Azeezan e bazm
Assalam o alaekum
Is mushaeray kay liay apni koshish aap ki khidemt maiN pesh ker raha huN.
Aap ki duaoN aur nek khwahishat ka mutammani
Sohail Malik
Guzarish 28 Sohail Malik
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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Sohail Malik
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Guzarish 28 Sohail Malik
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wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!bahut khooob!!!lajawaab!!!Sohail sahab aapki GUZ#28 pe likhi gayi is qadar rawaaN dawaaN ma'aane kheiz ghazal dil ko chuu gayi...dili daad pesh hai...har sher umda hai! 
Shukriya,
Shumaila
Shukriya,
Shumaila
Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai
Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
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muhammad_19k
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Re: Guzarish 28 Sohail Malik
Salam Sohail SaHeb,
Moshairaye meiN aap ki ghazal daikh kar bohat khushi hoee. kya hi achchaa hotaa ke agar aap roman meiN bhi likh daite. chaliaye khair iss TaraH guzaaraa karte haiN.
1. "ye jaanaa" ka lafz maazi meiN lay jaa rahaa hai mujh ko. yani aisaa lagtaa thaa ya aisa lagaa. ya maloom huwaa. jub ke sha'er ke mutabiq "aise lagtaa hai" honaa chahiaye.
2. "maHal ka sonaa"? qaabil e ghor hai.
3. ye shair theek hai laikin bohat zydaa impressive naheeN
4. "juRay" ke saath "tanha" match naheeN ho rahaa.
5. ye sh'er pasand aayaa.
6. ye sh'er bhi achchhaa lagaa.
7. achhchhaa sh'er hai. "ghalat" ki agar kissi aor munsib lafz se tabdeel kiyaa jaa saktaa ho to shayed mafhooM kuch zydaa Saaf ho jaa-aye. jaise ke "magar". ji meiN jaantaa hooN ke "magar" se aap ka mafhoom poori TaraH adaa naheeN hotaa laikin ye Sirf aik micaal hai.
8. ye sh'er bhi achhchhaa lagaa.
9. girah ------------- munasib hai.
10. meiN iss sh'er ki gehrai tak na pohanch sakaa.
11. qitt'aa pasand ayaa.
kia mujhe gustaakheeyoaN ki muaafi maaNgne ki zaroorat hai
aap ki shukrguzaar,
MUHAMMAD K. SIDDIQUI.
Moshairaye meiN aap ki ghazal daikh kar bohat khushi hoee. kya hi achchaa hotaa ke agar aap roman meiN bhi likh daite. chaliaye khair iss TaraH guzaaraa karte haiN.
1. "ye jaanaa" ka lafz maazi meiN lay jaa rahaa hai mujh ko. yani aisaa lagtaa thaa ya aisa lagaa. ya maloom huwaa. jub ke sha'er ke mutabiq "aise lagtaa hai" honaa chahiaye.
2. "maHal ka sonaa"? qaabil e ghor hai.
3. ye shair theek hai laikin bohat zydaa impressive naheeN
4. "juRay" ke saath "tanha" match naheeN ho rahaa.
5. ye sh'er pasand aayaa.
6. ye sh'er bhi achchhaa lagaa.
7. achhchhaa sh'er hai. "ghalat" ki agar kissi aor munsib lafz se tabdeel kiyaa jaa saktaa ho to shayed mafhooM kuch zydaa Saaf ho jaa-aye. jaise ke "magar". ji meiN jaantaa hooN ke "magar" se aap ka mafhoom poori TaraH adaa naheeN hotaa laikin ye Sirf aik micaal hai.
8. ye sh'er bhi achhchhaa lagaa.
9. girah ------------- munasib hai.
10. meiN iss sh'er ki gehrai tak na pohanch sakaa.
11. qitt'aa pasand ayaa.
kia mujhe gustaakheeyoaN ki muaafi maaNgne ki zaroorat hai
aap ki shukrguzaar,
MUHAMMAD K. SIDDIQUI.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
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Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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moHtaram Dr.Sohail Malik SaHib aadaab-o-tasleemaat!
