assalam o alaikum dostoo!
kahin koye samandar ho wali nazam mein nay afkar e nau mein pesh ki thee , asatza karam ki darustagee kay baad yeh nazam kuch behter rang o roop mein aa gaye hay jo aap hazraat kay samnay pesh kernay ki jasarat ker rehaa hoon , tabdeel shuda nazam per apnay apnay tabsaroon say zuroor nawazyee takeh mujhay maloom paray keh aozaan ki jo ghaltian mein nay darust ki hein asatzaa ki taleemaat ki roshni mein kia woh darust hein , umeed hay aap loog nazam kay baray main apni raye zuroor pesh kerain gay , buhut shukria..
waqar masood
nazam ka roman version bhi pesh ker reha hoon..
kaheen koye samandar ho
kaheen koye kinara ho
kaheen qudrat kay manzar ka
koye dil kash nazaraa ho
kaheen bheegay say badal nay
koyee mosam sanwara ho
koye sundar sa moti ho
koyee roshan sitara ho
kisi chashmay mein qudrat nay
dhanak say rang utara ho
kaheen jugnoo chamaktay hoon
ya pholoon ka gehwaraa ho
usee lamhay sanam meray
mujhay tum yaad atay ho
mujhay tum...........
(waqar masood khan)
kahin koye samandar ho ( wazan ki darustagi kay baad )
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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Aek misreA ko badal deejiye
MuHtarami
WAQAR MASOOD Saahib,
Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,
Aapkin nazm ab bahut achchi hougaii hei siwaye aik misreA ke jo vazn se khaarij hei aur wo hei:
yaa phoolaoN ka gehwaaraa hou
Dar asl is beHr ke lihaaz se gehwaaraa qaafiye ke taur per isteAmaal nahiN kiyaa jaasktaa. Is liye meri tajveez yeh hei ke aap usko mandarja-e-zail misreA se badal deN:
ya taaraoN kaa ishaaraa hou
taaraoN kaa ishaaraa, jugnaoaoN ke chamakne se munaasib bhii maloom houtaa hei kiyoonkeh dounoN kaa taAlluq raat se hei.
Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.[/i]