Jise toone hamesha barsare paikaar likkha hai
use duniya -e- huq ne qafila salaar likkha hai
wafaoN pe kabhi saoda gari hamne nahiN seekhee
hamara naam kiyon toone sare bazar likkha hai
wahan ab kaunsa mausam bahareN leke ayega
jahan sookhe darakhton ko bhi saya daar likkha hai
yeh mumkin hai ujale teeragi ki zad meN aa jayen
siyah karoN ne aisa ajka akhbar likkha hai
Qalam majboor tha shayed tira , unwaN badalne ko
AndheroN ko bhi toone partawe anwar likkha hai
wafa naraz hai tujh se khafa tahzeeb hai tujh se
magar hamne tujhe bhi sahibe kirdar likkha hai
SABA jo waqife fun they nahin aye kitaboN men
Jinhone fun khareeda tha unhen fankar likkha hai
RIZWAN SABA BADAUNI
61, FARSHIRI ST. BADAUN
Meri ek taza ghazal aapki samaatoN meN
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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Rizwan Saba
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muhammad_19k
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Salam Rizwan Sb,
aik khoobSoorat ghazal par mabarikbaad qabool keejiaye. Ghazal bohat pasand aai, khas toar par matla'A aor ye walaa sha'er,
wahan ab kaunsa mausam bahareN leke ayega
jahan sookhe darakhton ko bhi saya daar likkha hai
haan maqtaA meiN mujhe lagaa jaise faa-il ghaaib hai. yani kiss ne?
aap ka mukhliS,
Muhammad Khawar.
aik khoobSoorat ghazal par mabarikbaad qabool keejiaye. Ghazal bohat pasand aai, khas toar par matla'A aor ye walaa sha'er,
wahan ab kaunsa mausam bahareN leke ayega
jahan sookhe darakhton ko bhi saya daar likkha hai
haan maqtaA meiN mujhe lagaa jaise faa-il ghaaib hai. yani kiss ne?
aap ka mukhliS,
Muhammad Khawar.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
Rizwan Sahib,-
Ibn-e-siddique
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Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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moHtaram RiZ^waan SaHib aadaab!
kiya kehne bohot khubSurat Ghazal se nawaza hai. sabh~ee she'er jandaar aor qadir-ul-qalamee kee daleel haiN.
meree dad aor mubarak baad qubool kijiYe!
Jise toone hamesha barsare paikaar likkha hai
use duniya -e- huq ne qafila salaar likkha hai
wafaoN pe kabhi saoda gari hamne nahiN seekhee
hamara naam kiyon toone sare bazar likkha hai
wahan ab kaunsa mausam bahareN leke ayega
jahan sookhe darakhton ko bhi saya daar likkha hai
yeh mumkin hai ujale teeragi ki zad meN aa jayen
siyah karoN ne aisa ajka akhbar likkha hai
Qalam majboor tha shayed tira , unwaN badalne ko
AndheroN ko bhi toone partawe anwar likkha hai
wafa naraz hai tujh se khafa tahzeeb hai tujh se
magar hamne tujhe bhi sahibe kirdar likkha hai
SABA jo waqife fun they nahin aye kitaboN men
Jinhone fun khareeda tha unhen fankar likkha hai
Wassalam
Muz^affar AHmad Muz^affar
kiya kehne bohot khubSurat Ghazal se nawaza hai. sabh~ee she'er jandaar aor qadir-ul-qalamee kee daleel haiN.
meree dad aor mubarak baad qubool kijiYe!
Jise toone hamesha barsare paikaar likkha hai
use duniya -e- huq ne qafila salaar likkha hai
wafaoN pe kabhi saoda gari hamne nahiN seekhee
hamara naam kiyon toone sare bazar likkha hai
wahan ab kaunsa mausam bahareN leke ayega
jahan sookhe darakhton ko bhi saya daar likkha hai
yeh mumkin hai ujale teeragi ki zad meN aa jayen
siyah karoN ne aisa ajka akhbar likkha hai
Qalam majboor tha shayed tira , unwaN badalne ko
AndheroN ko bhi toone partawe anwar likkha hai
wafa naraz hai tujh se khafa tahzeeb hai tujh se
magar hamne tujhe bhi sahibe kirdar likkha hai
SABA jo waqife fun they nahin aye kitaboN men
Jinhone fun khareeda tha unhen fankar likkha hai
Wassalam
Muz^affar AHmad Muz^affar
Aadaab, Rizwaan SaaHib!
Bahut Khoob ghazal hai. Umda mazameen haiN, daad qubool kijiye.
Bahut Khoob ghazal hai. Umda mazameen haiN, daad qubool kijiye.
My Poetry Website>> http://www.tanhaa.net/anmol
A site for Raj Kumar Sahib>> http://rk-qais.bravehost.com
A site for Raj Kumar Sahib>> http://rk-qais.bravehost.com
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yasir shah
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- Contact:
Re: Meri ek taza ghazal aapki samaatoN meN
muHtaram Rizwan SaaHib !
