aafat ho, muSeebat ho, qiyaamat ho, balaa ho!
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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aafat ho, muSeebat ho, qiyaamat ho, balaa ho!
yaaraan-e-bazm: aadaab-o-tasleemaat!
Haal hee meN Molana "Hasrat" Mohani kaa ek she'r naz^ar se guZraa:
martaa hai kisee shoKh jafaa-kaar peh "Hasrat"
shaayad yeh fasaanah kaheeN tum ne bh`ee sunaa ho!
jee chaahaa keh is zameen meN fikr kee jaaYe. zameen kuch` mushkil Z^aroor hai lekin apne daaman meN ma'nee-aafreenee ke imkaanaat rakh`tee hai. is fikr ke nateejeh meN jo Ghazal huyee woh pesh-e-Khidmat hai. aap kee raaYe kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. shukriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
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GHAZAL:
aafat ho, muSeebat ho, qiyaamat ho, balaa ho
ma'loom to ho mere liYe kaun ho, kyaa ho?
kehne ko to baateN haiN bohat shaam-e-muHabbat
kyaa keejiYe jab dil hee yeh majboor-e-anaa ho
me'raaj-e-muHabbat hai yeh me'raaj-e-wafaa hai
maiN hooN, tiree ik yaad ho aur Harf-e-du,a'a ho
maiN apne hee alfaaz^ meN gum-kardah-e-manzil
tum jaan-e-Ghazal, jaan-e-suKhan, Husn-e-adaa ho!
majboor-e-muHabbat hooN gunahgaar naheeN hooN!
tum kaun see aqleem-e-muHabbat ke Khudaa ho?
ho jaaYe gaa batlaa,o GhaZ^ab kaun saa aisaa?
gar manzil-e-ulfat meN shikaayat bh`ee rawaa ho
gumraahee-e-Sad-raah-e-muHabbat mujh`e Khush hai
haaN shart^ yeh hai too hee miraa raah-numaa ho!
dunyaa se jo ummeed-e-wafaa tum ko hai "Sarwar"
itnaa to bataa,o bh`alaa tum chaahate kyaa ho?
Haal hee meN Molana "Hasrat" Mohani kaa ek she'r naz^ar se guZraa:
martaa hai kisee shoKh jafaa-kaar peh "Hasrat"
shaayad yeh fasaanah kaheeN tum ne bh`ee sunaa ho!
jee chaahaa keh is zameen meN fikr kee jaaYe. zameen kuch` mushkil Z^aroor hai lekin apne daaman meN ma'nee-aafreenee ke imkaanaat rakh`tee hai. is fikr ke nateejeh meN jo Ghazal huyee woh pesh-e-Khidmat hai. aap kee raaYe kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. shukriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
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GHAZAL:
aafat ho, muSeebat ho, qiyaamat ho, balaa ho
ma'loom to ho mere liYe kaun ho, kyaa ho?
kehne ko to baateN haiN bohat shaam-e-muHabbat
kyaa keejiYe jab dil hee yeh majboor-e-anaa ho
me'raaj-e-muHabbat hai yeh me'raaj-e-wafaa hai
maiN hooN, tiree ik yaad ho aur Harf-e-du,a'a ho
maiN apne hee alfaaz^ meN gum-kardah-e-manzil
tum jaan-e-Ghazal, jaan-e-suKhan, Husn-e-adaa ho!
majboor-e-muHabbat hooN gunahgaar naheeN hooN!
tum kaun see aqleem-e-muHabbat ke Khudaa ho?
ho jaaYe gaa batlaa,o GhaZ^ab kaun saa aisaa?
gar manzil-e-ulfat meN shikaayat bh`ee rawaa ho
gumraahee-e-Sad-raah-e-muHabbat mujh`e Khush hai
haaN shart^ yeh hai too hee miraa raah-numaa ho!
dunyaa se jo ummeed-e-wafaa tum ko hai "Sarwar"
itnaa to bataa,o bh`alaa tum chaahate kyaa ho?
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yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Re: aafat ho, muSeebat ho, qiyaamat ho, balaa ho!
........................................................................................................Sarwar Raz wrote:yaaraan-e-bazm: aadaab-o-tasleemaat!