Mushae'irah meN aap kee tashreef aawaree bae'ic-e-iftekhaar hai. aap kee is i'nayat ke liye aap ka shukrGuzaar hooN. khuda aap ko salamat rakh~e!
kalam meN nudrat-e-kheyaal ne baRa mutaasar kiya. aap ne iz^haar-e-kheyaal ke liye jadeed peraae ka intekhaab kar ke Ghazal ko neya lab-o-lehjah dene kee nihayat kamyaab koshish kee hai.
kalam ko dekh~ kar yooN lagta hai gaoya aek daftar-e-Harf-o-ma'nee kh~ul geya hai. khubSurat alfaaz^ aor HaseeN tarakeeb se Ghazal ko sajana baRa fan hai. aap kee is Ghazal ko dekh~ kar yeh manna paRta hai keh aap ko is hunar meN khaSee dastaras HaSil hai.
meree janib se mushae'irah meN shumuliyat aor itnee HaseeN Ghazal kee numaae'ish par dil kee gehraiyooN se daad aor mubarak baad Qubool kijiye. aor yooN hee is anjuman ko apnee nigahooN aor tawajjuh ka markaz bana rehne deeijiYe.
mujh~e ummeed hai. keh aap aese mukhliS afraad ke Qalamee ta'awun se maah-e-rawaaN ka yeh mushae'irah bh~ee Guzashtah mushae'irah kee t^arH kamyaabee ka muNh dekh~e ga.
Wassalam
Muz^affar A Muz^affar
Mushae'irah meN aap kee tashreef aawaree bae'ic-e-iftekhaar hai. aap kee is i'nayat ke liye aap ka shukrGuzaar hooN. khuda aap ko salamat rakh~e!
kalam meN nudrat-e-kheyaal ne baRa mutaasar kiya. aap ne iz^haar-e-kheyaal ke liye jadeed peraae ka intekhaab kar ke Ghazal ko neya lab-o-lehjah dene kee nihayat kamyaab koshish kee hai.
kalam ko dekh~ kar yooN lagta hai gaoya aek daftar-e-Harf-o-ma'nee kh~ul geya hai. khubSurat alfaaz^ aor HaseeN tarakeeb se Ghazal ko sajana baRa fan hai. aap kee is Ghazal ko dekh~ kar yeh manna paRta hai keh aap ko is hunar meN khaSee dastaras HaSil hai.
meree janib se mushae'irah meN shumuliyat aor itnee HaseeN Ghazal kee numaae'ish par dil kee gehraiyooN se daad aor mubarak baad Qubool kijiye. aor yooN hee is anjuman ko apnee nigahooN aor tawajjuh ka markaz bana rehne deeijiYe.
mujh~e ummeed hai. keh aap aese mukhliS afraad ke Qalamee ta'awun se maah-e-rawaaN ka yeh mushae'irah bh~ee Guzashtah mushae'irah kee t^arH kamyaabee ka muNh dekh~e ga.
Wassalam
Muz^affar A Muz^affar
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Sohail Malik
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Shumu ji Itni lambi wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ka litna lamba shukrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ada keruN.Shummu wrote:wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!bahut khooob!!!lajawaab!!!Sohail sahab aapki GUZ#28 pe likhi gayi is qadar rawaaN dawaaN ma'aane kheiz ghazal dil ko chuu gayi...dili daad pesh hai...har sher umda hai!
Shukriya,
Shumaila
mazaq ber teraf aap ki purkhalus dad o tehseen per maiN teh e dil say mamnun huN.
wassalam
Sohail Malik
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Sohail Malik
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Re: Guzarish 28 Sohail Malik
Khawer SaaHeb Assalam 0 alaekum!
aap ki janib say is hosla afzai aur mehnat ka maiN teh e dil say mamnoon huN. Aap ki tamam aara hamaisha giraN qadr hoti haiN jaisa keh is mertaba bhi haiN.
---------------------------------
1. "ye jaanaa" ka lafz maazi meiN lay jaa rahaa hai mujh ko. yani aisaa lagtaa thaa ya aisa lagaa. ya maloom huwaa. jub ke sha'er ke mutabiq "aise lagtaa hai" honaa chahiaye.
meray khayal maiN aap theek ferma rehay haiN
ager sher yuN ker dia jaey to kia khayal hay
saraaboN kay peechay chalay ja rehay haiN
kahaN woh hamaray qareeb aa rehay haiN
---------------------------
2. "maHal ka sonaa"? qaabil e ghor hai.
ager is ko yuN kehaiN keh
teh e khaak kitnay mehel ja chukay haiN to kia behter lagay ga?
------------------------------------
3. ye shair theek hai laikin bohat zydaa impressive naheeN
ok
-------------------------
4. "juRay" ke saath "tanha" match naheeN ho rahaa.
mafhoom kay lihaz say yeh sher tasawwaf kay aik nuktay ko Theek say bayan ker raha hay. kia aap maani per aiteraz ker rahay haiN ya souti tacut Theek nahiN lag raha?
-------------------------------
5. ye sh'er pasand aayaa.
6. ye sh'er bhi achchhaa lagaa.
shukria
----------------------------------------
7. achhchhaa sh'er hai. "ghalat" ki agar kissi aor munsib lafz se tabdeel kiyaa jaa saktaa ho to shayed mafhooM kuch zydaa Saaf ho jaa-aye. jaise ke "magar". ji meiN jaantaa hooN ke "magar" se aap ka mafhoom poori TaraH adaa naheeN hotaa laikin ye Sirf aik micaal hai.
Waisay ager maiN bhi koi muzaiqa nahiN hay.
---------------------------
8. ye sh'er bhi achhchhaa lagaa.
9. girah ------------- munasib hai.
shukria
-----------------------------------------
10. meiN iss sh'er ki gehrai tak na pohanch sakaa.
qitta kay ashaar aaj kal kay takhreeb kari kay mozu per haiN. Is sher maiN yeh kehna maqsud hay keh in halaat maiN jab gird o nawah maiN dhamakay gunj rehay haiN to is baat ki mohlet nahiN hay keh apni tafreeh e taba kay liay kanoN ko kissi teranum say behlaeN.
11. qitt'aa pasand ayaa.
shukria
kia mujhe gustaakheeyoaN ki muaafi maaNgne ki zaroorat hai
bilkul bhi nahiN balkeh aap kay is amli taawun ki mujhay hamaisha zarurat aur qader rehay gi.
Wassalam
Sohail Malik
aap ki janib say is hosla afzai aur mehnat ka maiN teh e dil say mamnoon huN. Aap ki tamam aara hamaisha giraN qadr hoti haiN jaisa keh is mertaba bhi haiN.
---------------------------------
1. "ye jaanaa" ka lafz maazi meiN lay jaa rahaa hai mujh ko. yani aisaa lagtaa thaa ya aisa lagaa. ya maloom huwaa. jub ke sha'er ke mutabiq "aise lagtaa hai" honaa chahiaye.
meray khayal maiN aap theek ferma rehay haiN
ager sher yuN ker dia jaey to kia khayal hay
saraaboN kay peechay chalay ja rehay haiN
kahaN woh hamaray qareeb aa rehay haiN
---------------------------
2. "maHal ka sonaa"? qaabil e ghor hai.
ager is ko yuN kehaiN keh
teh e khaak kitnay mehel ja chukay haiN to kia behter lagay ga?
------------------------------------
3. ye shair theek hai laikin bohat zydaa impressive naheeN
ok
-------------------------
4. "juRay" ke saath "tanha" match naheeN ho rahaa.
mafhoom kay lihaz say yeh sher tasawwaf kay aik nuktay ko Theek say bayan ker raha hay. kia aap maani per aiteraz ker rahay haiN ya souti tacut Theek nahiN lag raha?
-------------------------------
5. ye sh'er pasand aayaa.
6. ye sh'er bhi achchhaa lagaa.
shukria
----------------------------------------
7. achhchhaa sh'er hai. "ghalat" ki agar kissi aor munsib lafz se tabdeel kiyaa jaa saktaa ho to shayed mafhooM kuch zydaa Saaf ho jaa-aye. jaise ke "magar". ji meiN jaantaa hooN ke "magar" se aap ka mafhoom poori TaraH adaa naheeN hotaa laikin ye Sirf aik micaal hai.
Waisay ager maiN bhi koi muzaiqa nahiN hay.
---------------------------
8. ye sh'er bhi achhchhaa lagaa.
9. girah ------------- munasib hai.
shukria
-----------------------------------------
10. meiN iss sh'er ki gehrai tak na pohanch sakaa.
qitta kay ashaar aaj kal kay takhreeb kari kay mozu per haiN. Is sher maiN yeh kehna maqsud hay keh in halaat maiN jab gird o nawah maiN dhamakay gunj rehay haiN to is baat ki mohlet nahiN hay keh apni tafreeh e taba kay liay kanoN ko kissi teranum say behlaeN.
11. qitt'aa pasand ayaa.
shukria
kia mujhe gustaakheeyoaN ki muaafi maaNgne ki zaroorat hai
bilkul bhi nahiN balkeh aap kay is amli taawun ki mujhay hamaisha zarurat aur qader rehay gi.
Wassalam
Sohail Malik
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Sohail Malik
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- Posts: 124
- Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 11:51 am
Mohterem Muzaffar SaahebMuzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar wrote:moHtaram Dr.Sohail Malik SaHib aadaab-o-tasleemaat!
