aek taazah TaraHi ghazal - -- - Abdullah Nazir.

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar

Post Reply
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:

aek taazah TaraHi ghazal - -- - Abdullah Nazir.

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramaat o MuHtarameen
Arbaab-e-meHfil aur aHbaab-e-sukhan,

PurkhulooS Tasleemaat, :rose
- -- -

Apni aek TaraHi taazah ghazal pesh karne kee saAadat HaaSil karrahaa hooN. Ummeed ke apni giraNqadr aaraa se navaazkar shukriyah adaa karne kaa mauqaA denge.

GHAZAL roman mein

Dar badar kee ThoukareN khaane se ruswaayi huee
Tab kaheeN jaakar miri tum se shinaasaayee huee

Tujhko dekhooN yaa tire dilkash khiraam-e-naaz ko
"uff tiri kaafir jawaani joush per aayee huee"

noor thaa minnat kash-e-gulbaang-e-aHbaab-e-sukhan
raat meHfil meiN mujhe meHsoos tanhaayi huee

ham-qadam kiyuN hei tiri bedaad-e-kaavish haay-e-lab
raah-e-ulfat meiN yeh kyaa hangaamah aarayi huee

justajoo-e-gauhar-e-naayaab thee pesh-e-nazar
door nazraoN se nah gehraayi o geeraayi huee

baada-e-ulfat se hei yeh Aalam-e-khud-raftagi
maiN tamaashah ban gayaa dunyaa tamaashaayi huee

deeda-e-bekhwaab meiN :Nazir: thee taSveer-e-qaamar
shaam-e-gham thee yaas o HirmaaN kee ghaTaa chaayi huee
=======

Aapka MukhliS,

Nazir.

Attachments
a_na_24_ubplus_r.JPG
a_na_24_ubplus_r.JPG (164.84 KiB) Viewed 172 times
Image
Sarwar A. Raz
-
-
Posts: 518
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Contact:

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

mu,a'zzamee Nazir SaaHeb: aadaab!

muddat huyee keh aashtee-e-chashm-o-gosh hai!

ek a'rSeh ke ba'd niyaaz HaaSil kar rahaa hooN. zindagee kaa to aap ko ma'loom hee hai keh kisee ko Khaat^ir meN naheeN laatee hai. so meraa kahaaN shumaar hai? :-)

aap kee yeh dilpaZeer Ghazal dekhee. daad qubool keejiYe. Khayaalaat aur bayaan sab hee baland aur ma'yaaree haiN aur aap kee ustaadee par dalaalat karte haiN.

aap kaa majmoo,a'h-e-Ghazal :Taar-e-Anfaaz-e-Ghazal: gaahe gaahe dekh letaa hooN. ab jadeed shaa,i'ree kaa daur hai. aisee shaa,i'ree kahaaN naz^ar aatee hai!

zer-e-nazar Ghazal ke Hawaaleh se chand sawaalaat pesh-e-Khidmat haiN. agar tashreeH farmaa deN to i'naayat ho gee. shukriyah:
--------------------------------------
Dar badar kee ThoukareN khaane se ruswaayi huee
Tab kaheeN jaakar miri tum se shinaasaayee huee

Tujhko dekhooN yaa tire dilkash khiraam-e-naaz ko
"uff tiri kaafir jawaani joush per aayee huee"

bohat Khoob! daad!
-------------------------
noor thaa minnat kash-e-gulbaang-e-aHbaab-e-sukhan
raat meHfil meiN mujhe meHsoos tanhaayi huee

