shahsawari ke khar sawaari hai -Aik Taaza Ghazal

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar

Post Reply
User avatar
Mahtab Qadr
-
-
Posts: 559
Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:36 am
Location: Jeddah Saudi Arabia
Contact:

shahsawari ke khar sawaari hai -Aik Taaza Ghazal

Post by Mahtab Qadr »

shahsawari ke khar sawaari hai -Aik Taaza Ghazal
Attachments
mahtabqadr.gif
mahtabqadr.gif (19.02 KiB) Viewed 682 times
Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
-
-
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:40 pm
Location: London, England
Contact:

Post by Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar »

moHtaram Mehtab Qadar SaHib aadaab!

Halat-e-HaZ^irah ke a'en mut^abiq aap ke yeh purdard asha'aar dekhe.
baRee u'mdah aor barwaqt koshish hai.

aap ne baRee maharat se waqe'aat kaa naqshah khenchte huwe arbaab-e-iqtedaar ko apnee be hisee aor be jaa aGhyaar kee t^araf daree karne kaa nateejah jo anqareeb woh khud hee mushaeidah kar leeN ge. baRee khubSurat andaaz meN manz^oom shakl meN pesh kar diya hai.

is kamyaab koshish par meree dilee dad aor mubarak baad qubool keejiye!

Wassalam
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
User avatar
Mahtab Qadr
-
-
Posts: 559
Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:36 am
Location: Jeddah Saudi Arabia
Contact:

Re: shahsawari ke khar sawaari hai -Aik Taaza Ghazal

Post by Mahtab Qadr »

Mohatrama Sara sahiba

Salaam e masnoon

daad ka shukria,
jab sher daad ke qabil haiN to phir ye bedaad kioN..aapke tassuraat aapke zahn ki paidawar nahi lagte, baharhaal aapne kaha hai to jawaban arz ye hai ke, sara ji aap to khud achi khasi shayera haiN aap kia nahi samajhte ke shayer jis muashire mai sans leta hai jin logoN mai uth ta baith ta hai, ya muashirati taur par jin halaat ka asar qubool karta hai chahe vo muqaami hoN ya mulki aur aalami unke asraat qubool karta hai aur wahi awamil uski shayeri mai aashkar hote haiN. ye to rahi jawaz ki baat aur deegar arz ye hai ke aap ne kaise samajh lia ke ye ashaar ksi ki tauheen ka sabab bante haiN aur agar unke dil ko lagte haiN jin ke lye kahe gaye to is mai burai kia hai, kia sach baat kahna durust nahi?

vo baat saare fasaane mai jiska zikr nahi
vo baat unko bahut nagaawar guzri hai

taajjub hai , khair aap ne Mirza Ghalib ka aik khoobsurat sher quote kia hai bahut achcha laga , shukria

aap phir aap haiN mai aap ko kia kah sakta hoN magar itna zaroor arz karta chaloN ke barah e karam agar aap ko bandhan par mera ashshaar pesh karna munasib na laga to ainda mai iska khyal rakhoNga. aur aap ne kaha ke giraN qadr na guzre gi, aray aap ki har baat mere lye giraN qadr hi hai, laikin giraN nahi.

aap ne aik aur achcha sher quote kia aur ham bhi yahi kahte haiN mohatrama magar masala samajh ki pher ka hai,

"dekh zindaan ke pare, rang-e-chaman josh-e-bahaar,
raqs karnaa hai to phir paon ki zanjeer na dekh"



dil jale kisi bhi kaam se peeche nahi haT-te mujhe khabar nahi ke aap kis dil jale ki numaindagi kar rahi haiN. aur kioN mujhe dhamki amez lahje mai mukhatib kar rahi haiN...hameiN iski koi parwah nahi hai .... kioN ke ham bhi raqs karte huve pooN ki zanjeer nahi dekhte.. agar aap kuch kahna chahti haiN to khul kar kahiye mai aapki batoN ko poore ekhlas se sunoNga aur koshish karoNga ke aap ka zahn saaf ho sake.