Mushae'irah meN aap kee tashreef aawaree bae'ic-e-iftekhaar hai. aap kee is i'nayat ke liye aap ka shukrGuzaar hooN. khuda aap ko salamat rakh~e!
kalam meN nudrat-e-kheyaal ne baRa mutaasar kiya. aap ne iz^haar-e-kheyaal ke liye jadeed peraae ka intekhaab kar ke Ghazal ko neya lab-o-lehjah dene kee nihayat kamyaab koshish kee hai.
kalam ko dekh~ kar yooN lagta hai gaoya aek daftar-e-Harf-o-ma'nee kh~ul geya hai. khubSurat alfaaz^ aor HaseeN tarakeeb se Ghazal ko sajana baRa fan hai. aap kee is Ghazal ko dekh~ kar yeh manna paRta hai keh aap ko is hunar meN khaSee dastaras HaSil hai.
meree janib se mushae'irah meN shumuliyat aor itnee HaseeN Ghazal kee numaae'ish par dil kee gehraiyooN se daad aor mubarak baad Qubool kijiye. aor yooN hee is anjuman ko apnee nigahooN aor tawajjuh ka markaz bana rehne deeijiYe.
mujh~e ummeed hai. keh aap aese mukhliS afraad ke Qalamee ta'awun se maah-e-rawaaN ka yeh mushae'irah bh~ee Guzashtah mushae'irah kee t^arH kamyaabee ka muNh dekh~e ga.
Wassalam
Muz^affar A Muz^affar
Aap nay jis khalus say yeh mehfil sajai aur phir pazerai ki us per maiN aap ka had derja mamnoon huN. Yeh bazm allah keray yunhi balkeh is say beRh ker saji rehay aur insha Allah hum bhi aatay rehaiN gay.
wassalam
Sohail Malik
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Sohail Malik
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muhammad_19k
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Re: Guzarish 28 Sohail Malik
Doctor SaHeb,
aap ne likhaa
mairi baRi khahish ke yahaaN par mojood dostoaN se kuch seekh paa-oaN. saaraa din office meiN hotaa hooN aor shaam meiN ghar ki zimma daariyaaN mujhe ijaazat naheeN daiti ke baahir jaa kar kuch adbi maHafil meiN baithooN. bus ye do teen web sites hi haiN jahaaN se mujhe seekhna hai. iss leeaye jo koi bhi sawaal hotaa hai ye jis cheez ko jaisa samajhtaa hooN Sirf iss leeaye bay jhijak likh daitaa hooN ke koi na koi mehrbaan taSHeeH kar day ga. aap ka shukrguzaar hooN ke aap hamesha shafqat farmateiN haiN.
aik mashwaraa dobaraa, jhat se apni post ko edit kar ke uss meiN "ROMAN TEXT" bhi add kar dijiaye. baaqi dostoaN ke tabSiraa karne meiN sahoolat ho gi.
aap ne jo khyaal baandhaa hai woh mujhe bilkul saaf samajh aa rahaa hai aor koi abhaam naheeN hai. meiN ne alfaaz ke istemaal ki haciat se baat ki thi. ham tanhaa ke saath saath, bheeR, aor juRay ke saath alag, aliahdaa jaise alfaazoaN se zydaa maanoos haiN.
-----------------------------------------
miraa ishaar is sher ki taraf thaa.
rahaa aik matti ka maadhoo miraa dil
issay log kahay ko behkaa rahay haiN.
aap ka bohat bohat shukrguzaar,
MUHAMMAD K. SIDDIQUI.
aap ne likhaa
Wa-aliakum us salam.Sohail Malik wrote:Khawer SaaHeb Assalam 0 alaekum!
aap ki janib say is hosla afzai aur mehnat ka maiN teh e dil say mamnoon huN. Aap ki tamam aara hamaisha giraN qadr hoti haiN jaisa keh is mertaba bhi haiN.
mairi baRi khahish ke yahaaN par mojood dostoaN se kuch seekh paa-oaN. saaraa din office meiN hotaa hooN aor shaam meiN ghar ki zimma daariyaaN mujhe ijaazat naheeN daiti ke baahir jaa kar kuch adbi maHafil meiN baithooN. bus ye do teen web sites hi haiN jahaaN se mujhe seekhna hai. iss leeaye jo koi bhi sawaal hotaa hai ye jis cheez ko jaisa samajhtaa hooN Sirf iss leeaye bay jhijak likh daitaa hooN ke koi na koi mehrbaan taSHeeH kar day ga. aap ka shukrguzaar hooN ke aap hamesha shafqat farmateiN haiN.
aik mashwaraa dobaraa, jhat se apni post ko edit kar ke uss meiN "ROMAN TEXT" bhi add kar dijiaye. baaqi dostoaN ke tabSiraa karne meiN sahoolat ho gi.
