Salam Muzaffar Sb,
ji toa ye hai woh ghazal jo ghazal paRhte paRhte ho gayee thi
1,
bakht-e-khuftah ko jagana ch~ooR de!
sang-e-dar par sar jh~ukana ch~ooR de!
bohat khoob!
2,
maiN nah kh~aooN ga fareb-e-justuju
laakh~ woh daman ch~uRana ch~ooR de!
un ke daaman chuRane se fareb e justuju ka ta'alluq meiN samajh naheeN payaa. apni kam ilmi ke leeaye ma'zirat chahtaa hooN.
3,
YooN nah kar khon-e-jigar ko rae,igaaN
hijr meN aaNsu bahana ch~ooR de!
Sir, pehlaa miSra acchccha hai oar doosraa miSra aam sa. is shaer ne koi bohat khaaS acar naheeN chhoRaa.
4,
Shaekh SaHib ne a'jab tajweez dee
dil gariftah hai to peena ch~ooR de!
peenaa ke leeaye aap ne zarqaa ji ko jo wazaHat ki hai woh meiN ne daikhi hai. maazirat ke saath meiN uss se mutafiq naheeN hooN.
aap apna matla'A daikhiaye,
bakht-e-khuftah ko jagana ch~ooR de!
sang-e-dar par sar jh~ukana ch~ooR de!
is matla'A ki roo se
chhoR de radeef huwaa oar
anaa ke lafz oar aawaaz ka hiSSa huway. aor agar ghor se daikhaiN to
na ki awaaz bhi donoaN qafiyooN
jagaanaa aor
jhukaanaa meiN mushtarik hai. iss leeaye qafiyaa
na ki aawaaz par naheeN balke na se pehli aawaaz par ho gaa jo ke
kaa aor
gaa hai. jis ke teHt, banaana, bichaanaa, sunaana, jhukaana, uthaana waghairaa qaafiaye thehray. mujhe naheeN pataa ke asaataza iss ke baray meiN kia raa-aye daitay haiN. laikin mairi samajh ke mutaabiq
jhukaanaa oar
jagaanaa ke aakhir meiN ane walaa
naa ki awaaz dar aSal
radeef ka hi HiSSa hai. Aor jo tashreeH aap ne wazn ke mutabiq farmaa-ii hai. jahaaN tak meiN seekh payaaa hooN qafiaa meiN alfaz oar aawaaz to aham hai laikin wazn naheeN. woh baat alaihdaa hai ke kuch qawaafi wazn ki bandish ki wajaa se kissi beHr meiN istemaal naheeN hosakte.
to peenaa wazn par bilkul pooraa utartaa hai laikin
peenaa mein naa se phele alif naheeN hai. yani peenaa meiN
pee ki aawaaz jhukaa ke
kaa aor jagaa ke
gaa ki ham awaaz naheeN hai. iss leeaye is ko in qawafi mieN likhnaa manasib naheen ho gaa. peenaa ke qawaafi jeena, seenaa, meenaa waghaira hoaN ge. (jee, see, mee, waghairaa ham aawaaz haiN ) agar mujhe bhi samajhne meiN ghalati lagi ho mazeed wazaaHat farmaa kar shukriyaa ka moqa dijiaye ga.
5,
jal chuka kab ka jhaan-e-aarzu
aasmaaN bijlee girana ch~ooR de!
bus theek hi hai. kia karooN muzaffar sb. aap ke aise shaandaar ashaar paRh kar nisbatan kam shaandar sha'er par daad daine ko dil naheen kartaa.
6,
dard-e-dil se ho nah jaooN jaaN baHq
jaan-e-man nishtar lagana ch~ooR de!
boht khoob! mujhe be jaan, jaan e man, jaanaaN waghaira ka istemaal bohat pasand hai. laikin astaaza kehte haiN ke in lafz ka bar maHal istemaal thoraa mushkil hai. baaz auqaat in alfaaz se kissi achhchhay khaase sha'er meiN amiyaana pan aajaataa hai. ub chooNke mujhe pasand hai to meiN to ta'reef karooN ga hi
7,
dil se jata hee naheeN tera kheyaal
"koee kaese dil lagana ch~ooR de"?
mujh donoaN miSroaN ka rabt kuch kamzor lag rahaa hai. dil lagane se khayaal e yaar mazboot hotaa hai. laikin aap ke sha'er se aisaa lagtaa hai jaise aap iss leeaye dil lagaanaa naheeN chhoR sakte kyooN ke us ka khyaal naheeN jaa rahaa. kuch gaR baR hai.
8.
dekh~ le Zahad* agar dilbar mira
woh khuda se lao lagana ch~ooR de!
(Zahad=parhezgaar)
aap ki baat maan laite haiN.
9,
kushtah-e-teGh-e-firaq-e-Yaar hooN
jaa Muz^affar mujh~ ko tanha ch~ooR de!
tanha ke leeaye bhi mariaa wohi khyaal hai jo
peena ke leeaye thaa. abhi aamaad hoee hai woh daikh leejiaye,
kushtah e teGh e firaq e yaar hooN
too Muzaffar aanaa jaanaa choR de.
apni kam ilmi par sharmindaa hooN oar aap se seekh kar khushi meHsoos karooN ga.
aap ka shukarguzar,
Muhhammad K. Siddiqui.
