Guzaarish 32 : Munir Armaan Nasimi

[munir-armaan-nasimi]

Pyare Dosto,

Alla'ma Iqbal Saaheb ki ye ghazal mujhe bahut pasand hai. Ye misra "Meri Saadgi dekh kya chaahta hoon" ab diya gaya hai magar chand saal pahle main ne iss misre pe "tarhi ghazal" kahi thee magar aaj tak apne Ustaad-e-Mohtaram ko dikhaane ki himmat nahin kar paya hoon ke kuch ek sher unke mizaaj ke khilaaf hain magar mere 'andaz-e-sukhan' ke mutaabiq.

Aaj bahut naayab mauqa mila hai. Main apni wahi Ghazal post kar raha hoon aur aap logon se guzaarish hai ke islah se nawaazien, meherbaani hogi.

Aap ka apna,

Munir Armaan Nasimi

[Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar]

moHtaram Biradaram Muneer Armaan Naseemi SaaHib

aadaab-o-tasleemaat! :rose

A'llamah Iqbal marHoom ke miSra' par aap kee chand saal puranee Ghazal dekhee. do aek muqamaat ke i'lawah tamaam asha'aar wazan aor beHer meN haiN. Ghazal chunkeh nao mashqee kee hai. is Hawalah se aesee do aek batooN kaa paedah ho jana fit^ree hai. deegar asha'aar meN aap kaa wohee munfarid usloob-e-she'er dikhaaee detaa hai. Saaf shaffaaf chachmooN kee manad paakeezah kheyalaat kaa yeh HaseeN paekar bila shubah qaabil-e-ta'reef hai.

maiN aap kee mushae'rah meN shirkat ke liye aap kaa shukrGuzaar hooN. mujhe ummeed hai keh aap aae'indah bhee isee tarH mushae'rah meN tashreef late raheeN ge. meree janib se is khubSurat takhleeq par dilee mubarak baad aor daad qubool keejiye.

Wassalam
Muzaffar A Muzaffar

[jawaid badauni]

Pyare Dosto,

Alla'ma Iqbal Saaheb ki ye ghazal mujhe bahut pasand hai. Ye misra "Meri Saadgi dekh kya chaahta hoon" ab diya gaya hai magar chand saal pahle main ne iss misre pe "tarhi ghazal" kahi thee magar aaj tak apne Ustaad-e-Mohtaram ko dikhaane ki himmat nahin kar paya hoon ke kuch ek sher unke mizaaj ke khilaaf hain magar mere 'andaz-e-sukhan' ke mutaabiq.

Aaj bahut naayab mauqa mila hai. Main apni wahi Ghazal post kar raha hoon aur aap logon se guzaarish hai ke islah se nawaazien, meherbaani hogi.

Aap ka apna,

Munir Armaan Nasimi

Azeezi Munir Arman Saaahab
Tasleemaat

Aapki Ghazal majmoii taur per achchee lagee. Meri janib se daad
qubool farmaaiye.

Mundarja zel miSre meN shayad aap "Main" ki jagah "aur" type kar
gaye hain jis se miSra bewazn ho gaya hai. Zara dekh lijiyega aur
zaroori samjheN tou "edit" se durust kar dijiyega.


aur GhazaloN meN rung.e juda chahata hooN




Khair andesh

Jawaid Badauni

[munir-armaan-nasimi]

Pyare Dosto,

Alla'ma Iqbal Saaheb ki ye ghazal mujhe bahut pasand hai. Ye misra "Meri Saadgi dekh kya chaahta hoon" ab diya gaya hai magar chand saal pahle main ne iss misre pe "tarhi ghazal" kahi thee magar aaj tak apne Ustaad-e-Mohtaram ko dikhaane ki himmat nahin kar paya hoon ke kuch ek sher unke mizaaj ke khilaaf hain magar mere 'andaz-e-sukhan' ke mutaabiq.

Aaj bahut naayab mauqa mila hai. Main apni wahi Ghazal post kar raha hoon aur aap logon se guzaarish hai ke islah se nawaazien, meherbaani hogi.

Aap ka apna,

Munir Armaan Nasimi

Azeezi Munir Arman Saaahab
Tasleemaat

Aapki Ghazal majmoii taur per achchee lagee. Meri janib se daad
qubool farmaaiye.

Mundarja zel miSre meN shayad aap "Main" ki jagah "aur" type kar
gaye hain jis se miSra bewazn ho gaya hai. Zara dekh lijiyega aur
zaroori samjheN tou "edit" se durust kar dijiyega.

aur GhazaloN meN rung.e juda chahata hooN

Khair andesh

Jawaid Badauni

Mohtaram Jawaid Bhai Saaheb,

Bilkul saheeh farma rahe hain aap.... mujhe hairat hai ke meri nazar kyon nahin gayi? Insha'allah main bahut jald durust kar ke do-bara post kar doonga.

Daad ke liye shukriya, magar mujhe aap se ye ummeed thi ke aap mere har sher ka "Post Mortem" jaroor karenge aur mujhe ehsaas ho jaayega ke main kahan ghalat hoon? Shaayad waqt ki kami ki wazah se aap ne aisa nahin kiya. Bahar-haal, mujhe yaqeen hai ke meri doosri ghazal pe aap ka mukammal tabsera jaroor milega.

Taalib-e-dua,

Armaan

[munir-armaan-nasimi]

moHtaram Biradaram Muneer Armaan Naseemi SaaHib

aadaab-o-tasleemaat! :rose

A'llamah Iqbal marHoom ke miSra' par aap kee chand saal puranee Ghazal dekhee. do aek muqamaat ke i'lawah tamaam asha'aar wazan aor beHer meN haiN. Ghazal chunkeh nao mashqee kee hai. is Hawalah se aesee do aek batooN kaa paedah ho jana fit^ree hai. deegar asha'aar meN aap kaa wohee munfarid usloob-e-she'er dikhaaee detaa hai. Saaf shaffaaf chachmooN kee manad paakeezah kheyalaat kaa yeh HaseeN paekar bila shubah qaabil-e-ta'reef hai.

maiN aap kee mushae'rah meN shirkat ke liye aap kaa shukrGuzaar hooN. mujhe ummeed hai keh aap aae'indah bhee isee tarH mushae'rah meN tashreef late raheeN ge. meree janib se is khubSurat takhleeq par dilee mubarak baad aor daad qubool keejiye.

Wassalam
Muzaffar A Muzaffar

Beradaram Muzaffar Saaheb,

Salam-o-Rehmat! Dil ke tamaam tar gehraayion se aap ka shukr guzaar hoon ke aap ne meri ghazal ko pasand kiya. Aapke Daad dene ka, hausla badhane ka Andaaz bhi sab se munfarid hai. Mujhe un do aek baaton ke baare main jara aur khul ke bata dete, islah farma dete to main........ Ghazal ko paak o saaf kar ke do-bara post kar deta.

Insha'Allah main koshish karoonga ke har mushaerah main shirkat karoon.

Khuda Haafiz

Aap ka bhai,

Munir Armaan

[muhammad_19k]

Muneer bhai

leejiaye aap ke hukm ke muTaabiq Haazir ho gyaa hooN.

maire leeaye aik mas'alla ye hai ke jab muzaffar SaHeb oar Jawaid SaHeb jaisi ilmi shakhsiat aap ki ghazal par apna mufaSal tabSira likh chukeY heN to meN kyaa likhooN? laikin aap ka hukm hey to likhna to paRe ga hi.


1. girah ka khyaal theek hai. maira khyaal hai ke aap muzaffar SaHeb ke farmane k b'aad vazn ki ghalati theek kar chuke heN.
2. bohat khoob!
3. kon Das leN bhai? kuch pataa naheeN chal rahaa. aor phir shafaa kesahtt ki aa-aye ga ya ka mujhe is ke baare meN bhi kuch bataaa-iaye?
4. ye aadam ki maaN heN ye Hawaa ki beti Hawa ki beti to aik maanoos tarkeeb hai. laikin Aadam ki maaN? ( meN jaantaa hooN ke aap aadam se baba aadam muraad naheeN lay rahay). aor buToN ka in se kyaa ta'lluq hai.
5. Ismamic nuqtaa nazar apni jagaa. laikin shaairi ke 'aitbaar se ye sher bohat achhchaa hai.
6. Jawaid SaHeb meN ka typo ki nishaandahi kar hi chuke heN.
7. yahaaN bhi mujeh haaN ki jagaa meN hi behtar lag rahaa hai. maqTa' bohat achchaa hai.

ibtadai dor ke leHaz se bilashubaa ye aik behtareen kyaa ghazal hai.

Regards,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.

[Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar]

moHtaram Biradaram Muneer Armaan Naseemi SaaHib

aadaab-o-tasleemaat! :rose

A'llamah Iqbal marHoom ke miSra' par aap kee chand saal puranee Ghazal dekhee. do aek muqamaat ke i'lawah tamaam asha'aar wazan aor beHer meN haiN. Ghazal chunkeh nao mashqee kee hai. is Hawalah se aesee do aek batooN kaa paedah ho jana fit^ree hai. deegar asha'aar meN aap kaa wohee munfarid usloob-e-she'er dikhaaee detaa hai. Saaf shaffaaf chachmooN kee manad paakeezah kheyalaat kaa yeh HaseeN paekar bila shubah qaabil-e-ta'reef hai.

maiN aap kee mushae'rah meN shirkat ke liye aap kaa shukrGuzaar hooN. mujhe ummeed hai keh aap aae'indah bhee isee tarH mushae'rah meN tashreef late raheeN ge. meree janib se is khubSurat takhleeq par dilee mubarak baad aor daad qubool keejiye.

Wassalam
Muzaffar A Muzaffar

Beradaram Muzaffar Saaheb,

Salam-o-Rehmat! Dil ke tamaam tar gehraayion se aap ka shukr guzaar hoon ke aap ne meri ghazal ko pasand kiya. Aapke Daad dene ka, hausla badhane ka Andaaz bhi sab se munfarid hai. Mujhe un do aek baaton ke baare main jara aur khul ke bata dete, islah farma dete to main........ Ghazal ko paak o saaf kar ke do-bara post kar deta.

Insha'Allah main koshish karoonga ke har mushaerah main shirkat karoon.

Khuda Haafiz

Aap ka bhai,

Munir Armaan

moHtarmee Naseem SaaHib aadaab!

Aap kee janib se jawaab-ul-jawaab milaa shikriyah!

aap ne do aek batooN kee nishaandahee kee janib isharah farmane ko likhaa hai. to maiN apnee ray se aagah kiye detaa hooN.

she'er#2 meN behtaree ho saktee hai. aor aap ne chunkeh mat^la' meN donooN qaafiye aese liye haiN jo "alif" par khatam ho rahe haiN. is liye ab laazim hai keh aap puree Ghazal meN alif wale qaafiye hee muntakhib kareeN. agar aap maqt^a' meN alif aor "heh" ke qaafiye lete to aap deegar she'erooN meN bhee "heh" wale qaafiye le sakte the. is Surat meN yeh qaae'de ke khilaaf taSawwur ho gaa. keh aap "Silah" bat^aor-e-qaafiyah baandheeN. aap is ke bajaae "jazaa" le sakte haiN. jo wohee mua'nee de raha hai. yooN kiyaa ja saktaa hai.

hai un kee jibillat meN go be wafaee
magar maiN wafaa kee jazaa chahataa hooN.

she'er#3 meN "neele badan kee" durust hai. aap ne "kaa" likhaa hai. jo typo ho saktee hai. is ke i'lawah Khawar SaaHib kee raY bhee qaabil-e-Ghaor hai.


jaesaa keh she'er#4 kaa miSra'-e-olaa "haiN" kee wajah se beHer meN nah aasakaa Ghaliba" is kee wajah typo ho saktee hai.
agar aap "haiN" Hadaf kar deeN to beHer meN aajae gaa. aor HaZ^rat Aadam maTTee se bane the. is liye un kee maaN kaa z^aahiree wujood naheeN hai. is liye maZ^moon meN behtaree kee mazeed Gunjaaish maojood hai.

she'er#5 kaa dusra miSra' beHer meN nah aasakaa. ise yooN keh kar dekheeN. "

GhareeboN kaa bhee ek khudaa chahataa hooN"

she'er#6 ke dusra miSra' meN Ghaleba" aap ne "maiN" kee jagah "aor" likhaa hai. jo typo hee ho saktee hai. jaesaa keh Janab jawaid SaaHib ne bhee farmayaa hai. is ke i'lawah tarkeeb "ranG-e-judaa" durust ma'loom naheeN hotee.

is ke i'lawah pehla miSra' meN lasz^ "meyree" ko "miree" kar deeN ya'nee baGhaer ye ke nuktooN ke. to beHer meN aajae gaa.

yeh bateeN aap ke Hukm kee ta'meel meN likhee haiN warnah maiN u'muma" aesa likhne kee himmat hee naheeN kar pataa. keh kisee kee bhee dil aazaree kaa sabab nah bane. aor kalam meN mucbat pehlu talaash kar ke us par likhtaa hooN.

khush raheeN
wassalam
Muzaffar

[munir-armaan-nasimi]

Dil aazaree????

Agar kisee kee dil aazaree hoti hai, to hone dein magar main aap se do-bara guzarish karta hoon ke.... aap meri ghazal pe be-dhadak kainchi, choori, talwaar, khanzar... jo chalana chaahein chalayein..... mujhe bilkul bhi dard nahin hoga, balki khushi hogi ke Ghazal saaf suthri ho gayi. Agar duniya ka har Doctor ye soch le ke main injection doonga to mareez ko dard hoga, main operation karoonga to mareez ka khoon niklega.... dard se tadpega to bechaara mareez..... ???? Kuch 'Dard' aise hote hain jo 'Be-dard' log dete hain aur kuch 'Dard' aise hote hain jo aap jaise "Hamdard" log dete hain..... us 'Dard' kii thes main jo mazaa hai.... ye sirf wahi samajh sakta hai jis ne Dard se Dillagi ki ho.

Main ne Ghazal ko aap ke, Jawaid bhai aur Khawar bhai saaheb ke 'suggestions' ke lihaaz se 'correct' kar diya hai... ek baar aur dekh lein ke.... kahin kuch choot to nahin gaya??

Behad shukr guzaar hoon ke aap ne islah ke qaabil samjha.

Aap ka bhai,

Armaan

[Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar]

Dil aazaree????

Agar kisee kee dil aazaree hoti hai, to hone dein magar main aap se do-bara guzarish karta hoon ke.... aap meri ghazal pe be-dhadak kainchi, choori, talwaar, khanzar... jo chalana chaahein chalayein..... mujhe bilkul bhi dard nahin hoga, balki khushi hogi ke Ghazal saaf suthri ho gayi. Agar duniya ka har Doctor ye soch le ke main injection doonga to mareez ko dard hoga, main operation karoonga to mareez ka khoon niklega.... dard se tadpega to bechaara mareez..... ???? Kuch 'Dard' aise hote hain jo 'Be-dard' log dete hain aur kuch 'Dard' aise hote hain jo aap jaise "Hamdard" log dete hain..... us 'Dard' kii thes main jo mazaa hai.... ye sirf wahi samajh sakta hai jis ne Dard se Dillagi ki ho.

Main ne Ghazal ko aap ke, Jawaid bhai aur Khawar bhai saaheb ke 'suggestions' ke lihaaz se 'correct' kar diya hai... ek baar aur dekh lein ke.... kahin kuch choot to nahin gaya??

Behad shukr guzaar hoon ke aap ne islah ke qaabil samjha.

Aap ka bhai,

Armaan

moHtaram Biradaram Armaan SaaHib aadaab! :rose

Aap aek purkhulooS aor shafeeq insaan haiN. aap kee batooN se muHabbat aor iradat kee khushbu aatee hai. maiN in jazbaat kee dil-o-jaan se qadr kartaa hooN. aor aap jaese dostooN kee meHfil meN maojoodagee ko iftekhaar kaa baae'ic samajhtaa hooN. aap kee shirkat aor biradarannah bartao dil ko baRee khushee detaa hai. Allah aap ko salamat rakhe. Aameen!

aap kee Ghazal kee nae'ee shakl bohot dilpaaZeer hai. daraSl har shakhS apne Zaawiyah-e-nigah se dekhtaa hai. mumkin hai keh aap yahee Ghazak do chaar dusre aadamiyooN ko dikhaeeN to woh chand aor bateeN kee t^araf aap ko tawajjah dilaaeeN. aor un ke ba'd kisee aor ko dikhaeeN to woh bhee do aek bateeN DhooND dikhae.....GharZ^ in chaopaooN kaa yeh baRaa faae'dah hai keh hameeN aese maoqe'emusassiy haiN keh ham dusre dostooN kee ray barah-e-rast le sakte haiN. aor baRee aasanee se hameeN aek yaa aek se zeyaadah qaarae'en kee ray mil jatee hai.

mujhe aap kee yeh Ghazal balkeh har Ghazal hee pasand aatee hai. chooTee mooTee bateeN to asaatezah ke haaN bhee Ghaer sha'aooree t^aor par nikal aatee haiN. daraSl jab shaae'ir takhleeq ke jaaN Gusal marHalah se Guzar rahaa hootaa hai to us waqt aek khaaS wajd aor kaef kee see Surat hotee hai. aor yeh kaef hee darHaqeeqat aa'laa aor me'aaree takhleeq ko janam detaa hai. alGharZ^ kaef-o-wajd meN insaan u'muma" bohot door bhee nikal jaataa hai. aor jab laoTTaa hai. to us ka daaman takhleeq ke phool hote haiN.

maiN jald hee apnee Ghazal aap kee khidmat meN pesh karne kee sa'adat HaaSil karooN gaa.

Wassalam
Muzaffar A Muzaffar

[zmufti]

ghareeboN ka bhee ik khuda chahta huuN

buhat khoob

[munir-armaan-nasimi]

ghareeboN ka bhee ik khuda chahta huuN

buhat khoob

Mohtarma Zarqa Mufti Saahiba,

Der hoyi... maazerat chaahta hoon, kuchh buzy tha. aap ko puri ghazal main sirf yahi ek misra pasand aaya.... shukriya.

Ummeed hai ke aaindah bhi apni aara se nawazengi.

Armaan