:: KaheN waai'z walii na hojaaye :: 11 asha'aar :-)

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

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Star Mind
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:: KaheN waai'z walii na hojaaye :: 11 asha'aar :-)

Post by Star Mind »

Yaraan-e-meHfil , aadaab !!

go k ye misra'-e-tarah kaafi puraana hochukaa hai ab , aur taqreeba" sabhi aHbaab ne is par taba' aazmaai bhi ki hai , aur bahut achchi ghazleN kahi haiN , ab aap khud andaaza lagaasakte haiN , k meri "tuk-bandi" ki un Haseen-o-jameel ghazloN k aage kyaa haissiyyat ?? :roll:
magar maiN seekhna chaahtaa hoN , is leye maiN ne bhi taba' aazmaaii ki hai , aur ye ghazal maiN ne mushaai'ra maiN bhi paRhee thee , aur aaj ise post karne jaaraha hoN !! umeed hai k asaatiza ghalatiyoN ki nishaandahi kareNge !! aur baaqi aHbaab gahaltiyoN ki daad deNge !! :lol: :lol:
shukriya !!

to lejeye ghazal Haazir hai !

:: Urdu Version ::

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:: Roman Version ::

1.
Jaam dil ka tuhii na hojaaye
Dard ye aakhrii na hojaaye!! :roll:

2.
Shaai'rii , shaai'rii na hojaaye ! :roll:
shea'r , gar , zindagii na hojaaye !! :evil:

3.
Band ab may-kashii na hojaaye ! :roll:
"kaheN waai'z , walii na hojaaye !!" :(

4.
Khadsha iblees ko ye rehtaa hai ! :roll:
Aadamii , aadamii na hojaaye !! :roll:

5.
Shor itnaa hai kis leye dil maiN ?? :roll:
Aek dam khaamushii na hojaaye !! :cry:

6.
Haaye tera khayaal ! kyaa kehney !! :shock:
Gham saNwar kar parii na hojaaye !! :roll:

7.
Jis adaa par fidaa howaa thaa maiN
Woh tirii be-rukhii na hojaaye ! :evil:

8.
May pilaanaa hi saaqiyaa teraa !!
Miri tishnaa-labii na hojaaye !! :roll:

9.
Phir a'daalat lagee hai ulfat kii ! :)
Husn , phir se barii na hojaaye !! :evil:

10.
YouN na mujh se milaa nigaahoN ko ! :shock:
Tiri dhaRkan, mirii na hojaaye !! :D

aur ab maqta shareer ....oh , sorry.....shareef ;)

11.
SuHbat-e-zaahidaaN maiN reh k :Zia: !!
kaheN tu , muttaqii na hojaaye !! :lol: :lol:

.........................................................................................
Hasb-e-ma'mool , aap k "mufeed" tabsiroN ka intezaar rahyegaa !!
:D

shukriya !!

mokhliS : Zia Baloch :-)
Last edited by Star Mind on Fri Mar 04, 2005 3:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki

Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne

Zia Baloch
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naheedv
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Post by naheedv »

Zia jee,

aap kee ye tarahee ghazal deikhee, gau ke iss misre' par buhat se dostoN ne taba' aazmaayee kee thee aur qareeb qareeb sab ne hee achaa kalaam sunaayaa. ab un meN aap kaa naam bhee shaamil ho geyaa aur magar aap kee ghazal mujhe iss lehaaz se thoRi munfarid mehsoos huee ke iss meN rivaayatee raNg se haT kar khayaalaat nazm karne kee koshish kee hai aap ne, jo ke achee hai magar mujhe chaNd aik asha'ar samajh meN naheeN aa sake lekin maiN intezaar kartee hooN ke shaayad ustaad hazraat un par thoRee roshani Daal deN.
fil.vaqt aap iss kaavish par daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool kijiye!

aik aur baat, ye aap kee ghazaloN meN "peene pilaane" kaa zikr kuch vaafir miqdaar meN naheeN hotaa hai? ;) khair tau hai :)

mukhliS
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Star Mind
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Post by Star Mind »

naheedv wrote:Zia jee,

aap kee ye tarahee ghazal deikhee, gau ke iss misre' par buhat se dostoN ne taba' aazmaayee kee thee aur qareeb qareeb sab ne hee achaa kalaam sunaayaa. ab un meN aap kaa naam bhee shaamil ho geyaa aur magar aap kee ghazal mujhe iss lehaaz se thoRi munfarid mehsoos huee ke iss meN rivaayatee raNg se haT kar khayaalaat nazm karne kee koshish kee hai aap ne, jo ke achee hai magar mujhe chaNd aik asha'ar samajh meN naheeN aa sake lekin maiN intezaar kartee hooN ke shaayad ustaad hazraat un par thoRee roshani Daal deN.

