Guzaarish # 2

Tarhi Moshaairah -ShoAaraa aur Shayeraat kii TabAaazmayi ke liye

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tahira Masood
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Guzaarish # 2

Post by tahira Masood »


-1
kaisa peRa hai dil yeh meraa iztiraab meN
kaT'tay raat din meray goyaa Azaab meN
-2
us ko merae wajuud hi ki qader nahin
"dil kis Hisaab meN hai jigar ksi Hisaab meN?"
-3
meHshar k roz ho gaa so ho gaa magar mujhae
karde nah mubtalaa miri miTTi, Azaab meiN

-4
duniyaa kaa Haal dekh ker maiN sochtee hoN yeh
aa jaaey nah kahin yeh Khudaa k Ataab meN
-5
maazi ko dekhtee hoN palatt k jo maiN kabhi
lagtaa hai jaisae guzraa ho Aalam yeh khwaab meN

Last edited by tahira Masood on Wed Feb 23, 2005 8:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Abdullah Nazir
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Aapki TaraHi ghazal

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramah
Tahira Masood Saahibah

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki TaraHi ghazal bahut hii achchi hei jiske liye meri daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye. MaiN apne tabsire se qabl yeh kehna chaahtaa hooN ke meri aaraa se aapka muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN.


1
kaisa peRa hai dil yeh meraa iztiraab meN
kaT'tay raat din meray goyaa Azaab meN



Pahlaa misraA vazn meiN hei lekin doosre misreA ke vazn kii takmeel ke liye aik lafz "heiN" kii kami hei. Agar "kaTtay" ke fauran ba'd "heiN" kaa izaafah kardiyaa jaaye tou sheAr vazn meiN aajayegaa.
Ab sheAr kii ibaarat ke baare meiN ghaur kareN tou patah chaltaa hei ke pahle misreA meiN ibaarat lafz "yeh" ke baghair poori housakti hei lekin meHZ vazn ke liye iski zaroorat paish aarahi hei. Waise hii lafz "meraa" kii zaroorat nahiN meHsoos houti kiyooNkeh doosre misreA meiN is kii vazaHat lafz "meray" se houjaati hei. (aap apni fikr ke liHaaz se is sheAr kii tasHeeH karsakti heiN). Meri tajveez yooN hei:
Tum ne jo dil ko Daal diyaa iZTiraab meiN
KaTte heiN raat din mere gouyaa Azaab meiN

-2
us ko merae wajuud hi ki qader nahin
"dil kis Hisaab meN hai jigar ksi Hisaab meN?"



Gireh kaa misraA vazn meiN nahiN hei. Ibaarat bhii khaas nahiN hei.
Meri tajveez yooN hei:
Uski nazar meiN kuch nahiN meraa vajood tak

-3
meHshar k roz ho gaa so ho gaa magar mujhae
Allah panaah denaa qabar k Azaab meN



SheAr kaa doosraa misraA vazn meiN nahiN. Wo is liye keh lafz 'qabar" nahiN balkeh "qabr" hei yani harf 'bey' per zabar nahiN balkeh jazm hei. Doosre, Allah se panaah Talab kii jaarahi hei qabr ke Azaab se jis ko aap ne radeef ko nibhaane ke liye "azaab meiN" kardiyaa hei. Doosre misreA ke liye filwaqt meri nazar meiN jou Hal hei wo kuch yooN hei:
karde nah mubtalaa miri miTTi, Azaab meiN

-4
duniyaa kaa Haal dekh ker maiN sochtee hoN yeh
aa jaaey nah kahin yeh Khudaa k Ataab meN



Pahle misreA meiN lafz "ker" ke bajaaye "ke" hou tou vazn Theek houjaataa hei. Doosre misreA ko behtar banaane ke liye usko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei:
aajaaye bhool se, nah Khudaa ke Aitaab meiN

-5
maazi ko dekhtee hoN palatt k jo maiN kabhi
lagtaa hai jaisae guzraa ho Aalam yeh khwaab meN



SheAr kaa mazmoon bahut achcha hei aur vazn bhii baraabar hei.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
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irfan barabankwi
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bahut khoob

Post by irfan barabankwi »

mohtaramah

TAHIRA MASOOD
SAAHIBAH

purkhuloss tasleemat


aapki ghazal nazar nawaz hoi. aapney aik achhi koshish ki hai. dili daad hazir hai. mohtaram nazir saahib ke mashwiroN per Amal kareiN aur mashq-e-sukhan jari rakhkheiN. raftah raftah kamaal aata hai.

khair andaish

irfan barabankwi
iHtisab apne naqaayis ka mujhe aataa hei
Saare Aalam ki maiN taqseer kahaN tak dekhuN
Irfan Barabankwi.
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tahira Masood
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Re: Aapki TaraHi ghazal

Post by tahira Masood »

Abdullah Nazir wrote:
MuHtaramah
Tahira Masood Saahibah

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki TaraHi ghazal bahut hii achchi hei jiske liye meri daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye. MaiN apne tabsire se qabl yeh kehna chaahtaa hooN ke meri aaraa se aapka muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN.


1
kaisa peRa hai dil yeh meraa iztiraab meN
kaT'tay raat din meray goyaa Azaab meN



Pahlaa misraA vazn meiN hei lekin doosre misreA ke vazn kii takmeel ke liye aik lafz "heiN" kii kami hei. Agar "kaTtay" ke fauran ba'd "heiN" kaa izaafah kardiyaa jaaye tou sheAr vazn meiN aajayegaa.
Ab sheAr kii ibaarat ke baare meiN ghaur kareN tou patah chaltaa hei ke pahle misreA meiN ibaarat lafz "yeh" ke baghair poori housakti hei lekin meHZ vazn ke liye iski zaroorat paish aarahi hei. Waise hii lafz "meraa" kii zaroorat nahiN meHsoos houti kiyooNkeh doosre misreA meiN is kii vazaHat lafz "meray" se houjaati hei. (aap apni fikr ke liHaaz se is sheAr kii tasHeeH karsakti heiN). Meri tajveez yooN hei:
Tum ne jo dil ko Daal diyaa iZTiraab meiN
KaTte heiN raat din mere gouyaa Azaab meiN

-2
us ko merae wajuud hi ki qader nahin
"dil kis Hisaab meN hai jigar ksi Hisaab meN?"



Gireh kaa misraA vazn meiN nahiN hei. Ibaarat bhii khaas nahiN hei.
Meri tajveez yooN hei:
Uski nazar meiN kuch nahiN meraa vajood tak

-3
meHshar k roz ho gaa so ho gaa magar mujhae
Allah panaah denaa qabar k Azaab meN



SheAr kaa doosraa misraA vazn meiN nahiN. Wo is liye keh lafz 'qabar" nahiN balkeh "qabr" hei yani harf 'bey' per zabar nahiN balkeh jazm hei. Doosre, Allah se panaah Talab kii jaarahi hei qabr ke Azaab se jis ko aap ne radeef ko nibhaane ke liye "azaab meiN" kardiyaa hei. Doosre misreA ke liye filwaqt meri nazar meiN jou Hal hei wo kuch yooN hei:
karde nah mubtalaa miri miTTi, Azaab meiN

-4
duniyaa kaa Haal dekh ker maiN sochtee hoN yeh
aa jaaey nah kahin yeh Khudaa k Ataab meN



Pahle misreA meiN lafz "ker" ke bajaaye "ke" hou tou vazn Theek houjaataa hei. Doosre misreA ko behtar banaane ke liye usko yooN kiyaa jaasaktaa hei:
aajaaye bhool se, nah Khudaa ke Aitaab meiN

-5
maazi ko dekhtee hoN palatt k jo maiN kabhi
lagtaa hai jaisae guzraa ho Aalam yeh khwaab meN



SheAr kaa mazmoon bahut achcha hei aur vazn bhii baraabar hei.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Mukarram-o-moHteram Nazir saheb

asslamo Alaikum w.w

meN beHad mamnoon hoN keh aap nae az khood mere es kalaam per tawaajo fermaaee.

shuru k shaer k misrae meN typing error thaa. shuekriay keh aap nae nishadahi fermaa di.

mukhtalif jaghoN per iSlah mere ilm me n izaafae kaa baic huee.

Jazakallaho khairan kaceeran kaceerah.

aameen

ummeed hai keh ayndah bhi es shafqat kaa izhaar fermaate rehaiN gey.

wassalam

Naik duaoN k saath
Last edited by tahira Masood on Fri Feb 25, 2005 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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tahira Masood
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Re: bahut khoob

Post by tahira Masood »

irfan barabankwi wrote:mohtaramah

TAHIRA MASOOD
SAAHIBAH

purkhuloss tasleemat


aapki ghazal nazar nawaz hoi. aapney aik achhi koshish ki hai. dili daad hazir hai. mohtaram nazir saahib ke mashwiroN per Amal kareiN aur mashq-e-sukhan jari rakhkheiN. raftah raftah kamaal aata hai.

khair andaish

irfan barabankwi
moHteram

salaam-e-khuloos

aap donoN Hazraat nae nae es naacheez si koshihs per raeaay de ker es ko mo'atber ker diyaahai.

main teh-e-dil sae aap k es aHsaan peh mashkoor hoN.


Jazaakallaho Kahiran kaceeran kaceerah.Allahumaa aameen
wassalam
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Shummu
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Re: Guzaarish # 2

Post by Shummu »

tahira Masood wrote:
-1
kaisa peRa hai dil yeh meraa iztiraab meN
kaT'tay raat din meray goyaa Azaab meN
-2
us ko merae wajuud hi ki qader nahin
"dil kis Hisaab meN hai jigar ksi Hisaab meN?"
-3
meHshar k roz ho gaa so ho gaa magar mujhae
Allah panaah denaa qabar k Azaab meN
-4
duniyaa kaa Haal dekh ker maiN sochtee hoN yeh
aa jaaey nah kahin yeh Khudaa k Ataab meN
-5
maazi ko dekhtee hoN palatt k jo maiN kabhi
lagtaa hai jaisae guzraa ho Aalam yeh khwaab meN


wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Tahira sia..ek aur zabardast ghazla kahi hai aapne...giraah bahut pasand aayi....bahut daad haazir hai is umda kaavish par....zor-e-qalam aur ziyaada :-D

Shumaila

Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai

Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
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