Allah aapko khush o khurram rakhe aur saht o salamti ata farmaaye

Mahtab
sara_j wrote:
Mahtab Qadr wrote:shahsawari ke khar sawaari hai -Aik Taaza Ghazal
Mohtaram Mahtab sahib,

tasliimaat.

aapka taza kalaam nazar nawaaz houa.ashaar ache hain aur daad ke qabil :rose .

kuch ta'assuraat darj~e~zail haiN.

har shair jacha tula zaroor hai laikin yeh samajhne se qaasir hoon ke aap ke
khayaal ka maqsad gila shikwa hai ya kisi ki tauheen maqsood hai aur uski
wajah kiyaa hai?

aapke har sheAr ke khayaal mein jo baat hai aur andaaz~e~guftagu
se chacha Ghalib ka yeH sheAr yaad agaya

"har ek baat pe kahte ho tum ki tu kya hai
tumhi kaho ki ye andaaz-e-guftagu kya hai"

kaheen aisa na hou ke aapka andaz-e-sukhan ache khaase diloN
ko na jala daale aur dil jale kisi bhi kaam se peeche nahi haT-te

"paRa falak ko abhi dil jalo'n say kaam nahi
jala k raakh na kardun tou :Daagh: naam nahi"

mukhtasaran arz ye karna chaahungi ke doosron ke iflaas 'fikr' kou door
karne ke liye pehle khud humko apne dil aur zehan ke jamood se bahar
nikalna chaahiye, jou apne zehan ko apne khayalaat kou is zanjeer se
azaad kar sakta hai voh dekh sakta hai ke is duniya ki azl se abd tak kii raahdaari kis qadr khoobsurat hai

"dekh zindaan ke pare, rang-e-chaman josh-e-bahaar,
raqs karnaa hai to phir paon ki zanjeer na dekh"

umeed ke mairi koi baat aap per giraaN qadr na guzri hou.

mukhlis

sara
User avatar
muhammad_19k
-
-
Posts: 540
Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:36 am
Location: Lahore
Contact:

Post by muhammad_19k »

Janab Mehtaab qadr SaHeb,

aap ke ash'aar ka leHja bohat bhaari kam oar "chalenging" lagaa. :-). wajaa ye hai ke aap ne kissi aik ko mukhaatib naheN kyaa jaise ke iss taraH ke ashaar meN 'umoomun hotaa hai. kissi shaair ne musalamanoN ke mukhtaabi kyaa hai to kissi ne no jawaanoaN ko, kissi ne molvi ko ye chalenge diyaa hai to kissi ne hukmran ko. laikin aap ne apne siwaa sub ko hi ragRaa lagaa diyaa hai ;). mairaa zaati khyaaal hai ke agar kuch saadaa ashaar ka izaafa kyaa ja-aye ya mukhatib ko :nominate kar diyaa jaa-aye to majmoo'ii taa,accur bohat behtar ho saktaa hai.

do aik alfaaz bhi qaabil e ghor haiN agar waqt milay to in ke baaray meN bhi irshaad farmaa di jiaye ga.

1. must'aari?-------------- kya ye lafz theek hai?
2. moqaaf?---------------- saHeeH lafz to mu,aqqaf hay. jo fa'oolun ke wazn par hai. ka mooqaf yani fa'lun ke wazn par is ka istemaal theek hai?


aik achchi koshish par daad qabool kijiaye.

khair andesh.
MUHAMMAD K. SIDDIQUI.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273

938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
Sohail Malik
-
-
Posts: 124
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2007 11:51 am

Post by Sohail Malik »

Mehtab Qadr Saaheb

aap ka kalam peRh ker bohat khushi hui

aap ka zehn un mozuaat ki teraf maael hay jinhaiN aaj kal kay shoara amumen nazer andaaz kiay baiThay haiN.

asal lafz 'moqif' hay so khawer saaheb ka eteraz to refa ho jaata hay.

tamaam ashaar bohat umday aur bamaqsed haiN.

aisay hi achay ashaar say aendah bhi mustafeed kertay rehihay.

wassalam

Sohail Malik
Post Reply