Tarahee Ghazal --- Guzarish (15)

Tarhi Moshaairah -ShoAaraa aur Shayeraat kii TabAaazmayi ke liye

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jawaid badauni
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Tarahee Ghazal --- Guzarish (15)

Post by jawaid badauni »


“tumhare hijr meN kya kooch nah beeti kya nah hoowa”



fareb.e wAda se dil mera aashna nah hoowa
mujhe to Gam hai keh woh shaKhs bewafa nah hoowa

tamaam umr oosee ki talaash meN guzree
jo hum se ek nafas bhee kabhee juda nah hoowa

Khataa yeh thee keh adaalat meN bhee nah bole jhooT
hamare haq meN kabhee koii faiSla nah hoowa

GamoN ka baar, shab.e teera, dard.e tanhaaii
“tumhare hijr meN kya kooch nah beeti kya nah hoowa”

mujhe dikhaao to main baRhke choom looNga oose
woh haath jis se kisee ka kabhee boora nah hoowa

mareeZ.e Gam ko GamoN se ajeeb raGbat thee
dawaa to door kabhee taalib.e doa nah hoowa

wafaa kisee ki rahee dil peh qarz ai :Jawaid:
keh miT gaya hooN magar sood tak adaa nah hoowa
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Jawaid Badauni
Muscat - Oman
Last edited by jawaid badauni on Wed Mar 08, 2006 2:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Abdullah Nazir
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Bahut khoob, waah waah

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtarami o Azeezi
Jawaid Badauni SaaHib,

PurkhulooS tasleemaat,

Guzarish 15 ke TaraHi miSreA per aapki dilkash ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubarakbad qubool farmaayiye.

Mere diye houe TaraHi miSreA ko aap ne thouRaa saa tabdeel kardiyaa hei. Shayad aap ne yeh souchaa hougaa ke "kyaa kuch" se ravaani meiN khalal paRrahaa hei. DaraSl Harf "hey" ko giraane kaa javaaz hei.

MULAAHIZAAT:

fareb.e wAda se dil mera aashna nah hoowa
mujhe to Gam hai keh woh shaKhs bewafa nah hoowa

Pahle miSreaA se do mukhtalif mafhoom adaa hourahe heiN. 1- koi waAda karke fareb detaa rahaa aur maiN aashnaa nahiN houaa. 2- kisi ne mujh se waAda karke fareb nahiN diyaa.
Doosre miSreA se No.2 mafhoom munaasib hei. Bahut khoob.

tamaam umr oosee ki talaash meN guzree
jo hum se ek nafas bhee kabhee juda nah hoowa

Waah kyaa bekhudi kaa Aalam hei. Bahut khoob. Waah waah.

Khataa yeh thee keh adaalat meN bhee nah bole jhooT
hamare haq meN muqadme ka faiSla nah hoowa

Is sheAr meiN aap ne lafz "muqaddamah" ko baghair tashdeed ke isteAmal kiyaa hei jis ke javaaz se maiN laa-ilm hooN.
Manavi liHaaz se bahut hi achcha sheAr hei.

GamoN ka baar, shab.e teera, dard.e tanhaaii
“tumhare hijr meN kya kya nah beeti kya nah hoowa”

Main ne pahle hi is baat kaa zikr kiyaa hei ke aapne mere TaraHi miSreA ko badalnaa jo munaasib samjhaa wo shayad kisi ghalaTfehmi kii bunyaad per ho. Mazeed yeh kehnaa besood nah hougaa ke "kyaa kuch" saHeeH muHaavirah hei. Jaise:
maiN ne jo kal kaha yeh ab waaN na jaayega
dil saari raat mujhko kyaa kuch kahaa kiyaa hei. (Jur'at)

BaharHaal, aapkaa miSraA bhii achchaa hei aur gireh tou bahut hi lajavaab hei. Waah waah.

mujhe dikhaao to main baRhke choom looNga oose
woh haath jis se kisee ka kabhee boora nah hoowa

Waah waah kyaa sheAr kehdiyaa hei aap ne.

mareeZ.e Gam ko GamoN se ajeeb raGbat thee
dawaa to door kabhee taalib.e doa nah hoowa

Jee yeh bhi aek shaayeraanah rang hei jou barsoN se chalaa aarahaa hei ke mareeZ-e-gham duAaa se bhi ijtinaab kare, jaise "duAa ko haath uthaayeN kyaa, duAa se haath uthachuke." . Warnah kahaa tou yeh jaataa hei ke duAaa ibaadat kaa maghz hei aur duAa taqdeer kii mushkilaoN se bachaati hei.
Waise shaayeri ke liHaaz se aapka sheAr bahut hi khoobSoorat hei.

wafaa kisee ki rahee dil peh qarz ai :Jawaid:
keh miT gaya hooN magar sood tak adaa nah hoowa

Chaliye aap ne maqTeA meiN aek aisi baat kehdi hei jis se shukr adaa karne ki ahmiyat ko pesh-e-nazar rakhkhaa hei. Waah waah, bahut khoob.

Ab aap ne itni behtareen ghazal kehkar mujhe shash o punj meiN Daal diyaa hei ke aayaa maiN bhi TabA aazmaayi karuN yaa nahiN.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.
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jawaid badauni
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Post by jawaid badauni »

Mohtarmee Nazir SaHab,
Aadaab

Is baar jo zameen aap ne tajveez farmaii hai maiN shruu se hi kuch muGaltey meN tha (confused). Khair ab to jo hona tha so ho gaya. Bus yooN hi baiThey baiThey yeh sher kahe they. DarAsl aapke miSrey ko main is tarah paRha tha keh "beeti" ki YE gira dee thee, yAAni:

tumhare hijr meN kya kooch na beet kya nah hoowa

Muqaddmey ke wazn ke bare meN aap ki raye durust hai aur sir aaNkhon per. Jab tak koii aur behter miSra zahn meN nahin aata maiN ne oosko badal kar yooN kar liya hai:

Hamare haq meN kabhee koii faiSla na hoowa

Matly meN main ne rawish se haTkar kuch kahne ki koshish ki hai. Mahboob ko bewafa to sub hi batatey hain magar main yeh kahna chaahta hooN keh mera mahboob bawafa hai jo mere liye baayiSe takleef hai main fareb-e wAda aur bewafaii ki lazzatoN se mahroom ho gaya hooN.

Guzishta maheeney ke barAks is baar zameen kuch dushwaar lagtee hai shayad isee liye gazleN aana abhi tak shuroo nahiN hoii haiN. Aap ne meri gazal ko pasaNd farmaya is se meri himmat afzaii hoti hai aur aapki daad jaisa keh pahle arz kar chuka hooN mere liye sanad hai.

Bohat bnohat shulkriya.

MuKhlis
Jawaid
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haamidbaaqri
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Re: Tarahee Ghazal --- Guzarish (15)

Post by haamidbaaqri »

jawaid badauni wrote:
“tumhare hijr meN kya kooch nah beeti kya nah hoowa”



fareb.e wAda se dil mera aashna nah hoowa
mujhe to Gam hai keh woh shaKhs bewafa nah hoowa

tamaam umr oosee ki talaash meN guzree
jo hum se ek nafas bhee kabhee juda nah hoowa

Khataa yeh thee keh adaalat meN bhee nah bole jhooT
hamare haq meN kabhee koii faiSla nah hoowa

GamoN ka baar, shab.e teera, dard.e tanhaaii
“tumhare hijr meN kya kooch nah beeti kya nah hoowa”

mujhe dikhaao to main baRhke choom looNga oose
woh haath jis se kisee ka kabhee boora nah hoowa

mareeZ.e Gam ko GamoN se ajeeb raGbat thee
dawaa to door kabhee taalib.e doa nah hoowa

wafaa kisee ki rahee dil peh qarz ai :Jawaid:
keh miT gaya hooN magar sood tak adaa nah hoowa
---------------------------------------------------------------


Jawaid Badauni
Muscat - Oman
salaamun alaikum
mere azeez bhaai jawaid saahib

aapki is behtareen takhleeq se hum bahut ziyadah mutaaccir hue hai.n.

ustadanah kalaam hai aapka.

saare ke saare ash^aar khoob hai.n.

aapki is munfarid kaavish per hamaari dilee daad qubool farmaaye.n.

allah(sbhnwt)kare zore qalam aur ziyadah

aapka apna
haamidbaaqri
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
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jawaid badauni
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Re: Tarahee Ghazal --- Guzarish (15)

Post by jawaid badauni »

sara_j wrote:Jawaid bhai,

adab arz hei,

bohat khoob ghazal kahi.........waah bhai har shair
doosre per baazi leta hai koi aek ki tareef nainsaafi hogi.

tamaam umr oosee ki talaash meN guzree
jo hum se ek nafas bhee kabhee juda nah hoowa

wah kya baat kahi ! lajawaab!

Khataa yeh thee keh adaalat meN bhee nah bole jhooT
hamare haq meN kabhee koii faiSla nah hoowa

uske saath hi ye shair ghazab dha raha hei!! bohat khoob!

mujhe dikhaao to main baRhke choom looNga oose
woh haath jis se kisee ka kabhee boora nah hoowa

waah!

wafaa kisee ki rahee dil peh qarz ai :Jawaid:
keh miT gaya hooN magar sood tak adaa nah hoowa

awesome! bhai lajawaab maqta hei agar ye aap apni awaaz mein sunaate tou hum sirf mukarrar hi kete rehte.

is bohat hi haseen tkahleeq per dili daad aur mubrakbaad
qubool keejiye

mukhlis

sara
jawaid badauni wrote:
“tumhare hijr meN kya kooch nah beeti kya nah hoowa”



fareb.e wAda se dil mera aashna nah hoowa
mujhe to Gam hai keh woh shaKhs bewafa nah hoowa

tamaam umr oosee ki talaash meN guzree
jo hum se ek nafas bhee kabhee juda nah hoowa

Khataa yeh thee keh adaalat meN bhee nah bole jhooT
hamare haq meN kabhee koii faiSla nah hoowa

GamoN ka baar, shab.e teera, dard.e tanhaaii
“tumhare hijr meN kya kooch nah beeti kya nah hoowa”

mujhe dikhaao to main baRhke choom looNga oose
woh haath jis se kisee ka kabhee boora nah hoowa

mareeZ.e Gam ko GamoN se ajeeb raGbat thee
dawaa to door kabhee taalib.e doa nah hoowa

wafaa kisee ki rahee dil peh qarz ai :Jawaid:
keh miT gaya hooN magar sood tak adaa nah hoowa
---------------------------------------------------------------


Jawaid Badauni
Muscat - Oman
Azeezah Sara, Doa

Aapki purKhuloos daad ke liye aap ka behud mamnoon hooN. Ummid hai aaindah bhi apne graNqadr raay se nawaaztee raheNgee.

Shukriya
Jawaid
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jawaid badauni
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Re: Tarahee Ghazal --- Guzarish (15)

Post by jawaid badauni »

haamidbaaqri wrote:
jawaid badauni wrote:
“tumhare hijr meN kya kooch nah beeti kya nah hoowa”



fareb.e wAda se dil mera aashna nah hoowa
mujhe to Gam hai keh woh shaKhs bewafa nah hoowa

tamaam umr oosee ki talaash meN guzree
jo hum se ek nafas bhee kabhee juda nah hoowa

Khataa yeh thee keh adaalat meN bhee nah bole jhooT
hamare haq meN kabhee koii faiSla nah hoowa

GamoN ka baar, shab.e teera, dard.e tanhaaii
“tumhare hijr meN kya kooch nah beeti kya nah hoowa”

mujhe dikhaao to main baRhke choom looNga oose
woh haath jis se kisee ka kabhee boora nah hoowa

mareeZ.e Gam ko GamoN se ajeeb raGbat thee
dawaa to door kabhee taalib.e doa nah hoowa

wafaa kisee ki rahee dil peh qarz ai :Jawaid:
keh miT gaya hooN magar sood tak adaa nah hoowa
---------------------------------------------------------------


Jawaid Badauni
Muscat - Oman
salaamun alaikum
mere azeez bhaai jawaid saahib

aapki is behtareen takhleeq se hum bahut ziyadah mutaaccir hue hai.n.

ustadanah kalaam hai aapka.

saare ke saare ash^aar khoob hai.n.

aapki is munfarid kaavish per hamaari dilee daad qubool farmaaye.n.

allah(sbhnwt)kare zore qalam aur ziyadah

aapka apna
haamidbaaqri

Azeezi Haamid Sahab,
Aadaab

Bohat din bAAd aapka Khat dekh kar khooshi hoii. Aap jis Khuloos se daad detye haiN oos se meri behud himmat afzaaii hoti hai. Bohat bohat shukriya.

Aapka MukHlis
Jawaid
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