Tarahee Ghazal Guzaarish #30
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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Tarahee Ghazal Guzaarish #30
Yaraan.e meHfil!
Aadaab
Janaab.e Sadr ki ijazat se apni tarahe Ghazal pesh kar
raha hooN. Aapki aara ka muntazir rahooNga.
MuKhliS
Jawaid Badauni
zameeN waale Khushee payeeN kahaN se
mile haiN runj hi runj aasmaaN se
tumheN nisbat bus apne aashiyaaN se
hameN raGhbat hai saare gulsitaaN se
yeh hasrat hai nawaasoN ko sunaaooN
kahanee jo sunee thee Nani-maaN se
faqat ik baar chauKhaT per bulaaley
“uThega sir na tere aastaaN se”
yeh jazba hai tabahee ki Alaamat
Nazar aate haiN woh kuch mehrbaaN se
Woh thee maujood un qadmoN ke nechey
hameN jannat mili hai apni maaN se
tapish kya hai yeh unke dil se poocho
mili hai dhup jinko saibaaN se
Agar “Jawaid” Haq goyee nah choRee
Kise din haath dho baiThoge jaaN se
- muhammad_19k
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Mohtaram Jawaid SaHeb,
aap ki ghazal par aik nazar Daal chukaa hooN. kyaa aap ijaazat deN ge ke apni raa-aye ka izhaar next log tak pending kar sakooN?
regards,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
aap ki ghazal par aik nazar Daal chukaa hooN. kyaa aap ijaazat deN ge ke apni raa-aye ka izhaar next log tak pending kar sakooN?
regards,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
- haamidbaaqri
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Re: Tarahee Ghazal Guzaarish #30
jawaid badauni wrote:
Yaraan.e meHfil!
Aadaab
Assalaam o alaikum
jawaid bhai saahib
Janaab.e Sadr ki ijazat se apni tarahe Ghazal pesh kar
raha hooN.
ata keejiye....
Aapki aara ka muntazir rahooNga.
insha allah.
MuKhliS
Jawaid Badauni
zameeN waale Khushee payeeN kahaN se
mile haiN runj hi runj aasmaaN se
tumheN nisbat bus apne aashiyaaN se
hameN raGhbat hai saare gulsitaaN se
yeh hasrat hai nawaasoN ko sunaaooN
kahanee jo sunee thee Nani-maaN se
faqat ik baar chauKhaT per bulaaley
“uThega sir na tere aastaaN se”
yeh jazba hai tabahee ki Alaamat
Nazar aate haiN woh kuch mehrbaaN se
Woh thee maujood un qadmoN ke nechey
hameN jannat mili hai apni maaN se
tapish kya hai yeh unke dil se poocho
mili hai dhup jinko saibaaN se
Agar “Jawaid” Haq goyee nah choRee
Kise din haath dho baiThoge jaaN se
waaqayee meiN bahut khoobsoorat kalaam hai.
KHAASKAR GIRAH .......hameN bahut pasand aayee.
hamaari dilee daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayeN aapki is munfarid takhleeq per :rose
allah(sbhnwt)karay zoray qalam aur ziyaadah
aapka apna
haamidbaaqari
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
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Re: Tarahee Ghazal Guzaarish #30
haamidbaaqri wrote:jawaid badauni wrote:
Yaraan.e meHfil!
Aadaab
Assalaam o alaikum
jawaid bhai saahib
Janaab.e Sadr ki ijazat se apni tarahe Ghazal pesh kar
raha hooN.
ata keejiye....
Aapki aara ka muntazir rahooNga.
insha allah.
