guz # 29 meri adna kaawish

Tarhi Moshaairah -ShoAaraa aur Shayeraat kii TabAaazmayi ke liye

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zmufti
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guz # 29 meri adna kaawish

Post by zmufti »

Sadr-e-Mushaira
ahl-e-bazm
aadaab
apni adna si kaawish mushaire meN pesh kar rahi hooN
aap sab ki aaraa ka intzaar rahe ga
regards
zmufti

1. chukka diye youN hi sab qarz-e-dostaaN maiN ne
Paraii aag meN jhooka yeh aashiyaaN maiN ne

2. Khasare ka kiyya sauda, ganwaaye jaan-o-dil
Kamaaye dard hi, paayii khushi kahaN maiN ne

3. dabaii dil meN hi talkhi, bhali buri sun kar
laboN pe phir bhee Tabassum rakha ayaN maiN ne

4. tirre khaloos ke qisse sunaaye sab ko hi
bharam rakha tirra youN hi kahaN kahaN maiN ne

5. falak ko dosh de dala, tirre sitam ka bhee
Kiyya hai aap hi dushman yeh aasmaaN main ne

6. Hamare beech Yahi dooriaaN munacib heN
yeh marzi hai tirri jis ko, kiyya bayaN maiN ne

7. bichii hai dard ki chaadar, bichona gham ka hai
Chunne heN yaas ke patthar, kiyya makaN maiN ne

8. thakkan se choor thee maiN rooh muntashir sii thee
So de di jaan, kiyya paar imtahaaN maiN ne
Last edited by zmufti on Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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Post by Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar »

moHtarmah Zarqa Mufti behen SaaHibah aadaab a'rZ^ hai!

Aap kee har dil pasand Ghazal sharmindah-e-ishaae'at ho chukee hai. aap ne she'er-o-miSra' kee khushbu se saare mushae'rah ko moa'at^t^ir kar diyaa hai.

jigar ke dard-o-ranj ko duniyaa se Dhakaa rakhne aor Aalaam-e-ruZgaar ko aasaan banane kee koshish meN apne meHboob se shikwah kaa khubSurat andaaZ aap kaa makhSooS rang-e-GhaZal hai. jo baRaa dil khush kun hai. aap kaa shumaar un SaaHibaan-e-ZaoQ-o-fikr meN hotaa hai. jinhooN ne Judaaee kaa gehraa Zakhm khaayaa hai. aor yahee wajah hai keh aap ke rashHaat-e-Qalam meN dard, saoZ, aor shikayat ka eHsaas puree aap-o-taab se umaD aayaa hai.

aap ke haaN shikwah-o-shikayat meHeZ^ talkhee-e-Zamanh hee kee den naheeN balkeh samaajee istibdaad-o-be aa'tedaalee aor khuSuSa" meHboob ke firaaQ kaa dard bhee aap ko khoon ke aaNsu rulaataa hai. aor aap kaa dil-e-GudaaZ insaani majbooriyooN aor bebasiyooN par dard se bhar aataa hai.


1. chukka diye youN hi sab qarz-e-dostaaN maiN ne
Paraii aag meN jhooka yeh aashiyaaN maiN ne

Kiyaa kehne Waah Waah, bohot khubSurat mat^la' hai. miSra'-e-ulaa to Qayamat se kam naheeN! mumkin hai pehle miSra' kee yeh Surat aap ko pasand aae. "chukaa diye haiN sabhee QarZ^-e-dostaaN maiN ne"

2. Khasare ka kiyya sauda, ganwaaye jaan-o-dil
Kamaaye dard hi, paayii khushi kahaN maiN ne

Waah! dusre miSra' ko yooN bhee keh sakte haiN. "kamaa ke dard luTaa dee khushee kahaaN maiN ne"

3. dabaii dil meN hi talkhi, bhali buri sun kar
laboN pe phir bhee Tabassum rakha ayaN maiN ne

Waah, Waah!

4. tirre khaloos ke qisse sunaaye sab ko hi
bharam rakha tirra youN hi kahaN kahaN maiN ne

Waah, Waah!

5. falak ko dosh de dala, tirre sitam ka bhee
Kiyya hai aap hi dushman yeh aasmaaN main ne

Waah, Kiyaa kehne!

