maqtey ki riwayat ke muKhtalif hai.Mera khyaal Ghalat bhi ho sakta hai.

Ghazal per ek baar phir meri daad qubool kijiyega.

KhulooSkaar,
Jawaid Badauni
Sarwar A. Raz
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Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb: aadaab!

Ghazal kee paZeeraayee ke liYe mamnoon hooN. Ghazal goyee aaj kal kam kam hee hotee hai. shaayad booRhaa ho chalaa hooN! aap ne likh`aa hai keh:

"aapke maqtey ke hawaley se kuch arz karna chaahta tha. Aur woh yeh keh maqtey meN amuman "inkesari" ya "aajizee" ki bajaye "Khoodshansee" ya "Khooshfahmee" se kaam liya jata hai. YahaN akcer mubaliGha bhi dekhne ko mila hai. Ghalib ke bahut se maqtey zahne aali meN mahfooz hoNge (sunte hain keh Ghalib ka hai andaaze bayaN aur). Magar aap ne is maqtey meN Khood ko sub se baRa behunar kah kar jis inkesari ka mazaahirah kiya hai woh shayad maqtey ki riwayat se muKhtalif hai.Mera khyaal Ghalat bhi ho sakta hai."

maqt'oN ke muta,a'lliq mujh` ko kisee riwaayat kaa i'lm naheeN hai. har t^araH ke mil jaaYeN ge. lekin aap kee teHreer se Khayaal paidaa huwaa keh is mauZoo' par ek maZ^moon likh`aa jaa saktaa hai! aap hee ibtidaa kareN aur mashaaheer ke maqt^e' jama' kar ke un kaa tajziyah kareN keh kyaa kyaa Haal a'am hai aur kin kin SooratoN meN logoN ne taKhalluS baaNdh`e haiN. kyaa Khayaal hai?

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Sarwar A. Raz
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Re: waah waah kyaa kehne

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz. :Sarwar SaaHib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

koochah koochah, nagar nagar dekh`aa
Khud meN dekh`aa use agar dekh`aa

Bahut khoob maTlaA hei. Pahli martabah dekh rahaa hooN ke aap ne bhi ieeTaay-e-khafi ke baare meiN tasaahul se kaam liyaa hei aur Shamsurrahmaan Farooqi ke nuqta-e-nazar ko apnaayaa hei ke ieeTaay-e-khafi koii cheez nahiN. :idea:

qiSSah-e-zeest muKhtaSar dekh`aa
jaise ik Khwaab raat bh`ar dekh`aa


jee, zindagi ko mukhtaSar dekhanaa is iAtibaar se saHeeH hei ke zimmedaariyaoN ki uljhanaoN meiN waqt kistaraH se guzraa iskaa eHsaas nah housakaa. "Subh houti hei shaam houti hei.....Umr yooN hi tamaam houti hei".

dar hee dekh`aa nah too ne gh`ar dekh`aa
zindagee! tujh` ko Khoob kar dekh`aa!


Zindagi karnaa wo bhii dar aur ghar kaa liHaaz kiye baghair yeh tou meraa apnaa zaati Amali tajribah hei. Is liye yeh sheAr mujhe bahut pasand aayaa.

rezah rezah umeed-o-armaaN th`e
paarah paarah dil-o-jigar dekh`aa


Waah, raah-e-shauq meiN naakaamiy-e-tamanna kaa zikr aap ne kis khoobSoorati se kiyaa hei. :-)

koyee Hasrat nah is ke ba'd rahee
us ko Hasrat se ik naz^ar dekh`aa


Aek baar ki Hasrat bhari nigaah ne aapko muTma'in kardiyaa warnah loag tou kehte heiN "aek baar dekhaa hei aur doosri baar dekhne ki havas hei".

Haal-e-dil apnaa deedanee kab th`aa?
dekh`te kaise? haaN! magar dekh`aa!


Bahut achchaa sheAr hei, waah waah. Kyaa kehne doosre miSreA ke. "dekhte kaise haaN magar dekhaa."

ham ko dair-o-Haram se kyaa nisbat?
us ko dil meN hee jalwah-gar dekh`aa


Aisi shaayeraanah fikr zamaane se chali aarahi hei jiskaa maqSad insaani taAalluqaat ki ehmiyat zaahir karnaa hei. Is se kisi mazhab ke aadami ko ikhtilaaf nahiN kiyunkeh her mazhab kaa yehi paighaam houtaa hei. Nazari ikhtilaaf ki bunyaad per insaani baahami dousti per aanch nahiN aani chaahiye. Ye alag baat hei ke kyaa is shaayeraanah falsafeh ko her qaaree samajh saktaa hei yaa nahiN!!! :?:

dard meN, ranj-o-Gham meN, HirmaaN meN
aap ko ham ne dar-ba-dar dekh`aa


Khud ko dar-ba-dar dekhaa, se baat vazeH hougayi keh shaayer ne kitni pareshaaniyaoN kaa saamnaa kiyaa hei. Waah kyaa khoob andaaz-e-bayaan hei. :-)

[/u]sach kaho bazm-e-she'r meN tum ne
koyee "Sarwar" saa be-hunar dekh`aa?

Baat jab sach kehne ki hei tou Sarwar SaaHib, maiN ne to aap jaise baa-hunar bahut hi kam dekhe heiN. Yeh bilkul sach hei keh khud ko hameshah Taalib-e-ilm hii samajhnaa chaahiye lekin aap ne Had se ziyaadah inkisaari se kaam liyaa hei. Allah aapko maA-e-ahl o Ayaal ke khush o khurram rakhkhe. :-)

Dobaarah aapki is dilkash ghazal per dili daad aur mubaarakbaad pesh kartaa hooN.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.


muHtaramee Nazir SaaHeb: aadaab a'rZ^ hai!

aap ne jis tafSeel aur KhulooS se tabSirah kiyaa hai us ke liYe dilee mamnoon hooN! eet^aa-e-Khafee ke Hawaaleh se jo aap ne mushaahidah kiyaa hai woh apnee jagah Theek hai. kabh`ee kabh`ee aisee aazaadee buree naheeN hai!

behtar hai dil ke paas rahe paasbaan-e-a'ql
lekin kabh`ee kabh`ee us tanhaa bh`ee chh`oR de!

reh gayaa yeh keh kisee she'r kaa falsafah har qaaree samajh` sake gaa keh naheeN to apne qaari,yeen se itnaa Husn-e-z^an to rakh`taa hee hooN! koyee nah samjh`e gaa to shaayad pooch` le. ek aadh` meHfil meN isee Ghazal par aisaa huwaa hai.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Post by jawaid badauni »

Sarwar Raz wrote:
maqt'oN ke muta,a'lliq mujh` ko kisee riwaayat kaa i'lm naheeN hai. har t^araH ke mil jaaYeN ge. lekin aap kee teHreer se Khayaal paidaa huwaa keh is mauZoo' par ek maZ^moon likh`aa jaa saktaa hai! aap hee ibtidaa kareN aur mashaaheer ke maqt^e' jama' kar ke un kaa tajziyah kareN keh kyaa kyaa Haal a'am hai aur kin kin SooratoN meN logoN ne taKhalluS baaNdh`e haiN. kyaa Khayaal hai?

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Sarkaar-e Waala

Hamare Aligarins.com per Gauhar-e SuKhan forum meN ek laRee hai "USTAAD SHOA'RA KA MAQTA' AUR MATLA'. Mumkin ho to dekh lijiyega. Yeh laRee ab iktaalees (41) SufHaat tak pahooNch gaii hai.

Nacheez,

Jawaid Badauni
Sarwar A. Raz
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Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

jawaid badauni wrote:
Sarwar Raz wrote:
maqt'oN ke muta,a'lliq mujh` ko kisee riwaayat kaa i'lm naheeN hai. har t^araH ke mil jaaYeN ge. lekin aap kee teHreer se Khayaal paidaa huwaa keh is mauZoo' par ek maZ^moon likh`aa jaa saktaa hai! aap hee ibtidaa kareN aur mashaaheer ke maqt^e' jama' kar ke un kaa tajziyah kareN keh kyaa kyaa Haal a'am hai aur kin kin SooratoN meN logoN ne taKhalluS baaNdh`e haiN. kyaa Khayaal hai?

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Sarkaar-e Waala

Hamare Aligarins.com per Gauhar-e SuKhan forum meN ek laRee hai "USTAAD SHOA'RA KA MAQTA' AUR MATLA'. Mumkin ho to dekh lijiyega. Yeh laRee ab iktaalees (41) SufHaat tak pahooNch gaii hai.

Nacheez,

Jawaid Badauni
janaab Jawaid SaaHeb:aadaab!

aap kaa Khat^ kisee :sarkaar-e-waalaa: ke naam dekh`aa. sochaa keh un kee aamad kaa intiz^aar kar looN lekin ph`ir dil naheeN maanaa aur maiN apnee :do kauRee: kee le kar aa hee gayaa! ummeed hai keh aap aur aap ke :sarkaar-e-waalaa: donoN Khayaal naheeN kareN ge! :-)

aap kee aligarians.com kee yeh laRee maiN pehle hee dekh` chukaa hooN. lekin is kaa maqSad samajh` meN naheeN aayaa th`aa aur ab bh`ee meHroom hooN! Sirf mat^le' aur maqt^e' yakjaa kar dene se kyaa ho gaa jab tak keh is mawaad ko ista'maal nah kiyaa jaaYe? so agar ab aap meree tajweez ko in ash,a'ar ke saath` milaa deN aur kaam ko aage baRhaaYeN to baat ban saktee hai. ab yeh farmaaYeN keh maZ^moon kab shuroo' kar rahe haiN aap?

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Post by zmufti »

qiSSah-e-zeest muKhtaSar dekh`aa
jaise ik Khwaab raat bh`ar dekh`aa

rezah rezah umeed-o-armaaN th`e
paarah paarah dil-o-jigar dekh`aa

koyee Hasrat nah is ke ba'd rahee
us ko Hasrat se ik naz^ar dekh`aa
Mohtaram Raz saheb
Tasleemat
aap ki ghazal hamesha ki tarah buhat dilkash hai
meri janib se daad qabool kijye
aur aik guzarish hai aakhiri sher maiN "be hunar" ko "ba hunar" kar dijye
wasalaam
zmufti
Janab Sarwar Alam Raz saheb ka interview visit the link:
http://www.urduduniya.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2473
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Post by Naveed_Ahmad_Naveed »

Aadaab Raaz saaHib.

aap ka taza kalam kafi arsa baad paRha aur pehle se barh kar lutaf paya meiN to is sh'er par hi jhoom utha ke.

koccha koccha,nagar nagar deka
khud meiN dekha use aghar dekha

vaah har lihaaz se ek mukamil aur lajavaab sh'er dil karta hai ise gungunate jaooN kya lutaf ki baat hai.

aur yeh sh'er.

koi hasrat na us ke baad rahi
us ko hasrat se ek nazr dekha.

bohat khoob raaz saaHib ghazal ke subi ash'ar ne bohat lutaf dya.
umeed hai jald aap ka mazeed taza klaam paRhne ko mile ga.

Shukrya.

Naveed.
Naveed.
Sarwar A. Raz
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Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

a'zeezah Zarqa: salaam!

aap kee daad mere liYe baa,ic-e-masarrat hai! shukriyah qubool keejiYe. reh gayaa maqt^e' meN Khud ko :baa-hunar: likh`naa to yeh :bid,a't: karooN gaa to Khud ko hee muNh dikh`aane ke qaabil nah rahooN gaa! :-)

aap kee muHabbat kaa shurkriyah!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

mukarramee Naveed SaaHeb: aadaab!

Khat^ aur daad ke liYe mamnoon hooN. ab yeh bh`ee yaad naheeN keh aaKhiree baar aap se kab hamkalaam huwaa th`aa. agar ab tak aap mere site par naheeN gaYe haiN to jaa kar is :gulshan-e-baa-Khaar: ko bh`ee dekh` leN! aur munaasib jaaneN to kitaab-e-mehmaan par dastKhat^ cabt farmaa deN. shukriyah!

meraa web site hai: www.sarwarraz.com

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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