aik ghazal

Post by **Dawood_Rizwan** » Wed Mar 02, 2005 6:00 pm

doosto main ghazal buhat kam likhta hoon. ziyada tar tawajoo nazm ki traf hay. albatta kabhi kabhi ghazal bhi warid hoo jati hay. is ghazal par aap ki aa,ra ka intizar rahay ga.
riwan

Post by **Mahtab Qadr** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 12:27 pm

bahut khoob aap ke hazb e zail sher bahut pasand aaye shukria

kis ke dil mai utar raha hoN maiN
is tarah jo saNwar raha hoN maiN

koi mujh ko samait ley aakar
lamha lamha bikhar raha hoN maiN

khawb to khwab the gila kaisa
kiska matam ye kar raha hoN maiN

ye shab e maaH aur tanhaai
besukooN raat bhar raha hoN maiN (ye shab e mah kaun hai :))

harf e wada ka paas bhi kabtak
zindagi ab mukar raha hoN maiN

aik khwahish ka ye tajeeja hai
jiska tawaan bhar raha hoN maiN

Post by **Dawood_Rizwan** » Thu Mar 03, 2005 5:08 pm

Mahtab Qadr wrote: besukooN raat bhar raha hoN maiN (ye shab e mah kaun hai :))

g Mahtab Qadr sahib is misray ki aik soorat ya bhi thi

chandni rat aru tanhaee

lakin is misray nay lutf nahi dia too moojooda tarteeb kar di. aap kay khiyal main ka koee farq banta hay ???/
rizwan

Post by **Mahtab Qadr** » Fri Mar 04, 2005 2:59 pm

Dawood_Rizwan wrote:
Mahtab Qadr wrote: besukooN raat bhar raha hoN maiN (ye shab e mah kaun hai :))

g Mahtab Qadr sahib is misray ki aik soorat ya bhi thi

chandni rat aru tanhaee

lakin is misray nay lutf nahi dia too moojooda tarteeb kar di. aap kay khiyal main ka koee farq banta hay ???/
rizwan

aapki donon tarkeebeiN khoobsurat haiN aap jo chaheiN rakhein , maiN ne mizahan vo baat kahi thi ,, aap mera ishaara samagh gaye hoNge. baharhal ,shukria
Mahtab Qadr

Post by **irfan abid** » Sat Mar 05, 2005 3:29 am

Dawood Sb, aadaab!

umdah Ghazal kahii hai aap ne! mubaarakbaad qubuul farmaaiye. mandarja zel ash.aar par do ek baateN arz haiN. gar qubuul uftad.

dekh vaadoN ko toRne vaale
umr bhar muntazir rahaa huuN maiN

aap ne :Dar:, :bhar: vaGhaira ke saath :muntazir: kaa qaafiya rakkhaa hai. zer aur zabar ko kabhii kabhaar asaatiza ne bhii nazar.andaaz kiyaa hai, aur aaj kal ke shoraa to be.dhaRak karte haiN.

lekin nafees shaairii (jo aap karte haiN), is bid.at se baaz rahe to bahtar hai.

jaane vaale chale hii jaate haiN
jaane vaaloN kaa muntazir rahaa huuN maiN

is sher ke duusre misre meN koii typo lagtii hai. dekh leejiyegaa.

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:

Post by **naheedv** » Sun Mar 06, 2005 1:32 pm

Rizwan ji,
aadaab,

aap kee ye ghazal pehle bhee parh rakhee hai aur dobaaraah isey paRh kar bhee achaa lagaa.
ghazal aap ke saabiqa kalaam kee tarah aap kee takhliqee quvatoN kaa muN boltaa cuboot hai. daad qubool kijiye!

9th she'r ke 2nd misre meiN shaayad aap se typo ho gaee hai, aap usey deikh lijiye,
ab kis liye khud se Dar rahaa hooN maiN
iss meN

zaaid hai.

10th she'r kaa 2nd misra' bhee shaayad aap kee be.tavajohi kaa shikaar ho geyaa hai, usey bhee deikh lijiye
jaane vaaloN kaa muntazir rahaa hooN maiN

umeed hai koee baat giraaN na guzree ho gee.

shukriya
Naheed

aik ghazal

aik ghazal

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