:noor: kaa aap kee :tanhaayee: se kyaa ta,a'lluq hai? raat ko meHfil aap ke eHbaab kee baatoN se :pur-noor: thee? agar yeh mumkin bhee hai to shaayad doosre miSre' meN :is ke baa-wujood: kee kamee lagtee hai. ho saktaa hai keh maiN Ghalat^ samajh rahaa hooN.
------------------------------
ham-qadam kiyuN hei tiri bedaad-e-kaavish haay-e-lab
raah-e-ulfat meiN yeh kyaa hangaamah aarayi huee
------------------------
justajoo-e-gauhar-e-naayaab thee pesh-e-nazar
door nazraoN se nah gehraayi o geeraayi huee

mujh ko doosre miSre' kee bandish meN "o" kee jagah :nah: naz^ar aayaa. kyaa yeh :typo: hai?
-----------------------------
baada-e-ulfat se hei yeh Aalam-e-khud-raftagi
maiN tamaashah ban gayaa dunyaa tamaashaayi huee

dunyaa to hameshah hee a'ashiqoN kee tamaashaayee rahee hai! shaayad yeh un kee taqdeer hai.
-------------------------
deeda-e-bekhwaab meiN :Nazir: thee taSveer-e-qaamar
shaam-e-gham thee yaas o HirmaaN kee ghaTaa chaayi huee

:qamar: se aap kee muraad kyaa :meHboob: hai? agar aisaa hai to phir yaas-o-hirmaaN kaa honaa yaqeenee hai, albattah un kee :ghaTaa: kaa honaa mushtabah hai kyoN.k ghaTaa meN :qamar: naz^ar aa to saktaa hai lekin :chhaayee huyee: ghaTaa meN Zaraa mushkil hai!
-----------------------------
aap jaante hee haiN keh aise sawaaloN se meraa maqSad sanjeedah tabSirah to hotaa hai lekin tanqeeS hargiz naheeN hotaa. koyee baat naa-gawaar ho to ma'Zirat!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:

dili shukriyah qubool keejiye

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramee
ustaad-e-sukhan o maahir-e-urdu adab
aur bandah navaaz, Sarwar A. Raz. Sarwar SaaHib,


PurkhulooS Tasleemaat o aadab o niyaaz,

Khda kaa shukr hei ke aapki nazar meri ghazal per paRee aur aap ne apne giraaNqadr tabSireh se navaazaa. Ghazal kee pazeeraayi ke liye aapka jisqadar bhee shukriyah adaa karuN kam hei.

Ghazal ke jin ashAar per aap ne apne zaavia-e-nazar se jo raushnee Daalee hei aur apnee Thous aaraa kaa izhaar kiyaa hei unke baare meiN agar maiN wo mafhoom adaa kardooN jo mere naaqiS vijdaan meiN thaa tou shayad qary'een-e-sheAr o adab kisi nateejeh per pahounch sakeN.

zer-e-nazar Ghazal ke Hawaaleh se chand sawaalaat pesh-e-Khidmat haiN. agar tashreeH farmaa deN to i'naayat ho gee. shukriyah:
--------------------------------------
noor thaa minnat kash-e-gulbaang-e-aHbaab-e-sukhan
raat meHfil meiN mujhe meHsoos tanhaayi huee

:noor: kaa aap kee :tanhaayee: se kyaa ta,a'lluq hai? raat ko meHfil aap ke eHbaab kee baatoN se :pur-noor: thee? agar yeh mumkin bhee hai to shaayad doosre miSre' meN :is ke baa-wujood: kee kamee lagtee hai. ho saktaa hai keh maiN Ghalat^ samajh rahaa hooN.


TashreeH:

Pahle aapke sawaal kaa javaab de dooN. Noor kaa meree tanhayee se kyaa taAalluq hei? Kehte heiN "andhaa kyaa chaahe, do aankheN". Jee agar noor maddham hou tou kitabeN paRhne se maAzoor houjaataa hooN aur ziyaadah raushni karooN tou aawaazeN aati heiN electric kaa bill ziyaadah hujaayegaa. Khair yeh tou aapke sawaal kaa javaab thaa.

