laraz rahaa hai dil-e-sogawaar aaNkh`oN meN!

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

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muhammad_19k
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Post by muhammad_19k »



Mohtaram Jawaid Sahib ke leeaye [/red]

Sir barwaqt nishandahi par meiN aap ka bhi teh e dil se shukar guzar hooN.


Mujhe aapke garNqadr tabsarey per koii e'traaz nahiN. Yeh aap ka haq hai.


Sir yaqeen janiaye meiN tabsara bilkul nahi kar rahaa tha

Sarwar Raz SaHab ka mizaj kuch aisa hai ke woh tanqeed ko tAAreeef per tarjeeh dete haiN. Albatta aapke lub.o.lahje ne pahle Nazir Sahab ko aur ab mujhe kuch likhne per majboor kar diya hai.[/qutoe]

ubb muje apni naahli apni khusqismati lag rahee jis ne mujhe iss paa-aye ke logoaN ke roobaroo kar diya :-)

Azeezam, Sarwar SaHab ek nihayat kohna mashq buzurg shayar haiN jinki darjanoN taSneefaat haiN. In maHafil meN woh hamarey liye ek n'emat haiN. Mujhe Khood sher kahte 35 saal ho gaye magar hameshah Abdullah Nazir Sahab ya Sarwar Raz SaHab se kuch na kuch seekhne ki koshish karta hooN. Allah in donoN buzurgoN ko umr-e toolani ataa farmaye.


Ameen. Allah rab ul izzat ka ehsaan e azeem hei ke ilm o hunar ke sar chasme hamare ird gird hi mojood haiN. oar ye bhi aik massadiqa haqeet hei ke har shakhs apne zaraf ke mutabiq hi seekhtaa hei. mere leeaye dua go rahiaye ga ke meiN baa-adab rahooN ta ke khosha cheeni ka husn barqarar rahe.

Aap se mera iltemas hai tabsarey zaroor bhejiye magar shayar ki mashq, ooski umr, aur ooski azmat ko nazar andaaz na kijiye aur jo bhi kahna hai zara eHtraam ke saath kahiyega.
Mein pehle hi guzaarish kar chukaa hooN ke meri neeyat qatt-Aan tabsaraa ki na thi oar na hi meiN iss kabil hooN. aap ke comments se aik oar sawal mere zahan meiN aa raha hei. aap ki shafqat ke mad e nazr rakhte huway pooch rahaa hooN.

"ke kissi ghazal par jo tabsiraa likhaa jaataa hei uss ka diara-e-kaar ghazal ke muhasan oar fan hota hei ke shair kaa.?". Kia jo mubassar shaAer ke adbi kad kaath ka asar mein rehte huway tabsera kare, uss ka tabsaraa fun ke saath insaaf ho ga?"

meiN iss baat se kattan inkaari nahi ke "adab pehlaa kareena hei"

iss tarah meri rahnamai farmaate rahiaye ga.

aap ka shukar guzar,
Muhammad Khawar [/size][/color][/b]
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Abdullah Nazir
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achchaa sawaal hei lekin iski jagah kaheeN aur hei

Post by Abdullah Nazir »



Janab Khawar SaaHib,

Tasleemaat,

Aap ne likhkhaa hei:

Sir aap ki hadayat sir aakhoaN par.

Bus aap se aik darkhaast hei, mujhe naa-ahal samjhiaye. naa laaique samjhiaye, bay aqal samjhiaye, laa ilm samjhiaye. Laikin badtameez na samjhiaye.

Sir aik baat ki vazhat karaiN toa mazeed mashkoor hooN gaa. aap ne likha

Aapka muTaaliAah waseeA hougaa tou patah chalegaa keh jin khayaalaat ko ham bahut se baRe shoAaraa ke munfarid mazaameen samajhte heiN un se pahle kisi nah kisi andaaz meiN bayaan houchuke heiN.

Toa sir kia iss ka matlab huwa ke naya khayal na-paid ho chuka hei? meiN ne kissi jaga parha ke ghazal meiN Meer ki shairi ke baad log yehi samajhen lage thay ke ubb koi kia likhe gaa. Laikin phir waqt ne aik "Ghalib" diya. kia aisa nahi hie?

Mein yahaaN seekhne ke leeaye hi ayaa hooN. Jo alfaaz ki tabdeeli waghiara meiN ne likhi woah sir yehi jaan-ne ke leeaye thi ke ke kuhna mashaq shair agar ye alfaaz oar khayal istemaal kar rahaa hei to uss ki kia wajaa hei.

umeed kartaa hoaN ke aaap logoaN ke nazar oar suhbat meiN rahooN ga to bohat jald "theek" ho ja-ooN ga

Shkar guzar,
Muhammad Khawar.



MaiN ne aek Aam baat kee hei. Aapko samjhaane ke liye kuch aur likhna paRrahaa hei.

Baqaul Mirzaa Ghaalib "maiN ne majnooN peh laRakpan meiN asad……sang uThaayaa thaa ke sar yaad aayaa"

LaRakpan meiN aek kitaab mere haath lagi thee jis meiN likhaa houaa thaa "Lady Burton" kaa qaul:

He who knows and knows not he knows, he is sleeping wake him.
He He who knows not and knows he knows not, he is simple teach him.
He who knows not and knows not he knows not, he is foolish shun him.
He who knows and knows he knows, he is wise follow him.


Is qaul ko maiN doust aHbaab ke saamne duhraataa rahaa aur yeh samajhtaa rahaa ke yeh qaul us kii taareekh ke liHaaz se waaqaAi bahut zaburdast thaa.

Vohi qaul maiN ne apne waalid-e-muHtaram ko mukhatib karte houe tarjumeh ke saath sunaayaa.

Javaab milaa ke bilkul yehi qaul Arabi meiN ibn-al-Arabi kaa hei jou bahut qadeem zamaane kaa heiN.

Isi TaraH shaayeri meiN bahut se khayaalaat milte heiN koii yeh daAwa nahiN karsaktaa ke uskaa khayaal bilkul nayaa hei aur waisaa maZmoon us se pahle ke kisi shaayer ke paas nahiN miltaa.

Aap ne seekhne kaa jo raastah ikhtiyaar kiyaa hei wo aapkaa apnaa hei. Aap uske moojid heiN. Her shakhS ko Haq hei ke kisi ke bataaye houe raastaoN per chale yaa khud apne raaste per chalkar bhaTaktaa rahe yaa manzil tak pahounch jaaye.


Aapkaa MukhliS,
Nazir.

Last edited by Abdullah Nazir on Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:09 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Sarwar A. Raz
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Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

muhammad_19k wrote:

Mohtaram Sarwar Raaz Sahib ke leeaye

[/red]

Sir,

Mien aap ki tahmmul mazaji par be intehaa shukr guzaar hooN.


aap ke uThaaYe huwe nikaat ke jawaab dene kee koshish kartaa hooN.


Sir meiN ne har giz oar har giz nakaat naheeN uthaa-aye the. sirf nikaat ki vazaahaat chahi thii ke mujh jaise koRh maghaz ke damaagh meiN bhi koi baat aa-ja-aye. Laikin ubb usaatza ki response daikh kar yaqeen ho chala hei ke mere andaaz meiN zaroor koi naa koi khaami thi jis kee leeaye meiN maazrat kha hooN.

Urdu shaa,i'ree meN ab shaayad hee koyee aisaa Khayaal ho gaa jo kisee nah kisee na baaNdhaa nah ho. goyaa Ghazal ke imkaanaat ab andaaz-e-bayaaN tak hee meHdood ho kar reh gaYe haiN. meraa andaaz aur alfaaz^ kaa intiKhaab agar is nuqtah-e-nigaah se dekheN to she'r aap ko achhaa lage gaa!


Sir vohi sawal mere zahan meiN dobaara uthh rahaa hei. ke kya ubb na-aye khayal na paid ho gia hai?


Khudee/beKhudee: hamaaree zabaan kaa HiSSah haiN. Iqbal ke ista'maal ke ba'd in kee ma'nawiyyat to Khatm naheeN ho jaatee aur nah in kaa ista'maal qaabil-e-e'tiraaZ^ qaraar paataa hai. reh gayaa qaaree kee pasand kaa sawaal to she'r maiN yeh soch kar naheeN kehtaa hooN keh qaaree ko kyaa pasand ho gaa aur kyaa naa-pasand. she'r to maiN apne Zauq kee aasoodagee ke liYe kehtaa hooN! doosroN ko choRiYe aur yeh bataa,iYe keh Khud aap ko yeh she'r kaisaa lagaa?


mein aap se aik baar phir darkhaast karooN ga ke khuda rah isse behas waghaira ke zimre meiN na la-aye ga. meiN sirf kuch cheezoaN ki vazaahat muttalim hone ki hasiat se chahtaa hooN oar uss marhale maiN jo sawalat zahan mein aate jaa rahaiN hain, poochtaa ja rahaa hooN.

Sir Nushkha hai Wafaa mein Faiz sb ko parha ke shair kaa kaam katre meiN dajlaa daikhnaa hi nahee balke dikhaanaa bhi hotaa hei. iss se meiN ye samjhaa ke shaid har shaAer jo likhtaa hei woh chahtaa ho ke Qari bhi uss ka wohi matlab samjhe.

daad ke liYe mamnoon hooN. waise itnaa to kahooN gaa keh tabSireh se yeh naheeN ma'loom hotaa keh aap is :dasht kee sai,yyaaHee: meN mubtadee haiN! :-)


Sir saaghir siddiqui ka aik shair yaad aa gia hazr e khidmat hei

"un ke hote huway mehfil meiN jalate haiN charagh
log kia saada haiN sooraj ko dikhaate haiN charagh"

dar asal meri daad oar tanqeed (meiN kasam khaa saktaa hooN ke tanqeed karnaa to dar kinaar meiN ne socha bhi nahi) donoaN hi aap ke leeaye baikaar haiN. mein ne koi tabsaraa nahi kiyaa thaa aap ki shairi par. meiN to ye likhaa thaa ke "mujh ye samajh aa-ii hei"

phir agar aap ko meri daad se khushi hoee toa meiN isse apne leeaye ba-ise fakhar samajhtaa hooN.
maqaam-e-shauq kee sar-mastiyaaN, are taubah!
suroor-e-a'ashiqee dil meN, Khumaar aaNkh`oN meN!

pehle misra meiN "maqaam-e-shauq" , "janoon-e-shauq" se behtar kyooN kar huwa. agar vazahaa karaiN toa shukar guzaar hooN ga.


meiN hargiz hargiz ye naheeN kehnaa chah raha thaa ke yahaaN par "janoon e shauq" ziada behtar hei. mere kehne ka maqsad thaa ke aap ne "muqaam e shauq" istamaal kiya hei to kuch soch samajh kar hi kiya ho ga. oar meiN mawazana chah raha thaa ke "janoon e shauq" karne se shair ki hasiat kia ho gi.

aap yaqeenun samajh sakte haiN ke iss tarah ki ilmi nikaat mere leeaye kitnaa aik nowarid ki haseeat se mere leeaye kitne manafaa bakhs ho sakte haiN.


"qadam qadam peh tiree yaad gul kh`ilaatee hai
yeh kis ne bh`ar diyaa raNg-e-bahaar aaNkh`oN meN?

ye bus theek hei. :)"

aap kaa itnaa bhee keh denaa achhaa lagaa. maiN puraane zamaaneh kaa hooN jab :mubtadee: apne se ziyaadah kuhnah-mashq shaa,i'roN ke ash,a'ar par :bas Theek hai: kee muhr lagaate huwe Darte the! lekin waqt ke saath aqdaar bhee badal gayee haiN. aur ham bhee ab chiraaGh-e-saHaree haiN! Khush rahiYe.



mein adab o ehtaraam mein wohi jagaa chahtaa hooN jahaan hamare buzargwar the. Sir mere tamam comments sirf aik qaari ke comments ki hasiat rakhte haiN. kissi samajhdar ahel ilm ka tabsaraa naheeN. meiN ne qaari hone ki hasiat jo jaisa laga waisa likhaa. wajaa Faiz ka wohi jumlaa thaa. tabsara to ahle fun karte haiN. "bus theek hei" meri feelings theeN, aap ka shair par fanni tabsara naheeN. umeed hei aap ye gunjaish daite huway muaaf farma-ain ge.

huwe: se she'r meN ek qism kee u'moomiyat paidaa ho jaatee hai. meraa maqt^a' meree Zaat kee jaanib ishaarah kar rahaa hai aur maiN isee andaaz ko pasand kartaa hooN. mujh ko :huwe: meN koyee baat naz^ar naheeN aayee lekin aap ko apnee baat kaa iKhtiyaar hai.


aap ke jawab mera maslaa hal ho gia [:)] asal meiN choonke mujhe u'moomiyat pasand hei iss leeaye meiN pooch rahaa the ke huwe se shair ka daira kaar wase ho ga ke nahi. aap ke jawab se mujhe pataa chala meiN theek soach rahaa thaa. yaqeenun mere alfaaz na munasib hoaN ge. jis ke leeay meiN maazrat kha hooN. laikin meiN umeed kartaa hooN ke meri shakhis infradiat ke tehat meri pasand mukhtalif hona kissi tarah bhi aap par ye kissi bhi likhne walay par koi baar nahi. mere majwazaa "behtari" fanni aitbaar se na thee balkee mere zaaati khayal ki mutabiqat ke lehaaz se thi. yaqeenun mujhe forum meiN baat karte huway bohat muntikhab alfaaz meiN baat karni chah-aye.



[/teal]Sir mere khayal meiN kissi shaAer ki shairi koi cricket match nahi ke har airaa ghairaa uss par tabseraa kare. meiN kahaan oar meri basaat kahaaN. haaN jub kabhi moqaa milaa ye likhne meiN kabhi aar mehsoos na karooN ga ke aap ke ashhar ne mujh par kia asar choraa.

[/red][colo=teal]

aap kaa mujram,
Muhammad Khawar.

muHibbee Khawar SaaHeb: aadaab!

aap kaa Khat^ Khushee kaa baa,i'c huwaa. aap meree jaanib se it^meenaan rakheN keh mujh ko aap kee koyee baat hargiz buree naheeN lagee hai. aapas kee baat cheet meN kabhee kabhee maiN bhee woh iHtiaat^ naheeN kar paataa jo karnee chaahiYe. so yeh koyee baRee baat naheeN hai. aap Khayaal nah kareN, meHfil meN baraabar aate raheN aur apne Khayaalaat likhte raheN. bal.k aap se guZaarish hai keh www.urduduniya.net meN bhee aaYeN. wahaaN bhee achhe log mileN ge. shukriyah.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Re: achchaa sawaal hei lekin iski jagah kaheeN aur hei

Post by muhammad_19k »

muhammad_19k wrote:

Mohtaram Janab Abudullah Nazir Sb ke leeaye


Aap ne seekhne kaa jo raastah ikhtiyaar kiyaa hei wo aapkaa apnaa hei. Aap uske moojid heiN. Her shakhS ko Haq hei ke kisi ke bataaye houe raastaoN per chale yaa khud apne raaste per chalkar bhaTaktaa rahe yaa manzil tak pahounch jaaye.
[/color]

Shaid mujh se phir koi bhool/ghalati ho gayee. jis ke leeaye meiN maafi chaahtaa hooN.

Muafi ka khaastgaar.
Muhammad Khawar.

[/b][/size]
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muhammad_19k
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Post by muhammad_19k »



Mohtaram Sarwar Raaz Sb ke leeaye



Sir,

mein aap ki mohabbat ka shukarguzaar hooN


Aap ka shukarguazar,

Muhammad Khawar.
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Re: laraz rahaa hai dil-e-sogawaar aaNkh`oN meN!

Post by tahira Masood »

Sarwar Raz wrote:
==============================
GHAZAL:

laraz rahaa hai dil-e-sogawaar aaNkh`oN meN
khaTak rahee hai shab-e-intiz^aar aaNkh`oN meN!

Zaraa nah farq Khudee aur beKhudee meN rahaa
nah jaane kyaa hai tiree mai-gusaar aaNkh`oN meN!

yeh dard-e-dil naheeN, hai baaz-gasht-e-meHroomee
yeh ashk-e-Gham naheeN, hai yaad-e-yaar aaNkh`oN meN!

sha,o'or-e-zeest se Khaalee naheeN KhizaaN hargiz
magar hai shart^ rachee ho bahaar aaNikh`oN meN!

Zaraa Zaraa se mire raaz kh`ol detaa hai
chhupaa hai kaun miraa raazdaar aaNkh`oN meN?

maqaam-e-shauq kee sar-mastiyaaN, are taubah!
suroor-e-a'ashiqee dil meN, Khumaar aaNkh`oN meN!

qadam qadam peh tiree yaad gul kh`ilaatee hai
yeh kis ne bh`ar diyaa raNg-e-bahaar aaNkh`oN meN?

naburd-aazmaa duniyaa se kyaa huwaa "Sarwar"
kuch` aur baRh gayaa apnaa waqaar aaNkh`oN meN

--------------------------------

sogawaar = Gham se bh`araa
mai-gusaar = sharaabee
baaz-gasht = gooNj, echo
sha,o'or = aagaahee
naburd-aazmaa = jaNg par aamaadah


moHteram sarwar Saheb

Assalamao Alaikum w.w

aik nehaayat khoobSurat ghazal per meri jaanib se dilee daad aur mubarakbaad qabuul fermaaiN

aap ki ghazloN k saath jo yeh alfaz aur ma'Anee hote heiN woh bohat achae lagte haiN . Yeh yaqeenan bohat se na'e seekh'ne waaoN k liye mufeed Caabit hote heN.

bohat bohat shuekriyah :rose

wasslam

sadaa Khush rehaiN
live and let live

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