MuKhliS
Jawaid Badauni
zameeN waale Khushee payeeN kahaN se
mile haiN runj hi runj aasmaaN se
tumheN nisbat bus apne aashiyaaN se
hameN raGhbat hai saare gulsitaaN se
yeh hasrat hai nawaasoN ko sunaaooN
kahanee jo sunee thee Nani-maaN se
faqat ik baar chauKhaT per bulaaley
“uThega sir na tere aastaaN se”
yeh jazba hai tabahee ki Alaamat
Nazar aate haiN woh kuch mehrbaaN se
Woh thee maujood un qadmoN ke nechey
hameN jannat mili hai apni maaN se
tapish kya hai yeh unke dil se poocho
mili hai dhup jinko saibaaN se
Agar “Jawaid” Haq goyee nah choRee
Kise din haath dho baiThoge jaaN se
waaqayee meiN bahut khoobsoorat kalaam hai.
KHAASKAR GIRAH .......hameN bahut pasand aayee.
hamaari dilee daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayeN aapki is munfarid takhleeq per :rose
allah(sbhnwt)karay zoray qalam aur ziyaadah
aapka apna
haamidbaaqari
Azeezi Baaqri SaaHab,
aadaab
MaiN ne aap ko aap ki site per ek Khat bheja tha jo wapas aa gaya hai. Lagta hai kuch technical problem hai.
Iss Ghazal ki pazeeraaii ke liye behud mamnoon hooN. Aapke Khuloos ka hamesha se qaaiil hooN.
Tazmeen (grah) aap ko pasaNd aaii yeh mere liye koii Harait ki baat nahiN. Aap mere is sher ko usee Traf ley gaye jis Taraf maiN le jana chaahta tha.
Bohat bohat shukriya
Apka MuKhliS
Jawaid
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moHtaram Jawaid Badauni SaaHib aadaab!
mahanah mushae'rah July,07 GuZarish#30 ke liye aap kee Ghazal kal sharmindah ishaa't hoee hai. yeh baat baRee khush kun hai keh Biradaram Khawar SaaHib ne bhee aap kee taqleed meN mushae'rah meN Awwal Awwal Ghazal pesh karne kaa ehtemaam kiyaa hai. khudaa unheeN salamat rakhe aor aap ko bhee SeHt-o-salamatee se bhar poor daraaZ-e-u'mr se nawaZe Ameen!
Ghazal kee haiyat, andaaz-e-bayaaN, Safaee-e-maZmoon, nudrat-e-kheyaal, ma'nawiyat, lab-o-lehjah, taSweeriyat-o-kaefiyat, aor fikr-o-takhleeq kee upaj sab a'naaSir mil kar hee shaae'ir ke takhleeqee jaohor aor Zaor-e-takhiyyul kee GhammaZee karte haiN.
agar In jumlah aoSaaf-e-shae'ree ko malHooz^-e-khaat^ir rakhaa jae aor masaai'l-e-Zamanah ke saath saath Gham-e-JanaN kee aameZish ko aapas meN yooN baham digar sheer-o-shakar kar diyaa jae keh yeh andaZah lagaana mushkil ho jae keh Zeyadah aham kaon saa Gham hai. to nateejahta" jo takhleeq manaSSah-e-shahood par aae gee. woh isee Ghazal kee manad ho gee. jis par maiN likhne kee jasarat kar rahaa hooN.
aap kee Ghazal par kuch kehnee mere liye kisee sa'adat se kam naheeN hai. mujhe fakhr hai keh maiN aek aese sukhan shanaas kee Ghazal par khaamah farsaa hooN. jo Ghazal kee sabhee nazakatooN aor lat^afatooN se aashnaa hai.
zameeN waale Khushee payeeN kahaN se
mile haiN runj hi runj aasmaaN se
Bohot khoob! Waah Waah Kiyaa kehne!
tumheN nisbat bus apne aashiyaaN se
hameN raGhbat hai saare gulsitaaN se
Kiyaa kehne Waah Waah Waah Bohot khoob Jawaid bhaee Kiyaa kehne! Waah Waah,
yeh hasrat hai nawaasoN ko sunaaooN
kahanee jo sunee thee Nani-maaN se
Waah!
faqat ik baar chauKhaT per bulaaley
“uThega sir na tere aastaaN se”
Bohot Khoob Waah Waah!
yeh jazba hai tabahee ki Alaamat
Nazar aate haiN woh kuch mehrbaaN se
Waah!