6. Hamare beech Yahi dooriaaN munacib heN
yeh marzi hai tirri jis ko, kiyya bayaN maiN ne

Waah, maZmoon Bohot khub hai. dusre miSra' ko aap yooN bhee keh sakteeN haiN.
"yeh teree marZ^ee hai jis ko kiyaa bayaaN maiN ne"

7. bichii hai dard ki chaadar, bichona gham ka hai
Chunne heN yaas ke patthar, kiyya makaN maiN ne

Waah, Waah, Kiyaa kehne! dusra miSra' yooN bhee kahaa jaa saktaa hai. "banayaa yaas ke patthar se ik makaaN maiN ne"

8. thakkan se choor thee maiN rooh muntashir thee
So de di jaan, kiyya paar imtahaaN maiN ne

Waah, Waah, khaeyaal achchaa hai lekin pehlaa miSra' be beHer ho geyaa hai. aor dusre miSra' ko yooN kehnaa bhee durust hai. aek yeh Surat mulaHiZ^ah farmaaiye,

"thakan se choor rahee maiN bhee rooH bhee meree
So jaan de ke kiyaa paar imtiHaaN maiN ne"

:paar: bama'maa Guzarnaa dilkash hai.

Is khubSurat Ghazal par meree dilee daad aor mubarak baad Qubool keejiye.
khush raheeN!

wassalam
Muz^affar
Last edited by Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar on Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
zmufti
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Post by zmufti »

Muzaffar bhai
ghazal per tabsare ke liye aap ki mamnooN hooN
aap ne jo mashware diyye heN akcar achche heN
in per ghaur karti hooN
regards
zmufti
zmufti
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Post by zmufti »

sara_j wrote:Zarqa ji,

bohat umda ghazal hai. sabhi ashaar pasand aaye.

daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye

sara

shukria Sara jee
khush rahiye
zmufti
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muhammad_19k
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Post by muhammad_19k »

Salam Zarqa Ji,

aap ki mutaacir kun ghazal nazar se guzri to khud ko do bataiN likhne se na rok sakaa.

1. chukka diye youN hi sab qarz-e-dostaaN maiN ne
Paraii aag meN jhooka yeh aashiyaaN maiN ne

sher paRhne ke b'aad be ikhtiaar ahaa haa niklaa. pehlay miSra is taraH bhi daikhiaye, chukaa-aye youN haiN sabhi qarz e dostaaN meN ne

2. Khasare ka kiyya sauda, ganwaaye jaan-o-dil
Kamaaye dard hi, paayii khushi kahaN maiN ne

ye sher bhi acchha lagaa

3. dabaii dil meN hi talkhi, bhali buri sun kar
laboN pe phir bhee Tabassum rakha ayaN maiN ne

:-) maira naheeN khyaal ke khaatoon hone ki haciat se aap bhali buri keh sakti haiN. bhalaa buraa kehlawaanaa ya sun-na to aok muHaawaraa hai. aap ko bhi bhalaa buraa hi likhnaa chahiaye.

4. tirre khaloos ke qisse sunaaye sab ko hi
bharam rakha tirra youN hi kahaN kahaN maiN ne

bohat khoob hi ko hae kar ke bhi daikh leejiaye.


5. falak ko dosh de dala, tirre sitam ka bhee
Kiyya hai aap hi dushman yeh aasmaaN main ne

khyaal bohat khoobSoorat hai. mujhe aisaa lagtaa hai k pehlay miSra' meN alfaaz ki tarteeb kuch behtar honi chahiaye.



6. Hamare beech Yahi dooriaaN munacib heN
yeh marzi hai tirri jis ko, kiyya bayaN maiN ne


ye bhi achchaa khyaal hai

7. bichii hai dard ki chaadar, bichona gham ka hai
Chunne heN yaas ke patthar, kiyya makaN maiN ne

bichii oar bichhonaa to aik hi ma'nay meN naheeN aate? agar yooN kiyaa jaa-aye to kyaa khayaal hai hai aooRhi dard ki chaadar, bichhonaa gham ka hai

8. thakkan se choor thee maiN rooh muntashir sii thee
So de di jaan, kiyya paar imtahaaN maiN ne

sh'eriat ke aitbaar se sh'er khoob hai laikin khyaal mujhe zaati Tor par pasand naheeN ayaa. har shakhas apne nuqtaa nazar se sochtaa hai. mairaa naheeN khyaal ke aap is ka buraa manaa-aiN gi.


kissi bhool chook ke leeaye paishgi ma'zirat,


khairandesh,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273

938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
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haamidbaaqri
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Re: guz # 29 meri adna kaawish

Post by haamidbaaqri »

zmufti wrote:Sadr-e-Mushaira
ahl-e-bazm
aadaab
apni adna si kaawish mushaire meN pesh kar rahi hooN
aap sab ki aaraa ka intzaar rahe ga
regards
zmufti

