tarahi ghazal--"jism baar-e-giraaN na ho jaaye"

[Shafeeq]

ehl-e-bazm
Hazrat Hafeez Hoshiarpuri ka shayr hai:

bezubaani zabaaN na ho jaaye
raaz-e-ulfath AyaaN na ho jaaye
ahbaab ki eik nashist meiN tabA azmaai ke liye "raaz-e-ulfath AyaaN na ho jaaye" ba_taur-e-misrA-e-tarah diya gaya thha. mere dost Dr. Daanish ki khoobsurat ghazal sukhanwaaran-e-adab se daad-o-tahseen haasil kar chuki hai. zer-e-nazar ghazal ko nacheez apne liye eik sa'ii-e-behaasil samajhtaa hai. umeed hai ke arbaab-e-zauq isay gawaara kar lenge.

Shafeeq Ahmed

jism baar-e-giraaN na ho jaaye
rooh ka imtihaaN na ho jaaye

sad yaqeeN yak gumaaN na ho jaaye
taaza phir ik jahaaN na ho jaaye

dard, dil ki zabaaN na ho jaaye
soz-e-pinhaaN AyaaN na ho jaaye

dillagi imtihaaN na ho jaaye
woh kaheeN hirz-e-jaaN na ho jaaye

qudsi-ul-asl Abd Khaaki hai
nafs ka gar ziyaaN na ho jaaye

diidbaani se baaz aaye raqeeb
khiNch ke abru kamaaN na ho jaaye

itna lamba safar na kijiye Shafeeq
humsafar raazdaaN na ho jaaye

[yasir shah]

assalamOlaikuM
Shafeeq saaHib !

aap ki Ghazal peh aik tifl-e-maktab ki Haiciyat se tabSirah kartaa hooN ho saktaa hay mere i'lm meN iZaafah ho jaa.ay -

ehl-e-bazm
Hazrat Hafeez Hoshiarpuri ka shayr hai:

bezubaani zabaaN na ho jaaye
raaz-e-ulfath AyaaN na ho jaaye
ahbaab ki eik nashist meiN tabA azmaai ke liye "raaz-e-ulfath AyaaN na ho jaaye" ba_taur-e-misrA-e-tarah diya gaya thha. mere dost Dr. Daanish ki khoobsurat ghazal sukhanwaaran-e-adab se daad-o-tahseen haasil kar chuki hai. zer-e-nazar ghazal ko nacheez apne liye eik sa'ii-e-behaasil samajhtaa hai. umeed hai ke arbaab-e-zauq isay gawaara kar lenge.

Shafeeq Ahmed

jism baar-e-giraaN na ho jaaye
rooh ka imtihaaN na ho jaaye

waah !

sad yaqeeN yak gumaaN na ho jaaye
taaza phir ik jahaaN na ho jaaye

aap kaa pehlaa miSra' i'lm-e-naHw ke ai'tbaar se Ghalat lagtaa hay ,, wese meN khud bhi is i'lm se naawaaqif hooN laiken kuCh jumlay darj kartaa hooN :


1-meHfil ka saare log yak.zabaaN ho jaa.eN (SaHeeH)
meHfil ke saaray log yak.zabaaN ho jaa.e (Ghalat)

2-is parcham ke saa.ay talay ham sab aik ho jaa.eN (SaHeeH)
is parcham ke saa.ay talay ham sab aik ho jaa.ay(Ghalat)

ab aap aagay khud samajh jaaiye --

dard, dil ki zabaaN na ho jaaye
soz-e-pinhaaN AyaaN na ho jaaye

aChChaa hay-

dillagi imtihaaN na ho jaaye
woh kaheeN hirz-e-jaaN na ho jaaye

bahut khoob !

qudsi-ul-asl Abd Khaaki hai
nafs ka gar ziyaaN na ho jaaye

waah janaab bahut khooB
"qudsiy-e-aSl a'bd-e-khaakee hay"

diidbaani se baaz aaye raqeeb
khiNch ke abru kamaaN na ho jaaye

yeh she'r nah Sirf samajh se baalaatar hay balkeh doosraa miSra' baHr se khaarij bhi hay --mazeed yeh keh pehle miSre' meN deedbeenee hay yaa deedbaanee ,, kyooNkeh mere paas mojood luGhat meN deedbaan to hay laiken deedbaanee naheeN ,,matlab yeh lafz naamaanoos saa lagaa-

itna lamba safar na kijiye Shafeeq
humsafar raazdaaN na ho jaaye

waah janaab daad HaaZir

khush rahye
du'aago
yasir

[yasir shah]

assalamOlaikuM
Shafeeq saaHib !

aap ki Ghazal peh aik tifl-e-maktab ki Haiciyat se tabSirah kartaa hooN ho saktaa hay mere i'lm meN iZaafah ho jaa.ay -

ehl-e-bazm
Hazrat Hafeez Hoshiarpuri ka shayr hai:

bezubaani zabaaN na ho jaaye
raaz-e-ulfath AyaaN na ho jaaye
ahbaab ki eik nashist meiN tabA azmaai ke liye "raaz-e-ulfath AyaaN na ho jaaye" ba_taur-e-misrA-e-tarah diya gaya thha. mere dost Dr. Daanish ki khoobsurat ghazal sukhanwaaran-e-adab se daad-o-tahseen haasil kar chuki hai. zer-e-nazar ghazal ko nacheez apne liye eik sa'ii-e-behaasil samajhtaa hai. umeed hai ke arbaab-e-zauq isay gawaara kar lenge.

Shafeeq Ahmed

jism baar-e-giraaN na ho jaaye
rooh ka imtihaaN na ho jaaye

waah !

sad yaqeeN yak gumaaN na ho jaaye
taaza phir ik jahaaN na ho jaaye

aap kaa pehlaa miSra' i'lm-e-naHw ke ai'tbaar se Ghalat lagtaa hay ,, wese meN khud bhi is i'lm se naawaaqif hooN laiken kuCh jumlay darj kartaa hooN :


1-meHfil ka saare log yak.zabaaN ho jaa.eN (SaHeeH)
meHfil ke saaray log yak.zabaaN ho jaa.e (Ghalat)

2-is parcham ke saa.ay talay ham sab aik ho jaa.eN (SaHeeH)
is parcham ke saa.ay talay ham sab aik ho jaa.ay(Ghalat)

ab aap aagay khud samajh jaaiye --

dard, dil ki zabaaN na ho jaaye
soz-e-pinhaaN AyaaN na ho jaaye

aChChaa hay-

dillagi imtihaaN na ho jaaye
woh kaheeN hirz-e-jaaN na ho jaaye

bahut khoob !

qudsi-ul-asl Abd Khaaki hai
nafs ka gar ziyaaN na ho jaaye

waah janaab bahut khooB
"qudsiy-e-aSl a'bd-e-khaakee hay"

diidbaani se baaz aaye raqeeb
khiNch ke abru kamaaN na ho jaaye

yeh she'r nah Sirf samajh se baalaatar hay balkeh doosraa miSra' baHr se khaarij bhi hay --mazeed yeh keh pehle miSre' meN deedbeenee hay yaa deedbaanee ,, kyooNkeh mere paas mojood luGhat meN deedbaan to hay laiken deedbaanee naheeN ,,matlab yeh lafz naamaanoos saa lagaa-

itna lamba safar na kijiye Shafeeq
humsafar raazdaaN na ho jaaye

waah janaab daad HaaZir

khush rahye
du'aago
yasir

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami o Azeezi
Shafeeq SaaHib,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Hafeez Hoshiyaarpuri ki zameen meiN aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

jism baar-e-giraaN na ho jaaye
rooh ka imtihaaN na ho jaaye

Bahut khoob waah waah. Is meiN koii shak nahiN jab jism baar-e-giraaN houjaataa hei tou rooH imtiHaan meiN mubtalaa houjaati hei.

sad yaqeeN yak gumaaN na ho jaaye
taaza phir ik jahaaN na ho jaaye

Pahle miSreA kii ta'veel kareN tou mumkin yeh samjhaajaasaktaa hei ke aap yeh kehnaa chaahte heiN "yak gumaan Sad yaqeeN ka baraabar nah houjaaye" lekin ibaarat saath nahiN de rahi hei.
Doosri baat yeh ke "taazah phir yak jahaaN nah houjaayed" se pahle miSreA kaa kyaa ta'Aalluq hei, yeh samajhne meiN mushkil pesh aarahi hei. Housaktaa hei aapke zehn meiN kisi khaaS baat ki Taraf ishaareh kaa qaSd ho.

dard, dil ki zabaaN na ho jaaye
soz-e-pinhaaN AyaaN na ho jaaye

Bahut khoob, waah waah, kyaa kehne.

dillagi imtihaaN na ho jaaye
woh kaheeN hirz-e-jaaN na ho jaaye

Bahut khoob, achchi fikr hei.

qudsi-ul-asl Abd Khaaki hai
nafs ka gar ziyaaN na ho jaaye

Yeh sheAr bahut hii achchaa hei aur iskaa pahlaa miSraA laajavaab hei. Aap ne doosre miSreA meiN yeh sharT rakhkhi hei "nafs ka gar ziyaaN na houjaye" jis se ghaaliban aap yeh kehnaa chaahte heiN ke uski qudsiyat meiN farq aajaata hei. In maAnaoN meiN mujhe aapki fikr se pooraa pooraa ittifaaq hei. Waah waah.

diidbaani se baaz aaye raqeeb
khiNch ke abru kamaaN na ho jaaye

Diidbaani = nigaah ki milkiyat. Lafz tou bahut achchaa hei lekin "aankh laRaane" ke maAni nahiN de rahaa hei. Waise doosre miSreA se mafhoom yehi vaaZeh hourahaa hei. Lafz khinch ko agar koii kheench paRhe tou miSraA bebeHr houjaayegaa jiski aap se tavaqquA nahiN. Phir bhii aap ghaur kareN agar waaqaAi "deedbaani" se aapka mafhoom adaa horaa hei tou theek hei.

itna lamba safar na kijiye Shafeeq
humsafar raazdaaN na ho jaye

MaqTaA achcha hei.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[Shafeeq]

Mohtarmi Nazir Saheb, Sara Saheba, Yaasir saheb,

is ghazal par aap sab ki aara jaan kar dili masarrat hui. shukriyah.
isi ghazal ke do shayr shaamil hone se reh gaye thhe jo ab irsaal-e-khidmat haiN. mulaheza ho:

jism baar-e-giraaN na ho jaaye
rooh ka imtihaaN na ho jaaye

sad yaqeeN yak gumaaN na ho jaaye
taaza phir ik jahaaN na ho jaaye

dard, dil ki zabaaN na ho jaaye
soz-e-pinhaaN AyaaN na ho jaaye

dillagi imtihaaN na ho jaaye
woh kaheeN hirz-e-jaaN na ho jaaye

qudsi-ul-asl Abd Khaaki hai
nafs ka gar ziyaaN na ho jaaye

rok leejay zabaan ka khanjar
kat ke dil khuNchakaaN na ho jaaye

dekh kar unka unfuwan-e-shabaab
dil mira naghmakhwaaN na ho jaaye

diidbaani se baaz aaye raqeeb
khiNch ke abru kamaaN na ho jaaye

itna lamba safar na keejay Shafeeq
humsafar raazdaaN na ho jaaye


Shafeeq Ahmed
Post Box: 174
G.P.O.
Hyderabad-500 001
India