ek nazm

[Shafeeq]

ahl-e-bazm,
tasleemaat.
az raah-e-talattuf jo aap sab ne mere ash’ar ki pazeeraii farmayi hai, qaabil-e-qadr hai.
m’arooza yeh hai ke computer se nawaaqifiyat ki bina par jawaab dene maiN baar baar taKheer hui hai. lihaaza m’uafi ka khwaastgaar huN. aur aaj Daanish hi ki madad se aap ki mehfil meiN chala aaya huN.
mukhtasar yeh ke computer se nabalad huN, aur filhaal az Khud aap se humkalaam nahiN ho sakta.
aap ki ilmiyat aur tanqeed_nigaari sar aankhoN par. aap ki islaahat aur mashware bakhushi qubool. Aur is par yeh ke mera dil inbisaat-o-ehsaanmandi ke jazbaat se labrez hai. kyoN na khush rahuN maiN ke “khayaal-e-Khaatir-e-ahbaab chaahiye har dum”.
ab do lafz meri ilmiyat ke bare meiN bhi sun lijiye. Faarsi se meri koi pehchaan nahiN. ChunaNche Urdu bhi mujh se pardah karti hai. ya’ni reKhta ke husn-e-maleeH se na_aashna huN. Urdu meiN shayr kehna mere liye suKhantaraaz hona nahiN hai bal’ke chiira_dasti par utar aana hai. na mehram jo Thhehra. adab A’aliya meiN meri par_shikastagi kisi tamSeeli pairaya-e-bayaan se kam nahiN. yahaN par tuul-e-kalaam maqsood nahiN hai. kehna mukhtasar yeh hai ke mehaz shayr kehne ki jasarat meiN kuchh bhi raqam shayari nahiN. ek muddat se paas-e-vaz’a majboor kar raha thha iqbaal-e-d’awa kar liya jaaye, sau woh aaj kar liya hai.

Urdu web sites ke rooh-e-rawaaN Sarwar Saheb aur Abdullah Naazir Saheb se t’aaruf haasil hona Khud apne aap meiN kisi ke liye ek ilmi tajruba hai. digar unfoos-e-m’amoor-e-hasti jaise Najm Hashmi, Sara Saheba, Jawed Badayuni Sunita Saheba, BG.M. Saheb,ne bhi apne zauq-e-shairi se in web sites ko zindah-o-jawed rakha hai--woh shama nahiN jis ki mehfil meiN parwaane na hoN. maiN aap sab parastaaran-e-adab ke is t’alluq-e-Khaatir par teh-e-dil se fardan fardan shukriyah adaa karta huN, ke aap ne mere kahe hu’e ko kalaam ka darja baKsha hai.

bazm-e-Urdu, paaindahbaad! Marhabaa ai mehfil-e-shayr-o-suKhan!
mutashayar,
Shafeeq Ahmed



khoi hui jannat

jaane kis jurm ki paadaash meiN yeh doori hai
maiN bhi jaanuN tau bhala kaun si majboori hai
sabab is ka miri naadaari-o-ghurbat tau nahiN
vajh is ki miri barbaadi-o-usrat tau nahiN
kho gayi hai jo fazaaoN meiN woh chaahat de de
mere mehboob mujhe pehli mohabbat de de

kya kahuN maine guzaara yeh zamaana kaisa
raah bhhaTke hu'e raahi ka Thhikaana kaisa
raas aaya na mujhe zehr bhi piina mera
haye yeh bhi koi jeene meiN hai jeena mera
aa bhi jaa phir mujhe jeene ki ijaazat de de
mere mehboob mujhe pehli mohabbat de de

gardish-e-waqt se Takraake pisa jaata huN
dasht-e-tanhaai meiN gum ho ke raha jaata huN
chil-chilaati hui is dhhoop meiN saaya karde
shab-e-gham meiN rukh-e-roshan se ujaala kar de
mujh se chheeni hai jo tu ne woh masarrat de de
mere mehboob mujhe pehli mohabbat de de

maiN kisi aur ka ai yaar nahiN ban sakta
bikte jismoN ka khareeddaar nahiN ban sakta
tere hote hu'e maiN kis liye harjaai huN
kaif-o-rumaan meiN duubi hui qismat de de
mere mehboob mujhe pehli mohabbat de de

