'azeez dosto,
leejiaye mujhe mubaarakbaad dijiaye. daikhiaye kaisaa kama huwaa ke meN aik hi haftay meN doosri ghazal keh Daali. meN abhi tak khud bhi Heeran hooN ;). aor sonay par suHaagaa ye ke meN jo aik ghazal meN 6 ya 7 ashaar likhne ke baad haftoN sochne par bhi koi nayaa sher na keh pataa thaa aap ki khidmat meN 19 ashaar ki ghazal paish kar rahaa hooN. 8). (muzaffar SaHeb ;))
ji is meN koi shaq nahi ke ashaar ki ta'adaad ghazal ka ma'yaar qaraar naheeN paataa. laikin meN ye tamaa ashaar aap ki khidmat meN is leeaye paish kar rahaa hooN ke aap mairi madad kareN.
1. konsa sher ya qitaa' aap ko pasand aayaa?
2. agar mujhe is sher meN sirf 5 ashaar ( bashamool qit'aat ) rakhne hoN to konsay 5 ashaar rakhooN.
3. kon kon se ash'aar oar qit'aat is ghazal meN se ba'aasani nikaalay ja sakte haiN.
4. agar aap kisi sh'er par koi tajveez dainaa chaah raheN hoN toa meN shukrguzaar hooN ga
aap sub ki raa-aye ka muntazir oar shukrguzaar,
Regards,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
shukr ke dil ne rahbari ki hai. - Muhammad K. Siddqui
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
- muhammad_19k
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shukr ke dil ne rahbari ki hai. - Muhammad K. Siddqui
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Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
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Re: shukr ke dil ne rahbari ki hai. - Muhammad K. Siddqui
[quote="muhammad_19k"]'azeez dosto,
leejiaye mujhe mubaarakbaad dijiaye. daikhiaye kaisaa kama huwaa ke meN aik hi haftay meN doosri ghazal keh Daali. meN abhi tak khud bhi Heeran hooN ;). aor sonay par suHaagaa ye ke meN jo aik ghazal meN 6 ya 7 ashaar likhne ke baad haftoN sochne par bhi koi nayaa sher na keh pataa thaa aap ki khidmat meN 19 ashaar ki ghazal paish kar rahaa hooN. 8). (muzaffar SaHeb ;))
Bhai Muhammad Khawar Saheb...... mujhe pata hai ke aap jab MOOD main hote hain to 6, 7 aur 19 ashaar kya.... aap to 119 ashaar ke ghazal bhi keh sakte hain magar..... aap hain ke apni shairi ki tarah tawazzuh hi nahin dete..... yaqeen maniye aap ki shairi main wahi purani classical andaz nazar aata hai jo ustaadon ke ghazlon main mujhe nazar aata hai.
Aap ki ghazal ka har sher Qabil-e-daad hai.... kauns e sher ko muntakhib karoon aur kis ka dil dukhaaoon... main ek shair hoon aur khoob jaanta hoon ke... ek ek sher kehne main shair ko kaun kaun si manzilon se guzarna padta hai...... Ek Maa se agar aap poochenge ke aap ka kaun sa bachcha achcha hai to wohh kya jawaab degi??????
EK Behtareen Ghazal share karne ke liye Daad Qobool kiziye aur haan...... agar ho sake to eska Roman bhi 'Post' kar diziye taki jo log urdu padh nahin sakte hain wohh is behtareen ghazal se mehroom na rah jaayein.
aap ka apna,
MAN
leejiaye mujhe mubaarakbaad dijiaye. daikhiaye kaisaa kama huwaa ke meN aik hi haftay meN doosri ghazal keh Daali. meN abhi tak khud bhi Heeran hooN ;). aor sonay par suHaagaa ye ke meN jo aik ghazal meN 6 ya 7 ashaar likhne ke baad haftoN sochne par bhi koi nayaa sher na keh pataa thaa aap ki khidmat meN 19 ashaar ki ghazal paish kar rahaa hooN. 8). (muzaffar SaHeb ;))
Bhai Muhammad Khawar Saheb...... mujhe pata hai ke aap jab MOOD main hote hain to 6, 7 aur 19 ashaar kya.... aap to 119 ashaar ke ghazal bhi keh sakte hain magar..... aap hain ke apni shairi ki tarah tawazzuh hi nahin dete..... yaqeen maniye aap ki shairi main wahi purani classical andaz nazar aata hai jo ustaadon ke ghazlon main mujhe nazar aata hai.
Aap ki ghazal ka har sher Qabil-e-daad hai.... kauns e sher ko muntakhib karoon aur kis ka dil dukhaaoon... main ek shair hoon aur khoob jaanta hoon ke... ek ek sher kehne main shair ko kaun kaun si manzilon se guzarna padta hai...... Ek Maa se agar aap poochenge ke aap ka kaun sa bachcha achcha hai to wohh kya jawaab degi??????
EK Behtareen Ghazal share karne ke liye Daad Qobool kiziye aur haan...... agar ho sake to eska Roman bhi 'Post' kar diziye taki jo log urdu padh nahin sakte hain wohh is behtareen ghazal se mehroom na rah jaayein.
aap ka apna,
MAN
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mohtaram janab muneer SaHeb,
aap ne mairi ghazal par apni jo raa-aye di hai. us ke paRhne ke b'aad mujhe is izhaar meN koi hichkachaahat naheeN ke aap bohat achchay Husn e zan ke maalik haiN ke saadaa si koshsish meN bhi aisi khoobSoorti dhooNd rahay haiN. meN to abhi is maqaam par hooN ke maire likhay huway ko sher hi maan lee-aye jaa-aye to meN khud ko aasmaan par samjhtaa hooN. sher ka achhcaa honaa to bohat door ki baat hai.
aap ne ye keh kar ke tamaam hi sher achchay haiN apnaa kaam to aasaan kar leeaye aor mairaa mushkil . bhalaa mujhe kyaa pataa chalay ga ke mujhe apni shaairi ka konsaa aib door karnaa hai.
aji Hazrat, mairi HoSlaa afzai karne waalay boHat se log haiN aap se meN darkhaast kartaa hooN ke aap mairi iSlaaH farmaayaa karaiN. jahaaN kuch ghalat lagay forun Tok diyaa kareN. aor jahaan koi tajweez zahn me aa-aye forun paish kiaa karaiN. taa ke mujhe kuch seekhne ka moqa milay.
aap ka bohat bohat shukrguzaar,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
aap ne mairi ghazal par apni jo raa-aye di hai. us ke paRhne ke b'aad mujhe is izhaar meN koi hichkachaahat naheeN ke aap bohat achchay Husn e zan ke maalik haiN ke saadaa si koshsish meN bhi aisi khoobSoorti dhooNd rahay haiN. meN to abhi is maqaam par hooN ke maire likhay huway ko sher hi maan lee-aye jaa-aye to meN khud ko aasmaan par samjhtaa hooN. sher ka achhcaa honaa to bohat door ki baat hai.
aap ne ye keh kar ke tamaam hi sher achchay haiN apnaa kaam to aasaan kar leeaye aor mairaa mushkil . bhalaa mujhe kyaa pataa chalay ga ke mujhe apni shaairi ka konsaa aib door karnaa hai.
aji Hazrat, mairi HoSlaa afzai karne waalay boHat se log haiN aap se meN darkhaast kartaa hooN ke aap mairi iSlaaH farmaayaa karaiN. jahaaN kuch ghalat lagay forun Tok diyaa kareN. aor jahaan koi tajweez zahn me aa-aye forun paish kiaa karaiN. taa ke mujhe kuch seekhne ka moqa milay.
aap ka bohat bohat shukrguzaar,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
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moHtaram Biradaram Khawar SaaHib aadaab!
Janaab aap ne to waaqae'ee kamaal hee kar diyaa hai. 19 she'erooN kee Ghazal kehnaa aor woh bhee is rawaanee se lohe ke chane chabane ke mutaradif hai. Ghalib ne kahaa thaa keh "aate haiN Ghaeb se yeh maZ^ameeN kheyaal meN" aap kee yeh Ghazal dekh kar mujhe mirZa SaaHib kee baat par yaqeeN aaya. keh yeh asha'aar aor woh bhee barish ke qat^rooN kee maanand Ghaeb se hee aa sakte haiN. jahaaN tak daad-o-teHseen kaa ta'luq hai to woh to aap kaa Haq hai. is liye teh-e-dil se mubarak baad aor daad pesh kartaa hooN.
aap ke asha'aar barjastah aaeY haiN. aor in meN shustagee bhee hai. lekin yeh bhee naheeN kahaa jaa saktaa keh maZeed shust (Safaaee) kee Gunjaae'ish naheeN. har fard apnee i'lmee istet^a'at ke muwafiq raeY de gaa aor tanqeed kare gaa. aor kae'ee de bhee chuke haiN. agarcheh maiN apnee kam maae'gee kee laaJ rakhte huwe meHeZ^ daad-o-taoSeef par hee iktefaa kartaa hooN. aor agar kaheeN koee Gunjaae'ish meHsoos karooN bhee to use apne hee fareb-e-naz^ar se ta'beer kartaa hooN. lekin aap kee muHabbat aor dilchaspee ko dekhte huwe dil chahataa hai keh aap ke kaam meN haath baTayaa jae. aor mil jul kar yeh baar-e-sukhan uThaeeN. isee jaZbah aor umang ko le kar apnee raeY pesh kartaa hooN. Sirf raeY aor mashwarah jaan kar dekheeN. rad karne kaa aap ke paas utnaa hee Haq hai jitnaa mujhe daad dene kaa. (Sirf aap ke Hukm kee ta'meel meN chand bateeN likh rahaa hooN. warnah daad par hee iktefaa kar letaa aor yeh jurra'at nah kartaa)
1,
Zindagee bhar yeh naokaree kee hai
aap ke ghar kee chakaree kee hai!
naokaree aor chakaree donooN kaa aek hee mafhoom hai is liye she'er khaalee az lut^f reh geyaa hai. yaa shayad mujhe aesaa lagaa. aor muraad yeh lee jaa rahee hai keh ham ne aap ke ghar kee mulazmat kee hai. ya'nee ghar kaa kaam kaaj jaese mulazim karte haiN....... :) yeh she'er z^areefanah zeyadah behtar lage gaa. is liye ise ise Ghazal meN shamil nah keejiye aor mat^la' to waese bhee #2 she'er hai hee.
2,
ek Zaamane se dushmanee kee hai
aap se ham ne dostee kee hai!
ise aese keh kar dekheeN jab lafz^ :se: aae gaa to muraad ho gaa keh aap ne Zamanah se dushmanee kee hai. aor aap ne use dushman janaa hai. is liye lafz^ :ne: honaa chahiye. jaese keh neeche likh diyaa hai
ehl-e-dunyaa ne dushmanee kee hai
tark lekin nah dostee kee hai!
3,
apnee manzil kee yooN sae'ee kee hai
"har qadam ham ne a'ashaqee kee hai" aek Surat yeh dekheeN.
laaj rakhkhee hai "Qaes" kee ham ne
"har qadam ham ne a'ashaqee hai"
4,
i'shQ aesaa bhee naamuraad nah thaa
Husn walooN ne dushmanee kee hai
i'sq aesaa bhee naa muraad nah thaa Waah! Husn walooN kee kaj rawee yaa be rukhee Zeyadah a'aam hai. she'er dekheeN. dushmanee ko be rukhee kar ke dekheeN
to aek Surat yeh bhee ho saktee hai
i'shq ne naa muraad rehnaa thaa.
Husn walooN ne "be rukhee" kee hai
5,
nah gaee teeragee mire ghar se
laakh suraj ne raoshanee kee hai
Kiyaa kehne! Waah!
6,
kab talak tarpe gaa tera bismil
baat bas aek do ghaRee kee hai.
is kee shustagee laazamee hai yeh dekheen.
taab laaeY gaa kab talak bismil
baat bas aek do ghaRee kee hai
7,
mere aor dil ke darmiyaaN jo hai
maiN ne us kee hee bandagee kee hai
is meN ibhaam hai...keh darmiyaan kiyaa hai.? yeh dekheeN
teraa paekar banaa liyaa dil meN
Sirf teree hee bandagee kee hai
8,
ho geyaa shaoQ Sabr par Hawee
dil ne aakhir yeh mukhbaree kee hai
Kiyaa kehne! WaahWaah
miSra'-e-cani meN aakhir kaa koee mafhoom ada naheeN ho raha. so
ho geyaa shaoq Sabr par Hawee
meree dil ne yeh mukhbaree kee hai
9,
Husn-e-JanaaN HaseeN Ghazal Thehra
ek muSawwir ne shaae'ree kee hai
muSawwir muSawwaree kartaa hai. shaae'iree naheeN....is liye ise yooN keh sakte haiN.
"aek shaae'ir ne shaae'iree kee hai"
10,
khud ko aaGhaosh meN tiree paa kar
Chaand ne jab bhee chaandni kee hai.
yeh ma^moon ulajh geyaa hai.
ise dobarah dekh leeN.
11,
(Q)
waSl kee shab agar mire dil ne
khuwaahish-e-t^ool-e-teeragee kee hai
shab-e-furqat meN ham ne jaan-e-jaaN
dil jala ke bhee raoshanee kee hai
donooN she'rooN meN taZ^aad hai. pehle she'er meN "khuwahish-e-t^ool-e-teeragee" hai. aor neche "dil jala kar bhee raoshanee kee hai" ya'nee upar dil tareekee maangtaa hai. aor neche ke she'er meN dil jala kar aor woh bhee shab-e-furqat meN raoshanee kee jaa rahee hai. HaalaNkeh upar ke she'er meN to waSl ho geyaa hai. lekin neche ke she'er meN shab-e-furqat kaesee? yeh qit^a'ah dobarah kehnaa ho gaa. yeh taZ^aad khatam karna a Had darajah Z^aruree hai.
12,
be rukhee bhee ada bataee hai
aap ne jab bhee be rukhee kee hai
yeh Surat dekheeN
be rukhee ko bhee ham ada samjhe
aap ne jab bhee be rukhee kee hai
13,
sooch kar thaamiye gaa haath mira
phir nah kahiye gaa dil lagee kee hai
yeh Surat dekheeN
thaam looN haath aap kaa lekin
aap ne sab se dil lagee kee hai
15,
ab hai ikhlaaS Gumshudah motee
====================
yeh she'er bhee rehneeN deeN.
16,
Aadamee Aadamee ka dushman hai
Ghalat^ee is meN Aadamee kee hai
Waah Waah!
lekin dusraa miSra' beHer meN nah aasakaa. daraSl :Ghalat^ee: ko :Ghalt^ee: likh diyaa geyaa hai.
yeh dekheeN
Aadamee Aadamee ka dushman hai
yeh bhee taoheen Aadamee kee hai
17,
A'alam-e-lut^f-o-kaef-o-mastee hai
u'mr bhar jaese maekashee kee hai
yeh a'alam kiyooN hai????
yooN kar ke dekheeN.
teree naz^rooN ke jaam kiyaa Kehne!
u'mr bhar ham ne maekashee kee hai
18,
ham Guzar aaeY daor-e-weHshat se
ham ne bhar poor ZindaGee kee hai
Bohot khoob Waah Waah!
a'ql do Gaam nah chalee lekin
shukr ke dil ne rehbaree kee hai
shukr hai==============!
Bohot khoob Waah Waah!
Khush raheeN
FaiZ^ kee is ameen meN "Khawar"
Aap ne khoob shae'iree kee hai!
Wassalam
Muaffar A Muaffar
Janaab aap ne to waaqae'ee kamaal hee kar diyaa hai. 19 she'erooN kee Ghazal kehnaa aor woh bhee is rawaanee se lohe ke chane chabane ke mutaradif hai. Ghalib ne kahaa thaa keh "aate haiN Ghaeb se yeh maZ^ameeN kheyaal meN" aap kee yeh Ghazal dekh kar mujhe mirZa SaaHib kee baat par yaqeeN aaya. keh yeh asha'aar aor woh bhee barish ke qat^rooN kee maanand Ghaeb se hee aa sakte haiN. jahaaN tak daad-o-teHseen kaa ta'luq hai to woh to aap kaa Haq hai. is liye teh-e-dil se mubarak baad aor daad pesh kartaa hooN.
aap ke asha'aar barjastah aaeY haiN. aor in meN shustagee bhee hai. lekin yeh bhee naheeN kahaa jaa saktaa keh maZeed shust (Safaaee) kee Gunjaae'ish naheeN. har fard apnee i'lmee istet^a'at ke muwafiq raeY de gaa aor tanqeed kare gaa. aor kae'ee de bhee chuke haiN. agarcheh maiN apnee kam maae'gee kee laaJ rakhte huwe meHeZ^ daad-o-taoSeef par hee iktefaa kartaa hooN. aor agar kaheeN koee Gunjaae'ish meHsoos karooN bhee to use apne hee fareb-e-naz^ar se ta'beer kartaa hooN. lekin aap kee muHabbat aor dilchaspee ko dekhte huwe dil chahataa hai keh aap ke kaam meN haath baTayaa jae. aor mil jul kar yeh baar-e-sukhan uThaeeN. isee jaZbah aor umang ko le kar apnee raeY pesh kartaa hooN. Sirf raeY aor mashwarah jaan kar dekheeN. rad karne kaa aap ke paas utnaa hee Haq hai jitnaa mujhe daad dene kaa. (Sirf aap ke Hukm kee ta'meel meN chand bateeN likh rahaa hooN. warnah daad par hee iktefaa kar letaa aor yeh jurra'at nah kartaa)
1,
Zindagee bhar yeh naokaree kee hai
aap ke ghar kee chakaree kee hai!
naokaree aor chakaree donooN kaa aek hee mafhoom hai is liye she'er khaalee az lut^f reh geyaa hai. yaa shayad mujhe aesaa lagaa. aor muraad yeh lee jaa rahee hai keh ham ne aap ke ghar kee mulazmat kee hai. ya'nee ghar kaa kaam kaaj jaese mulazim karte haiN....... :) yeh she'er z^areefanah zeyadah behtar lage gaa. is liye ise ise Ghazal meN shamil nah keejiye aor mat^la' to waese bhee #2 she'er hai hee.
2,
ek Zaamane se dushmanee kee hai
aap se ham ne dostee kee hai!
ise aese keh kar dekheeN jab lafz^ :se: aae gaa to muraad ho gaa keh aap ne Zamanah se dushmanee kee hai. aor aap ne use dushman janaa hai. is liye lafz^ :ne: honaa chahiye. jaese keh neeche likh diyaa hai
ehl-e-dunyaa ne dushmanee kee hai
tark lekin nah dostee kee hai!
3,
apnee manzil kee yooN sae'ee kee hai
"har qadam ham ne a'ashaqee kee hai" aek Surat yeh dekheeN.
laaj rakhkhee hai "Qaes" kee ham ne
"har qadam ham ne a'ashaqee hai"
4,
i'shQ aesaa bhee naamuraad nah thaa
Husn walooN ne dushmanee kee hai
i'sq aesaa bhee naa muraad nah thaa Waah! Husn walooN kee kaj rawee yaa be rukhee Zeyadah a'aam hai. she'er dekheeN. dushmanee ko be rukhee kar ke dekheeN
to aek Surat yeh bhee ho saktee hai
i'shq ne naa muraad rehnaa thaa.
Husn walooN ne "be rukhee" kee hai
5,
nah gaee teeragee mire ghar se
laakh suraj ne raoshanee kee hai
Kiyaa kehne! Waah!
6,
kab talak tarpe gaa tera bismil
baat bas aek do ghaRee kee hai.
is kee shustagee laazamee hai yeh dekheen.
taab laaeY gaa kab talak bismil
baat bas aek do ghaRee kee hai
7,
mere aor dil ke darmiyaaN jo hai
maiN ne us kee hee bandagee kee hai
is meN ibhaam hai...keh darmiyaan kiyaa hai.? yeh dekheeN
teraa paekar banaa liyaa dil meN
Sirf teree hee bandagee kee hai
8,
ho geyaa shaoQ Sabr par Hawee
dil ne aakhir yeh mukhbaree kee hai
Kiyaa kehne! WaahWaah
miSra'-e-cani meN aakhir kaa koee mafhoom ada naheeN ho raha. so
ho geyaa shaoq Sabr par Hawee
meree dil ne yeh mukhbaree kee hai
9,
Husn-e-JanaaN HaseeN Ghazal Thehra
ek muSawwir ne shaae'ree kee hai
muSawwir muSawwaree kartaa hai. shaae'iree naheeN....is liye ise yooN keh sakte haiN.
"aek shaae'ir ne shaae'iree kee hai"
10,
khud ko aaGhaosh meN tiree paa kar
Chaand ne jab bhee chaandni kee hai.
yeh ma^moon ulajh geyaa hai.
ise dobarah dekh leeN.
11,
(Q)
waSl kee shab agar mire dil ne
khuwaahish-e-t^ool-e-teeragee kee hai
shab-e-furqat meN ham ne jaan-e-jaaN
dil jala ke bhee raoshanee kee hai
donooN she'rooN meN taZ^aad hai. pehle she'er meN "khuwahish-e-t^ool-e-teeragee" hai. aor neche "dil jala kar bhee raoshanee kee hai" ya'nee upar dil tareekee maangtaa hai. aor neche ke she'er meN dil jala kar aor woh bhee shab-e-furqat meN raoshanee kee jaa rahee hai. HaalaNkeh upar ke she'er meN to waSl ho geyaa hai. lekin neche ke she'er meN shab-e-furqat kaesee? yeh qit^a'ah dobarah kehnaa ho gaa. yeh taZ^aad khatam karna a Had darajah Z^aruree hai.
12,
be rukhee bhee ada bataee hai
aap ne jab bhee be rukhee kee hai
yeh Surat dekheeN
be rukhee ko bhee ham ada samjhe
aap ne jab bhee be rukhee kee hai
13,
sooch kar thaamiye gaa haath mira
phir nah kahiye gaa dil lagee kee hai
yeh Surat dekheeN
thaam looN haath aap kaa lekin
aap ne sab se dil lagee kee hai
15,
ab hai ikhlaaS Gumshudah motee
====================
yeh she'er bhee rehneeN deeN.
16,
Aadamee Aadamee ka dushman hai
Ghalat^ee is meN Aadamee kee hai
Waah Waah!
lekin dusraa miSra' beHer meN nah aasakaa. daraSl :Ghalat^ee: ko :Ghalt^ee: likh diyaa geyaa hai.
yeh dekheeN
Aadamee Aadamee ka dushman hai
yeh bhee taoheen Aadamee kee hai
17,
A'alam-e-lut^f-o-kaef-o-mastee hai
u'mr bhar jaese maekashee kee hai
yeh a'alam kiyooN hai????
yooN kar ke dekheeN.
teree naz^rooN ke jaam kiyaa Kehne!
u'mr bhar ham ne maekashee kee hai
18,
ham Guzar aaeY daor-e-weHshat se
ham ne bhar poor ZindaGee kee hai
Bohot khoob Waah Waah!
a'ql do Gaam nah chalee lekin
shukr ke dil ne rehbaree kee hai
shukr hai==============!
Bohot khoob Waah Waah!
Khush raheeN
FaiZ^ kee is ameen meN "Khawar"
Aap ne khoob shae'iree kee hai!
Wassalam
Muaffar A Muaffar
- muhammad_19k
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- Posts: 540
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- Contact:
moHtaram Janab Muzaffar Saheb,
Salam o Adaab!
aap ka behad mamnoon hooN ke aap in is moHabbat oar tawaaja se mairi ghazal koi daikhaa. meN aap ke tamaam mashwaraa jaat ke leeaye behad shukrguzaar hooN. aap jaante hi haiN ke abhi shaairi shroo hi ki hai. pukhtagi aate aate kuch to waqt lagaa gaa.
muzaffar SaHeb ye yaqeenun aik fan hai ke shaair jo kehnaa chaah rahaa hai paRhne waalaa bhi wohi samajhe. baaz auqaat aisaa naheeN hotaa. is meN yaqeenun do mumkinaat hote haiN. Shair woh baat keh naheeN paayaa. ya paRhne waalaa ussay samajh naheeN payaa. mujhe is sher meN aisaa lagaa rahaa hai ke meN ne apni baat bilkul theek ki hai. meN wazaaHat kartaa hooN phir aap bataa-iaye ga ke kyaa mafhoom adaa huwaa ke naheeN.
nokar ka lafaz kissi bhi malaazam ke leeaye aor chaakar ka lafz ghar ke malaazam ke leeaye istemaal hotaa hai. nokari ka taalluq kamaane se aor chaakri ke saath khidmat ke zahn meN aataa hai. aor likhne walaa kehnaa chahtaa hai ke meN ne saari umr jo kaam dhandaa kiyaa hai woh Sirf aap ki khidmat hai.
aap ne bilkul theek nuqtaa uThaaya hai. tajveez ke leeaye shukriyaa
hmm. isse bhi daikhnaa paRay ga
meN doosre miSra par zaroor ghor karooN ga.
shukriyaa.
ji shukriyaa.
is sher par meN koi compromise naheeN kar saktaa . kyooN ke ye khaaliStan maire leeaye hai. mairaa khyaal hai doosre miSra meN lafz bandagi ka ishaar kaafi hai ke dil aor maire darmyaan kyaa hai? jo jis ki bandagi kartaa hai ussi ko somajh lay
agar aise kar leeyaa jaa-aye to?
aaj dil ne ye mukhbari ki hai.
ye tajrubaa kiyaa thaa. agar miSraa ho aik shaair ne shaa'irii ki hai ito ye to bilkul aik 'aam se baat ho gayee. meN kabhi kabhi chess bhi khailtaa hooN. aik dost ne quote kiyaa "chess Puzzuls are poetry of chess" isi taraH aik buiding ko architect ki, kissi shehpaare ko kareegar ki aorkissi HaseeN tasswar ki ko muSSawar ki shairii kehnaa hi munaSib hona chahiaye :). ab aap jaise ahl e ilm log aitraaz karte haiN to meN majboor hooN tabdeel kar dooN ga. :)
is meN typ thaaa. khud ko aaghosh meN tiree paayaa - chaand ne jab bhee chaandni ki hai.
aap shayed pehlay miSra ki agar par ghor naheeN kar paa-aye.
agar waSl ki shab mire dil ne khuwaahis e tool teergi ki hai (toa) jaan e jaaN ham ne shab e furqat meN dil jalaa kar bhi roshni ki hai.
kya (toa) ko bhi sher ka HiSSa honaa laazmi hai?
ye sher to mairaa khyaal hai nikaal hi dainaaa chahiaye.
muzaffar bhai aap ki tajveez meN mafhoom bilkul badal gyaa hai. aor choon ke aap ne ishaara nahdeeN diyaa ke kiss wajaa se ye tabdeeli ki hai to meN bhi koi behtari laane se qaaSir hooN.
ji rehne diyaa. laikin agar kuch wajaa pataa chal jaati to meN mustaqbil meN bhi eHtiaaT kartaa.
ji :) doosra miSra ghalat ho gyaa. jis par mujhe bohat ta'aajub hai. meN ne ghalati ko ghalati hi istemaal ke fa'ilatun se shroo kiyaa thaa laikin khyaal na rhaa ke aik sabab khafeef zydaa ho gayaa hai. aap ki tajveez achhchhi hai. agar is meN chhoti se tabdeeli ki ijaazat deN.
Aadamee...................................
ye toa toheen aadamee ki hai.
is meN toheen aadmee ki hai.
. meN kyaa keh saktaa hooN siwaa-aye is ke
ham muzaffar kabhi jo bhatke toa,
aap ne khoob rahbari ki hai. .
Allah ta'aalaa aap ko khush rakhaye, oar haaN aap ne ye to batyayaa hi naheeN ke konse 5 sher rakhooN
khairandesh,
Muhamamd K. Siddiqui.
Salam o Adaab!
aap ka behad mamnoon hooN ke aap in is moHabbat oar tawaaja se mairi ghazal koi daikhaa. meN aap ke tamaam mashwaraa jaat ke leeaye behad shukrguzaar hooN. aap jaante hi haiN ke abhi shaairi shroo hi ki hai. pukhtagi aate aate kuch to waqt lagaa gaa.
1,
Zindagee bhar yeh naokaree kee hai
aap ke ghar kee chakaree kee hai!
naokaree aor chakaree donooN kaa aek hee mafhoom hai is liye she'er khaalee az lut^f reh geyaa hai. yaa shayad mujhe aesaa lagaa. aor muraad yeh lee jaa rahee hai keh ham ne aap ke ghar kee mulazmat kee hai. ya'nee ghar kaa kaam kaaj jaese mulazim karte haiN....... yeh she'er z^areefanah zeyadah behtar lage gaa. is liye ise ise Ghazal meN shamil nah keejiye aor mat^la' to waese bhee #2 she'er hai hee.
muzaffar SaHeb ye yaqeenun aik fan hai ke shaair jo kehnaa chaah rahaa hai paRhne waalaa bhi wohi samajhe. baaz auqaat aisaa naheeN hotaa. is meN yaqeenun do mumkinaat hote haiN. Shair woh baat keh naheeN paayaa. ya paRhne waalaa ussay samajh naheeN payaa. mujhe is sher meN aisaa lagaa rahaa hai ke meN ne apni baat bilkul theek ki hai. meN wazaaHat kartaa hooN phir aap bataa-iaye ga ke kyaa mafhoom adaa huwaa ke naheeN.
nokar ka lafaz kissi bhi malaazam ke leeaye aor chaakar ka lafz ghar ke malaazam ke leeaye istemaal hotaa hai. nokari ka taalluq kamaane se aor chaakri ke saath khidmat ke zahn meN aataa hai. aor likhne walaa kehnaa chahtaa hai ke meN ne saari umr jo kaam dhandaa kiyaa hai woh Sirf aap ki khidmat hai.
2,
ek Zaamane se dushmanee kee hai
aap se ham ne dostee kee hai!
ise aese keh kar dekheeN jab lafz^ :se: aae gaa to muraad ho gaa keh aap ne Zamanah se dushmanee kee hai. aor aap ne use dushman janaa hai. is liye lafz^ :ne: honaa chahiye. jaese keh neeche likh diyaa hai
ehl-e-dunyaa ne dushmanee kee hai
tark lekin nah dostee kee hai!
aap ne bilkul theek nuqtaa uThaaya hai. tajveez ke leeaye shukriyaa
3,
apnee manzil kee yooN sae'ee kee hai
"har qadam ham ne a'ashaqee kee hai" aek Surat yeh dekheeN.
laaj rakhkhee hai "Qaes" kee ham ne
"har qadam ham ne a'ashaqee hai"
hmm. isse bhi daikhnaa paRay ga
4,
i'shQ aesaa bhee naamuraad nah thaa
Husn walooN ne dushmanee kee hai
i'sq aesaa bhee naa muraad nah thaa Waah! Husn walooN kee kaj rawee yaa be rukhee Zeyadah a'aam hai. she'er dekheeN. dushmanee ko be rukhee kar ke dekheeN
to aek Surat yeh bhee ho saktee hai
i'shq ne naa muraad rehnaa thaa.
Husn walooN ne "be rukhee" kee hai
meN doosre miSra par zaroor ghor karooN ga.
5,
nah gaee teeragee mire ghar se
laakh suraj ne raoshanee kee hai
Kiyaa kehne! Waah!
shukriyaa.
6,
kab talak tarpe gaa tera bismil
baat bas aek do ghaRee kee hai.
is kee shustagee laazamee hai yeh dekheen.
taab laaeY gaa kab talak bismil
baat bas aek do ghaRee kee hai
ji shukriyaa.
7,
mere aor dil ke darmiyaaN hai jo
maiN ne us kee hee bandagee kee hai
is meN ibhaam hai...keh darmiyaan kiyaa hai.? yeh dekheeN
teraa paekar banaa liyaa dil meN
Sirf teree hee bandagee kee hai
is sher par meN koi compromise naheeN kar saktaa . kyooN ke ye khaaliStan maire leeaye hai. mairaa khyaal hai doosre miSra meN lafz bandagi ka ishaar kaafi hai ke dil aor maire darmyaan kyaa hai? jo jis ki bandagi kartaa hai ussi ko somajh lay
8,
ho geyaa shaoQ Sabr par Hawee
dil ne aakhir yeh mukhbaree kee hai
Kiyaa kehne! WaahWaah
miSra'-e-cani meN aakhir kaa koee mafhoom ada naheeN ho raha. so
ho geyaa shaoq Sabr par Hawee
meree dil ne yeh mukhbaree kee hai
agar aise kar leeyaa jaa-aye to?
aaj dil ne ye mukhbari ki hai.
9,
Husn-e-JanaaN HaseeN Ghazal Thehra
ek muSawwir ne shaae'ree kee hai
muSawwir muSawwaree kartaa hai. shaae'iree naheeN....is liye ise yooN keh sakte haiN.
"aek shaae'ir ne shaae'iree kee hai"
ye tajrubaa kiyaa thaa. agar miSraa ho aik shaair ne shaa'irii ki hai ito ye to bilkul aik 'aam se baat ho gayee. meN kabhi kabhi chess bhi khailtaa hooN. aik dost ne quote kiyaa "chess Puzzuls are poetry of chess" isi taraH aik buiding ko architect ki, kissi shehpaare ko kareegar ki aorkissi HaseeN tasswar ki ko muSSawar ki shairii kehnaa hi munaSib hona chahiaye :). ab aap jaise ahl e ilm log aitraaz karte haiN to meN majboor hooN tabdeel kar dooN ga. :)
10,
khud ko aaGhaosh meN tiree paa kar
Chaand ne jab bhee chaandni kee hai.
yeh ma^moon ulajh geyaa hai.
ise dobarah dekh leeN.
is meN typ thaaa. khud ko aaghosh meN tiree paayaa - chaand ne jab bhee chaandni ki hai.
11,
(Q)
waSl kee shab agar mire dil ne
khuwaahish-e-t^ool-e-teeragee kee hai
shab-e-furqat meN ham ne jaan-e-jaaN
dil jala ke bhee raoshanee kee hai
donooN she'rooN meN taZ^aad hai. pehle she'er meN "khuwahish-e-t^ool-e-teeragee" hai. aor neche "dil jala kar bhee raoshanee kee hai" ya'nee upar dil tareekee maangtaa hai. aor neche ke she'er meN dil jala kar aor woh bhee shab-e-furqat meN raoshanee kee jaa rahee hai. HaalaNkeh upar ke she'er meN to waSl ho geyaa hai. lekin neche ke she'er meN shab-e-furqat kaesee? yeh qit^a'ah dobarah kehnaa ho gaa. yeh taZ^aad khatam karnaa Had darajah Z^aruree hai.
aap shayed pehlay miSra ki agar par ghor naheeN kar paa-aye.
agar waSl ki shab mire dil ne khuwaahis e tool teergi ki hai (toa) jaan e jaaN ham ne shab e furqat meN dil jalaa kar bhi roshni ki hai.
kya (toa) ko bhi sher ka HiSSa honaa laazmi hai?
12,
be rukhee bhee ada bataee hai
aap ne jab bhee be rukhee kee hai
yeh Surat dekheeN
be rukhee ko bhee ham ada samjhe
aap ne jab bhee be rukhee kee hai
ye sher to mairaa khyaal hai nikaal hi dainaaa chahiaye.
13,
sooch kar thaamiye gaa haath mira
phir nah kahiye gaa dil lagee kee hai
yeh Surat dekheeN
thaam looN haath aap kaa lekin
aap ne sab se dil lagee kee hai
muzaffar bhai aap ki tajveez meN mafhoom bilkul badal gyaa hai. aor choon ke aap ne ishaara nahdeeN diyaa ke kiss wajaa se ye tabdeeli ki hai to meN bhi koi behtari laane se qaaSir hooN.
15,
ab hai ikhlaaS Gumshudah motee
====================
yeh she'er bhee rehneeN deeN.
ji rehne diyaa. laikin agar kuch wajaa pataa chal jaati to meN mustaqbil meN bhi eHtiaaT kartaa.
16,
Aadamee Aadamee ka dushman hai
Ghalat^ee is meN Aadamee kee hai
Waah Waah!
lekin dusraa miSra' beHer meN nah aasakaa. daraSl :Ghalat^ee: ko :Ghalt^ee: likh diyaa geyaa hai.
yeh dekheeN
Aadamee Aadamee ka dushman hai
yeh bhee taoheen Aadamee kee hai
ji :) doosra miSra ghalat ho gyaa. jis par mujhe bohat ta'aajub hai. meN ne ghalati ko ghalati hi istemaal ke fa'ilatun se shroo kiyaa thaa laikin khyaal na rhaa ke aik sabab khafeef zydaa ho gayaa hai. aap ki tajveez achhchhi hai. agar is meN chhoti se tabdeeli ki ijaazat deN.
Aadamee...................................
ye toa toheen aadamee ki hai.
is meN toheen aadmee ki hai.
17,
A'alam-e-lut^f-o-kaef-o-mastee hai
u'mr bhar jaese maekashee kee hai
yeh a'alam kiyooN hai?
yooN kar ke dekheeN.
teree naz^rooN ke jaam kiyaa Kehne!
u'mr bhar ham ne maekashee kee hai
18,
ham Guzar aaeY daor-e-weHshat se
ham ne bhar poor ZindaGee kee hai
Bohot khoob Waah Waah!
a'ql do Gaam nah chalee lekin
shukr ke dil ne rehbaree kee hai
shukr hai==============!
Bohot khoob Waah Waah!
ye sher qitta ka HiSSa hay. ye aalam kyooN hai. is ki wazahat aagye hoti hai. ham guzar aaye dore wahshat se kyaa ye sabab kaafi naheeN lutf o kae o mastee ke leeaye?
aakhir sher ke doosre miSra meN agar ke ko badal kar hai lagaa diyaa jaa-aye to miSra meN do hai ho jaatay haiN. kyaa woh achhchhaa taacur ho ga?
Khush raheeN
FaiZ^ kee is zameen meN "Khawar"
Aap ne khoob shae'iree kee hai!
. meN kyaa keh saktaa hooN siwaa-aye is ke
ham muzaffar kabhi jo bhatke toa,
aap ne khoob rahbari ki hai. .
Allah ta'aalaa aap ko khush rakhaye, oar haaN aap ne ye to batyayaa hi naheeN ke konse 5 sher rakhooN
khairandesh,
Muhamamd K. Siddiqui.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
- haamidbaaqri
- -
- Posts: 567
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:50 am
- Location: bangalore, india 00-91-9341253797
- Contact:
Re: shukr ke dil ne rahbari ki hai. - Muhammad K. Siddqui
mohtaram mohammed khaawar saahibmuhammad_19k wrote:'azeez dosto,
leejiaye mujhe mubaarakbaad dijiaye. daikhiaye kaisaa kama huwaa ke meN aik hi haftay meN doosri ghazal keh Daali. meN abhi tak khud bhi Heeran hooN ;). aor sonay par suHaagaa ye ke meN jo aik ghazal meN 6 ya 7 ashaar likhne ke baad haftoN sochne par bhi koi nayaa sher na keh pataa thaa aap ki khidmat meN 19 ashaar ki ghazal paish kar rahaa hooN. 8). (muzaffar SaHeb ;))
ji is meN koi shaq nahi ke ashaar ki ta'adaad ghazal ka ma'yaar qaraar naheeN paataa. laikin meN ye tamaa ashaar aap ki khidmat meN is leeaye paish kar rahaa hooN ke aap mairi madad kareN.
1. konsa sher ya qitaa' aap ko pasand aayaa?
2. agar mujhe is sher meN sirf 5 ashaar ( bashamool qit'aat ) rakhne hoN to konsay 5 ashaar rakhooN.
3. kon kon se ash'aar oar qit'aat is ghazal meN se ba'aasani nikaalay ja sakte haiN.
4. agar aap kisi sh'er par koi tajveez dainaa chaah raheN hoN toa meN shukrguzaar hooN ga
aap sub ki raa-aye ka muntazir oar shukrguzaar,
Regards,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
masha allah kya kehnay
bahut saaray sher kehdaalay haiN aapnay.
muzaffar bhai saahib kay tabcray kay baad hamaara kuch kehna theek nahiN hai.
aapki is behtareen kaushish per hum aapkau dilee daad aur mubaarakbaad detay haiN :rose .
allah(sbhnwt)karay zoray qalam aur ziyaadah
mukhlis
haamidbaaqari
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
- muhammad_19k
- -
- Posts: 540
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- Location: Lahore
- Contact:
Re: shukr ke dil ne rahbari ki hai. - Muhammad K. Siddqui
mohtaram janab HAMID BAAQRI SaHeb,haamidbaaqri wrote:mohtaram mohammed khaawar saahibmuhammad_19k wrote:'azeez dosto,
leejiaye mujhe mubaarakbaad dijiaye. daikhiaye kaisaa kama huwaa ke meN aik hi haftay meN doosri ghazal keh Daali. meN abhi tak khud bhi Heeran hooN ;). aor sonay par suHaagaa ye ke meN jo aik ghazal meN 6 ya 7 ashaar likhne ke baad haftoN sochne par bhi koi nayaa sher na keh pataa thaa aap ki khidmat meN 19 ashaar ki ghazal paish kar rahaa hooN. 8). (muzaffar SaHeb ;))
ji is meN koi shaq nahi ke ashaar ki ta'adaad ghazal ka ma'yaar qaraar naheeN paataa. laikin meN ye tamaa ashaar aap ki khidmat meN is leeaye paish kar rahaa hooN ke aap mairi madad kareN.
1. konsa sher ya qitaa' aap ko pasand aayaa?
2. agar mujhe is sher meN sirf 5 ashaar ( bashamool qit'aat ) rakhne hoN to konsay 5 ashaar rakhooN.
3. kon kon se ash'aar oar qit'aat is ghazal meN se ba'aasani nikaalay ja sakte haiN.
4. agar aap kisi sh'er par koi tajveez dainaa chaah raheN hoN toa meN shukrguzaar hooN ga
aap sub ki raa-aye ka muntazir oar shukrguzaar,
Regards,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
masha allah kya kehnay
bahut saaray sher kehdaalay haiN aapnay.
muzaffar bhai saahib kay tabcray kay baad hamaara kuch kehna theek nahiN hai.
aapki is behtareen kaushish per hum aapkau dilee daad aur mubaarakbaad detay haiN :rose .
allah(sbhnwt)karay zoray qalam aur ziyaadah
mukhlis
haamidbaaqari
dua, daad oar mubaarak baad ke leeaye shukiryaa qubool kijiaye. aap theek farmatey haiN ke muzaffar SaHeb ne kaafi mafaSSal tabSiraa kiyaa hai. laikin phir bhi aap kam az apni pasand ke kuch ashaar to nikaal hi sakte thay. kaheeN aisa to naheeN ke aap ko koi sher bhi......................... ohh phir theek hai.
Har Haal meN aap ka shukrguzaar,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
- haamidbaaqri
- -
- Posts: 567
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:50 am
- Location: bangalore, india 00-91-9341253797
- Contact:
mohtaram janab HAMID BAAQRI SaHeb,
jee boliye......mohtaram mohammed khawar saahib
dua, daad oar mubaarak baad ke leeaye shukiryaa qubool kijiaye.
ezzat afzaayee ka bahut bahut shukriya.
aap theek farmatey haiN ke muzaffar SaHeb ne kaafi mafaSSal tabSiraa kiyaa hai. laikin phir bhi aap kam az apni pasand ke kuch ashaar to nikaal hi sakte thay.
jee aap theek farmaatay haiN.APNI IS KOTAAHI PER HUM AAPSAY MUAAZIRAT CHAAHTAY HAIn.
kaheeN aisa to naheeN ke aap ko koi sher bhi......................... ohh phir theek hai.
khawar saahib ...dar asl us din hum jaldi meiN thay ......aaj bhi jaldi meiN haiN.kisee din fursat meiN tafseeli guftagu haugee.insha allah.waisay hum kalaam ghaour say padhtay haiN pasand aaye tau hi daad detay haiN.
Har Haal meN aap ka shukrguzaar,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
_________________
MUKHLIS
HAAMIDBAAQARI
jee boliye......mohtaram mohammed khawar saahib
dua, daad oar mubaarak baad ke leeaye shukiryaa qubool kijiaye.
ezzat afzaayee ka bahut bahut shukriya.
aap theek farmatey haiN ke muzaffar SaHeb ne kaafi mafaSSal tabSiraa kiyaa hai. laikin phir bhi aap kam az apni pasand ke kuch ashaar to nikaal hi sakte thay.
jee aap theek farmaatay haiN.APNI IS KOTAAHI PER HUM AAPSAY MUAAZIRAT CHAAHTAY HAIn.
kaheeN aisa to naheeN ke aap ko koi sher bhi......................... ohh phir theek hai.
khawar saahib ...dar asl us din hum jaldi meiN thay ......aaj bhi jaldi meiN haiN.kisee din fursat meiN tafseeli guftagu haugee.insha allah.waisay hum kalaam ghaour say padhtay haiN pasand aaye tau hi daad detay haiN.
Har Haal meN aap ka shukrguzaar,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
_________________
MUKHLIS
HAAMIDBAAQARI
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
- haamidbaaqri
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- Posts: 567
- Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:50 am
- Location: bangalore, india 00-91-9341253797
- Contact:
mohtaram janab HAMID BAAQRI SaHeb,
jee boliye......mohtaram mohammed khawar saahib
dua, daad oar mubaarak baad ke leeaye shukiryaa qubool kijiaye.
ezzat afzaayee ka bahut bahut shukriya.
aap theek farmatey haiN ke muzaffar SaHeb ne kaafi mafaSSal tabSiraa kiyaa hai. laikin phir bhi aap kam az apni pasand ke kuch ashaar to nikaal hi sakte thay.
jee aap theek farmaatay haiN.APNI IS KOTAAHI PER HUM AAPSAY MUAAZIRAT CHAAHTAY HAIn.
kaheeN aisa to naheeN ke aap ko koi sher bhi......................... ohh phir theek hai.
khawar saahib ...dar asl us din hum jaldi meiN thay ......aaj bhi jaldi meiN haiN.kisee din fursat meiN tafseeli guftagu haugee.insha allah.waisay hum kalaam ghaour say padhtay haiN pasand aaye tau hi daad detay haiN.
Har Haal meN aap ka shukrguzaar,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
_________________
MUKHLIS
HAAMIDBAAQARI
jee boliye......mohtaram mohammed khawar saahib
dua, daad oar mubaarak baad ke leeaye shukiryaa qubool kijiaye.
ezzat afzaayee ka bahut bahut shukriya.
aap theek farmatey haiN ke muzaffar SaHeb ne kaafi mafaSSal tabSiraa kiyaa hai. laikin phir bhi aap kam az apni pasand ke kuch ashaar to nikaal hi sakte thay.
jee aap theek farmaatay haiN.APNI IS KOTAAHI PER HUM AAPSAY MUAAZIRAT CHAAHTAY HAIn.
kaheeN aisa to naheeN ke aap ko koi sher bhi......................... ohh phir theek hai.
khawar saahib ...dar asl us din hum jaldi meiN thay ......aaj bhi jaldi meiN haiN.kisee din fursat meiN tafseeli guftagu haugee.insha allah.waisay hum kalaam ghaour say padhtay haiN pasand aaye tau hi daad detay haiN.
Har Haal meN aap ka shukrguzaar,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
_________________
MUKHLIS
HAAMIDBAAQARI
mai.n to karta nahi.n kuch aur ebaadat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa
paas mere nahi.n kuch aur mohabbat ke siwa