Woh thee maujood un qadmoN ke nechey
hameN jannat mili hai apni maaN se
Kiyaa kehne!
tapish kya hai yeh unke dil se poocho
mili hai dhup jinko saibaaN se
Waah!
Agar “Jawaid” Haq goyee nah choRee
Kise din haath dho baiThoge jaaN se
Bohot khoob! Waah Waah Waah!
Is muraSSa' koshish par dilee dad aor mubarak baad Qubool keejiye.
Wassalam
khaadim
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
mahanah mushae'rah July,07 GuZarish#30 ke liye aap kee Ghazal kal sharmindah ishaa't hoee hai. yeh baat baRee khush kun hai keh Biradaram Khawar SaaHib ne bhee aap kee taqleed meN mushae'rah meN Awwal Awwal Ghazal pesh karne kaa ehtemaam kiyaa hai. khudaa unheeN salamat rakhe aor aap ko bhee SeHt-o-salamatee se bhar poor daraaZ-e-u'mr se nawaZe Ameen!
Ghazal kee haiyat, andaaz-e-bayaaN, Safaee-e-maZmoon, nudrat-e-kheyaal, ma'nawiyat, lab-o-lehjah, taSweeriyat-o-kaefiyat, aor fikr-o-takhleeq kee upaj sab a'naaSir mil kar hee shaae'ir ke takhleeqee jaohor aor Zaor-e-takhiyyul kee GhammaZee karte haiN.
agar In jumlah aoSaaf-e-shae'ree ko malHooz^-e-khaat^ir rakhaa jae aor masaai'l-e-Zamanah ke saath saath Gham-e-JanaN kee aameZish ko aapas meN yooN baham digar sheer-o-shakar kar diyaa jae keh yeh andaZah lagaana mushkil ho jae keh Zeyadah aham kaon saa Gham hai. to nateejahta" jo takhleeq manaSSah-e-shahood par aae gee. woh isee Ghazal kee manad ho gee. jis par maiN likhne kee jasarat kar rahaa hooN.
aap kee Ghazal par kuch kehnee mere liye kisee sa'adat se kam naheeN hai. mujhe fakhr hai keh maiN aek aese sukhan shanaas kee Ghazal par khaamah farsaa hooN. jo Ghazal kee sabhee nazakatooN aor lat^afatooN se aashnaa hai.
zameeN waale Khushee payeeN kahaN se
mile haiN runj hi runj aasmaaN se
Bohot khoob! Waah Waah Kiyaa kehne!
tumheN nisbat bus apne aashiyaaN se
hameN raGhbat hai saare gulsitaaN se
Kiyaa kehne Waah Waah Waah Bohot khoob Jawaid bhaee Kiyaa kehne! Waah Waah,
yeh hasrat hai nawaasoN ko sunaaooN
kahanee jo sunee thee Nani-maaN se
Waah!
faqat ik baar chauKhaT per bulaaley
“uThega sir na tere aastaaN se”
Bohot Khoob Waah Waah!
yeh jazba hai tabahee ki Alaamat
Nazar aate haiN woh kuch mehrbaaN se
Waah!
Woh thee maujood un qadmoN ke nechey
hameN jannat mili hai apni maaN se
Kiyaa kehne!
tapish kya hai yeh unke dil se poocho
mili hai dhup jinko saibaaN se
Waah!
Agar “Jawaid” Haq goyee nah choRee
Kise din haath dho baiThoge jaaN se
Bohot khoob! Waah Waah Waah!
Is muraSSa' koshish par dilee dad aor mubarak baad Qubool keejiye.
