aaNkhooN meN kisee ne mire d'ar dekh~ liyaa hai

[Raji]

Azeezan-e-bazm:

Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,

chand roz qabl urduduniya kee saaligirah ke liye ek choTee see koshish kee thee. waqt kee kaamii aur maSroofiyat kee Ziyadtee ke sabab is peh utnee meHnat nah kar sakee jitnee keh karne ka Haq thaa. lekin umeed kartee hooN ke is meHfil ke eHbaab ise behtar banane meN meree rehnumayii zaroor farmaheNge.

mamnoon-o-taalib-e-dua'a

Zahida Raees :Raji:


Ghazal:
~~~~~~

aaNkhooN meN kisee ne mire d'ar dekh~ liyaa hai
qismat ke sitaarooN kaa safar dekh~ liyaa hai

ik d'oobtee kashtee ko bachaane kee sa'aee thee
saaHil se jise tum ne, bhanwar dekh~ liyaa hai

ham apnii Haqeeqat ke liye aap bohat heN
tum ne tu najaane yeh kidhar dekh~ liyaa hai

jeene ke liye ek bahaanah thaa Z^aroori
so ham ne tumheN ek naZar dekh~ liyaa hai

shat^ranj peh jeevan ke har ik shaKhS hai mohrah
tum ne tu faqat ek amar dekh~ liyaa hai


t^oofaan kaa ruKh~ jab se hoovaa hai miri jaanib
eHsaas ne aazurdah jigar dekh~ liyaa hai

lafZooN kee Haqeeqat se uTh~ayaa hai jo pardaa
har shaKhS kee baatooN kaa hunar dekh~ liyaa hai


darkaar hai sab ko isee dhartee peh Thikaanaa
ham ne magar aakaash peh ghar dekh~ liyaa hai

kuch bhi azaabooN meN sarabooN kee Haqeeqat
KhwabooN ne mirii shab ko saHar dekh~ liyaa hai


is shab ke andh~eray ko koyii cheer de :Raaji:
KhwabooN ne ujaale kaa safar dekh~ liyaa hai


(Zahida Raees :Raji: )

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtaramah Raji SaaHibah,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal pasand aayi jiske liye meri dili daad aur mubaarakbaa qubool farmaayiye.

MULAAHIZAAT:

aaNkhooN meN kisee ne mire d'ar dekh~ liyaa hai
qismat ke sitaarooN kaa safar dekh~ liyaa hai

Pahle miSreA meiN "mire" ghalaTi se TabA hougayaa hei shaayad. Usko "miri" karleejiye. Achcha MaTlaA hei, waah waah.

ik d'oobtee kashtee ko bachaane kee sa'aee thee
saaHil se jise tum ne, bhanwar dekh~ liyaa hai

Lafz "saAi" boul chaal meiN isteAmaal houtaa hei lekin SaHeeH "saAy" hei. Jaise "saAy-e-laaHaaSil" meiN.

ham apnii Haqeeqat ke liye aap bohat heN
tum ne tu najaane yeh kidhar dekh~ liyaa hai

Doosre miSreA meiN "yeh" se kyaa muraad hei, baat vaaZeh nahiN hourahi hei.

jeene ke liye ek bahaanah thaa Z^aroori
so ham ne tumheN ek naZar dekh~ liyaa hai

Achcha sheAr hei, waah waah.

shat^ranj peh jeevan ke har ik shaKhS hai mohrah
tum ne tu faqat ek amar dekh~ liyaa hai

Is sheAr kaa mafhooM vaaZeH nahiN hei, khaaSkar doosre miSreA kaa.

t^oofaan kaa ruKh~ jab se hoovaa hai miri jaanib
eHsaas ne aazurdah jigar dekh~ liyaa hai

Achcha sheAr hei, waah waah.

lafZooN kee Haqeeqat se uTh~ayaa hai jo pardaa
har shaKhS kee baatooN kaa hunar dekh~ liyaa hai

Bahut khoob, waah waah.

darkaar hai sab ko isee dhartee peh Thikaanaa
ham ne magar aakaash peh ghar dekh~ liyaa hai

Mubaarak ho, bahut khoob.

kuch bhi azaabooN meN sarabooN kee Haqeeqat
KhwabooN ne mirii shab ko saHar dekh~ liyaa hai

Pahle miSre meiN lafz "bhi" ke fauran baAd "ho" ki kami hei.

is shab ke andh~eray ko koyii cheer de :Raaji:
KhwabooN ne ujaale kaa safar dekh~ liyaa hai

Achcha maqTaA hei. Waah.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[Raji]

moHtaram janab-e-Abdullah Nazir SaaHeb:
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,

apnii is Ghazal par aap ka tabSarh dekh~ kar be-Had Khushii hoovii.
aap ka tabSarah bohat pasand aaYaa aur maiN aap kee bohat shukrguazar hooN.

jin do miSrooN kee babat aap ne mazeed vaZaHat t'alab kee hai uske Hawale se donoN ashaar meN chand SoorateN samajh aayii heN aap se guzarish hai keh jo bhi Soorat sab se ziyadah munasib ho aap muntaKhib kar ke meree rehnumayii keejiye, aap kee bohat manmoon hooNgii.

ham apnii Haqeeqat ke liye aap bohat heN