Naheed Jee, aadaab ! :)

ye to aap ki zarra-nawaazi aur Husn-e-nazar hai, warna "gajal" ki ye majaal k "Ghazal" ka muqaabila kare !! :lol: :lol:
aap ne likka hai k chaNd aek maqaamaat par aap ko kuch ash'aar ko samajhne maiN diqqat paish aarahi hai !!
asaatiza to inshaa Allah raushnee DaaleNge hi :D , magar kyaa hi achcha hota aap ne un aha'aar ki nishaandahi bhi kii hotii, taa k maiN apni ghalati se aagaah hojaataa !! :-)

fil.vaqt aap iss kaavish par daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool kijiye!

bahut bahut shkriya aap ka , aap hamesha jis khoobSoorat andaaz maiN , aur jis firaakh-delii se HoSla baRhaatee haiN , woh ba-zaat-e-khud , qaabil-e-taHseen hai !! so aap bhi daad qabool kejeye !! ;)

aik aur baat, ye aap kee ghazaloN meN "peene pilaane" kaa zikr kuch vaafir miqdaar meN naheeN hotaa hai? ;) khair tau hai :)

mukhliS
Naheed

Huzoor !! is baat ka jwaab to mere chacha marHoom barsoN pehle de chuke haiN, phir bala ab mujhe kyaa zaroorat k maiN ye gustaakhii karta phiroN , farmaate haiN :
"Har chaNd ho , mushaahida-e-Haq ki guftugoo
Bantii nahiN hai , baada-o-saaGhar kahe bagher !!" :twisted:

ab kyaa khiyaal hai aap ka ?? ;)

bahut bahut shukriya , umeed hai k aayenda bhi himmat baRhaatii raheNgee !! :D

mokhliS : Zia Baloch :-)
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki

Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne

Zia Baloch
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nigaah
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Re: :: KaheN waai'z walii na hojaaye :: 11 asha'aar :-)

Post by nigaah »

go k ye misra'-e-tarah kaafi puraana hochukaa hai ab , aur taqreeba" sabhi aHbaab ne is par taba' aazmaai bhi ki hai , aur bahut achchi ghazleN kahi haiN , ab aap khud andaaza lagaasakte haiN , k meri "tuk-bandi" ki un Haseen-o-jameel ghazloN k aage kyaa haissiyyat ?? :roll:
magar maiN seekhna chaahtaa hoN , is leye maiN ne bhi taba' aazmaaii ki hai , aur ye ghazal maiN ne mushaai'ra maiN bhi paRhee thee , aur aaj ise post karne jaaraha hoN !! umeed hai k asaatiza ghalatiyoN ki nishaandahi kareNge !! aur baaqi aHbaab gahaltiyoN ki daad deNge !! :lol: :lol:
shukriya !!
kasr-e-nafsi say bharpoor hai tehreer aap ki....un Haseen-o-Jameel GhazaloN maiN aap ki Ghazal bhi kuch kam dilkash nahiN hai wagarna .....GhalatiyoN ki nishaandahi tou asaatizah hi karengay ...lekin meri aadat hai ke kisi baat maiN shak ho tou us ki nishaandahi kar deti hooN ...aur us say meri muraad Khud seekhna hota hai...:)


to lejeye ghazal Haazir hai !
1.
Jaam dil ka tuhii na hojaaye
Dard ye aakhrii na hojaaye!! :roll:


waahhhh...bohut Khubsoorat matlaa ...aur munfarid bhi...
3.
Band ab may-kashii na hojaaye ! :roll:
"kaheN waai'z , walii na hojaaye !!" :(
kia Khoob girah lagai hai hazrat aap nay....daad qubool kijye..
4.
Khadsha iblees ko ye rehtaa hai ! :roll:
Aadamii , aadamii na hojaaye !! :roll:
Iblees ko bila waja wehem ho gaya hai...:)
5.
Shor itnaa hai kis leye dil maiN ?? :roll:
Aek dam khaamushii na hojaaye !! :cry:
shair ye bhi bohut dilkash hai...lekin mujhay aisa mehsoos hua ke pehle misray maiN jo sawaal hai wo jawab ka taqaaza kar raha hai ke "shor kis waja say hai"....lekin agla misra is sawaal ka jawaab nahiN hai....

shor itnaa hai jo abhii dil maiN!!
aek dam Khaamushii na hojaaye

ye mehez mera adnaa sa Khayaal hai jesa ke maine bayaan kiya ....maiN Khud seekhnay ke liye is ka izhaar karti hooN ....taakay agar mere Khayal ki Khaami mujhay nazar naa aaye tou aap us ki islaah farmaa daiN....:)
9.
Phir a'daalat lagee hai ulfat kii ! :)
Husn , phir se barii na hojaaye !! :evil:
ye tou tab hi mumkin hai gar munsif husnparast naa ho...mazaaq bartaraf ....bohut umdaa Khayal hai...
10.
YouN na mujh se milaa nigaahoN ko ! :shock:
Tiri dhaRkan, mirii na hojaaye !! :D
"tiri" ki jaga beher "teri" ka mutaaliba nahiN kar rahi yahaN??....mujhay aisa mehsoos hua ...dekh lijye ga...aur agar mera Khayaal sahi nahiN tou tasaheeh kijye ga...:)

aur ab maqta shareer ....oh , sorry.....shareef ;)
11.
SuHbat-e-zaahidaaN maiN reh k :Zia: !!
kaheN tu , muttaqii na hojaaye !! :lol: :lol:
ye bhi wehem hi maloom hota hai..... Khair...maqtaa bhi bohut pasand aaya..

Zia Baloch Sahab

aap ki Ghazal per hamaari daad-o-sitaaish haazir hai...baaz muqaamat per apnay adnaa Khayaalat ka barmalaa izhaar bhi kiya hai ...umeed hai tab'e naazuk ko garaaN na guzray hoNgay.....dua hai Khoob say Khoob tar likhtay rahiye....Ameen

Nigaah
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irfan abid
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Post by irfan abid »

azeezii Zia Sb, aadaab!

aap kii ye taaza Ghazal dekhii aur lutf.andoz huaa. aap ne apne maKhsuus raNg meN gul khilaaye haiN. :-) daad haazir hai!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
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Star Mind
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Post by Star Mind »

irfan abid wrote:azeezii Zia Sb, aadaab!

aap kii ye taaza Ghazal dekhii aur lutf.andoz huaa. aap ne apne maKhsuus raNg meN gul khilaaye haiN. :-) daad haazir hai!

niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
W/Aadaab Irfan SaaHib, :-)

Huzoor !! aap ki tashreef aavarii hi , hamaare leye baai'c-e-Sad ifteKhaar hai , che jaaye k aap ne itnee ta'reef bhi kardii :oops:
aap jis tarah se hamesha meri HoSla-afzaaii farmaate haiN , mera Khoon kayee kayee gunaa baRh jaataa hai 8) . tah-e-dil se aap ka mamnoon hoN :-) . bahut bahut shukriya :-)

moKhliS: Zia Baloch :-)
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki

Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne

Zia Baloch
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Safiya
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Bohot acche

Post by Safiya »

Zia sahab
Aadaab aur tasleemaat kubool karen, ye aapki pehli ghazal paDi haiy humne, aur choonke abhi yahaan ziyada din nahi huve hain isiliye is tarahi misre waali ghazal kisi aur ki abhi nahi paDi haiy humne.

haan albatta aapki ghazal bohot pasand aayee, sheyr 4,6,9 aur 10 bohot pasand aaye, baaqi mey nigah saheba se muttafiq hoon, jin ashaar ki unhone nishaandehi ki haiy un per ek nazar aur daali jaa sakti haiy. hume aapka andaaz bohot pasand aayaa, umeed haiy ke aap daad kubool karenge.

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Re: :: KaheN waai'z walii na hojaaye :: 11 asha'aar :-)

Post by Star Mind »

nigaah wrote:
go k ye misra'-e-tarah kaafi puraana hochukaa hai ab , aur taqreeba" sabhi aHbaab ne is par taba' aazmaai bhi ki hai , aur bahut achchi ghazleN kahi haiN , ab aap khud andaaza lagaasakte haiN , k meri "tuk-bandi" ki un Haseen-o-jameel ghazloN k aage kyaa haissiyyat ??
magar maiN seekhna chaahtaa hoN , is leye maiN ne bhi taba' aazmaaii ki hai , aur ye ghazal maiN ne mushaai'ra maiN bhi paRhee thee , aur aaj ise post karne jaaraha hoN !! umeed hai k asaatiza ghalatiyoN ki nishaandahi kareNge !! aur baaqi aHbaab gahaltiyoN ki daad deNge !!
shukriya !!
kasr-e-nafsi say bharpoor hai tehreer aap ki....un Haseen-o-Jameel GhazaloN maiN aap ki Ghazal bhi kuch kam dilkash nahiN hai wagarna .....GhalatiyoN ki nishaandahi tou asaatizah hi karengay ...lekin meri aadat hai ke kisi baat maiN shak ho tou us ki nishaandahi kar deti hooN ...aur us say meri muraad Khud seekhna hota hai...:)

Huzoor !! khudaara , Haqqeqat ko maSliHat ka jaama mat pehnaaye !! warna bahut kuch Hijaab-e-maSliHat ki nazr hojaayega !! :evil:
ba-har-Haal , aap ka Husn-e-nazar hai !! :)
aap ki ye a'aadat hameN , beHad pasand aayee , kaash yahi a'aadat tamaam aHbaab maiN paaii jaati , to aaj maujoda kalaam ka maa'yaar bahut baRh jaataa , mera dil bhi yahi chaahtaa hai , magar har koii aap jaisa zuaq aur fahm to rakhtaa nahiN k kuch keh sakey !! jaise k ham !! :C

1.
Jaam dil ka tuhii na hojaaye
Dard ye aakhrii na hojaaye!!
waahhhh...bohut Khubsoorat matlaa ...aur munfarid bhi...

bahut bahut shukriya Huzoor !! , daad ka ye andaaz bahut pasand aayaa !!
shukriya !! :)
3.
Band ab may-kashii na hojaaye !
"kaheN waai'z , walii na hojaaye !!"

kia Khoob girah lagai hai hazrat aap nay....daad qubool kijye..

kyaa kehney aap ki daad ka !! jo shea'r se bhi khoob tar hai !! ;)
4.
Khadsha iblees ko ye rehtaa hai !
Aadamii , aadamii na hojaaye !!
Iblees ko bila waja wehem ho gaya hai...:)

fil-Haal to yahi aacaar haiN !! :(
5.
Shor itnaa hai kis leye dil maiN ??
Aek dam khaamushii na hojaaye !!
shair ye bhi bohut dilkash hai...lekin mujhay aisa mehsoos hua ke pehle misray maiN jo sawaal hai wo jawab ka taqaaza kar raha hai ke "shor kis waja say hai"....lekin agla misra is sawaal ka jawaab nahiN hai....

shor itnaa hai jo abhii dil maiN!!
aek dam Khaamushii na hojaaye

ye mehez mera adnaa sa Khayaal hai jesa ke maine bayaan kiya ....maiN Khud seekhnay ke liye is ka izhaar karti hooN ....taakay agar mere Khayal ki Khaami mujhay nazar naa aaye tou aap us ki islaah farmaa daiN....:)

Huzoor !! khaamakhwaah kyoN kasar-e-nafsi se kaam lati haiN ?? :evil:
aap to mahaa tabSira-negaar haiN !! :) . aap ki raaye ka iHteraam karna aur us pe dimaaghee kharcha karna to ham par farz hai !! :D
beHad Shukriya !! :)
9.
Phir a'daalat lagee hai ulfat kii ! :)
Husn , phir se barii na hojaaye !!
ye tou tab hi mumkin hai gar munsif husnparast naa ho...mazaaq bartaraf ....bohut umdaa Khayal hai...

Huzoor !! yahi to Dar hai , woh aap ne aek shea'r nahiN sunaa hai k
"Achchi Soorat bhi kyaa buree shay hai !!"
........................................................." :twisted:
bahut bahut shukriya !! :)
10.
YouN na mujh se milaa nigaahoN ko !
Tiri dhaRkan, mirii na hojaaye !! :D
"tiri" ki jaga beher "teri" ka mutaaliba nahiN kar rahi yahaN??....mujhay aisa mehsoos hua ...dekh lijye ga...aur agar mera Khayaal sahi nahiN tou tasaheeh kijye ga...:)

Huzoor !! donoN tarah se jaaiz hai !!
Teri DhaRkan ka vazn hai = faai'elaatun
aur tiri dhaRkan ka vazn hai = fai'elaatun

aur ye donoN jaaiz haiN !! :D kyoN ke tire/tiri ki YE Shareef to ba-har-Haal donoN SooratoN maiN gitri hai !! :twisted:
bahut bahut shukriya !! :)
aur ab maqta shareer ....oh , sorry.....shareef

11.
SuHbat-e-zaahidaaN maiN reh k :Zia: !!
kaheN tu , muttaqii na hojaaye !!
ye bhi wehem hi maloom hota hai..... Khair...maqtaa bhi bohut pasand aaya..

