naz^m: Ek Sawaal!
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naz^m: Ek Sawaal!
yaaraan-e-meHfil: aadaab!
kaafee muddat ke ba'd HaaZ^ir-e-Khidmat ho rahaa hooN aur apne saath` ek naz^m laayaa hooN. naz^m maiN bohat kam kehtaa hooN aur jab koyee naz^m hotee hai to u'mooma" kisee KhaaS jaZbeh yaa Haadiceh ke acar ke teHt hotee hai. zer-e-naz^ar peshkash bh'ee ek aise hee lamHeh kee yaadgaar hai. dekh`iYe aap ko kaisee lagtee hai. mujh` ko aap kee raaYe kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. shukriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
======================
EK SAWAAL:
miree Habeeb, miree ham-nasheeN, miree ham-raaz!
miree Ghazal kee adaa, mere she'r kaa andaaz!
miraa qaraar, miraa karb, meraa soz-o-saaz!
miree talaash kaa anjaam! dard kaa aaGhaaz!
too aayee hai to dil-e-naa-Suboor bh`ar aayaa
safar tamaam huwaa, aas kaa nagar aayaa
na jaane kitnee hee choaToN kaa dard ubh`ar aayaa
maiN jaise SubH kaa bh`oolaa th`aa, shaam gh`ar aayaa!
maiN dekh`taa hooN tujh`e to Khayaal aataa hai
dil-e-shikastah meN reh reh sawaal aataa hai!
maiN kyaa hooN? kaun hooN? aur kis jagah se aayaa hooN?
yaqeen hooN keh gumaaN hooN? keh ek saayah hooN?
kabh`ee maiN sab se hooN posheedah aur kabh`ee z^aahir!
mujh`e talaash hai apnee, maiN kaun hooN aaKhir?
************** ***************
kisee kaa sajdah-e-ulfat, kisee kaa dast-e-dua'a?
kisee Ghareeb kee kuTiyaa kaa Tim-Timaataa diyaa?
kisee kee Hasrat-e-gum-gashtah aur kisee kee umeed?
kisee kee chashm-e-muHabbat, kisee kaa shauq-e-deed?
kisee naSeeb kaa patth`ar yaa ik dil-e-majboor?
kisee kee aaNkh` kaa taaraa, kisee ke dil kaa suroor?
kisee kaa GhuSSah, kisee kee wafaa, kisee kaa pyaar?
kisee kee aaNkh` kaa aaNsoo, kisee kee pyaar kee maar?
voh raag jis ko mayassar na aa sakaa ik saaz?
voh cheeKh jis ko milee hee naheeN kabh`ee aawaaz?
voh dil jo har nayee ummeed paa ke TooT gayaa?
naSeeb voh jo badalne se pehle ph`ooT gayaa?
voh saath` jo sar-e-manzil kabh`ee kaa ch`ooT gayaa?
voh ek dard jo saaraa vujood looT gayaa?
haree voh haath` kee chooRee, voh maaNg kaa sindoor?
voh Khwaab Khwaab badan pyaar ke nashe meN choor?
voh raNg champayee jo rooH ko jalaataa hai?
voh haath` chhoo ke jise dil ko chain aataa hai?
voh jis meN saare zamaane kaa dard ho goyaa?
voh pyaar se bh`are seene meN dil dh`aRaktaa huwaa?
kalee se hoNT voh naazuk, voh garmee-e-ruKhsaar?
vujood saaraa ho jaise sharaab se sarshaar!
voh Khoon Khoon gul-e-tar, hawaa voh mehkee huyee?
Haseen ph`ool par baiTh`ee huyee Haseen titlee?
Khudaa ke waaste mujh` ko bataa keh maiN kyaa hooN? =========================
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kaafee muddat ke ba'd HaaZ^ir-e-Khidmat ho rahaa hooN aur apne saath` ek naz^m laayaa hooN. naz^m maiN bohat kam kehtaa hooN aur jab koyee naz^m hotee hai to u'mooma" kisee KhaaS jaZbeh yaa Haadiceh ke acar ke teHt hotee hai. zer-e-naz^ar peshkash bh'ee ek aise hee lamHeh kee yaadgaar hai. dekh`iYe aap ko kaisee lagtee hai. mujh` ko aap kee raaYe kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. shukriyah!
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
======================
EK SAWAAL:
miree Habeeb, miree ham-nasheeN, miree ham-raaz!
miree Ghazal kee adaa, mere she'r kaa andaaz!
miraa qaraar, miraa karb, meraa soz-o-saaz!
miree talaash kaa anjaam! dard kaa aaGhaaz!
too aayee hai to dil-e-naa-Suboor bh`ar aayaa
safar tamaam huwaa, aas kaa nagar aayaa
na jaane kitnee hee choaToN kaa dard ubh`ar aayaa
maiN jaise SubH kaa bh`oolaa th`aa, shaam gh`ar aayaa!
maiN dekh`taa hooN tujh`e to Khayaal aataa hai
dil-e-shikastah meN reh reh sawaal aataa hai!
maiN kyaa hooN? kaun hooN? aur kis jagah se aayaa hooN?
yaqeen hooN keh gumaaN hooN? keh ek saayah hooN?
kabh`ee maiN sab se hooN posheedah aur kabh`ee z^aahir!
mujh`e talaash hai apnee, maiN kaun hooN aaKhir?
************** ***************
kisee kaa sajdah-e-ulfat, kisee kaa dast-e-dua'a?
kisee Ghareeb kee kuTiyaa kaa Tim-Timaataa diyaa?
kisee kee Hasrat-e-gum-gashtah aur kisee kee umeed?
kisee kee chashm-e-muHabbat, kisee kaa shauq-e-deed?
kisee naSeeb kaa patth`ar yaa ik dil-e-majboor?
kisee kee aaNkh` kaa taaraa, kisee ke dil kaa suroor?
kisee kaa GhuSSah, kisee kee wafaa, kisee kaa pyaar?
kisee kee aaNkh` kaa aaNsoo, kisee kee pyaar kee maar?
voh raag jis ko mayassar na aa sakaa ik saaz?
voh cheeKh jis ko milee hee naheeN kabh`ee aawaaz?
voh dil jo har nayee ummeed paa ke TooT gayaa?
naSeeb voh jo badalne se pehle ph`ooT gayaa?
voh saath` jo sar-e-manzil kabh`ee kaa ch`ooT gayaa?
voh ek dard jo saaraa vujood looT gayaa?
haree voh haath` kee chooRee, voh maaNg kaa sindoor?
voh Khwaab Khwaab badan pyaar ke nashe meN choor?
voh raNg champayee jo rooH ko jalaataa hai?
voh haath` chhoo ke jise dil ko chain aataa hai?
voh jis meN saare zamaane kaa dard ho goyaa?
voh pyaar se bh`are seene meN dil dh`aRaktaa huwaa?
kalee se hoNT voh naazuk, voh garmee-e-ruKhsaar?
vujood saaraa ho jaise sharaab se sarshaar!
voh Khoon Khoon gul-e-tar, hawaa voh mehkee huyee?
Haseen ph`ool par baiTh`ee huyee Haseen titlee?
Khudaa ke waaste mujh` ko bataa keh maiN kyaa hooN? =========================
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Last edited by Sarwar A. Raz on Mon Mar 14, 2005 12:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Re: naz^m: Ek Sawaal!
moHtaram janaab Sarwar saahab,
aadaab,
idhar aap buhat din se nazar naheeN aa rahe haiN, umeed hai ke sab khairiyat ho gee.
aap kee ye nazm paRhee aur paRh kar aisaa meHsoos huvaa ke jaisey isey pahle bhee paRh rakhaa ho, ho saktaa hai ke kuch arsa' qabl isey urdustan par paRhaa hao,
bahar.kaif, aap kee jaanib se kam kam hee nazm paRhne ko miltee hai aur ye nazm jo "aik haseen lamhe kee yaad meN" aap ne kahee hai, mujhe buhat pasaNd aayee hai, aap ne apne dil ke shubhaat aur shukook dil khol kar pooche haiN :)
iss khobsoorat nazm par meree haqeer see daad paish.e.khidmat hai.
mukhliS
Naheed
aadaab,
idhar aap buhat din se nazar naheeN aa rahe haiN, umeed hai ke sab khairiyat ho gee.
aap kee ye nazm paRhee aur paRh kar aisaa meHsoos huvaa ke jaisey isey pahle bhee paRh rakhaa ho, ho saktaa hai ke kuch arsa' qabl isey urdustan par paRhaa hao,
bahar.kaif, aap kee jaanib se kam kam hee nazm paRhne ko miltee hai aur ye nazm jo "aik haseen lamhe kee yaad meN" aap ne kahee hai, mujhe buhat pasaNd aayee hai, aap ne apne dil ke shubhaat aur shukook dil khol kar pooche haiN :)
iss khobsoorat nazm par meree haqeer see daad paish.e.khidmat hai.
mukhliS
Naheed
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Naheed SaaHebah:aadaab!
daad kaa shukriyah. aap kaa Khayaal SaHeeH hai keh yeh naz^m Urdustan par dee jaa chukee hai. ab aur bohat see meHfileN kh`ul gayee haiN aur naYe naYe log bh`ee aa gaYe haiN. maiN ne sochaa keh woh bh`ee agar naz^m dekh` leN to buraa nah ho gaa.
reh gayaa meraa kam aanaa to aisaa to naheeN hai. haaN is bazm meN aanaa kam kam hee hotaa hai. aur jagah maSroofiyaat bohat ho gayee haiN aur ph`ir maiN apne web site kee aabyaaree meN lagaa huwaa hooN keh us ko jald az jald sab ke saamne pesh karne ke qaabil banaa sakooN.
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
daad kaa shukriyah. aap kaa Khayaal SaHeeH hai keh yeh naz^m Urdustan par dee jaa chukee hai. ab aur bohat see meHfileN kh`ul gayee haiN aur naYe naYe log bh`ee aa gaYe haiN. maiN ne sochaa keh woh bh`ee agar naz^m dekh` leN to buraa nah ho gaa.
reh gayaa meraa kam aanaa to aisaa to naheeN hai. haaN is bazm meN aanaa kam kam hee hotaa hai. aur jagah maSroofiyaat bohat ho gayee haiN aur ph`ir maiN apne web site kee aabyaaree meN lagaa huwaa hooN keh us ko jald az jald sab ke saamne pesh karne ke qaabil banaa sakooN.
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Mohtaram Sarwar Raz Sah'b, tasleemat
Nihayat haseen nazm se nawaza hai aap ne. Samajh meN nahiN aata keh zuban kee tAAref karooN ya bayan ki, ya donoN ki. Nazm ki sub se baRee Khubi yAAni tasalsul tamam nazm meN barqarar hai. Meri janib se dili mubarakbaad aur daad.o.tahseen qubool farmaiyega.
Apne ilm meN izafe ki gharaz se, sirf ek sawal aapki Nazm ke hawale se poochna chaahta hooN, magar wazeh rahe yeh sirf sawal hai e'traz nahiN. Aap ne jis andaz meN nazm ka aGhaz kiya tha yeh ek :musaddas: lagtee thee magar aage chalkar kuch :bund: aise bhi aaye jin meN :bait: na thee. Aur aage chalkar dekha keh wahaN sirf :matley: thay bund na thay. Mere ilm meN izafa hoga agar aap batayeN keh qawaneen-e shaiyree ke hisab se yeh kiss qism ki nazm hai?. Kya aisee nazm ko :geet: ka naam diya ja sakta hai?
Muntazar-e jawab,
Apka Mukhlis,
Jawaid
Nihayat haseen nazm se nawaza hai aap ne. Samajh meN nahiN aata keh zuban kee tAAref karooN ya bayan ki, ya donoN ki. Nazm ki sub se baRee Khubi yAAni tasalsul tamam nazm meN barqarar hai. Meri janib se dili mubarakbaad aur daad.o.tahseen qubool farmaiyega.
Apne ilm meN izafe ki gharaz se, sirf ek sawal aapki Nazm ke hawale se poochna chaahta hooN, magar wazeh rahe yeh sirf sawal hai e'traz nahiN. Aap ne jis andaz meN nazm ka aGhaz kiya tha yeh ek :musaddas: lagtee thee magar aage chalkar kuch :bund: aise bhi aaye jin meN :bait: na thee. Aur aage chalkar dekha keh wahaN sirf :matley: thay bund na thay. Mere ilm meN izafa hoga agar aap batayeN keh qawaneen-e shaiyree ke hisab se yeh kiss qism ki nazm hai?. Kya aisee nazm ko :geet: ka naam diya ja sakta hai?
Muntazar-e jawab,
Apka Mukhlis,
Jawaid
- khozema husaini
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moHtaram janab-e-Sarwar Alam Sarwar SaaHeb:
Aadaab-o-tasleemat,
aap kee yeh nazm bilshubaa ek munfarid rang liye hoove hai. go ke meN ise kal hee paRh chuki thee lekin slow browsing ke sabab apnee aaraa likhne se meHroom rahi.
zaat kee pechaan ka yeh sawal go ke naya naheiN hai lekin lafzooN ke peeche poosheeda eHsaas-e-taRap ne poori nazm ko zehn-o-dil meN jazb kar diyaa hai. har ek misrah apne hee dil kee aawaaz meHsoos hotee hai.
meree janib se ek bohat hee khoobsoorat nazm pesh karne par dilee daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.
talib-e-dua
Zahida Raees :Raji:
Aadaab-o-tasleemat,
aap kee yeh nazm bilshubaa ek munfarid rang liye hoove hai. go ke meN ise kal hee paRh chuki thee lekin slow browsing ke sabab apnee aaraa likhne se meHroom rahi.
zaat kee pechaan ka yeh sawal go ke naya naheiN hai lekin lafzooN ke peeche poosheeda eHsaas-e-taRap ne poori nazm ko zehn-o-dil meN jazb kar diyaa hai. har ek misrah apne hee dil kee aawaaz meHsoos hotee hai.
meree janib se ek bohat hee khoobsoorat nazm pesh karne par dilee daad aur mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.
talib-e-dua
Zahida Raees :Raji:
Meree sha'iree se mujhe jaan Lo
ke yeh aa'enaa hai meri zaat ka
(Raji)
ke yeh aa'enaa hai meri zaat ka
(Raji)
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mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb:aadaab!
sab se pehle to aap kee daad kaa shukriyah mujh` par farZ^ hai. so HaaZ^ir hai!
aap sawaal aur tanqeed donoN kar sakte haiN. is meN bh`alaa kisee ko kyaa e'tiraaZ^ ho saktaa hai? bal.k maiN to is kaa Khair-maqdam kartaa hooN.
naz^m ke qawaaneen usee taraH munZ^abit^ naheeN haiN jaise doosree aSnaaf ke haiN. paaband naz^m meN radeef, qawaafee, wazn aur beHr neez tasalsul-e-maZ^moon to honaa Z^arooree hai. is ke i'laavah koyee aur shartY naheeN hai. maiN ne kayee baar sochaa keh naz^m par maZ^moon likh` kar us ke andaaz aur hai,at kee nudrat aur tanavvo' ko z^aahir karooN lekin beshtar log aise maZ^aameen naheeN paRhte haiN. aaj kal aSnaaf-e-suKhan par maZ^aameen kaa jo silsilah likh` rahaa hooN us kee paZeeraayee se maiN kuch` dil-bardaashtah hooN aur aa,indah aise maZ^aameen likh`ne meN muHtaat^ rahooN gaa.
waise itnaa keh saktaa hooN keh meree yeh naz^m geet hargiz naheeN hai!
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
sab se pehle to aap kee daad kaa shukriyah mujh` par farZ^ hai. so HaaZ^ir hai!
aap sawaal aur tanqeed donoN kar sakte haiN. is meN bh`alaa kisee ko kyaa e'tiraaZ^ ho saktaa hai? bal.k maiN to is kaa Khair-maqdam kartaa hooN.
naz^m ke qawaaneen usee taraH munZ^abit^ naheeN haiN jaise doosree aSnaaf ke haiN. paaband naz^m meN radeef, qawaafee, wazn aur beHr neez tasalsul-e-maZ^moon to honaa Z^arooree hai. is ke i'laavah koyee aur shartY naheeN hai. maiN ne kayee baar sochaa keh naz^m par maZ^moon likh` kar us ke andaaz aur hai,at kee nudrat aur tanavvo' ko z^aahir karooN lekin beshtar log aise maZ^aameen naheeN paRhte haiN. aaj kal aSnaaf-e-suKhan par maZ^aameen kaa jo silsilah likh` rahaa hooN us kee paZeeraayee se maiN kuch` dil-bardaashtah hooN aur aa,indah aise maZ^aameen likh`ne meN muHtaat^ rahooN gaa.
waise itnaa keh saktaa hooN keh meree yeh naz^m geet hargiz naheeN hai!
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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- Posts: 518
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
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