Assalaam o alaikum
dosto
aik aur tarhi kalaam aapki bacaaratoN ki nazr kar rahay haiN.
gar qubool uftad zahay........
arz kiya hai.......
anbiya(a.s)aaye zamaanay meiN ujaala karnay
maqsaday khilqatay insaaN ka khulaasah karnay
aadmi sainkadoN humko jau nazar aatay haiN
aaye haiN sab yahaaN kuch rauz guzaara karnay
jau bhi ghabraata hai gham say woh yahee kehta hai
"raat aayee hai mire gham meiN ezaafah karnay"
jab kabhie daulatay duniya usay miljaati hai
aadmi lagta hai logoN meiN dikhaawa karnay
apnay matlab ki agar baat nazar aati hai
accha insaan bhi lagta hai chalaawa karnay
dekh daldal meiN gunaahoN ki nah phansna haamid
tujhko bheja gaya duniya meiN ujaala karnay
nateejaye fikr
haamidbaaqari
al hamdulillah
"GHAZAL tarhi mushaira(mehfilay sukhan)aapkay hawaalay
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
-
haamidbaaqri
- -
- Posts: 567
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:50 am
- Location: bangalore, india 00-91-9341253797
- Contact:
"GHAZAL tarhi mushaira(mehfilay sukhan)aapkay hawaalay
Last edited by haamidbaaqri on Sat Apr 07, 2007 7:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
-
muhammad_19k
- -
- Posts: 540
- Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:36 am
- Location: Lahore
- Contact:
Salam Baaqir Sb
daikhiaye kitni jaldi apne taaSSurat likh rahaa hooN.
1. matla bohat achchha hai. is taraH ke mazaameen ke leeaye bhalaa is se achchaa matl'aa kia ho saktaa hai?
2. mafhoom bohat zabardast hai.pehle miSra meiN sanikaroaN se ham iss duniyaa ke saare afraad lay sakte haiN laikin phir ham se pehle wale aor baad walay naheeN ginay jaa sakte. agar kissi tarah miSra meiN "aadmi jo bhi" ya "aadmi aaj tak" waghaira adjust karaiN to mairi samajh ke matabiq ziadaa natural oar kamaal ka shair ho jaa-aye ga.
b. dooSre miSra bebeHr maalomm hotaa hai. meiN is tarah taqteeA kar rahaa hooN. agar koi ghalati hia to wazeH farma di jiaye gaa.
aaye haiN sab yahaaN chand rauz guzaara karnay
aaye haiN sab= faa'ila'tan
yahaaN chand rau=?--------yahaN gar bar lag rahi hai. chand ki noon nahi girai ja sakti
z guzaraa = fa'ilaa'tun
karnay= fa'lun
3. giraah khoob hai. laikin gham donoaN miSroaN meiN mujhe takraar lagi. meiN ne isse aisay sochaa
jo bhi dartaa hai andhairay se yehi kehtaa hai.
raaat aayi......
4. waah! zabardast sh'aer hai.
5. chalawa karna? is ki samajh naheeN aa-i
6. bohat khoob!
overall impression bohat achchhaa hai.
dua'goa,
muhammad k. Siddiqui.
daikhiaye kitni jaldi apne taaSSurat likh rahaa hooN.
1. matla bohat achchha hai. is taraH ke mazaameen ke leeaye bhalaa is se achchaa matl'aa kia ho saktaa hai?
2. mafhoom bohat zabardast hai.pehle miSra meiN sanikaroaN se ham iss duniyaa ke saare afraad lay sakte haiN laikin phir ham se pehle wale aor baad walay naheeN ginay jaa sakte. agar kissi tarah miSra meiN "aadmi jo bhi" ya "aadmi aaj tak" waghaira adjust karaiN to mairi samajh ke matabiq ziadaa natural oar kamaal ka shair ho jaa-aye ga.
b. dooSre miSra bebeHr maalomm hotaa hai. meiN is tarah taqteeA kar rahaa hooN. agar koi ghalati hia to wazeH farma di jiaye gaa.
aaye haiN sab yahaaN chand rauz guzaara karnay
aaye haiN sab= faa'ila'tan
yahaaN chand rau=?--------yahaN gar bar lag rahi hai. chand ki noon nahi girai ja sakti
z guzaraa = fa'ilaa'tun
karnay= fa'lun
3. giraah khoob hai. laikin gham donoaN miSroaN meiN mujhe takraar lagi. meiN ne isse aisay sochaa
jo bhi dartaa hai andhairay se yehi kehtaa hai.
raaat aayi......
4. waah! zabardast sh'aer hai.
5. chalawa karna? is ki samajh naheeN aa-i
6. bohat khoob!
overall impression bohat achchhaa hai.
dua'goa,
muhammad k. Siddiqui.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
-
Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
- -
- Posts: 1258
- Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:40 pm
- Location: London, England
- Contact:
Hamid bh~aee aadaab!
aap ka t^arHee hardila'zeez kalam dekh~ne ka sharf mila. kiya kehne maashAllah bohot kamyabee se aap ne asha'aar kahe haiN. mat^la' mujh~e baRa pasand aaya hai. deegar asha'aar bh~ee nihayat HaseeN aor puracar haiN.
anbiya(a.s)aaye zamaanay meiN ujaala karnay
maqsaday khilqatay insaaN ka khulaasah karnay
aadmi sainkadoN humko jau nazar aatay haiN
aaye haiN sab yahaaN chand rauz guzaara karnay
jau bhi ghabraata hai gham say woh yahee kehta hai
"raat aayee hai mire gham meiN ezaafah karnay"
jab kabhie daulatay duniya usay miljaati hai
aadmi lagta hai logoN meiN dikhaawa karnay
apnay matlab ki agar baat nazar aati hai
accha insaan bhi lagta hai chalaawa karnay
dekh daldal meiN gunaahoN ki nah phansna haamid
tujhko bheja gaya duniya meiN ujaala karnay
meree janib se is koshish par dilee dad aor mubarak baad qubool farmaiye!
wassalam
Nuz^affar
aap ka t^arHee hardila'zeez kalam dekh~ne ka sharf mila. kiya kehne maashAllah bohot kamyabee se aap ne asha'aar kahe haiN. mat^la' mujh~e baRa pasand aaya hai. deegar asha'aar bh~ee nihayat HaseeN aor puracar haiN.
anbiya(a.s)aaye zamaanay meiN ujaala karnay
maqsaday khilqatay insaaN ka khulaasah karnay
aadmi sainkadoN humko jau nazar aatay haiN
aaye haiN sab yahaaN chand rauz guzaara karnay
jau bhi ghabraata hai gham say woh yahee kehta hai
"raat aayee hai mire gham meiN ezaafah karnay"
jab kabhie daulatay duniya usay miljaati hai
aadmi lagta hai logoN meiN dikhaawa karnay
apnay matlab ki agar baat nazar aati hai
accha insaan bhi lagta hai chalaawa karnay
dekh daldal meiN gunaahoN ki nah phansna haamid
tujhko bheja gaya duniya meiN ujaala karnay
meree janib se is koshish par dilee dad aor mubarak baad qubool farmaiye!
wassalam
Nuz^affar
-
haamidbaaqri
- -
- Posts: 567
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:50 am
- Location: bangalore, india 00-91-9341253797
- Contact:
shukriya
iltemaasay duamuhammad_19k wrote:Salam Baaqir Sb
wa alaikukussalaam
mohammed khawar saahib
daikhiaye kitni jaldi apne taaSSurat likh rahaa hooN.
zahay naseeb........jazakallah
1. matla bohat achchha hai. is taraH ke mazaameen ke leeaye bhalaa is se achchaa matl'aa kia ho saktaa hai?
hausalah afzaayee ka shukriya.
2. mafhoom bohat zabardast hai.pehle miSra meiN sanikaroaN se ham iss duniyaa ke saare afraad lay sakte haiN laikin phir ham se pehle wale aor baad walay naheeN ginay jaa sakte. agar kissi tarah miSra meiN "aadmi jo bhi" ya "aadmi aaj tak" waghaira adjust karaiN to mairi samajh ke matabiq ziadaa natural oar kamaal ka shair ho jaa-aye ga.
b. dooSre miSra bebeHr maalomm hotaa hai. meiN is tarah taqteeA kar rahaa hooN. agar koi ghalati hia to wazeH farma di jiaye gaa.
aaye haiN sab yahaaN chand rauz guzaara karnay
aaye haiN sab= faa'ila'tan
yahaaN chand rau=?--------yahaN gar bar lag rahi hai. chand ki noon nahi girai ja sakti
z guzaraa = fa'ilaa'tun
karnay= fa'lun
aap sahi farmaarahay haiN.ghalati ki nishaandahi kay liye hum aapka tahay dil say shukriya ada kartay haiN.
3. giraah khoob hai. laikin gham donoaN miSroaN meiN mujhe takraar lagi. meiN ne isse aisay sochaa
jo bhi dartaa hai andhairay se yehi kehtaa hai.
raaat aayi......
bahut lutf aata hai tkraar meiN.
4. waah! zabardast sh'aer hai.
shukriya
5. chalawa karna? is ki samajh naheeN aa-i
wazeh sher hai...........
6. bohat khoob!
overall impression bohat achchhaa hai.
jazakallah
dua'goa,
muhammad k. Siddiqui.
mukhlis
haamidbaaqri
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
-
haamidbaaqri
- -
- Posts: 567
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:50 am
- Location: bangalore, india 00-91-9341253797
- Contact:
shukriya
jazakallahMuzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar wrote:Hamid bh~aee aadaab!
muzaffar bhai
aap ka t^arHee hardila'zeez kalam dekh~ne ka sharf mila. kiya kehne maashAllah bohot kamyabee se aap ne asha'aar kahe haiN.
bahut bahut shukriya aapka
mat^la' mujh~e baRa pasand aaya hai.
zahay naseeb......
deegar asha'aar bh~ee nihayat HaseeN aor puracar haiN.
bahut bahut shukriya
anbiya(a.s)aaye zamaanay meiN ujaala karnay
maqsaday khilqatay insaaN ka khulaasah karnay
aadmi sainkadoN humko jau nazar aatay haiN
aaye haiN sab yahaaN chand rauz guzaara karnay
jau bhi ghabraata hai gham say woh yahee kehta hai
"raat aayee hai mire gham meiN ezaafah karnay"
jab kabhie daulatay duniya usay miljaati hai
aadmi lagta hai logoN meiN dikhaawa karnay
apnay matlab ki agar baat nazar aati hai
accha insaan bhi lagta hai chalaawa karnay
dekh daldal meiN gunaahoN ki nah phansna haamid
tujhko bheja gaya duniya meiN ujaala karnay
meree janib se is koshish par dilee dad aor mubarak baad qubool farmaiye!
wassalam
Nuz^affar
mukhlis
haamidbaaqri
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa