Mahobbat ne teri kiyaa is kadar bekhabar mujhe

[manu1979]

Hello friends i m new member of this site.I m really very much excited while posting my ghazal on this site. i read many time sarwar sir and anmol ji on ebazm.

i m posting my ghazal on this site first time. if u find any mistake or way to make it more beautiful and heart touching , please guide me to make it improved

122/122/122/122/1212



Mahobbat ne teri kiyaa is kadar bekhabar mujhe
Nahi aa rahaa kuchh bhi tere siwaa ab nazar mujhe

Khadaa huN vahiiN mai jahaaN se bhi ham tum bichhar gaye
Bichhar kar na koi raas aayii sanam rehgujar mujhe

Na kaayal the shaayad shab-e-gham se hi hamsafar mere
Jalaate rahe roshani ko yeh raah-e-safar mujhe

Na ab door reh kar jiyaa jaay ek pal bhi bin tere
Sajaa kar ghazal rakhna lab par yun tum umrabhar mujhe

Nigaaho men jab neend rateiN pirone lage tabhi
Bithaa kar rakho khwaab ki tarha hadd-e-nazar mujhe


Kiyaa ishq ka jo yeh ailaan duniyaa ki bheed meN
Hai Dhundhe nigaah-e-rakeebaaN sabhi dar-badar mujhe

BahaareiN mere aangan mai hi ho jati hai khizaaN
Diye zindagi ne the guNcha-e-gham iss kadar mujhe



Hopes u all like it.
any suggetions are most wecome at
acharya_mj@yahoo.co.in
9898167645

[sbashwar]

Mohtarami Acharya Saheb
Adaab
Ghazal bohat achchi kahi, zail ka ashar bohat pasand aye:

Mahobbat ne teri kiyaa is kadar bekhabar mujhe
Nahi aa rahaa kuchh bhi tere siwaa ab nazar mujhe


Na ab door reh kar jiyaa jaay ek pal bhi bin tere
Sajaa kar ghazal rakhna lab par yun tum umrabhar mujhe

Nigaaho men jab neend rateiN pirone lage tabhi
Bithaa kar rakho khwaab ki tarha hadd-e-nazar mujhe

BahaareiN mere aangan mai hi ho jati hai khizaaN
Diye zindagi ne the guNcha-e-gham iss kadar mujhe

Wah Wah, meri daad aur mubarakbaad qubool kijiye
Shukria
Salem Bashwar

[muhammad_19k]

Janab Achaariyaa SaHeb,


aap ki aik bohat achchhi koshish maire saamne hai. wazn o beHr mein masaail haiN. umeed hay ke likhte rahaiN ge to to behtari aati jaa-aye gi.

darasal maira khyaal hai aap ko beHr samajhne meiN ghalati ho gayee hai. saHeeH wazn hai.

122/122/122/122------ bus yahaaN tak. haan chotaa rukn, sha'er ke pehle miSra meiN aaap 122 ki jagaa 1221 lay sakte haiN.

agar iss ke mutabiq agar aap ke matlaa ko dobaraa tarteeb diyaa jaa-aye to kuch ye shakal banay gi,

Mohabbat ne tairii kiyaa bay khabar hai.
Nahi aa rahaa kuch mujhe ub nazar hai.

iss usool par baaqi ashaar ko durust karni ki koshish ki jiaaye aap ki ghazal yaqeenun aik khoobSoorat rang ikhtiar kar lay gi..


aap ka mukhliS,

Muammad K. Siddiqui.