kyaa jaane hameN tum ne kidhar dekh~ liyaa hai
kyaa jaane zamaane ne kidhar dekh liyaa hai
tum ne hameN kyaa jaane kidhar dekh~ liyaa hai



shat^ranj peh jeevan ke har ik shaKhS hai mohrah
qudrat kaa ajab yeh bhi hunar dekh~ liyaa hai
insaan ne qudrat ka hunar dekh~ liyaa hai



mamnoon-o-taalib-e-dua'a

Zahida Raees :Raji:

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtaramah
Raji SaaHibah,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aapke javaab ke liye shukrguzaar hooN.

Aap ne likhkhaa hei:

ham apnii Haqeeqat ke liye aap bohat heN
kyaa jaane hameN tum ne kidhar dekh~ liyaa hai
kyaa jaane zamaane ne kidhar dekh liyaa hai
tum ne hameN kyaa jaane kidhar dekh~ liyaa hai

Aapke miSrAoN meiN se pahla yaa teesra ikhtiyaar karsakti heiN. Saath hi saath agar sheAr ke pahle miSreA ko yooN vaaZeh kardeN to behtar hougaa:
ham apni Haqeeqat se bahut khoob heiN waaqif
Waise aapki marZi.



shat^ranj peh jeevan ke har ik shaKhS hai mohrah
qudrat kaa ajab yeh bhi hunar dekh~ liyaa hai
insaan ne qudrat ka hunar dekh~ liyaa hai

Is sheAr meiN aapke likhkhe houe donoN miSrAe achche heiN lekin pahle miSreA ko yooN kardeN to behtar hei:
Qudrat kaa Ajab ham ne hunar dekh liyaa hei.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[Mahtab Qadr]

wah wah bahut khoob Raji sahiba saari ghazal bahut murassa hai , khas taur par ye ashaar bahut pasand aaye

aaNkhooN meN kisee ne mire d'ar dekh~ liyaa hai
qismat ke sitaarooN kaa safar dekh~ liyaa hai

ik d'oobtee kashtee ko bachaane kee sa'aee thee
saaHil se jise tum ne, bhanwar dekh~ liyaa hai


jeene ke liye aik bahaanah thaa Z^aroori
so ham ne tumheN aik naZar dekh~ liyaa hai

shukria
Mahtab Qadr

[Raji]

MuHtaramah
Raji SaaHibah,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aapke javaab ke liye shukrguzaar hooN.

Aap ne likhkhaa hei:

ham apnii Haqeeqat ke liye aap bohat heN
kyaa jaane hameN tum ne kidhar dekh~ liyaa hai
kyaa jaane zamaane ne kidhar dekh liyaa hai
tum ne hameN kyaa jaane kidhar dekh~ liyaa hai

Aapke miSrAoN meiN se pahla yaa teesra ikhtiyaar karsakti heiN. Saath hi saath agar sheAr ke pahle miSreA ko yooN vaaZeh kardeN to behtar hougaa:
ham apni Haqeeqat se bahut khoob heiN waaqif
Waise aapki marZi.

shat^ranj peh jeevan ke har ik shaKhS hai mohrah
qudrat kaa ajab yeh bhi hunar dekh~ liyaa hai
insaan ne qudrat ka hunar dekh~ liyaa hai

Is sheAr meiN aapke likhkhe houe donoN miSrAe achche heiN lekin pahle miSreA ko yooN kardeN to behtar hei:
Qudrat kaa Ajab ham ne hunar dekh liyaa hei.


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

moHtaram janab-e-Abdullah Nazir SaaHeb:
Aadaab-o-tasleemaat,
jawaabii Khat ke liye aap kee bohat shukrguzaar hooN.
taKheer se likhne kee vajah yeh thee keh maiN is Ghazal ko urdu version meN durust karnaa chah rahii thee lekin poorii Ghazal inpage meN type karne ke ba'ad ghar ka PC electricity breakdown kee vajah se dead ho gayaa hai. do ek roz meN Teak ho jaaYe gaa. choNkeh pahle se hee Khat ka jawab dene meN kaafi taaKheer ho chukii thee is liye maiN roman meN hee aap ko revised version check karvaa rahii hooN.
meree muntaKhib SoorateN yeh heN:

ham apnii Haqeeqat ke liye aap bohat heN
tum ne hameN kyaa jaane kidhar dekh~ liyaa hai

shat^ranj peh jeevan ke har ik shaKhS hai mohrah
Qudrat kaa Ajab ham ne hunar dekh liyaa hai


pahle she'r ke awwal miSrah kee aap ne ek aur Soorat bhi tajveez kee hai lekin mujhe yooN lagaa keh yeh mere Khayal se muKhtalif hai. mere she'r meN kehne ka maqSad yeh hai keh "maiN apnii Haqeeqat ke liye aap bohat hooN yanii mujhe meree hee zaat se pehchanaa jaa saktaa hai ab najaane tum ne hameN kahaN dekh liyaa hai "

Ghazal kee mukammal taur par nayee Soorat darj-e-zeyl hai:



Ghazal:
~~~~~
aaNkhooN meN kisee ne miri d'ar dekh~ liyaa hai
qismat ke sitaarooN kaa safar dekh~ liyaa hai