Bajaa farmaaya , ye bhi wahm hai "whehem" nahiN !! :evil:
aur haaN is maqta ko donoN zaayeoN se dekheye !! to aur bhi dil-chasp lage ga !! ;)

Zia Baloch Sahab

aap ki Ghazal per hamaari daad-o-sitaaish haazir hai...baaz muqaamat per apnay adnaa Khayaalat ka barmalaa izhaar bhi kiya hai ...umeed hai tab'e naazuk ko garaaN na guzray hoNgay.....dua hai Khoob say Khoob tar likhtay rahiye....Ameen

Nigaah

Nigaah SaaHiba, aap ki zarra-nawaazi keleye aap ka beHad mamnoon hoN !! . naa jee naa , ham hargiz buraa nahiN manaayeNge , balke khushee manaayeNge k aap ne hameN aayena dikhaayaa hai !! :D
magar Huzoor !! Adna dimaagh maiN to sirf "adnaa khyiaalaat" hi aasakte haiN !! :roll: :( .
bahut bahut shukriya !!

mokhliS : Zia Baloch
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki

Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne

Zia Baloch
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Star Mind
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Re: Bohot acche

Post by Star Mind »

Safiya wrote:Zia sahab
Aadaab aur tasleemaat kubool karen, ye aapki pehli ghazal paDi haiy humne, aur choonke abhi yahaan ziyada din nahi huve hain isiliye is tarahi misre waali ghazal kisi aur ki abhi nahi paDi haiy humne.

haan albatta aapki ghazal bohot pasand aayee, sheyr 4,6,9 aur 10 bohot pasand aaye, baaqi mey nigah saheba se muttafiq hoon, jin ashaar ki unhone nishaandehi ki haiy un per ek nazar aur daali jaa sakti haiy. hume aapka andaaz bohot pasand aayaa, umeed haiy ke aap daad kubool karenge.

Safiya
W/Salaam,

moHtarama Safiya SaaHiba, ma'zirat chaahtaa hoN k jawaab maiN ta'kheer hogayee :oops:

sab se pehle to maiN aap ko is bazm maiN Khush-aamadeed kehtaa hoN , umeed hai yahaaN aap ka waqt achcha guzreyga !! :-)

aap ne jis andaaz maiN meri is Haqeer see kaavish ko saraaha hai , us keley maiN aap ka beHad mamnoon hoN, yaqeena ye aap ki zarra-nawaazi hi hai :wink:
beHad mamnoon hoN , jee aap ne bajaa farmaaya Nigaah SaaHiba ka pur-lutf tabSira waaq'ee qaabil-e-a'mal hai :) bahut bahut shukriya :-)

moKhliS : Zia Baloch :-)
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki

Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne

Zia Baloch
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Star Mind
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Post by Star Mind »

sara_j wrote:Zia saahib,

salaam.

muafi chahti hoon bohat dair baad aayi lekin hui takheer tou kuch baais-e-takheer bhi tha!

aapki ye ghazal bohat hi dilkush aur lajawaab hai, khaas taur per aapki awaaz mein sun ker tou lutf dobala hojata hai.

bohat hi kamyaab ghazal per dhair saari daad aur mubarakabaad qubool keejiye.

aapke aur bhi kalaam ka intezar rahega.

sara

W/Salaam , Saara SaaHiba :-) kaisee haiN aap?

ma'zirat chaahtaa hoN , jawaab maiN takheer hogayee :oops:

aap ne jis andaaz maiN Ghazal ki ta'reef ki hai , aur meri kaavish ko na sirf saraaha balke use sunaa bhi aur dobaara ta'reef ki !! yaqeena ye aap ki firaaKh-dilee hai , jis keleye maiN aap ka beHad mamnoon hoN , shukriya :-)

moKhliS : Zia Baloch 8)
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki

Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne

Zia Baloch
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