assalamOa'laikum
aap ki Ghazal mulaaHizah se guzree - nudrat-e-khayaal keh jo aaj ke kuhnahmashqoN ki shaai'ree meN bhi kam kam hay , aur josh aap ki Ghazal ke bunyaadee oSaaf heN-laiken talaash-e-khayaal-e-no bahut mushkil kaam hotaa hay aur isee justjoo meN akcar qadam laRKhaRaa bhi jaatay heN-- zabaan peh dastaras bhi khair, waqt ke saath saath aa hi jaatee hay- meN har she'r par apnee raa.ay paish kartaa hooN shaayed kisee laaiq ho-
mukhliS
yasir
assalamOa'laikum
aap ki Ghazal mulaaHizah se guzree - nudrat-e-khayaal keh jo aaj ke kuhnahmashqoN ki shaai'ree meN bhi kam kam hay , aur josh aap ki Ghazal ke bunyaadee oSaaf heN-laiken talaash-e-khayaal-e-no bahut mushkil kaam hotaa hay aur isee justjoo meN akcar qadam laRKhaRaa bhi jaatay heN-- zabaan peh dastaras bhi khair, waqt ke saath saath aa hi jaatee hay- meN har she'r par apnee raa.ay paish kartaa hooN shaayed kisee laaiq ho-
ummeed kartaa hooN keh meree yeh mukhliSaanah raa.ay aap ke kisee kaam aa.ay gee agar kaam nah bhi aa.ee to kam.az.kam dilshikanee kaa baai'c nah banay gee -khudaa.nah.khwaastah, baSoorat-e-deegar paishagee ma'zarat-Rizwan Saba wrote:Jise toone hamesha barsare paikaar likkha hai
use duniya -e- huq ne qafila salaar likkha hai
aap ke pahlay miSre' meN baNdhaa qaafiyah kuCh munaasib maHsoos naheeN hotaa ,kyooNkeh woh "barsar-e-paikaar" bhi agar kahtay to Theek thaa laiken unhoN ne to "dahshatgard" hi qaraar de diyaa-
wafaoN pe kabhi saoda gari hamne nahiN seekhee
hamara naam kiyon toone sare bazar likkha hai
waah ! (wafaaoN par..........)
wahan ab kaunsa mausam bahareN leke ayega
jahan sookhe darakhton ko bhi saya daar likkha hai
pahlay miSre' ko durust kar leejiye :"bahaareN le ke aaeN gee"mazeed yeh keh liKhnaa fe'l ke saath faai'l darkaar hay keh jis kaa indiraaj aap ne bajuz maqta' ke har she'r meN kiyaa hay-
yeh mumkin hai ujale teeragi ki zad meN aa jayen
siyah karoN ne aisa ajka akhbar likkha hai
aChChaa hay
Qalam majboor tha shayed tira , unwaN badalne ko
AndheroN ko bhi toone partawe anwar likkha hai
cheh ma'nee ast ? bajuz is ke keh ....too ne majbooree meN sach ko Chupaayaa hay
wafa naraz hai tujh se khafa tahzeeb hai tujh se
magar hamne tujhe bhi sahibe kirdar likkha hai
khoob hay !
SABA jo waqife fun they nahin aye kitaboN men
Jinhone fun khareeda tha unhen fankar likkha hai
khayaal aChChaa hay magar faai'l ke baGhair bayaan adhooraa adhooraa saa hay
RIZWAN SABA BADAUNI
61, FARSHIRI ST. BADAUN
mukhliS
yasir
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Rizwan Saba
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mohatram shukriya
janab apki khoobsoorat samaat ke liye behad mamnoon hoon.
Rizwan Saba
Rizwan Saba
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Rizwan Saba
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- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:08 pm
- Location: Badaun u.p india
- Contact:
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Rizwan Saba
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- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:08 pm
- Location: Badaun u.p india
- Contact:
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Rizwan Saba
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- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:08 pm
- Location: Badaun u.p india
- Contact:
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Rizwan Saba
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- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:08 pm
- Location: Badaun u.p india
- Contact:
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Rizwan Saba
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- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:08 pm
- Location: Badaun u.p india
- Contact:
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Rizwan Saba
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- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 10:08 pm
- Location: Badaun u.p india
- Contact:
mohatram yasir sha sb
mulahezaat ke liye shukriya apne maosam aur baharon ke hawalen sa jo raye pesh ki hai mai samajhta hoon ke apne baharon ke liye moaanis lafz ka estemaal karne ki baat kahi hai jabke maosam bahareN leke aaya hai maosam mazakkar hai is liye mashware per nazre saani ker len matale se akhri sher taki lihaza maqte men tak fa-il ka istemal kiya hai lihaza maqte men fail ki zuroortat mahsoos nahin ki gaye
saba
mulahezaat ke liye shukriya apne maosam aur baharon ke hawalen sa jo raye pesh ki hai mai samajhta hoon ke apne baharon ke liye moaanis lafz ka estemaal karne ki baat kahi hai jabke maosam bahareN leke aaya hai maosam mazakkar hai is liye mashware per nazre saani ker len matale se akhri sher taki lihaza maqte men tak fa-il ka istemal kiya hai lihaza maqte men fail ki zuroortat mahsoos nahin ki gaye
saba
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yasir shah
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janaab-e-man!Rizwan Saba wrote:mohatram yasir sha sb
mulahezaat ke liye shukriya apne maosam aur baharon ke hawalen sa jo raye pesh ki hai mai samajhta hoon ke apne baharon ke liye moaanis lafz ka estemaal karne ki baat kahi hai jabke maosam bahareN leke aaya hai maosam mazakkar hai is liye mashware per nazre saani ker len matale se akhri sher taki lihaza maqte men tak fa-il ka istemal kiya hai lihaza maqte men fail ki zuroortat mahsoos nahin ki gaye
saba
aik aadh jumlay ke i'laawah aap ki baaqee guftgoo sar par se guzar ga.ee- mazkoorah miSre' meN "wuhaaN ab konsaa mosam, bahaareN le ke aae gaa" ke Hawaale se uljhan thee keh aayaa aap ne "aa.ay gaa", "bahaareN" ki nisabat se isti'maal kiyaa hay yaa "mosam " ke i'tibaar se ,, aap ke khat se woh uljhan rafa' ho ga.ee -shukriyah
liKhte rahiye