ik d'oobtee kashtee ko bachaane kee thee koshish
saaHil se jise tum ne, bhanwar dekh~ liyaa hai

ham apnii Haqeeqat ke liye aap bohat heN
tum ne hameN kyaa jaane kidhar dekh~ liyaa hai

jeene ke liye ek bahaanah thaa Z^aroori
so ham ne tumheN ek naZar dekh~ liyaa hai


shat^ranj peh jeevan ke har ik shaKhS hai mohrah
Qudrat kaa Ajab ham ne hunar dekh liyaa hai


t^oofaan kaa ruKh~ jab se hoovaa hai miri jaanib
eHsaas ne aazurdah jigar dekh~ liyaa hai


lafZooN kee Haqeeqat se uTh~ayaa hai jo pardaa
har shaKhS kee baatooN kaa hunar dekh~ liyaa hai


darkaar hai sab ko isee dhartee peh Thikaanaa
ham ne magar aakaash peh ghar dekh~ liyaa hai


kuch bhi ho azaabooN meN sarabooN kee Haqeeqat
KhwabooN ne mirii shab ko saHar dekh~ liyaa hai


is shab ke andh~eray ko koyii cheer de :Raaji:
KhwabooN ne ujaale kaa safar dekh~ liyaa hai

(Zahida Raees :Raji: )


aap kee aaraa aur rehnumayii ke liye ek baar phir aap ka ta-e-dil se shukriyah adaa kartee hooN.

mamnoon-o-taalib-e-dua'a

Zahida Raees :Raji

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtaramah
Raji SaaHibah,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat,

Aapke javaab ke liye shukrguzaar hooN.

Ghazl bilkul durust hougayi hei lekin aek lafz mandarja-e-zeil miSreA meiN boul chaal kaa hei "sa'Aee" jo aap ne "kamee" ke vazn per isteAmaal kiyaa hei. ASl lafz meiN Harf "Ain" per jazm yaAni sukoon hei.

ik d'oobtee kashtee ko bachaane kee sa'aYee thee

Isko agar aap durust karnaa chaaheN to yooN karsakti heiN:

ik d'oobtee kashtee ko bachaane kee thee koushish


Aapka MukhliS,
Nazir.

[Raji]

moHtaram janab-e-Abdullah Nazir SaaHeb:

ek baar phir KhuSooSii taSa'eeH ke liye aap ka shukriyah adaa karnaa chahtee hooN.

jee maiN ne Ghazal ke mazkoorah miSrah meN tarmeem kar dee hai.
umeed hai keh ab is meN koyii aur kamii yaa Khaamii baaqii naheeN ho gii.


mamnoon-o-taalib-e-dua'a

Zahida Raees :Raji:

[tahira Masood]

Raji behan

salaam

mashallah bohat hi khoobsurat kalaam hai aap kaa.
saare ashaar laa jawaab haiN

magar yeh ashaar bohat achae heN

daad qabuul fermaain


jeene e ke liye ek bahaanah thaa Z^aroori
so ham ne tumheN ek naZar dekh~ liyaa hai

lafZooN kee Haqeeqat se uTh~ayaa hai jo pardaa
har shaKhS kee baatooN kaa hunar dekh~ liyaa hai


darkaar hai sab ko isee dhartee peh Thikaanaa
ham ne magar aakaash peh ghar dekh~ liyaa hai



waaaaah daad Haazir hai jee

wassalam

[Raji]

Dear Raji,

wah wah! kya kehne ab tou aapki shayari mein aapke ustad Sarwar sahib ki jhalak nazar aane lagi hei.

is khoobsurat takhleeq per dili daad aur mubarakbaad
qubool keejiye :rose .

sara

Azeezah Sara Sis:
Aadaab,

taKheer se Khat ka jawab dene ke liye meree ma'azrat qubool keejiye.

aap ko meree yeh adnaa se koshish pasand aaYii yeh jaan kar be-Had Khushii hoovii.

sis yeh kyaa keh rahii heN aap? maiN aur mere Ustaad-e-moHtaram Sarwar SaaHeb ke rang meN....

aray sis jis din maiN waqaaii meN aisaa karne meN kaamyaab ho gayii tu samajh jaaahiYe maiN apnii GhazlooN ko SaaHeH ma'anooN meN GhazleN samajhne lagooNgii.

aap kee muKhliSanaah daad aur mubarakbaad ke liye dil kee gehrahiyoN se aap kee shurkguzaar hooN.

mamnoon-o-taalib-e-dua'a

Zahida Raees :Raji: