aik khoobSoorat ghazal---------------Muhammad K. Siddiqui

Post by **yasir shah** » Mon May 07, 2007 2:28 am

Khaawar SaaHib !
assalaamoa'laikum

aap ki Ghazal ,us peh honay waalay tabSiroN , aur aap ki sifaarishaat ko paish-e-naZar raKhtay huve yehee kahooN gaa keh in dinoN t'aweel tabSiray karnaa khat'ray se khaalee naheeN hay kyooNkeh akcar jhooTee daad peh mabnee qaleel tabSiray ziyaaday pyaaray hotay heN - HaalaNkeh aik aChChaa shaai'r jald yaa ba.dair khoob jaantaa hay yaa jaan jaataa hay keh us kaa fulaaN she'r kis qadar daad kaa mustaHiq hay yaa thaa- is Hawaalay se "picasso"(muSawwir) ki aik taHreer agar waqt milaa to paish karooN gaa,, paRhiye gaa -chunaancheh shaai'r ko az.khud aise loGoN ki HauSilahshikanee karnee chaahiye keh jo HauSilah.afzaaee ke naam peh daroGh.goee se kaam laitay heN- laiken yeh bahut mushkil kaam hay keh aakhir murawwat bhi koi cheez hay ,,magar yeh maqaam-e-bai.murawwatee hay -bat'aur-e-jumlah-e-mu'tariZah suniye :

aChChee naheeN ai shaah ab itnee bhi murawwat !
shahroN meN kiyaa kartay ho daihaatee maHabbat !!

daiKhiye! aaj hameN apnay bachpan ke usaatizah ki zaahiree bai.murawwatiyoN par kitnaa pyaar aataa hay- muKhtaSan yeh keh baqaul Mohsin Bhopali :

"Khoob hay khoob.tar hay khoob.tareen
tajziye yooN naheeN huvaa kartay"

kahnay ko mere paas in fuZool baatoN ke i'laawah kuCh naheeN -haaN !aik baat hay , woh waqt door naheeN jab aap aise ash'aar kah jaa.eN gay keh meN to kyaa maHfil a'sh a'sh kaR uThay gee filHaal aap baHr-o-qaafiyah ki paabandiyoN meN uljhay naZar aatay heN -

yasir

Post by **muhammad_19k** » Mon May 07, 2007 3:22 am

JANAB YASIR SAHEB,

meiN aik baar phir aap ke is tabSira ke leeaye shukrguzaar hooN. kiyaa hi achhchhaa hotaa agar aap in ahshaar par fardun fardun chahay nehait hi ikhitSaar ke saath likh daitey kis iss jagaa radeef ka Haq is wajaa se adaa naheeN ho rahaa to mujh jaise mubtadi ko jo baat b'aad meiN pataaa chalni hai woh abhi pataa chal jaati.

du'aa go,
MUHAMMAD K. SIDDIQUI.

yasir shah wrote:Khaawar SaaHib !
assalaamoa'laikum

aap ki Ghazal ,us peh honay waalay tabSiroN , aur aap ki sifaarishaat ko paish-e-naZar raKhtay huve yehee kahooN gaa keh in dinoN t'aweel tabSiray karnaa khat'ray se khaalee naheeN hay kyooNkeh akcar jhooTee daad peh mabnee qaleel tabSiray ziyaaday pyaaray hotay heN - HaalaNkeh aik aChChaa shaai'r jald yaa ba.dair khoob jaantaa hay yaa jaan jaataa hay keh us kaa fulaaN she'r kis qadar daad kaa mustaHiq hay yaa thaa- is Hawaalay se "picasso"(muSawwir) ki aik taHreer agar waqt milaa to paish karooN gaa,, paRhiye gaa -chunaancheh shaai'r ko az.khud aise loGoN ki HauSilahshikanee karnee chaahiye keh jo HauSilah.afzaaee ke naam peh daroGh.goee se kaam laitay heN- laiken yeh bahut mushkil kaam hay keh aakhir murawwat bhi koi cheez hay ,,magar yeh maqaam-e-bai.murawwatee hay -bat'aur-e-jumlah-e-mu'tariZah suniye :

aChChee naheeN ai shaah ab itnee bhi murawwat !
shahroN meN kiyaa kartay ho daihaatee maHabbat !!

daiKhiye! aaj hameN apnay bachpan ke usaatizah ki zaahiree bai.murawwatiyoN par kitnaa pyaar aataa hay- muKhtaSan yeh keh baqaul Mohsin Bhopali :

"Khoob hay khoob.tar hay khoob.tareen
tajziye yooN naheeN huvaa kartay"

kahnay ko mere paas in fuZool baatoN ke i'laawah kuCh naheeN -haaN !aik baat hay , woh waqt door naheeN jab aap aise ash'aar kah jaa.eN gay keh meN to kyaa maHfil a'sh a'sh kaR uThay gee filHaal aap baHr-o-qaafiyah ki paabandiyoN meN uljhay naZar aatay heN -

yasir

Post by **yasir shah** » Wed May 09, 2007 2:49 am

assalaamoa'laika !

mu'aaf keejiye gaa zaraa see teekheer ho ga.ee ,,yeh leejiye mukhtaSaran liKh daita hooN ,aagay aap ki marZee

1-go aap kahnaa chaahtay heN keh zulf ko shab ke bajaa.e ghaTaa aur rukh ko sooraj bajaa.ay diyaa baaNdhtay heN ,laiken she'r Phir bhi bai.rabt hay keh ghaTaa kaa diye se kyaa ta'lluq ! neez yeh keh raat kaa ta'alluq chaand se hay nah keh sooraj se -

2-hawaa baaNdhnaa yahaaN durust naheeN hay neez "jooRaa baaNdhnaa" koi muHaawirah nah thaa bas lafZee i'tibaar se isti'maal huwaa-

3-"agar" ki jagah "tire" kar deN -mere khayaal se aap ne is meN "dar par " ki jagah "dar se" ki tarmeem kee hay -aChChee hay -she'r khoob hay

4-bhaai ! khudaa kaa waastah "i'shaq" nah kahaa kareN -neelee tarmeem pasand aaee -daad HaaZir hay bas "Husn" ki jagah kuCh aur socheN yaa "mu'ammah" ki jagah koi doosraa lafz talaash kareN naheeN to "i'shq" hi rahnay deN

5-yaqeen maaniye ! taar baaNdhnaa yahaaN munaasib naheeN hay

6- ridaa baaNhnaa bhi bahut naamunaasib hay -

khush rahiye
du'aago
yasir

Post by **muhammad_19k** » Wed May 09, 2007 10:06 am

JANAB YASIR SEHEB,

walaikum us salam.

sub se pehlay to aik baat nehait dianat daari ke saath arz kartaa hooN. ke issay behac na samjhiaye ga. aor yaqeen rakhiaye ke meiN bohat kuch seekh rahaa hooN.

1-go aap kahnaa chaahtay heN keh zulf ko shab ke bajaa.e ghaTaa aur rukh ko sooraj bajaa.ay diyaa baaNdhtay heN ,laiken she'r Phir bhi bai.rabt hay keh ghaTaa kaa diye se kyaa ta'lluq ! neez yeh keh raat kaa ta'alluq chaand se hay nah keh sooraj se -

ji mien rukh ka bilkul zikr naheen kar rahaai.

jo zulfoaN ko un ki ghataa baandhatay haiN.
woh sooraj ko goyaa diyaa baandhtay haiN

agar koi un ki zulfoaN ke ghataa se tashbeeh daitaa hai to (woh bohat kam aqal hai us ko tashbee daini hi naheeN aati woh aisa shaksh hai ) jo sooraj ko diaye se tasbhee daitaa hai. ( yani sooraj ke rutbay ko kam kar daaitaa hai aor agar ye baat waapis lay kar jaa-ii jaa-aye to ghataa keh kar zulf ke rutbay ko kam kar daitaa hai.) Shair ke leeaye zulf e meHboob ghataa se baRh kar hoee.

2-hawaa baaNdhnaa yahaaN durust naheeN hay neez "jooRaa baaNdhnaa" koi muHaawirah nah thaa bas lafZee i'tibaar se isti'maal huwaa-

hawaa baandhnaa bhi meiN ne lafzi mai'enaN meN isetaamal kiyaa hai. ub hawaa ko to baandhaa hi naheeN jaa saktaa. so laazmi baat hai ke ye Srif hawaa bandhne ki manzar kashi hai. jaise ke meiN ne pehlay wazahat ki thi ke jub taiz hawaa meiN uRtaa huwaa aanch dobaraa kaandhay par daalne ki koshish ki jaa-aye to kuch aisaa hi manzar hoga.

3-"agar" ki jagah "tire" kar deN -mere khayaal se aap ne is meN "dar par " ki jagah "dar se" ki tarmeem kee hay -aChChee hay -she'r khoob hay

mujhe khushi hoee ke aik sher to paas huwaa. aap ki paish karda tajweez karda lafz rakh kar bhi sochooaN ga.

4-bhaai ! khudaa kaa waastah "i'shaq" nah kahaa kareN -neelee tarmeem pasand aaee -daad HaaZir hay bas "Husn" ki jagah kuCh aur socheN yaa "mu'ammah" ki jagah koi doosraa lafz talaash kareN naheeN to "i'shq" hi rahnay deN

is type par aap ko takleef hoee maa'zirat. meiN is tabdeeli par bhi zaroor ghor karooN ga.

5-yaqeen maaniye ! taar baaNdhnaa yahaaN munaasib naheeN hay

ji theek.

6- ridaa baaNhnaa bhi bahut naamunaasib hay -

hmmm. ye maraiy leeaye qaabil e fikr baat hai.

aap se guzaarish hai ke meri kavishoN par gehri nazar rakhiaye apni qeemit raa-aye se nawaazatey rahiaye. agar meiN aapni kam samjhi ki wajaa se aap ki koi baat na samajh paa-ooN to mairi kam fehmi ko mairaa 'uzar jaaniaye.aor agar aise moqoaN par waqt ho to aik baar phir samjhane ki koshish kar leejiaye aor agar naa ho us baat par mujhe chahaye mairay Haal par ChoR dijiaye ga laikin baaqi batoaN par apne comments daitay rahiaye ga.

teh e dil see aap ka shukrguzaar,
MUHAMMAD K. SIDDIQUI.

Post by **muhammad_19k** » Mon May 14, 2007 1:39 pm

REMINDER

meN jaantaa hooN ke sub log bohat maSroof haiN aor kissi ke paas itnaa time naheeN ke baar baar comments day. laikin meiN zaroorat meHsoos kar rahaa hooN. mujhe doosri baar ye apni is post par aap ke comments maaNgne meiN koi 'aar naheeN.

Jawaid SaHeb
Muzaffar SaHeb
Saraa SaHiba
Sohail SaHeb

meiN aap tamaam logoaN ka shukrguzaar hooN k mujhe sikhaane k leeaye aap itni meHnat kar rahay haiN. aap se multimis hooN ke nikaat par marii mazeed taSHeeH farmaa daiN. meiN apne apne aap ko defend kar ke aap ka qeemti waqt naheeN barbaad karnaa chahtaa laikin ye zaroor samajhna chaahtaa hooN ke kia ghalat hai aor kyooN?

1. jo zulfoN ko un ki ghataa baandhtay haiN
woh sooraj ko goyaa diyaa baandhtay haiN

aor molvi Muhammad Naeem ul Haq ka ye sher' daikhiaye jo pehlay to iss matlaa ka phir poori ghazal ka moharrak huwaa

jo tum apne rukhsaar ko chaand maano
to ham gaisooaN ka ghataa baandhteN haiN.

unhooN ne gaisoa-oan ko ghataa bandhaa hai. yani gaisoo ko ghataa kahaa hai. to mairaa ye khyaal hai ke agar zulf yaar ko koi ghataa kahay to aise hi hai jaise sooraj ko diyaa kahaa ja rahaa ho.

2. hawaa jo shararat karay un se koi
woh aanchal meiN apni hawaa bandhtay haiN

iss sher meiN baandhana apne lafzi m'anoaN meiN ist'emaal huwaa hai. jaise ke :aazaad: ne is sher meiN kiyaa hai.

qiamat bapaa ho gi uthhay ga fitnaa
woh juRaa naheeN ik balaa bandhtay haiN

iss sh'er meiN jooRaa bandnaa meiN baandhana lafzi m'ainoN meN ist'emaal huwaa hai.

ub rahi baat hawaa ke baandhne ki to hawaa to baandha hi naheeN ja saktaa haaN koshish ki jaa sati hai ke jub woh apnaa uRtaa huwaa aanchal theek kartay haiN to aisaa lagtaa hai ke aaNchal meiN hawaa baandhne ki koshish kar rahay haoN.

3. zaraa sochiaye kiss ki ruswai ho gi
agar dar se ham boriyaa baandhtay haiN

boriyaa baandhaa , boriyaa bistar baandhana se hi hai.

4. hay kia 'aashiqi 'ishaq hai kiyaa m'uamma,
ye mazmoon woh kuch judaa bandhtay haiN

shayed urdu bandhan par hi paRhaa tha kaheeN. "khoob kyaal baandha hai" issi se meiN ne "mazmoon baandh" diyaa

leejiaye abhi mazmoon baaNdhanaa ki sanad bhi mil gayee hai. meer anees likhte haiN.

ik phool ka mazmoon ho so rang meiN baandhooN

aor ghalib likhte haiN,

Na bandhe tashnagiye shauq ke mazmon Ghalib!
Garche dil khol ke dariya ko bhi sahil bandha

yaani "mazmoon bandhne" ki tarkeeb meiN radeef ke ist'emaal meiN koi gar bar naheeN haaN agar mafhoom Saaf naheen to issay iss taraH kar laite haiN

hay kia 'aashiqi, Husn hai kyaaa mu'ammaa
ye mazmoon ham kuch judaa baandhtay haiN.

kia kuch baat bani?

5. hameiN dijiaye 'ehdo o peemaan saaray
abhi un pe taar e wafaa bandhtay haiN.

is sh'er meiN baandhana lafzi ma'noN meN ist'emaal kiyaa hai. pehlay miSra meiN eHd o paimaan kijiaye ki bajaaye dijiaye hai. aor ye daina "give" ke ma'enoN meiN hai. muHawara meiN kiaye ki replacement naheeN. ke tum ne jo bhi eHd o paiman (doosroaN se) ki-aye huway haiN meiN un ko poora karne meiN tumharay saath hooN.

6. baRa khoobSoorat takhuyyul hai :khawar:
woh zakhm e jigar par ridaa bandhtay haiN

yahaaN bhi baandhna lafzi ma'inoaN meN ist'emaal huwaa hai. off course zakhm par chaadar naheeN baandhi jaatil laikin chaadar phaaR ka uss ka kuch Hissa hi baandhaa jaataa hai. laikin baaz auqaat ham juzv ke leeaye kul istemaal kartay haiN. jaise kaanoaN meiN ungliaN Daalna, bhalaa ungliaN kab daali jaati haiN? Sirf poraiN Daali jaati haiN.

mazeed rehnumai ka taalib

talib e ilm
MUHAMMAD K. SIDDIQUI

* blue text was added through "EDIT"