SheAr kaa mafhoom mere zehn meiN yeh tha ke meHfil meiN halchal nahiN thee aur Aam Taur per kehte heiN ke aapke aane se hamaara ghar raushan hougayaa. Isi baat ko zehn meiN rakhte houe maiN ne pahle miSreA meiN kahaa hei ke raushni aHbaab-e-sukhan kee dilkash ghazal saraayi kee muHtaaj thee. Doosre miSreA meiN yehi vaZaaHut kardee hei ke "raat meHfil meiN mujhe meHsoos tanhaayi houee". MukhtaSar mafhoom yeh hei ke raat jo mehfil-e-sukhan sajaayee gayee thee us meiN dilkash ash'Aar sunne ko nahiN mile.
------------------------------
justajoo-e-gauhar-e-naayaab thee pesh-e-nazar
door nazraoN se nah gehraayi o geeraayi huee

mujh ko doosre miSre' kee bandish meN "o" kee jagah :nah: naz^ar aayaa. kyaa yeh :typo: hai?


MulaaHizah: Yaqeen maaniye, sheAr kehne se pahle aur kehne ke baAd yehi baat mere zehn meiN aayi lekin jab lughat meiN muHaavirah "gehraayi o geerayi" nazar aayaa tou maiN ne andhi taqleed ko tarjeeH dee.
-----------------------------
deeda-e-bekhwaab meiN :Nazir: thee taSveer-e-qaamar
shaam-e-gham thee yaas o HirmaaN kee ghaTaa chaayi huee

:qamar: se aap kee muraad kyaa :meHboob: hai? agar aisaa hai to phir yaas-o-hirmaaN kaa honaa yaqeenee hai, albattah un kee :ghaTaa: kaa honaa mushtabah hai kyoN.k ghaTaa meN :qamar: naz^ar aa to saktaa hai lekin :chhaayee huyee: ghaTaa meN Zaraa mushkil hai!


Jee haaN aap ne bilkul durust farmaayaa. TaSveer-e-qamar se meree muraad meHbob kee shakl hei jo meree be-khwaab aankhaoN meiN thee. Doosre miSreA meiN "yaas o HirmaaN kee ghaTaa chaayee houee" kee ibaarat istiAare ke Taur per isteAmaal houee hei jis se meree muraad hei ke shaam-e-gham nah deedar-e-yaar kaa mauqaA milaa nah souz-e-hijr kaa madaawaa housakaa.
-----------------------------
aap jaante hee haiN keh aise sawaaloN se meraa maqSad sanjeedah tabSirah to hotaa hai lekin tanqeeS hargiz naheeN hotaa. koyee baat naa-gawaar ho to ma'Zirat!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"


Jee aap ne bajaa farmaayaa ke aapka maqSad ifhaam o tafheem kaa houtaa hei nah keh tanqeeS kaa. Is baat ko samajhne meiN bahut din lag gaye jiske liye muAafi chaahtaa hooN.

Meraa bhee yehi maqSad houtaa hei:

1- Sab se pahle yeh dekhooN ke koii sheAr be-beHr tou nahiN hei. Agar hei tou uske baare meiN likhne se gurez nah karooN.
2- Kisi sheAr kaa mafhooM souchne ke baAd bhee samajh meiN nah aaye tou apni kam-ilmi kaa izhaar karte houe likhkhooN ke meri samajh meiN nahiN aayaa.
3- Agar ba'AZ alfaaz kee behtaee mumkin hou tou aisi raaye ko Sirf unki khidmat ke liye meHfooz rakhkhooN jo apne baRaoN kee izzat karte heiN.
4- Nau aamouz shoAaraa kee bajaa aur bejaa taAreef karooN taakeh unki aek Had tak HauSalah-afzaayee hou.
5- Apne tabSireh ko baar baar paRhoN taakeh agar koii chook hougayi hou tou jald hee uski taSHeeH pesh kardooN.
6- Iske baavajood agar meri hee koii ghalaTee hou tou bar sar-e-Aam vaZaaHut kardoon ke mujh se chook hougayee jaisaa keh her aadami se housakti hei.

BaharHaal in baataoN se meraa maqSad yeh hei keh aap jaise ustaad-e-fan hee achchi TaraH se samajh sakte heiN ke adabi khidmat kee raah meiN kyaa kyaa mushkileN nahiN pesh aati heiN. Aapki faraakh-dili ke liye shukrguzaar hooN.


Ihsan-maind,

Nazir.

Image
Sarwar A. Raz
-
-
Posts: 518
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Contact:

Re: dili shukriyah qubool keejiye

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtaramee
ustaad-e-sukhan o maahir-e-urdu adab
aur bandah navaaz, Sarwar A. Raz. Sarwar SaaHib,


PurkhulooS Tasleemaat o aadab o niyaaz,

Khda kaa shukr hei ke aapki nazar meri ghazal per paRee aur aap ne apne giraaNqadr tabSireh se navaazaa. Ghazal kee pazeeraayi ke liye aapka jisqadar bhee shukriyah adaa karuN kam hei.

Ghazal ke jin ashAar per aap ne apne zaavia-e-nazar se jo raushnee Daalee hei aur apnee Thous aaraa kaa izhaar kiyaa hei unke baare meiN agar maiN wo mafhoom adaa kardooN jo mere naaqiS vijdaan meiN thaa tou shayad qary'een-e-sheAr o adab kisi nateejeh per pahounch sakeN.

zer-e-nazar Ghazal ke Hawaaleh se chand sawaalaat pesh-e-Khidmat haiN. agar tashreeH farmaa deN to i'naayat ho gee. shukriyah:
--------------------------------------
noor thaa minnat kash-e-gulbaang-e-aHbaab-e-sukhan
raat meHfil meiN mujhe meHsoos tanhaayi huee

:noor: kaa aap kee :tanhaayee: se kyaa ta,a'lluq hai? raat ko meHfil aap ke eHbaab kee baatoN se :pur-noor: thee? agar yeh mumkin bhee hai to shaayad doosre miSre' meN :is ke baa-wujood: kee kamee lagtee hai. ho saktaa hai keh maiN Ghalat^ samajh rahaa hooN.


TashreeH:

Pahle aapke sawaal kaa javaab de dooN. Noor kaa meree tanhayee se kyaa taAalluq hei? Kehte heiN "andhaa kyaa chaahe, do aankheN". Jee agar noor maddham hou tou kitabeN paRhne se maAzoor houjaataa hooN aur ziyaadah raushni karooN tou aawaazeN aati heiN electric kaa bill ziyaadah hujaayegaa. Khair yeh tou aapke sawaal kaa javaab thaa.

SheAr kaa mafhoom mere zehn meiN yeh tha ke meHfil meiN halchal nahiN thee aur Aam Taur per kehte heiN ke aapke aane se hamaara ghar raushan hougayaa. Isi baat ko zehn meiN rakhte houe maiN ne pahle miSreA meiN kahaa hei ke raushni aHbaab-e-sukhan kee dilkash ghazal saraayi kee muHtaaj thee. Doosre miSreA meiN yehi vaZaaHut kardee hei ke "raat meHfil meiN mujhe meHsoos tanhaayi houee". MukhtaSar mafhoom yeh hei ke raat jo mehfil-e-sukhan sajaayee gayee thee us meiN dilkash ash'Aar sunne ko nahiN mile.
------------------------------
justajoo-e-gauhar-e-naayaab thee pesh-e-nazar
door nazraoN se nah gehraayi o geeraayi huee

mujh ko doosre miSre' kee bandish meN "o" kee jagah :nah: naz^ar aayaa. kyaa yeh :typo: hai?


MulaaHizah: Yaqeen maaniye, sheAr kehne se pahle aur kehne ke baAd yehi baat mere zehn meiN aayi lekin jab lughat meiN muHaavirah "gehraayi o geerayi" nazar aayaa tou maiN ne andhi taqleed ko tarjeeH dee.
-----------------------------
deeda-e-bekhwaab meiN :Nazir: thee taSveer-e-qaamar
shaam-e-gham thee yaas o HirmaaN kee ghaTaa chaayi huee

:qamar: se aap kee muraad kyaa :meHboob: hai? agar aisaa hai to phir yaas-o-hirmaaN kaa honaa yaqeenee hai, albattah un kee :ghaTaa: kaa honaa mushtabah hai kyoN.k ghaTaa meN :qamar: naz^ar aa to saktaa hai lekin :chhaayee huyee: ghaTaa meN Zaraa mushkil hai!


Jee haaN aap ne bilkul durust farmaayaa. TaSveer-e-qamar se meree muraad meHbob kee shakl hei jo meree be-khwaab aankhaoN meiN thee. Doosre miSreA meiN "yaas o HirmaaN kee ghaTaa chaayee houee" kee ibaarat istiAare ke Taur per isteAmaal houee hei jis se meree muraad hei ke shaam-e-gham nah deedar-e-yaar kaa mauqaA milaa nah souz-e-hijr kaa madaawaa housakaa.
-----------------------------
aap jaante hee haiN keh aise sawaaloN se meraa maqSad sanjeedah tabSirah to hotaa hai lekin tanqeeS hargiz naheeN hotaa. koyee baat naa-gawaar ho to ma'Zirat!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"


Jee aap ne bajaa farmaayaa ke aapka maqSad ifhaam o tafheem kaa houtaa hei nah keh tanqeeS kaa. Is baat ko samajhne meiN bahut din lag gaye jiske liye muAafi chaahtaa hooN.

Meraa bhee yehi maqSad houtaa hei:

1- Sab se pahle yeh dekhooN ke koii sheAr be-beHr tou nahiN hei. Agar hei tou uske baare meiN likhne se gurez nah karooN.
2- Kisi sheAr kaa mafhooM souchne ke baAd bhee samajh meiN nah aaye tou apni kam-ilmi kaa izhaar karte houe likhkhooN ke meri samajh meiN nahiN aayaa.
3- Agar ba'AZ alfaaz kee behtaee mumkin hou tou aisi raaye ko Sirf unki khidmat ke liye meHfooz rakhkhooN jo apne baRaoN kee izzat karte heiN.
4- Nau aamouz shoAaraa kee bajaa aur bejaa taAreef karooN taakeh unki aek Had tak HauSalah-afzaayee hou.
5- Apne tabSireh ko baar baar paRhoN taakeh agar koii chook hougayi hou tou jald hee uski taSHeeH pesh kardooN.
6- Iske baavajood agar meri hee koii ghalaTee hou tou bar sar-e-Aam vaZaaHut kardoon ke mujh se chook hougayee jaisaa keh her aadami se housakti hei.

BaharHaal in baataoN se meraa maqSad yeh hei keh aap jaise ustaad-e-fan hee achchi TaraH se samajh sakte heiN ke adabi khidmat kee raah meiN kyaa kyaa mushkileN nahiN pesh aati heiN. Aapki faraakh-dili ke liye shukrguzaar hooN.


Ihsan-maind,

Nazir.

mukarram-e-bandah: aadaab!

jawaab ke liYe mamnoon hooN. aap kee tashreeHaat se bohat se giraheN khul gayeeN aur ash,a'ar behtar t^aur se samajh sakaa. ek a'rZ^ hai keh, qiblah! maiN ustaad naheeN hooN, kabhee naheeN rahaa aur kabhee nah ban sakooN gaa. aap kee hee t^araH adab-o-she'r kaa ek adnaa t^aalib-e-i'lm hooN aur abhee ghuTniyoN hee chal rahaa hooN!

du,a'a meN yaad rakhiYe. shukriyah!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
User avatar
muhammad_19k
-
-
Posts: 540
Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:36 am
Location: Lahore
Contact:

Post by muhammad_19k »

usaataza e karam!

Sarwar sb ki taraf se ye jumlaa Abudllah Nazir sb ke leeaye paRha

"aap kee hee t^araH adab-o-she'r kaa ek adnaa t^aalib-e-i'lm hooN aur abhee ghuTniyoN hee chal rahaa hooN!"

jaise bijli koondta hai waise hi mere zahn mieN ye misraa aayaa.

"ham to doobay haiN sanam tum ko bhi lay doobaiN ge "

Mein asaataaza oar baaqi ehbaab se bhi maa'zarat chahtaa hooN ke aik khayaal aaya oar meiN ne baghair kissi "islaah" ke jooN ka tooN paish kar diya.

talib e ilm,
Muhammad Khawar.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273

938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
Sarwar A. Raz
-
-
Posts: 518
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Contact:

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

muhammad_19k wrote:usaataza e karam!

Sarwar sb ki taraf se ye jumlaa Abudllah Nazir sb ke leeaye paRha

"aap kee hee t^araH adab-o-she'r kaa ek adnaa t^aalib-e-i'lm hooN aur abhee ghuTniyoN hee chal rahaa hooN!"

jaise bijli koondta hai waise hi mere zahn mieN ye misraa aayaa.

"ham to doobay haiN sanam tum ko bhi lay doobaiN ge "

Mein asaataaza oar baaqi ehbaab se bhi maa'zarat chahtaa hooN ke aik khayaal aaya oar meiN ne baghair kissi "islaah" ke jooN ka tooN paish kar diya.

talib e ilm,
Muhammad Khawar.
janaab-e-Khawar SaaHeb: aadaab!

aap ke Khat^ se z^aahir hotaa hai keh shaayad aap is miSre' ko:

ham to Doobe haiN Sanam tujh ko bhee le DoobeN ge

apnaa samajhte haiN! yeh to ek puraane shaa,i'r kaa bohat puraanaa miSra' hai! aap is ko apnaa nah kaheN to behtar hai.

doosre yeh keh baat wohee achhee jo soch samajh kar kee jaaYe. Nazir SaaHeb ko maiN ne jo likhaa thaa us ko aap kee teHreer kuch aur hee jaamah pehnaa rahee hai! maiN ne Khud ko :ustaad: kehne se gureZ kiyaa to is meN :Doobne: kaa koyee sawaal naheeN hai! aur agar maiN ne Nazir SaaHeb ko shaa,i'ree meN :ustaad: ke laqab se naheeN pukaaraa to is meN un kee bhee koyee tauheen naheeN hai! woh Khud bhee is qism ka alqaab se inkaaree haiN. ummeed hai keh aap meree baat samajh gaYe hoN ge. ab Khudaa-raa yeh Khat^ dekhte hee qalam-bardaashtah kuch aur nah likheN! shukriyah! :-)

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
User avatar
muhammad_19k
-
-
Posts: 540
Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:36 am
Location: Lahore
Contact:

Post by muhammad_19k »

Qabil e sad ehteram Sarwar sb.


Allah taala aap par apni rehmatoaN oar naimatoaN ki baarish kare

aap ki inkisaari oar aajzi yaqeenun bohat baRi baat hai. oar Aajazi hai kissi fan mieN bulandeeoaN par lay kar jaati hai. laikin aksiriat ka kia ja-aye jis ko meiN pehle din se aap donoaN ko ustaad ki ki masnad par bithaa-aye daikh rahaa hooN. aap na maaniaye ham to kehte rahaiN gaiN :-).


Duago,
Muhammad Khawar.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273

938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
User avatar
ROSE
-
-
Posts: 29
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2006 8:03 am

Post by ROSE »

bohat hi khub janaab

dahroooooooooooooooooo daad qabool kareN

sada khush rahiye janaab

ALLAH HAFIZ
Image
Post Reply