1. chukka diye youN hi sab qarz-e-dostaaN maiN ne
Paraii aag meN jhooka yeh aashiyaaN maiN ne

2. Khasare ka kiyya sauda, ganwaaye jaan-o-dil
Kamaaye dard hi, paayii khushi kahaN maiN ne

3. dabaii dil meN hi talkhi, bhali buri sun kar
laboN pe phir bhee Tabassum rakha ayaN maiN ne

4. tirre khaloos ke qisse sunaaye sab ko hi
bharam rakha tirra youN hi kahaN kahaN maiN ne

5. falak ko dosh de dala, tirre sitam ka bhee
Kiyya hai aap hi dushman yeh aasmaaN main ne

6. Hamare beech Yahi dooriaaN munacib heN
yeh marzi hai tirri jis ko, kiyya bayaN maiN ne

7. bichii hai dard ki chaadar, bichona gham ka hai
Chunne heN yaas ke patthar, kiyya makaN maiN ne

8. thakkan se choor thee maiN rooh muntashir sii thee
So de di jaan, kiyya paar imtahaaN maiN ne
Assalaam o alaikum
zarqa sahebah

kaise haiN aap?

aaj bahut dinoN baad hum yahaaN aaye.

aapki kaavish dekhee.pasand aayee.aik munfarid andaaz rakhtee haiN aap.

aapki is khoobsoorat kaavish per hamaari dilee daad aur mubaarakbaad haazir hai qubool farmaayeN :rose :clap01: .

allah(sbhnwt)kare zoray qalam aur ziyaadah

mukhlis
haamidbaaqari
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
zmufti
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Post by zmufti »

muhammad_19k wrote:Salam Zarqa Ji,

aap ki mutaacir kun ghazal nazar se guzri to khud ko do bataiN likhne se na rok sakaa.

khawar saheb ghazal per aap ke tabsare ke liye mamnoon hooN
kuch baatoN ka mukhtacir jawab likhti hooN
regards
zmufti


1. chukka diye youN hi sab qarz-e-dostaaN maiN ne
Paraii aag meN jhooka yeh aashiyaaN maiN ne

sher paRhne ke b'aad be ikhtiaar ahaa haa niklaa. pehlay miSra is taraH bhi daikhiaye, chukaa-aye youN haiN sabhi qarz e dostaaN meN ne

aap ki tajweez achchi aur qaabil-e-qabool hai shukria

2. Khasare ka kiyya sauda, ganwaaye jaan-o-dil
Kamaaye dard hi, paayii khushi kahaN maiN ne

ye sher bhi acchha lagaa

3. dabaii dil meN hi talkhi, bhali buri sun kar
laboN pe phir bhee Tabassum rakha ayaN maiN ne

:-) maira naheeN khyaal ke khaatoon hone ki haciat se aap bhali buri keh sakti haiN. bhalaa buraa kehlawaanaa ya sun-na to aok muHaawaraa hai. aap ko bhi bhalaa buraa hi likhnaa chahiaye.

chaliye is ko maiN jali kati se badal dooN gi

4. tirre khaloos ke qisse sunaaye sab ko hi
bharam rakha tirra youN hi kahaN kahaN maiN ne

bohat khoob hi ko hae kar ke bhi daikh leejiaye.


5. falak ko dosh de dala, tirre sitam ka bhee
Kiyya hai aap hi dushman yeh aasmaaN main ne

khyaal bohat khoobSoorat hai. mujhe aisaa lagtaa hai k pehlay miSra' meN alfaaz ki tarteeb kuch behtar honi chahiaye.



6. Hamare beech Yahi dooriaaN munacib heN
yeh marzi hai tirri jis ko, kiyya bayaN maiN ne


ye bhi achchaa khyaal hai

7. bichii hai dard ki chaadar, bichona gham ka hai
Chunne heN yaas ke patthar, kiyya makaN maiN ne

bichii oar bichhonaa to aik hi ma'nay meN naheeN aate? agar yooN kiyaa jaa-aye to kyaa khayaal hai hai aooRhi dard ki chaadar, bichhonaa gham ka hai

yahaN bhee aap ki tajweez achchii hai shukria

8. thakkan se choor thee maiN rooh muntashir sii thee
So de di jaan, kiyya paar imtahaaN maiN ne

sh'eriat ke aitbaar se sh'er khoob hai laikin khyaal mujhe zaati Tor par pasand naheeN ayaa. har shakhas apne nuqtaa nazar se sochtaa hai. mairaa naheeN khyaal ke aap is ka buraa manaa-aiN gi.


kissi bhool chook ke leeaye paishgi ma'zirat,




khairandesh,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
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