Wassalam
khaadim
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
- haamidbaaqri
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salaam
Azeezi Baaqri SaaHab,
aadaab
Assalaam o alaikum
jawaid bhai saahib
MaiN ne aap ko aap ki site per ek Khat bheja tha jo wapas aa gaya hai. Lagta hai kuch technical problem hai.
bilkul sahi farmaa rahay haiN aap.hamaari site ki updating ho rahi hai.bahut kuch badla jaa raha hai.aik long term plan hai.dua farmaayeN.naya email id hai. haamid@haamidbaaqari.com.
sorry for the inconvience caused.
aapka apna
haamidbaaqari
aadaab
Assalaam o alaikum
jawaid bhai saahib
MaiN ne aap ko aap ki site per ek Khat bheja tha jo wapas aa gaya hai. Lagta hai kuch technical problem hai.
bilkul sahi farmaa rahay haiN aap.hamaari site ki updating ho rahi hai.bahut kuch badla jaa raha hai.aik long term plan hai.dua farmaayeN.naya email id hai. haamid@haamidbaaqari.com.
sorry for the inconvience caused.
aapka apna
haamidbaaqari
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
- muhammad_19k
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Janab Jawaid Badauni SaHeb
leejiaye phir Haazir ho gyaa hooN. (woh baat alaihdaa hai ke abhi aap ki Taraf se maire pehlay khat ka jawa bhi naheeN aayaa .)
1. matlaa achchaa lagaa.
2. waah. bohat khoob. . mujhe is baat ki nahaait khusi hai k aap shaairi ko jaisaa samajhte haiN. waisaa hi paish bhi karte haiN. aap ne aik baar maTla' oar Husn maTla' ke zikr par farmaaya thaa ke Husn matla', matla' se behtar honaa chahiaye. meN is uSool ke amli Soorat daikh kar bohat khus ho rahaa hoooN.
3. is sher meN aik "self contradiction" chhupi hoee nazar aai. pehlay miSra meN aap naanaa ki haciat se kahaani suna-ne ke khaahishmand haiN jab ke doore miSra meN naani kahaani sunatee huway dikhai gyaee. ji ye bilkul sach hai ke naanaa bhi kahaan sunaa sakte haiN bilkul aise jaise mard kitchen meN khaana bhi pakaa sakte haiN laikin kitchen ka naam aate hi jaise aurat ka taSSawar zahn meN aataa hai mard ka naheeN waise hi bachpan ki kahaani sunaana bhi naani maaN ko hi zydaa "suite" kartaa hai naanaa ko naheeN.
4. giraa khoob hai
5. ye sher bhi achchaa hai.
6. ye sher bas theek hi lagaa
7. bohat khoob
8. bohat khoob
bohat zydaa Had e adab
mukhlis,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
leejiaye phir Haazir ho gyaa hooN. (woh baat alaihdaa hai ke abhi aap ki Taraf se maire pehlay khat ka jawa bhi naheeN aayaa .)
1. matlaa achchaa lagaa.
2. waah. bohat khoob. . mujhe is baat ki nahaait khusi hai k aap shaairi ko jaisaa samajhte haiN. waisaa hi paish bhi karte haiN. aap ne aik baar maTla' oar Husn maTla' ke zikr par farmaaya thaa ke Husn matla', matla' se behtar honaa chahiaye. meN is uSool ke amli Soorat daikh kar bohat khus ho rahaa hoooN.
3. is sher meN aik "self contradiction" chhupi hoee nazar aai. pehlay miSra meN aap naanaa ki haciat se kahaani suna-ne ke khaahishmand haiN jab ke doore miSra meN naani kahaani sunatee huway dikhai gyaee. ji ye bilkul sach hai ke naanaa bhi kahaan sunaa sakte haiN bilkul aise jaise mard kitchen meN khaana bhi pakaa sakte haiN laikin kitchen ka naam aate hi jaise aurat ka taSSawar zahn meN aataa hai mard ka naheeN waise hi bachpan ki kahaani sunaana bhi naani maaN ko hi zydaa "suite" kartaa hai naanaa ko naheeN.
4. giraa khoob hai
5. ye sher bhi achchaa hai.
