Ghazal--"humeiN khabar hai ke khud zauq hum meiN kitna

Post by **Shafeeq** » Wed Mar 15, 2006 12:57 pm

dosto

ek ghazal pesh-e-khidmat hai.

Ghazal

humeiN khabar hai ke khud zauq hum meiN kitna thha
wagarna faasla dair-o-haram meiN kitna thha

yeh baat poochhiye unke sulagte aanchal se
asar lahu ka miri chashm-e-nam meiN kitna thha

tere khutoot-e-badan ka yeh sab tassaruf hai
wagarna zor hamare qalam meiN kitna thha

yeh baat manzil-e-zer-e-qadam se poochh zara
ke hausla mire pehle qadam meiN kitna thha

naye ufaq yeh ghazal ke bataa rahe haiN Shafeeq
shaoor-e-fikr-o-nazar dekh hum meiN kitna thha

Post by **sbashwar** » Fri Mar 17, 2006 8:27 am

Mohtaram Shafeeq Sahib
ASAK
Achchi ghazal kehne par hamari daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye. Yeh shair humko zyada pasand ayaa:

yeh baat manzil-e-zer-e-qadam se poochh zara
ke hausla mire pehle qadam meiN kitna thha

Shukria
Salem Bashwar

Post by **Naveed_Ahmad_Naveed** » Fri Mar 17, 2006 4:52 pm

saaHib.

aap ki ghazal bohat umdaa hai.

khas toor par sh'er no 4 bohat hi pasnd aya.

Allah kare zoor e qalm aur ziyada.

Post by **Munawwar** » Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:35 pm

Shafeeq Ji,

Waaqaii ghazal ke naye ufaq bataa rahe haiN aap. Yeh woh ufaq hai jise
khursheed nahiN chhu paataa, jahaaN maah nahiiN pahuNchtaa. Bahut
khoob!

Post by **Shafeeq** » Sat Mar 18, 2006 2:47 am

Mohtarma Sara Saheba, Mukarramii Salem Bashwar Saheb, Mohtaram Naveed Saheb, Janab Munnawar Saheb
ASAK
ghazal ki pazeerayi ke liye aap hazraat-o-khawateen ka shukrguzaar huN. aap se meri darkhwaast hai ke ijtemayi taur par mera izhaar-e-tashakkur qubool farmayeN.
zarrah_nawazi ke liye shukriya
wassalaam
Shafeeq Ahmed

Abdullah Nazir · Post by **Abdullah Nazir** » Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:39 am

MuHtarami o Azeezi
Shafeeq SaaHib,

PurkhulooS tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

MULAAHIZAAT:

humeiN khabar hai ke khud zauq hum meiN kitna thha
wagarna faasla dair-o-haram meiN kitna thha

Pahle miSreA meiN alfaaz ki tarteeb "khud zauq ham mein" se aapki muraad hei (khud ham meiN zauq). Is TaraH kii ibaarateN asaatizah ke kalaam meiN bhi milti heiN. Iske baavajood meri apni zaati raaye yeh hei ke sheAr kehte waqt is qism ke ibhaam se gurez karnaa behtar hei.
Mafhoom ke iAtibaar se maTlaA bahut hi achchaa hei. waah waah.

yeh baat poochhiye unke sulagte aanchal se
asar lahu ka miri chashm-e-nam meiN kitna thha

Is sheAr meiN aapka mafhoom bahut gehraa hei jisko samajhne meiN Aam qaari ke Alaawa aHbaab-e-sukhan ko bhi diqqat pesh aasakti hei. MaiN tou yehi samajh sakaa (meri chashm-e-nam meiN lahoo aag jaisaa hei jisko pounchte houe meHboob kaa aanchal gawaahi degaa ke wo jal gayaa thaa). Bahut khoob, waah waah.

tere khutoot-e-badan ka yeh sab tassaruf hai
wagarna zor hamare qalam meiN kitna thha

Bahut khoob, waah waah, kyaa kehne. Roman meiN tere ko Harf "ye" ke baghair likhte waqt (tire) likhkhaa keejiye jaise is sheAr meiN.

yeh baat manzil-e-zer-e-qadam se poochh zara
ke hausla mire pehle qadam meiN kitna thha

Bahut khoob, waah waah, kyaa baat hei ~

naye ufaq yeh ghazal ke bataa rahe haiN Shafeeq
shaoor-e-fikr-o-nazar dekh hum meiN kitna thha

Jee bahut khoob, aapke saath mujhe bhi dekhnaa zaroori hei. MaiN tou muAtarif hooN aapki shaayeraanah SalaaHiyyataoN kaa.
Aakhir meiN Arz kartaa chalooN ke agar apne tabSireh meiN kisi qism kaa tajaavuz karjaauN tou nazar andaaz kardeejiyegaa.

Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.