Haal hee meN Molana "Hasrat" Mohani kaa ek she'r naz^ar se guZraa:
martaa hai kisee shoKh jafaa-kaar peh "Hasrat"
shaayad yeh fasaanah kaheeN tum ne bh`ee sunaa ho!
jee chaahaa keh is zameen meN fikr kee jaaYe. zameen kuch` mushkil Z^aroor hai lekin apne daaman meN ma'nee-aafreenee ke imkaanaat rakh`tee hai. is fikr ke nateejeh meN jo Ghazal huyee woh pesh-e-Khidmat hai. aap kee raaYe kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. shukriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
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GHAZAL:
aafat ho, muSeebat ho, qiyaamat ho, balaa ho
ma'loom to ho mere liYe kaun ho, kyaa ho?
kehne ko to baateN haiN bohat shaam-e-muHabbat
kyaa keejiYe jab dil hee yeh majboor-e-anaa ho
me'raaj-e-muHabbat hai yeh me'raaj-e-wafaa hai
maiN hooN, tiree ik yaad ho aur Harf-e-du,a'a ho
maiN apne hee alfaaz^ meN gum-kardah-e-manzil
tum jaan-e-Ghazal, jaan-e-suKhan, Husn-e-adaa ho!
majboor-e-muHabbat hooN gunahgaar naheeN hooN!
tum kaun see aqleem-e-muHabbat ke Khudaa ho?
ho jaaYe gaa batlaa,o GhaZ^ab kaun saa aisaa?
gar manzil-e-ulfat meN shikaayat bh`ee rawaa ho
gumraahee-e-Sad-raah-e-muHabbat mujh`e Khush hai
haaN shart^ yeh hai too hee miraa raah-numaa ho!
dunyaa se jo ummeed-e-wafaa tum ko hai "Sarwar"
itnaa to bataa,o bh`alaa tum chaahate kyaa ho?
mohtaram sarwar alam raaz sahib ,
salam_o_alaekum ,
bahot khoob , bahot muras_sa , aur khoobsurat gazal kahi hai aap
ne , janab waqayee mazaa aa gaya , ek ek shear apni jagah
bolta hua mahsoos ho raha hai . meri janib se bahot bahot mubarak
baad , aur dher saari daad ka nazrana ,,, aap ki khidmat mein ...
qabool kijiye ,, wa/salam ,, mukhlis ,,, dilshadnazmi
dilshadnazmi.jubail.ksa
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muHtaramee DilshadNazmi SaaHeb: aadaab!
yaad-aawaree ke liYe mamnoon hooN. Ghazal kee paZeeraayee aur daad meree i'zzat-afzaayee kaa baa,ic huyee.
paidaa kahaaN haiN aise paraagandah-taba' log!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yaad-aawaree ke liYe mamnoon hooN. Ghazal kee paZeeraayee aur daad meree i'zzat-afzaayee kaa baa,ic huyee.
paidaa kahaaN haiN aise paraagandah-taba' log!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Mohtarmee Sarwar Raz SaHab,
Aadaab qubool farmaaiye
Aaj phir aap ne behud dilkush kalam se nawazah hai. Guzishtah ghazal ki tarah, yeh ghazal bhi kuch aisee hai keh isay paRhne ki bajaye gane aur gungunane ko dil chaahta hai. So maiN kafi der se wohee kaam kar raha hooN.
Ek choTa sa mashwarah jise arz to kah sakte haiN e'traaz nahiN. Teesre she'r ke miSra-e caani meN "IK" lafz aur maqtay men "bhala" lafz , yeh donoN alfaz mujhe kuch izafat se mahsoos ho rahe haiN. Baqi tamaam ghazal behud morassah hai so agar in do miSroN per nazr-e caani kar leN to mere khyaal meN behtar hoga, warnah aap mujh se behter samajhte haiN.
Ghazal behud haseen hai aur maza aa jaye agar koii naamwar glukaar isay gaaye. Meri janib se dili mubarakbaad qubool farmaaiye.
Jaate jaate arz kar dooN keh aapki Ghazal ka pahla miSra maiN ne apni janib se apni shareek-e Hayat ki nazr kar diya hai.
MuKhliS,
Jawaid
mukkarrami janab sarwar saab; aadaab;
waah bohat khoob, ghazal mujhe pasand aayee daad qubool kijiye.
naacheez,
mahroo
waah bohat khoob, ghazal mujhe pasand aayee daad qubool kijiye.
naacheez,
mahroo
Last edited by MAHROO on Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:33 am, edited 3 times in total.
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mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb: aadaab a'rZ^!jawaid badauni wrote:
Mohtarmee Sarwar Raz SaHab,
Aadaab qubool farmaaiye
Aaj phir aap ne behud dilkush kalam se nawazah hai. Guzishtah ghazal ki tarah, yeh ghazal bhi kuch aisee hai keh isay paRhne ki bajaye gane aur gungunane ko dil chaahta hai. So maiN kafi der se wohee kaam kar raha hooN.