haye woh shab mire qadmoN meiN paRi thhi duniya
simTi simTi miri baahoN meiN paRi thhi duniya
jab tire lab mire hontoN meiN dabe jaate thhe
sholay jab tere badan ke mujhe garmaate thhe
mujh ko haasil thhi jo pehle wohi qurbat de de
mere mehboob mujhe pehli mohabbat de de

yaad aata hai woh qad tera woh bahki hu'i chaal
roop chehre ka baRHaata hua woh rang-e-gulaal
usi andaaz se chal suu-e-chaman karke jatan
tu bhi aa meri taraf, rashk-e-chaman, karke jatan
jo basi thhi mere saansoN meiN woh nakhat de de
mere mehboob mujhe pehli mohabbat de de

gul se naazuk woh tira mehaka hu'a maah_badan
marmareeN jism se lipti hai woh bijli ki kiran
shaakh-e-gul ban ke lachakti hui woh patli kamar
baaNkpan apna dikhayeN woh jawaani ke camar
aa phir ik baar wohi husn ki daulat de de
mere mehboob mujhe pehli mohabbat de de

apni zulfoN ke mire dosh pe lahraane de
surmayi nain kaToroN ko bhi sharmane de
ujli baahoN ke hisaaroN bulaale mujh ko
le ke aaghosh-e-mohabbat meiN sulaale mujh ko
aaj phir mujhko woh bhooli hui lazzat de de
mere mehboob mujhe pehli mohabbat de de

kya hu'e tu ne jo paimaan-e-wafa baandhhe thhe
kya hu'e aah woh jo qaul-o-qasam tere thhe
ab yeh nafrat yeh taghaaful yeh khiNchaawaT kaisi
mujhs se milne meiN yeh zehmat yeh rukaawaT kaisi
de de mujh ko miri khoi hu'i jannat de de
mere mehboob mujhe pehli mohabbat de de



Shafeeq Ahmed
Post Box:174
G.P.O.
Hyderabad-500 001
India

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtarami
Shafeeq SaaHib,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aap ne apni baleegh tamheed mein mujh Taalib-e-ilm kaa naam shaamil farmaakar mujhe sharmindah kardiyaa hei. MaiN apne aHbaab-e-sukhan ki vajh se urdu meiN kuch likhne paRhne aur samajhne ke qaabil hooN aur inhi ke dam se hameshah kuch nah kuch seekhne ko miltaa hei.

Aapki nazm jiska unwaan Milton ki kitaab "Paradise Lost" kaa tarjumah hei bahut ziyaadah pasand aayi jiske liye khaaksaar ki dili daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.

MUKHTASAR MULAAHIZAAT:

kya kahuN maine guzaara hai yeh zamaana kaisa

Is miSreA meiN lafz "hei" ziyaadah hougayaa hei jis ki vajh se miSraA be-beHr hourahaa hei. Isko edit karke durust farmaaleejiye.

tere hote hu'e maiN kis liye harjaai huN

lafz "hooN" se izhaar hourahaa hei keh shaayer harjaayi hei. Agar aap yooN kehte to yeh ibhaam zaayil houjaata:
tere hote hu'e maiN kis liye harjaai banooN

jo basi thhi mere saansoN meiN woh nakhat de de

Lafz "miri" ko aap ne "mere" type kiyaa hei jisko umooman loag "maire" paRhte heiN.

apni zulfoN ke mire dosh pe lahraane de

lafz "ko" ki jagah "ke" type hougayaa hei, taSHeeH farmaaleejiyhe.

ujli baahoN ke hisaaroN bulaale mujh ko

Lafz "hiSaaraoN" ke baAd lafz "meiN" chooT gayaa hei. Izaafah karleejiye.

mujhs se milne meiN yeh zehmat yeh rukaawaT kaisi

Zaahir hei is miSreA meiN "mujh" ki bajaaye "mujhs" type hougayaa hei jisko qaaryeen samajh sakte heiN.

Agar aapko meri koii baat naamunaasib maAloom hou tou usko mere jehl per meHmool keejiye.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.