aada'b dosto.N aaj qaafee vaq^t baad yahaa.N aana hu_aa hai,Vaqt kee paabanddi kii vajah se likhane ka mauka nahee milta phir bhi apne jazbaatoN ko ghazal ke dhaa.nche me.n Dhaal kar phir is mehfil me.n haazir hu_aa hoon.mai.N ummid kartaa hoon ki aap sab ki ashaaon par khara utar sakoo.n. Meri har baar yahi koshish rehti hai ki merii ghazal mere dil ke halaat bayaa.n kar sake, aur har shayar ki sach poochiye to yahii koshish rehti hai.aaKhir ghazal dil ka aaeenaa hotii hai aisa mera maanana hai. ab main apni koshsih men kitna kaamiyaab raha hoon yeh to aap hee padh kar bata shaktey hai. ummid karta hoon ki aap is ko apnii raay se jaroor nawaazenge.
Gam mire phir zab^t mera aazmaane aa gaye
ash^k kuchh Rish^tey purane phir nibhaane aa gaye
baat hamney kii kabhi khul kar haseeno se tabhi
log mil kar toHmate.n mujh par lagaane aa gaye
next sher ki 2nd line maine do soorato men likhi hai
Aaiine me.n us ne chehra apna dekha hii nahii
Aur dekhiye ungliyaa sab par uthaane aa gaye
Ungliyaa.n kyu.n apni auro.n par uthaane aa gaye
is kadar bhii log haiN bereh^m socha hee nahee
jul^m kar ke zakh^m par nas^tar chalaane aa gaye
zee.ndagi bhar toh nahii kii qad^r mere pyaar ki
Mai.N maraa toh kabr par diiyaa jalaane aa gaye
Shaakh se hii dard kii jab phool ban phootii ghazal
phir lo ah-le-baz^m taariife.n lutaane aa gaye
jab kabhi khoon-e-jigar se hai likhi maine ghazal
hamnashii.n mere sanam kyu.n muskuraane aa gaye
ilm mujh ko jab huaa gham hai mera unkii khushii
muskuraa kar ham tabhi phir Zakh^m khaane aa gaye
dil ke zakh^mo ko to tanhaayii ne sii liya magar
zakh^m-e-rooh lo saamne kis kis bahaane* aa gaye
laakh chaaha hamne rukh yaado.N se teri moDna
beete kuchh bereh^m lamhei.N dil dukhaane aa haye
hamne dekhii hee nahi aa.Ngan me.n apne koi fizaa
tum mile to yu.n laga mausam suhaane aa gaye
haa.n magar apne mukaddar men ye shayad tha nahii
tum gaye , din zar^d patjhaR ke puraane aa gaye
Yu.n rahe apne maraasim haadso se umrabhar
Dil kiyaa, khoon-e-jigar mera bahaane* aa gaye
Gham ke aansoo hee mere rukhsaar ka gehna bane
Aur gham-e-dost hi mire is ko sajane aa gaye
here in both sher bahaane* is used in diffrent context
aap sab dosto.N ki raay ka munziir hoon
regards
manu
ek ghazal-Gam mire phir zab^t mera aazmaane aa gaye
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
Thanx sara j
Sara jee aap ne is kalaam par aa kar, ise padh kar aur pasand kar ke mujhe jo hosala-afsaayi dii hai us ke liye aap ka mamnoon hoon maiN. Dar'asal is ghazal men kaafee ghaltiyaaN maujood hain, jise sudhaar kar phir se ek baae aap ke saamane rakh raha hoon, aur ummid karta hoon ki aap sab ko pasand aayegii yeh ghazal.sara_j wrote:manu ji,
adaab aur naya saal mubarak,
ghazal pasand aayi kuch shair to dil ko chuu gaye.
daad qubool keejiye aur zor e qalam aur ziyada.
sara
Gam mire phir zab^t mera aazmaane aa gaye
ash^k kuchh Rish^tey purane phir nibhaane aa gaye
baat hamney kii jo rasman bhii haseeno se kabhii
log mil kar toHmate.n ham par lagaane aa gaye
Aaiine me.n apna chehra un ne dekha hii nahii
Ungliyaa.n jo apni auro.n par uthaane aa gaye
is qadar bhii log haiN bereh^m socha bhii na thaa
zul^m kar ke zakh^m par nashtar chalaane aa gaye
zee.ndagi bhar toh nahii kii qad^r mere pyaar ki
Mai.N maraa toh kabra par diyaa jalaane aa gaye
Shaakh se jab phool ban kar dard ki phootii ghazal
phir lo ah-le-baz^m taariife.n lutaane aa gaye
jab kabhi khoon-e-jigar se hai likhi maine ghazal
hamnashii.n mere sanam yu.n muskuraane aa gaye
ilm ham ko jab huaa gham apna hai unki khushii
muskuraa kar ham tabhi phir Zakh^m khaane aa gaye
dil ke zakh^mo ko to tanhaayii ke dhaage sii liya
zakh^m-e-rooh lo saamne kis kis bahaane* aa gaye
laakh chaaha hamne rukh yaado.N se teri moDna
beete kuchh bereh^m lamhei.N dil dukhaane aa haye
hamne dekhii hee nahi aa.Ngan me.n apne koi fizaa
tum mile to yu.n laga mausam suhaane aa gaye
haa.n magar apne mukaddar men ye mausam hee na tha
tum gaye , din zar^d patjhaR ke puraane aa gaye
Yu.n rahe apne maraasim haadso se umrabhar
Dil to kyaa,khoon-e-jigar mera bahaane* aa gaye
Gham ke aansoo hee mere rukhsaar ka gehna bane
Aur ye motii khwaabida aankhe sajaane aa gaye
NafrateN hai cheez kyaa koi ham se bhi puchhe kabhi
Aaiine ke aksh dushmanee jataane aa gaye
regards
manu
-
Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
- -
- Posts: 1258
- Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:40 pm
- Location: London, England
- Contact:
moHtaram Manu SaaHib tasleemaat! 
Aap kee Ghazal jo keh aap ke jazbaat aor dard kee nishaandahee kar hai. achchee koshish hai. yeh Ghazal jaesa keh aap jaante haiN keh beHer-e-ramal mucammin meHZoof meN kahee gaee hai. ya'nee mucammin hone kee wajah se is ke kul aaTh arkaan huwe. aor is Hawalah se aakhree rukan :faailaatun: ko meHZoof ZaHaaf :faai'lun: se badal diya geya hai. aor yooN yeh Surat meHZoof kehlaee. pas is Surat meN is ke arkaan yooN huwe faai'laatun....faai'laatun.....faai'laatun......faai'lun. ab agar dekhaa jae to aap ke beshtar miSre wazan meN haiN lekin do aek jagah aap wazan kee pabandee qaae'm nah rakh sake. lekin koshish achchee hai. daad qubool keejiye.
Gam mire phir zab^t mera aazmaane aa gaye
ash^k kuchh Rish^tey purane phir nibhaane aa gaye
baat hamney kii jo rasman bhii haseeno se kabhii
log mil kar toHmate.n ham par lagaane aa gaye
Aaiine me.n apna chehra un ne dekha hii nahii
Ungliyaa.n jo apni auro.n par uthaane aa gaye ;;
is qadar bhii log haiN bereh^m socha bhii na thaa
zul^m kar ke zakh^m par nashtar chalaane aa gaye
zee.ndagi bhar toh nahii kii qad^r mere pyaar ki
Mai.N maraa toh kabra par diyaa jalaane aa gaye ;;
pehla miSra' beHer meN naheeN. yooN keh sakte haiN.
"maiN mara to Qabr par shamma' jalane aagaey"
ya'nee :diyaa: kee wajah se be beHer ho geya thaa.
Shaakh se jab phool ban kar dard ki phootii ghazal
phir lo ah-le-baz^m taariife.n lutaane aa gaye
jab kabhi khoon-e-jigar se hai likhi maine ghazal
hamnashii.n mere sanam yu.n muskuraane aa gaye
ilm ham ko jab huaa gham apna hai unki khushii
muskuraa kar ham tabhi phir Zakh^m khaane aa gaye
dil ke zakh^mo ko to tanhaayii ke dhaage sii liya
zakh^m-e-rooh lo saamne kis kis bahaane* aa gaye
laakh chaaha hamne rukh yaado.N se teri moDna
beete kuchh bereh^m lamhei.N dil dukhaane aa haye
hamne dekhii hee nahi aa.Ngan me.n apne koi fizaa
tum mile to yu.n laga mausam suhaane aa gaye
haa.n magar apne mukaddar men ye mausam hee na tha
tum gaye , din zar^d patjhaR ke puraane aa gaye
Yu.n rahe apne maraasim haadso se umrabhar
Dil to kyaa,khoon-e-jigar mera bahaane* aa gaye
Gham ke aansoo hee mere rukhsaar ka gehna bane
Aur ye motii khwaabida aankhe sajaane aa gaye
miSra'-e-caani be beHer ho geya hai. dekh leejiye gaa.