6. ye sher bas theek hi lagaa
7. bohat khoob
8. bohat khoob
bohat zydaa Had e adab
mukhlis,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
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Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar wrote:moHtaram Jawaid Badauni SaaHib aadaab!
mahanah mushae'rah July,07 GuZarish#30 ke liye aap kee Ghazal kal sharmindah ishaa't hoee hai. yeh baat baRee khush kun hai keh Biradaram Khawar SaaHib ne bhee aap kee taqleed meN mushae'rah meN Awwal Awwal Ghazal pesh karne kaa ehtemaam kiyaa hai. khudaa unheeN salamat rakhe aor aap ko bhee SeHt-o-salamatee se bhar poor daraaZ-e-u'mr se nawaZe Ameen!
Ghazal kee haiyat, andaaz-e-bayaaN, Safaee-e-maZmoon, nudrat-e-kheyaal, ma'nawiyat, lab-o-lehjah, taSweeriyat-o-kaefiyat, aor fikr-o-takhleeq kee upaj sab a'naaSir mil kar hee shaae'ir ke takhleeqee jaohor aor Zaor-e-takhiyyul kee GhammaZee karte haiN.
agar In jumlah aoSaaf-e-shae'ree ko malHooz^-e-khaat^ir rakhaa jae aor masaai'l-e-Zamanah ke saath saath Gham-e-JanaN kee aameZish ko aapas meN yooN baham digar sheer-o-shakar kar diyaa jae keh yeh andaZah lagaana mushkil ho jae keh Zeyadah aham kaon saa Gham hai. to nateejahta" jo takhleeq manaSSah-e-shahood par aae gee. woh isee Ghazal kee manad ho gee. jis par maiN likhne kee jasarat kar rahaa hooN.
aap kee Ghazal par kuch kehnee mere liye kisee sa'adat se kam naheeN hai. mujhe fakhr hai keh maiN aek aese sukhan shanaas kee Ghazal par khaamah farsaa hooN. jo Ghazal kee sabhee nazakatooN aor lat^afatooN se aashnaa hai.
zameeN waale Khushee payeeN kahaN se
mile haiN runj hi runj aasmaaN se
Bohot khoob! Waah Waah Kiyaa kehne!
tumheN nisbat bus apne aashiyaaN se
hameN raGhbat hai saare gulsitaaN se
Kiyaa kehne Waah Waah Waah Bohot khoob Jawaid bhaee Kiyaa kehne! Waah Waah,
yeh hasrat hai nawaasoN ko sunaaooN
kahanee jo sunee thee Nani-maaN se
Waah!
faqat ik baar chauKhaT per bulaaley
“uThega sir na tere aastaaN se”
Bohot Khoob Waah Waah!
yeh jazba hai tabahee ki Alaamat
Nazar aate haiN woh kuch mehrbaaN se
Waah!
Woh thee maujood un qadmoN ke nechey
hameN jannat mili hai apni maaN se
Kiyaa kehne!
tapish kya hai yeh unke dil se poocho
mili hai dhup jinko saibaaN se
Waah!
Agar “Jawaid” Haq goyee nah choRee
Kise din haath dho baiThoge jaaN se
Bohot khoob! Waah Waah Waah!
Is muraSSa' koshish par dilee dad aor mubarak baad Qubool keejiye.
Wassalam
khaadim
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
MoHibbee Muzaffar SaaHab,
Aadaab
Ghazal ki bharpur pazeeraaii aur aap ke GraNqadr tabsarey ke liye aap ka behud mamnoon hooN. Aapke kalmaat se himmat afzaaii hoti hai. Mujhe Khushee hai Ghazal aap ko pasaNd aaii.
MiSra iss baar bhi achcha diya gaya hai mujhe ummid hai mushaairah bohat kaamyaab rahega aur achchee ghazaleN paRhne ko mileNgee.
Aapka MuKhliS
Jawaid Badauni
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Re: Tarahee Ghazal Guzaarish #30
Mohterem jawaid badauni saaheb Aadaab
pehlay to aap ki ghazal per, jo aap ki riwaeti fankaranah muharet aur inferaadi andaaz say muzayyn hay, daad daita huN.
zameeN waale Khushee payeeN kahaN se
mile haiN runj hi runj aasmaaN se
meray khayal maiN is sher maiN izhaar-e-mayoosi ka andaaz hed e adab say bahir nikel ker nashukri ki teraf ja raha hay. shaed kissi waqti jazbay say maghlubiet ki halet maiN yeh sher ho gaya ho, dekh lijiay.
tumheN nisbat bus apne aashiyaaN se
hameN raGhbat hai saare gulsitaaN se
yeh hui nah baat
yeh hasrat hai nawaasoN ko sunaaooN
kahanee jo sunee thee Nani-maaN se
khwahish ti achi hay laikin khawer saaheb ki baat bhi ghalet nahiN.
faqat ik baar chauKhaT per bulaaley
“uThega sir na tere aastaaN se”
is baat per maiN izhaar-e-raey apni ghazal kay saath ker chuka huN.
yeh jazba hai tabahee ki Alaamat
Nazar aate haiN woh kuch mehrbaaN se
bohat khub janab.
Woh thee maujood un qadmoN ke nechey
hameN jannat mili hai apni maaN se
maaN kay hazoor acha nazranah-e-aqeedet, daad qabil kijiay
tapish kya hai yeh unke dil se poocho
mili hai dhup jinko saibaaN se
bohat khub, khayal ki khub perwaaz hay.
Agar “Jawaid” Haq goyee nah choRee
Kise din haath dho baiThoge jaaN se
yeh bhi saheeh hay, laikin janaab yeh shahaadet ho gi
wassalam
sohail malik
pehlay to aap ki ghazal per, jo aap ki riwaeti fankaranah muharet aur inferaadi andaaz say muzayyn hay, daad daita huN.
zameeN waale Khushee payeeN kahaN se
mile haiN runj hi runj aasmaaN se
meray khayal maiN is sher maiN izhaar-e-mayoosi ka andaaz hed e adab say bahir nikel ker nashukri ki teraf ja raha hay. shaed kissi waqti jazbay say maghlubiet ki halet maiN yeh sher ho gaya ho, dekh lijiay.
tumheN nisbat bus apne aashiyaaN se
hameN raGhbat hai saare gulsitaaN se
yeh hui nah baat
yeh hasrat hai nawaasoN ko sunaaooN
kahanee jo sunee thee Nani-maaN se
khwahish ti achi hay laikin khawer saaheb ki baat bhi ghalet nahiN.
faqat ik baar chauKhaT per bulaaley
“uThega sir na tere aastaaN se”
is baat per maiN izhaar-e-raey apni ghazal kay saath ker chuka huN.
yeh jazba hai tabahee ki Alaamat
Nazar aate haiN woh kuch mehrbaaN se
bohat khub janab.
Woh thee maujood un qadmoN ke nechey
hameN jannat mili hai apni maaN se
maaN kay hazoor acha nazranah-e-aqeedet, daad qabil kijiay
tapish kya hai yeh unke dil se poocho
mili hai dhup jinko saibaaN se
bohat khub, khayal ki khub perwaaz hay.
Agar “Jawaid” Haq goyee nah choRee
Kise din haath dho baiThoge jaaN se
yeh bhi saheeh hay, laikin janaab yeh shahaadet ho gi
wassalam
sohail malik
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Re: Tarahee Ghazal Guzaarish #30
Sohail Malik wrote:Mohterem jawaid badauni saaheb Aadaab
pehlay to aap ki ghazal per, jo aap ki riwaeti fankaranah muharet aur inferaadi andaaz say muzayyn hay, daad daita huN.
Bohat bohat shukriya Sohail Malik Saahab.
zameeN waale Khushee payeeN kahaN se
mile haiN runj hi runj aasmaaN se
meray khayal maiN is sher maiN izhaar-e-mayoosi ka andaaz hed e adab say bahir nikel ker nashukri ki teraf ja raha hay. shaed kissi waqti jazbay say maghlubiet ki halet maiN yeh sher ho gaya ho, dekh lijiay.
Ji aisa kuch bhi nahiN huuwa hai. Urdu shairee meN ek Traeeqah ya riwaaj yeh hai keh Falak ko dushman tasawwoor kiya jata hai aur saaree muSeebatoN ka zimmedaar falak ko bataya jata hai. Falak yahaN ek isharey ke taur per istaimAAl hota hai. Mayuusi ki Had se baRhne ka koii sawal nahiN. Albutta sher riwayite hai sada hai mAmuli hai aur matla baraye matla hai yeh sub main tasleem karta hooN. Ghazal ke tamam ashAAr ek jaise nahiN hote; kuch achche hote hain kuch bohat achche aur kuch mAmuli.
MuKhliS
Jawaid
MuKhliS
Jawaid
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muhammad_19k wrote:
Khawar Saahab
ghazal ke jin ashAAr ki aap ne pazeeraai ki hai maiN unke liye aap ka behud mamnoon hooN.
Main is e'traz per aap se muttafiq nahiN. Kahaani maN ya baap koii bhi suna sakta hai. Aap ne woh mash'hoor Hindi gana suna hoga jismeN Amitabh Bachchan Sahab bohat se bachchoN ko ga ga ker kahaani sunate haiN. Woh naghma bohat mash'hoor huuwa tha. Aap ne kya Waseem Bareilvee Sahab ka yeh mash'hoor sher ek baar bhi nahiN suna? Woh ek kohna mashq shayar haiN Urdu ke Head of the department rah chuke haiN. Bohat qabil logoN meN shumar hai unka.3. is sher meN aik "self contradiction" chhupi hoee nazar aai. pehlay miSra meN aap naanaa ki haciat se kahaani suna-ne ke khaahishmand haiN jab ke doore miSra meN naani kahaani sunatee huway dikhai gyaee. ji ye bilkul sach hai ke naanaa bhi kahaan sunaa sakte haiN bilkul aise jaise mard kitchen meN khaana bhi pakaa sakte haiN laikin kitchen ka naam aate hi jaise aurat ka taSSawar zahn meN aataa hai mard ka naheeN waise hi bachpan ki kahaani sunaana bhi naani maaN ko hi zydaa "suite" kartaa hai naanaa ko naheeN.
Nanhe bachchoN ne chhu bhi liya chaNd ko
BoRhe baba kahaanee sunaate rahe
Albutta khana pakaana yaqeenan Khawateen ka hi kaam hai. Lekin yahaN bhi wazeh kar dooN keh duniya ke jitne bhi namwar pakane wale "cook" guzrey hain woh sub ke sub mard thEy.
MaiN is sher meN jo kahna chaha hai wahan tak aap pahooNch hi nahiN sake. Ek baar phir is per Gaur kijiye phir maiN aapko bataaoNga keh maiN kya kahna chaahta tha.
6Ek baar phir aapne bohat mayuus kiya. Yeh mera haSil.e Ghazal sher hai. Waise tou maiN ne koii naii baat nahiN kahi hai sub jaante haiN maan ke paaooN ke neeche jannat hoti hai lekin inteKhaab.e mazmoon per ya sher ke andaz per kuch daad tou dey dete aap. Khair phir kabhi de deejiyega.. ye sher bas theek hi lagaa
Aapka MuKhliS
Jawaid
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zmufti wrote:zameeN waale Khushee payeeN kahaN se
mile haiN runj hi runj aasmaaN se
buhat khoob
Jawaid bhai
mushaire MeN aap ki ghazal buhat pasand aayii
meri janib se daad qabool kijye
regards
zmufti
Azeezah Zarqa SaaHibah,
MuKhtasar tabsarey aur Ghazal ki pazeeraaii ke liye aap ka
mamnoon hooN.
Khoosh raheN!
Jawaid