tarHi ghazal kiya mire dil meN tire Husn ki taSweer nahiN

[khozema husaini]

KHawateen o Hazraat
assalam alaikum

diye gaye tarHi misre per apni adna si koshish aap ki KHidmat men pesh kar raha hoon aur ummeed karta hoon ke mohtaram nazir sahab ke ilawah deegar shoara aur shairaat bhi mujhe apni aara se nawaaz ka mere ilm meN izafah farmayenge
shukriyah
talib e duAa o Ilm
Husaini

Ghazal
berawadaari meN teri koi taqSeer nahiN
haaN duAaoN meN hii beshak miri taceer nahiN

kiyuN teri bazm se uThha nahiN jata hum se
paoN meN jab keh hamare koi zanjeer nahiN

kiyun nah tadbeer se taqdeer ki khul jaye girah
kutbah e baKHt hai yeh zulf e girahgeer nahiN

kisliye thhaam ke dil baiThh gaye deedahwar ?
tere haathoN men koi KHanjar o shamsheer nahiN

aik jugnu ne miri raah munawwar kar di
tum se ae shams o qamar Haajat e tanweer nahiN

aap karte heN mire dard e jigar ka darmaaN
yeh koi khwaab hai aisi miri taqdeer nahiN

tum nahiN aaye magar aa gaya paiGHaam e ajal
ab to aa jao keh gunjaish e taaKHeer nahiN

kis liye karta phirooN men tujhe har shae men talaash?
"kiya mire dil meN tire Husn ki taSweer nahiN

jaadah e Aam Husaini hai sukhun pardaazi
shairi aik suKHanwar hii ki jageer nahiN

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami
Khozema Husaini SaaHib.

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aapki TaraHi ghazal bahut khoob hei jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

MULAAHIZAAT:

betawajjohi meN teri koi taqSeer nahiN
iltejaoN meN hii beshak miri taceer nahiN

aapke maTleA kaa pahlaa miSraA beHr se khaarij hougayaa hei.
isko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei:
be-rawaadari meiN teri koii taqSeer nahiN.
Poore maTleA per hi nazar-e-caani kareN to behtar hei.

kiyuN teri bazm se uThha nahiN jata hum se
jab keh paoN meN hamare koi zanjeer nahiN

doosre miSreA ko yooN kerdeejiye to behtar hei. Rawaani paidaa houjaayegi:
paaooN meiN jabkeh hamaare koii zanjeer nahiN

kiyun nah tadbeer se taqdeer ki khul jaye girah
kutabah e baKHt hai yeh zulf e girahgeer nahiN

kutbah likhkiyue taakeh vazn qaayim rahe.

kisliye thhaam ke dil baiThh gaye deedahwar ?
tere haathoN men koi KHanjar o shamsheer nahiN

Khanjar o shamsheer yaa dashnah o shamsheer yaa nezah o shamsheer aapke mizaaj per munHaSir hei.

aik jugnu ne miri raah munawwar kar di
tum se ab shams o qamar Haajat e tanweer nahiN

Doosre miSreA meiN lafz "ab" ki bajaye "ai" behtar hei.

aap karte ho mire dard e jigar ka darmaaN
yeh koi khwaab hai aisi miri taqdeer nahiN

Pahle miSreA meiN lafz "ho" ki bajaaye "heiN" behtar hei warnah aap ke maAni "khud" ke liye jaayenge.

tum nahiN aaye magar aa gaya paiGHaam e ajal
ab to aa jao keh gunjaish e taaKHeer nahiN

achcha SeAr hei. waah waah.

kis liye karta phirooN men tujhe har shae men talaash?
"kiya mire dil meN tire Husn ki taSweer nahiN

Bahut hi khoob gireh lagaayi hei aap ne. kyaa kehne.

jaadah e Aam Husaini hai sukhun pardaazi
shairi GHalib o Iqbal ki jageer nahiN

MaqTaA Theek hei lekin is qism ke andaaz-e-bayaan se gurez karnaa chaahiye. apne buzurgaoN kaa agar ham iHtiraam nah kareN tou kaun karegaa.

MajmooAi Taur per aapki ghazal aek bahut hi kaamyaab kaavish hei.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[khozema husaini]

mohtaram nazir saheb
asalam alaikum
men aap ka bohat mamnoon hoon jo ap ne meri ghazal ko apne tabsare se nawaaza aap ki tajaweez ke mutabiq ashAar men tabdiliyan kar di heN aur maqta bhi tabdeel kar diya hai aaindah bhi is baat ka KHayaal rakhoonga bohat bohat shukriyah
talib e dua
husaini

[khozema husaini]

sara sahebah
aadaab
ghazal ki pasandeedgi aur hoSla afzaii ka bohat bohat shukriyah

Husaini

[zmufti]

Hussaini saheb
aap ki ghazal buhat pasand aayii
sabhi asha'ar achey haiN
mirri janib se daad qabool kijye
regards
zmufti

[khozema husaini]

mohtarmah zargah sahebah
aadaab
daad aur hoSlah afzaai ka bohat bohat shukriyah
husaini

[khozema husaini]

mohtarma dunnya sahebah
aadaab aap ki daad aur hoSlah afzaaii ka bohat bohat shukriyah
Husaini