mairi samajh meiN ye yaqeenun pehlay walay option se zydaa behtar hai.---------------------------------
1. "ye jaanaa" ka lafz maazi meiN lay jaa rahaa hai mujh ko. yani aisaa lagtaa thaa ya aisa lagaa. ya maloom huwaa. jub ke sha'er ke mutabiq "aise lagtaa hai" honaa chahiaye.
meray khayal maiN aap theek ferma rehay haiN
ager sher yuN ker dia jaey to kia khayal hay
saraaboN kay peechay chalay ja rehay haiN
kahaN woh hamaray qareeb aa rehay haiN
---------------------------
behtareen.2. "maHal ka sonaa"? qaabil e ghor hai.
ager is ko yuN kehaiN keh
teh e khaak kitnay mehel ja chukay haiN to kia behter lagay ga?
------------------------------------
3. ye shair theek hai laikin bohat zydaa impressive naheeN
ok
-------------------------
4. "juRay" ke saath "tanha" match naheeN ho rahaa.
mafhoom kay lihaz say yeh sher tasawwaf kay aik nuktay ko Theek say bayan ker raha hay. kia aap maani per aiteraz ker rahay haiN ya souti tacut Theek nahiN lag raha?
-------------------------------
aap ne jo khyaal baandhaa hai woh mujhe bilkul saaf samajh aa rahaa hai aor koi abhaam naheeN hai. meiN ne alfaaz ke istemaal ki haciat se baat ki thi. ham tanhaa ke saath saath, bheeR, aor juRay ke saath alag, aliahdaa jaise alfaazoaN se zydaa maanoos haiN.
-----------------------------------------
10. meiN iss sh'er ki gehrai tak na pohanch sakaa.
qitta kay ashaar aaj kal kay takhreeb kari kay mozu per haiN. Is sher maiN yeh kehna maqsud hay keh in halaat maiN jab gird o nawah maiN dhamakay gunj rehay haiN to is baat ki mohlet nahiN hay keh apni tafreeh e taba kay liay kanoN ko kissi teranum say behlaeN.
miraa ishaar is sher ki taraf thaa.
rahaa aik matti ka maadhoo miraa dil
issay log kahay ko behkaa rahay haiN.
aap ka bohat bohat shukrguzaar,
MUHAMMAD K. SIDDIQUI.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
-
haamidbaaqri
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Re: Guzarish 28 Sohail Malik
mohtaram suhail saahibSohail Malik wrote:Azeezan e bazm
Assalam o alaekum
Is mushaeray kay liay apni koshish aap ki khidemt maiN pesh ker raha huN.
Aap ki duaoN aur nek khwahishat ka mutammani
Sohail Malik
Assalaam o alaikum
masha allah
bahut acchee ghazal kahi hai aapnay.
hamaari dilee daad qubool farmaayeN
allah(sbhnwt)kare zore qalam aur ziyaadah
mukhlis
haamidbaaqri
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
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jawaid badauni
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Sohail Malik
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Re: Guzarish 28 Sohail Malik
Khawer Saaheb aadab!muhammad_19k wrote:
miraa ishaar is sher ki taraf thaa.
rahaa aik matti ka maadhoo miraa dil
issay log kahay ko behkaa rahay haiN.
aap ka bohat bohat shukrguzaar,
MUHAMMAD K. SIDDIQUI.
maazeret keh jald jawab nah dey saka. derasel in dinoN masrufiat bohat ziada hay aur phir bachoN kay salana imtehaan bhi apna imtehaan ben ker aa gaye haiN.
aap jis sher ka puch rehay haiN us maiN mahawera
maTTi ka madhu = sadah loh
yeni apni saada lohi ka ziker hay keh mera dil to saada loh sa hay log is ko behka ker ghalat simet maiN moRnay ki koshish kiuN ker rehay haiN.
baaqi ashaar bhi jin kay baaray maiN aap say pehlay guftagu ho chuki hay unhaiN bhi aaj kaafi dinoN kay baad moqa milnay per tabdell ker dia hay.
wassalam
aap kay mukhlisana mashweroN ka qaderdaan
Sohail Malik
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Sohail Malik
- -
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- Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 11:51 am
Re: Guzarish 28 Sohail Malik
Mohterem Haamid Saahebhaamidbaaqri wrote: mohtaram suhail saahib
Assalaam o alaikum
masha allah
bahut acchee ghazal kahi hai aapnay.
hamaari dilee daad qubool farmaayeN
allah(sbhnwt)kare zore qalam aur ziyaadah
mukhlis
haamidbaaqri
maazeret keh jawab maiN takheer hui
aap ki pasandeedgi ka teh e dil say mamnoon huN
wassalam
Sohail Malik