NafrateN hai cheez kyaa koi ham se bhi puchhe kabhi ;;
Aaiine ke aksh dushmanee jataane aa gaye
:hai: ko haiN likhna chahiye. is she'er ke donooN miSre wazan meN naheeN.
"nafrateeN kiyaa cheeZ haiN ham se kabhee puche koee"
dusre miSra' kee koee mumkinah Surat aap talaash kar leeN. taa keh miSrooN meN rabt^ bhee baHaal ho jae.
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
Aap kee Ghazal jo keh aap ke jazbaat aor dard kee nishaandahee kar hai. achchee koshish hai. yeh Ghazal jaesa keh aap jaante haiN keh beHer-e-ramal mucammin meHZoof meN kahee gaee hai. ya'nee mucammin hone kee wajah se is ke kul aaTh arkaan huwe. aor is Hawalah se aakhree rukan :faailaatun: ko meHZoof ZaHaaf :faai'lun: se badal diya geya hai. aor yooN yeh Surat meHZoof kehlaee. pas is Surat meN is ke arkaan yooN huwe faai'laatun....faai'laatun.....faai'laatun......faai'lun. ab agar dekhaa jae to aap ke beshtar miSre wazan meN haiN lekin do aek jagah aap wazan kee pabandee qaae'm nah rakh sake. lekin koshish achchee hai. daad qubool keejiye.
Gam mire phir zab^t mera aazmaane aa gaye
ash^k kuchh Rish^tey purane phir nibhaane aa gaye
baat hamney kii jo rasman bhii haseeno se kabhii
log mil kar toHmate.n ham par lagaane aa gaye
Aaiine me.n apna chehra un ne dekha hii nahii
Ungliyaa.n jo apni auro.n par uthaane aa gaye ;;
is qadar bhii log haiN bereh^m socha bhii na thaa
zul^m kar ke zakh^m par nashtar chalaane aa gaye
zee.ndagi bhar toh nahii kii qad^r mere pyaar ki
Mai.N maraa toh kabra par diyaa jalaane aa gaye ;;
pehla miSra' beHer meN naheeN. yooN keh sakte haiN.
"maiN mara to Qabr par shamma' jalane aagaey"
ya'nee :diyaa: kee wajah se be beHer ho geya thaa.
Shaakh se jab phool ban kar dard ki phootii ghazal
phir lo ah-le-baz^m taariife.n lutaane aa gaye
jab kabhi khoon-e-jigar se hai likhi maine ghazal
hamnashii.n mere sanam yu.n muskuraane aa gaye
ilm ham ko jab huaa gham apna hai unki khushii
muskuraa kar ham tabhi phir Zakh^m khaane aa gaye
dil ke zakh^mo ko to tanhaayii ke dhaage sii liya
zakh^m-e-rooh lo saamne kis kis bahaane* aa gaye
laakh chaaha hamne rukh yaado.N se teri moDna
beete kuchh bereh^m lamhei.N dil dukhaane aa haye
hamne dekhii hee nahi aa.Ngan me.n apne koi fizaa
tum mile to yu.n laga mausam suhaane aa gaye
haa.n magar apne mukaddar men ye mausam hee na tha
tum gaye , din zar^d patjhaR ke puraane aa gaye
Yu.n rahe apne maraasim haadso se umrabhar
Dil to kyaa,khoon-e-jigar mera bahaane* aa gaye
Gham ke aansoo hee mere rukhsaar ka gehna bane
Aur ye motii khwaabida aankhe sajaane aa gaye
miSra'-e-caani be beHer ho geya hai. dekh leejiye gaa.
NafrateN hai cheez kyaa koi ham se bhi puchhe kabhi ;;
Aaiine ke aksh dushmanee jataane aa gaye
:hai: ko haiN likhna chahiye. is she'er ke donooN miSre wazan meN naheeN.
"nafrateeN kiyaa cheeZ haiN ham se kabhee puche koee"
dusre miSra' kee koee mumkinah Surat aap talaash kar leeN. taa keh miSrooN meN rabt^ bhee baHaal ho jae.
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
Mahotaram Muzaffar Saahib aadaab aur tasliimaat..Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar wrote:moHtaram Manu SaaHib tasleemaat!
Aap kee Ghazal jo keh aap ke jazbaat aor dard kee nishaandahee kar hai. achchee koshish hai. yeh Ghazal jaesa keh aap jaante haiN keh beHer-e-ramal mucammin meHZoof meN kahee gaee hai. ya'nee mucammin hone kee wajah se is ke kul aaTh arkaan huwe. aor is Hawalah se aakhree rukan :faailaatun: ko meHZoof ZaHaaf :faai'lun: se badal diya geya hai. aor yooN yeh Surat meHZoof kehlaee. pas is Surat meN is ke arkaan yooN huwe faai'laatun....faai'laatun.....faai'laatun......faai'lun. ab agar dekhaa jae to aap ke beshtar miSre wazan meN haiN lekin do aek jagah aap wazan kee pabandee qaae'm nah rakh sake. lekin koshish achchee hai. daad qubool keejiye.
Gam mire phir zab^t mera aazmaane aa gaye
ash^k kuchh Rish^tey purane phir nibhaane aa gaye
baat hamney kii jo rasman bhii haseeno se kabhii
log mil kar toHmate.n ham par lagaane aa gaye
Aaiine me.n apna chehra un ne dekha hii nahii
Ungliyaa.n jo apni auro.n par uthaane aa gaye ;;
is qadar bhii log haiN bereh^m socha bhii na thaa
zul^m kar ke zakh^m par nashtar chalaane aa gaye
zee.ndagi bhar toh nahii kii qad^r mere pyaar ki
Mai.N maraa toh kabra par diyaa jalaane aa gaye ;;
pehla miSra' beHer meN naheeN. yooN keh sakte haiN.
"maiN mara to Qabr par shamma' jalane aagaey"
ya'nee :diyaa: kee wajah se be beHer ho geya thaa.
Shaakh se jab phool ban kar dard ki phootii ghazal
phir lo ah-le-baz^m taariife.n lutaane aa gaye
jab kabhi khoon-e-jigar se hai likhi maine ghazal
hamnashii.n mere sanam yu.n muskuraane aa gaye
ilm ham ko jab huaa gham apna hai unki khushii
muskuraa kar ham tabhi phir Zakh^m khaane aa gaye
dil ke zakh^mo ko to tanhaayii ke dhaage sii liya
zakh^m-e-rooh lo saamne kis kis bahaane* aa gaye
laakh chaaha hamne rukh yaado.N se teri moDna
beete kuchh bereh^m lamhei.N dil dukhaane aa haye
hamne dekhii hee nahi aa.Ngan me.n apne koi fizaa
tum mile to yu.n laga mausam suhaane aa gaye
haa.n magar apne mukaddar men ye mausam hee na tha
tum gaye , din zar^d patjhaR ke puraane aa gaye
Yu.n rahe apne maraasim haadso se umrabhar
Dil to kyaa,khoon-e-jigar mera bahaane* aa gaye
Gham ke aansoo hee mere rukhsaar ka gehna bane
Aur ye motii khwaabida aankhe sajaane aa gaye
miSra'-e-caani be beHer ho geya hai. dekh leejiye gaa.
NafrateN hai cheez kyaa koi ham se bhi puchhe kabhi ;;
Aaiine ke aksh dushmanee jataane aa gaye
:hai: ko haiN likhna chahiye. is she'er ke donooN miSre wazan meN naheeN.
"nafrateeN kiyaa cheeZ haiN ham se kabhee puche koee"
dusre miSra' kee koee mumkinah Surat aap talaash kar leeN. taa keh miSrooN meN rabt^ bhee baHaal ho jae.
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
, pehle to mai.n aap ka tah-e-dil se shukar guzar hoon jo aap ne is naacheez ki ghazal ko padh kar apni besh qeemati raay se nawaaza,aap ki baat bilkul hee durust hai meri ghazal ke kuchh sher wazan se baahar hai, jise maine phir se likha hai.aap ke beshqimtii tabshire ke liye mai.n tah-e-dil se aap ka mamnoon hoon.yunhee aate rahiyega aur hame shikhaate rahiyega. aap aur sarwar saahib jaise ghazalaat ke javaahargirio ki vajah se ham jaise naushaayaro ka likhane ka housala buland rehta hai....regards
manu