Ek choTa sa mashwarah jise arz to kah sakte haiN e'traaz nahiN. Teesre she'r ke miSra-e caani meN "IK" lafz aur maqtay men "bhala" lafz , yeh donoN alfaz mujhe kuch izafat se mahsoos ho rahe haiN. Baqi tamaam ghazal behud morassah hai so agar in do miSroN per nazr-e caani kar leN to mere khyaal meN behtar hoga, warnah aap mujh se behter samajhte haiN.
Ghazal behud haseen hai aur maza aa jaye agar koii naamwar glukaar isay gaaye. Meri janib se dili mubarakbaad qubool farmaaiye.
Jaate jaate arz kar dooN keh aapki Ghazal ka pahla miSra maiN ne apni janib se apni shareek-e Hayat ki nazr kar diya hai.
MuKhliS,
Jawaid
Ghazal par tabSireh aur daad ke liYe mamnoon hooN. aap kalaam dekh` lete haiN to it^meenaan ho jaataa hai. shukriyah! aap ne jo sawaalaat kiYe haiN maiN un kee ahmiyyat se waaqif hooN. aap kee raaYe kaa iHtiraam kartaa hooN aur us kee raushanee meN Hasb-e-Z^aroorat apnee taKhleeqaat par naz^ar-e-caanee bh`ee kartaa hooN. muKhtaSara" jawaab a'rZ^ kar rahaa hooN.
me'raaj-e-muHabbat hai yeh me'raaj-e-wafaa hai
maiN hooN, tiree ik yaad ho aur Harf-e-du,a'a ho
dunyaa se jo ummeed-e-wafaa tum ko hai "Sarwar"
itnaa to bataa,o bh`alaa tum chaahate kyaa ho?
aap ne in ash,a'ar ke Hawaaleh se farmaayaa hai keh pehle she'r meN :ik: aur doosre meN :bh`alaa: iZ^aafee (ya'nee "bh`artee" ke) ma'loom hote haiN. meraa Khayaal hai keh yeh alfaaz^ apnee jagah b.ilkul SaHeeH ista'maal huwe haiN. is ijmaal kee tafSeel yooN hai:
pehle she'r meN :tiree ik: ba-ma'nee :tiree hee: baaNdh`aa gayaa hai aur yeh siyaaq-o-sibaaq se z^aahir hai. maiN ne pehle sochaa th`aa keh :ik: kee jagah :hee: likh`ooN lekin us se she'r meN woh jaan paidaa naheeN ho rahee th`ee jo maiN Z^arooree samajh`taa th`aa. kam se kam meraa yehee Khayaal hai keh :ik: se she'r meN zor paidaa ho gayaa hai.
yehee Haal :bh`alaa: kaa hai. is se "Sarwar" se ek t^araH kee jhuNjh`laahaT kaa e'laan ho rahaa hai keh "tum bh`ee kis qadar naadaan ho keh dunyaa se wafaa kee ummeed rakh`te ho!"
maiN aur Ghaur karooN gaa: dekh`eN kyaa guZre hai qat^reh peh guhar hone tak!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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a'zeezah Mahroo: salaam!MAHROO wrote:mukkarrami janab sarwar saab; aadaab;
waah bohat khoob, ghazal mujhe pasand aayee daad qubool kijiye.
naacheez,
mahroo
maiN aap kaa shukriyah adaa karne aayaa to dekh`aa keh aap ne woh Ghazal miTaa dee hai jo pehle yahaaN maujood th`ee. ma'loom naheeN kis ne aap se aisaa karne ko kahaa. Khair, maiN ek to aap kaa shukr-guZaar hooN keh aap ne daad dee aur doosree baat aap kee Ghazal par kehnee hai. woh yeh keh mujh` ko aap ke Khayaalaat pasand aaYe th`e. albattah aap ko abh`ee shaa,i'ree ke bunyaadee uSool seekh`ne par zor dene kee Z^aroorat hai. jab yeh ho jaaYe gaa to Ghazal-goyee aasaan aur behtar ho gee. himmat nah haareN. meHnat kareN aur koyee cheez pooch`naa ho to mujh` ko likh` bh`ejeN.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
- Abdullah Nazir
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waah waah bahut khoob
MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz Sarwar SaaHib,
PurkhulooS tasleemaat,
Maulaanaa Hasrat Mouhaani ke miSreA per aapki ghazal bahut hii dilkash hei. Saare ashAaar beHad pasand aaye jinke liye khaaksaar kii daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
mohtarram janab sarwar saab;aadaab;Sarwar Raz wrote:a'zeezah Mahroo: salaam!MAHROO wrote:mukkarrami janab sarwar saab; aadaab;
waah bohat khoob, ghazal mujhe pasand aayee daad qubool kijiye.
