Meri taza tareen tarahee Ghazal ..................
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
-
jawaid badauni
- -
- Posts: 810
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
- Contact:
Meri taza tareen tarahee Ghazal ..................
har lamHaa.e Hayaat hai ik lamHa intezaar ka
hum ko mila hai yeh Sila wadoN pe e’tbaar ka
KhaaroN se Azm ho gaya moHkum junooN shiAAr ka
Shauq.e safar baRha gaya har moR raihguzaar ka
mayoosioN ke bAAd bhi baRhtee gayee haiN HasrateN
jaise kabhi nah Khatm ho ik silsila qiTaar ka
maiN kal bhi Khaali haath tha maiN ab bhi Khaali haath hooN
kaise yaqeen ho mujhe mausam hai yeh bahaar ka
sir se kafan ko baaNdhker aaye haiN huq ki raah per
ab kya hameN rasan ka Dar ab kya ho Khauf daar ka
tum tou miree wafaaooN ko sikkoN meN tolne lage
jaise ke mera pyaar bhee sauda ho karobaar ka
khetoN ko apne choRker aaya kisaan shahr meN
dekha hai Khuaab usne bhee daulat.e beshumaar ka
:Jawaid: hum jiye sadaa saye meN paarsaayee ke
Kuch Dar tha roz.e Hashr ka kuch qabr ke fishaar ka
Aapki aara ka muntazir rahooNga.
MuKhliS
Jawaid
wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bahut umda ghazal se nawaaza hai aapne Jawaid sahab...beech mein aap bahut aamiyaana ghazleiN likhne lage the magar is ghazal se aap wapis form mein aa gaye hain..beintehaa khoobsurat ghazal kahi hai aapne...bahut pasand aayi..har sher qaabil-e-taareef..daad aur mubarakbaad pesh hai..qubool farmaayein..shukriya! 
Shumaila
Shumaila
Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai
Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
-
Sarwar A. Raz
- -
- Posts: 518
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
- Contact:
Re: Meri taza tareen tarahee Ghazal ..................
biraadar-e-muHtaram Jawaid SaaHeb: aadaab!jawaid badauni wrote:
har lamHaa.e Hayaat hai ik lamHa intezaar ka
hum ko mila hai yeh Sila wadoN pe e’tbaar ka
KhaaroN se Azm ho gaya moHkum junooN shiAAr ka
Shauq.e safar baRha gaya har moR raihguzaar ka
mayoosioN ke bAAd bhi baRhtee gayee haiN HasrateN
jaise kabhi nah Khatm ho ik silsila qiTaar ka
maiN kal bhi Khaali haath tha maiN ab bhi Khaali haath hooN
kaise yaqeen ho mujhe mausam hai yeh bahaar ka
sir se kafan ko baaNdhker aaye haiN huq ki raah per
ab kya hameN rasan ka Dar ab kya ho Khauf daar ka
tum tou miree wafaaooN ko sikkoN meN tolne lage
jaise ke mera pyaar bhee sauda ho karobaar ka
khetoN ko apne choRker aaya kisaan shahr meN
dekha hai Khuaab usne bhee daulat.e beshumaar ka
:Jawaid: hum jiye sadaa saye meN paarsaayee ke
Kuch Dar tha roz.e Hashr ka kuch qabr ke fishaar ka
Aapki aara ka muntazir rahooNga.
MuKhliS
Jawaid
aap kee Ghazal dekhee. daad qubool keejiYe!
Ghazal aap ke maKhSooS raNg meN hai aur achhee hai. maiN ne akcar aap se a'rZ^ kiyaa hai keh agar aap kuchh meHnat aur waqt se Ghazal kaheN to aap kee fit^ree shaa,i'raanah SalaaHiyat aap ko kaheeN se kaheeN poNhchaa saktee hai. shaayad aap kee go-naagooN maSroofiyaat is meN Haa,il haiN. phir bhee is baare meN sochiYe Z^aroor!
:qit^aar: aur :kisaan: waale ash,a'ar mujh ko bohat achhe naheeN lage. shaayad yeh shaKhSee pasand aur tarjeeHaat kee baat hai.
maiN aap kee is Ghazal ke baare meN kuchh maKhmaSeh meN hooN. ummeed hai keh aap meree Khalish door kar deN ge.
Ghazal UrduAnjuman ke mushaa,i'reh #2 ke liYe kahee gayee hai. t^araH ke miSre' kee beHr yooN hai:
par-bhee-qa-fas; se-jo-gi-raa; bul-bul-e-be; qa-raa-r-kaa
muf-ta-i'-lun; mu-faa-i'-lun; muf-ta-i'-lun; mu-faa-i'-lun
kyaa aap kee Ghazal kaa har she'r is wazn meN hai? zeHmat to ho gee lekin agar aap jawaab se nawaazeN ge to mehrbaanee ho gee. micaal ke t^aur par mujh ko is miSre' meN taraddud hai:
maiN kal bhi Khaali haath tha maiN ab bhi Khaali haath hooN
maiN-kal-bhee-Khaa; lee-haa-th-thaa; maiN-ab-bhee-Khaa;lee-haath-hooN
mu-faa-i'-lun; mu-faa-i'-lun; mu-faa-i'-lun; mu-faa-i'-lun
maiN a'rooZ^ kaa maahir hargiz naheeN hooN bal.k ek t^aalib-e-i'lm hooN. is liYe maiN Ghalat^ bhee ho saktaa hooN. aap ke jawaab kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. agar aap taqt^ee' nah bhee kareN to bhee t^araH aur aap kee Ghazal ke aahaNg meN numaayaaN farq naz^ar aataa hai. yaa yeh meree naz^ar kaa quSoor hai?
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Last edited by Sarwar A. Raz on Thu May 24, 2007 3:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Re: Meri taza tareen tarahee Ghazal ..................
bohat alaa, bohat khoob!jawaid badauni wrote:
har lamHaa.e Hayaat hai ik lamHa intezaar ka
hum ko mila hai yeh Sila wadoN pe e’tbaar ka
KhaaroN se Azm ho gaya moHkum junooN shiAAr ka
Shauq.e safar baRha gaya har moR raihguzaar ka
mayoosioN ke bAAd bhi baRhtee gayee haiN HasrateN
jaise kabhi nah Khatm ho ik silsila qiTaar ka
maiN kal bhi Khaali haath tha maiN ab bhi Khaali haath hooN
kaise yaqeen ho mujhe mausam hai yeh bahaar ka
sir se kafan ko baaNdhker aaye haiN huq ki raah per
ab kya hameN rasan ka Dar ab kya ho Khauf daar ka
tum tou miree wafaaooN ko sikkoN meN tolne lage
jaise ke mera pyaar bhee sauda ho karobaar ka
khetoN ko apne choRker aaya kisaan shahr meN
dekha hai Khuaab usne bhee daulat.e beshumaar ka
:Jawaid: hum jiye sadaa saye meN paarsaayee ke
Kuch Dar tha roz.e Hashr ka kuch qabr ke fishaar ka
Aapki aara ka muntazir rahooNga.
MuKhliS
Jawaid
ghar humesha tire aaine ka abaad rahe
jis mein jalta hai charagh^e rukh^e roshan teraa
dil ki siyahiyon mein tujhe dhoondta hua
palkon pe aa ruka hai sitaaron ka qaafila
palkon pe aa ruka hai sitaaron ka qaafila
-
jawaid badauni
- -
- Posts: 810
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
- Contact:
Shummu SaaHibahShummu wrote:wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bahut umda ghazal se nawaaza hai aapne Jawaid sahab...beech mein aap bahut aamiyaana ghazleiN likhne lage the magar is ghazal se aap wapis form mein aa gaye hain..beintehaa khoobsurat ghazal kahi hai aapne...bahut pasand aayi..har sher qaabil-e-taareef..daad aur mubarakbaad pesh hai..qubool farmaayein..shukriya!
Shumaila
Aap ki purKhuloos daad ke liye aap ka behud mamnoon hooN.
Ummid hai in mahafil meN aap se mulaaqaat hoti rahegee.
MuKhliS
Jawaid