naacheez,
mahroo
maiN aap kaa shukriyah adaa karne aayaa to dekh`aa keh aap ne woh Ghazal miTaa dee hai jo pehle yahaaN maujood th`ee. ma'loom naheeN kis ne aap se aisaa karne ko kahaa. Khair, maiN ek to aap kaa shukr-guZaar hooN keh aap ne daad dee aur doosree baat aap kee Ghazal par kehnee hai. woh yeh keh mujh` ko aap ke Khayaalaat pasand aaYe th`e. albattah aap ko abh`ee shaa,i'ree ke bunyaadee uSool seekh`ne par zor dene kee Z^aroorat hai. jab yeh ho jaaYe gaa to Ghazal-goyee aasaan aur behtar ho gee. himmat nah haareN. meHnat kareN aur koyee cheez pooch`naa ho to mujh` ko likh` bh`ejeN.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
shukriya jawab ka; mai mamnoon hoon;
aapne dosre logon ko jawab post kiya aur mujhe laga aap mujhe nazar andaz kar rahe hain aur shayad aap mere kalaam par tabsera karna munasib nahin samjhtay bas isiliye usse mita diya;
waise aap ne sach farmaya hai riyazat aur mu'taa'la zaroori hai kisi bhi shayar ki tarraqqi ke liye;
waise, agar aapse kuch poochna ho tau poochoon kaise;
talib e dua,
mahroo
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Mehroo SaaHebah: aadaab!MAHROO wrote:mohtarram janab sarwar saab;aadaab;Sarwar Raz wrote:a'zeezah Mahroo: salaam!MAHROO wrote:mukkarrami janab sarwar saab; aadaab;
waah bohat khoob, ghazal mujhe pasand aayee daad qubool kijiye.
naacheez,
mahroo
maiN aap kaa shukriyah adaa karne aayaa to dekh`aa keh aap ne woh Ghazal miTaa dee hai jo pehle yahaaN maujood th`ee. ma'loom naheeN kis ne aap se aisaa karne ko kahaa. Khair, maiN ek to aap kaa shukr-guZaar hooN keh aap ne daad dee aur doosree baat aap kee Ghazal par kehnee hai. woh yeh keh mujh` ko aap ke Khayaalaat pasand aaYe th`e. albattah aap ko abh`ee shaa,i'ree ke bunyaadee uSool seekh`ne par zor dene kee Z^aroorat hai. jab yeh ho jaaYe gaa to Ghazal-goyee aasaan aur behtar ho gee. himmat nah haareN. meHnat kareN aur koyee cheez pooch`naa ho to mujh` ko likh` bh`ejeN.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
shukriya jawab ka; mai mamnoon hoon;
aapne dosre logon ko jawab post kiya aur mujhe laga aap mujhe nazar andaz kar rahe hain aur shayad aap mere kalaam par tabsera karna munasib nahin samjhtay bas isiliye usse mita diya;
waise aap ne sach farmaya hai riyazat aur mu'taa'la zaroori hai kisi bhi shayar ki tarraqqi ke liye;
waise, agar aapse kuch poochna ho tau poochoon kaise;
talib e dua,
mahroo
is qadar jald-baazee nah kiyaa kareN! maiN apnee maSroofiyaat meN har cheez waqt par naheeN dekh` paataa hooN. is kaa yeh mat^lab naheeN hai keh maiN kisee ko naz^ar-andaaz kar rahaa hooN. jald yaa ba-der u'mooma" jawaab Z^aroor detaa hooN. illaa maashaa-Allah!
aap mujh ko pm kar saktee haiN. aur email bh`ee:
sarwar_raz@hotmail.com
waise maiN Jan. 28 ko do maah ke liYe India jaa rahaa hooN aur wahaaN se internet par aanaa mushkil ho gaa.
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Re: waah waah bahut khoob
mukarramee Nazir SaaHeb:aadaab!WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz Sarwar SaaHib,
PurkhulooS tasleemaat,
Maulaanaa Hasrat Mouhaani ke miSreA per aapki ghazal bahut hii dilkash hei. Saare ashAaar beHad pasand aaye jinke liye khaaksaar kii daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.
Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
Zarrah-nawaazee ke liYe mamnoon hooN. Ghazal aap ko pasand aayee to mere liYe yeh amr baa,ic-e-masarrat huwaa. shukriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar: