yeh laRkii Khushi ko tarastii rahe gi

[Anmol]

Aadaab!

aik ghazal jo maiNe kaafi arse pehle kahi thi, lekin shaayad kabhi is forum meiN post nahiiN ki, aaj aap sab se share kar rahi huuN.

Ghazal:

mire dil pe Hasrat barastii rahe gi
yooNhii zindagii mujh pe haNstii rahe gi!

liye raaKh KhwaaboN ki apnii nazar meiN
yeh laRkii Khushi ko tarastii rahe gi

yeh aaNsoo mire yooN hi behte raheN ge
magar teri aaNkhoN meiN mastii rahe gi

miree her Khataa yaad rakhe gi dunyaa
her ik ki nazar ta'na kastii rahe gi

maiN jab tak bhi zindaa hooN Anmol, us ki
kamee naag ban ban ke Dastii rahe gi

by, Ayesha :Anmol:

[munir-armaan-nasimi]

Aadaab!

aik ghazal jo maiNe kaafi arse pehle kahi thi, lekin shaayad kabhi stanvir forum meiN post nahiiN ki, aaj aap sab se share kar rahi huuN.

Ghazal:

mire dil pe Hasrat barastii rahe gi
yooNhii zindagii mujh pe haNstii rahe gi!

liye raaKh KhwaaboN ki apnii nazar meiN
yeh laRkii Khushi ko tarastii rahe gi

yeh aaNsoo mire yooN hi behte raheN ge
magar teri aaNkhoN meiN mastii rahe gi

miree her Khataa yaad rakhe gi dunyaa
her ik ki nazar ta'na kastii rahe gi

maiN jab tak bhi zindaa hooN Anmol, us ki
kamee naag ban ban ke Dastii rahe gi

by, Ayesha :Anmol:

MOHTARAM AYESHA ANMOL JI

Ghazal koi nayi ya purani nahin hoti..... Ghazal to ghazal hoti hai..... jab bhi padho..... achchi lagti hai..... shart yeh hai ke... Dil buddha na hoa ho.

Aapki Ghazal majmooyi taur pe achchi lagi magar..... aksar jagah mujhe aisa laga (sirf mujhe aisa laga) jaise... aap khud ko Khataawar, Qosoorwaar aur.......... ek baar nahin baar baar...... kehti rahi hain......

why this 'guilt feelings'

dont mind

armaan

[jawaid badauni]

Aadaab!

aik ghazal jo maiNe kaafi arse pehle kahi thi, lekin shaayad kabhi stanvir forum meiN post nahiiN ki, aaj aap sab se share kar rahi huuN

.

Azeezah Ayesha "Anmol" SaaHibah,
aadaab

aap ki Ghazal nazar nawaz huuwee. achchi Ghazal hai. zameen bhi achchi hai aap ne qawafee bhi achche istaimal kiye haiN. daad Hazir hai.

chuNd ashAAr ke hawaley se kuch Arz karna apna farZ samajhta hooN lekin mere nacheez mashwaroN se aap ka muttafiq hona qatAn zaroori nahiN. woh Ghalat bhi ho sakte haiN.

aaiye aap ki ghazal ka jayezah liya jaye:



Ghazal:

mire dil pe Hasrat barastii rahe gi
yooNhii zindagii mujh pe haNstii rahe gi!

alfaz baZaahir achche haiN magar Hasrat barasna kabhi suna
nahiN aur iska koii rabt zindagee ke haNsne se bhi nahiN mAlum
hota, aap behtar samjah sakti haiN.

liye raaKh KhwaaboN ki apnii nazar meiN
yeh laRkii Khushi ko tarastii rahe gi

KhuwabooN ki raakh kya hoti hai. Yeh kaun see jiddat hai
Anmol SaHiabha. "liye apne KhwaaboN ko apni nazar meN"
kahteeN tou baat bilkul Saaf ho jati. aage jaisa aap samjheN.

yeh aaNsoo mire yooN hi behte raheN ge
magar teri aaNkhoN meiN mastii rahe gi

yeh she'r achca aur Saaf hai.daad qubool kijiye.

miree her Khataa yaad rakhe gi dunyaa
her ik ki nazar ta'na kastii rahe gi

IK-KI takraar achchi nahiN. "Sabhee ki nazar"
meN kya harj hai?

maiN jab tak bhi zindaa hooN Anmol, us ki
kamee naag ban ban ke Dastii rahe gi

Koii bhi miSra "us ki" lafz per Khatm nahiN hona chaahiye.
In alfaz meN zam ka pahloo hota hai. Asatiza ne gurez
farmaya hai.

kami uskee :Anmol : ik naag bun ker
tujhe umr bhar yuuN hee Dastee rahegee.

Ummid hai mere tanqeedee tabsare ka bura nahiN
maneNge warna us Surat meN pashagee maAzrat
Hazir hai.


aapka muKhliS

Jawaid Badauni


by, Ayesha :Anmol:

ummid

[m.naeem.sameer]

moHtarmah Anmol SaaHibah
aadaab.


aapkii Ghazal paRhi, daad HaaZir hai gar qabool uftaad. moHtaram jawaid badauni SaaHib kay mashwaroN maiN bila shubaa aap kay liye raahnumaa~ii hai.

aur aapkii kaamyaabi yehi hai kay aapkii Ghazal apni fazaa qaaim kar rahi hai, aur jaisa kay aap nay kaha kay kaafi ArSay pahlay yeh Ghazal kahi thi aap nay, is aitibaar say aapkii taazah Ghazal kay liye pur~ummeed honay maiN bhi koi shak nahiN hai.


SAMEER

[Anmol]

MOHTARAM AYESHA ANMOL JI

Ghazal koi nayi ya purani nahin hoti..... Ghazal to ghazal hoti hai..... jab bhi padho..... achchi lagti hai..... shart yeh hai ke... Dil buddha na hoa ho.

Aapki Ghazal majmooyi taur pe achchi lagi magar..... aksar jagah mujhe aisa laga (sirf mujhe aisa laga) jaise... aap khud ko Khataawar, Qosoorwaar aur.......... ek baar nahin baar baar...... kehti rahi hain......

why this 'guilt feelings'

dont mind

armaan

Armaan SaaHib, aadaab!

ghazal ki pazeerayi ke liye shukria!

mera Khayaal hai k is ghazal ka sirf aik she'r aisa hai jis se aap ko ye gumaan ho sakta hai k maiN koi guilt show kar rahi huuN,

miree her Khataa yaad rakhe gi dunyaa
her ik ki nazar ta'na kastii rahe gi

lekin yahaaN maiN apne aap ko qusoorwaar nahiiN qaraar de rahi, balke kehna ye chaahti huuN k baaz log har baat ka issue banaa dete haiN, aur kisi ki koi ghalati ya bhool un ki giraft meiN aa jaaye to woh usey hamesha bahaane bahaane se jataate rehte haiN, lihaaza mujhse koi bhi Ghalati hogi to duniya wale usey yaad rakheNge aur mujhe baar baar bura bhala kaheNge.

haaN ye sach hai k maiN aksar apne kalaam meiN doosroN ke hisse ka ilzaam bhi apne sar le leti huuN, lekin kuchh barhami aur jataata hua sa andaaz hota hai.

chalo maana qusoor mera hai
aap achchhe haiN, maiN buri saahib (Ayesha :Anmol:)

ghazal per tawajja dene k liye maiN aap ki mamnoon huuN.

:Anmol:

[Anmol]

Azeezah Ayesha "Anmol" SaaHibah,
aadaab

aap ki Ghazal nazar nawaz huuwee. achchi Ghazal hai. zameen bhi achchi hai aap ne qawafee bhi achche istaimal kiye haiN. daad Hazir hai.

chuNd ashAAr ke hawaley se kuch Arz karna apna farZ samajhta hooN lekin mere nacheez mashwaroN se aap ka muttafiq hona qatAn zaroori nahiN. woh Ghalat bhi ho sakte haiN.

Aadaab, Jawaid SaaHib!

Ghazal ki pasandeedgi ke liye bahut shukria.

aaiye aap ki ghazal ka jayezah liya jaye:

mire dil pe Hasrat barastii rahe gi
yooNhii zindagii mujh pe haNstii rahe gi!

alfaz baZaahir achche haiN magar Hasrat barasna kabhi suna
nahiN aur iska koii rabt zindagee ke haNsne se bhi nahiN mAlum
hota, aap behtar samjah sakti haiN.

agar 'aag, rehmat, ghaTa, aur masti ka barasna' rawaa hai (mere paas misaaleN maujood haiN) to 'hasrat barasna' bhi ho sakta hai na. mujhe hairat hai k aap ne 'Hasrat barasna' kabhi nahiiN suna. :? ye Farhang-e-Aasfia meiN maujood hai. is post meiN sanad attach kar rahi huuN.



Qateel Shifaayi ka she'r hai,

dar-o-deewar se hasrat si barasti hai Qateel
jaane kis des gaye pyaar nibhane wale

she'r meiN bus itna hi kehna chaaha tha k aisa lagta hai k yuuNhi mere dil meiN mehroomiyaaN raheNgi aur zindagi meri bebasi per hansti rahe gi.

liye raaKh KhwaaboN ki apnii nazar meiN
yeh laRkii Khushi ko tarastii rahe gi

KhuwabooN ki raakh kya hoti hai. Yeh kaun see jiddat hai
Anmol SaHiabha. "liye apne KhwaaboN ko apni nazar meN"
kahteeN tou baat bilkul Saaf ho jati. aage jaisa aap samjheN.

agar 'KhwaaboN ki kirchiyaaN' ho sakti haiN, 'dil ki, zabt ki, yaadoN ki, aur lamhoN ki raakh' ho sakti hai (aap chaaheN to maiN misaaleN pesh kar sakti huuN), to phir 'khwaaboN ki raaKh' kyooN nahiiN? Khwaab jal kar raakh hi hoNge.

'KhwaboN ki raakh' ki misaaleN dekhiye,

Khwaab ki raakh sameTe gi bikhar jaaye gi
Soorat-e-sho'la-e-khursheed rukhaaN shaam-e-firaaq
(Mohsin Naqwi)

bichha dia tha gulaaboN ke saath apna wajood
woh so ke uThe to khwaaboN ki raaKh uThaooN gi
(Parveen Shakir)

yeh aaNsoo mire yooN hi behte raheN ge
magar teri aaNkhoN meiN mastii rahe gi

yeh she'r achca aur Saaf hai.daad qubool kijiye.

she'r ko pasand karne ka shukria!

miree her Khataa yaad rakhe gi dunyaa
her ik ki nazar ta'na kastii rahe gi

IK-KI takraar achchi nahiN. "Sabhee ki nazar"
meN kya harj hai?

aap ki tajveez bhi Theek hai, lekin mujhe apne she'r meiN kaaf ki takraar buri bhi nahiiN lag rahi. aisi amsala asaatiza ke kalaam meiN bhi mil sakti haiN.

ik khel hai auraNg-e-sulemaaN mere nazdeek
ik baat hai eijaaz-e-maseeHa mere aage
(Ghalib)

yahaaN bhi kaaf ki takraar hai aur hargiz buri nahiiN lag rahi.

maiN jab tak bhi zindaa hooN Anmol, us ki
kamee naag ban ban ke Dastii rahe gi

Koii bhi miSra "us ki" lafz per Khatm nahiN hona chaahiye.
In alfaz meN zam ka pahloo hota hai. Asatiza ne gurez
farmaya hai.

kami uskee :Anmol : ik naag bun ker
tujhe umr bhar yuuN hee Dastee rahegee.

mujhe to apna misra Theek lag raha hai. Misaal ke taur per Ghalib ka aik she'r pesh hai,

marne ki aay dil! aur hi tadbeer kar keh, maiN
shaayaan-e-dast-o-baazu-e-qaatil nahiiN raha
(Ghalib)

YahaaN 'maiN' agle misre ka juz hai , magar vazn qaaim rakhne ke liye pehle misre ke aaKhir meiN hai. isi tarah maiNe bhi apne she'r meiN vazn ki khatir 'us ki' ko pehle misre ke aakhir meiN kar dia. comma ki zarurat thi so maiNe laga dia hai,

maiN jab tak bhi zindaa hooN Anmol, us ki
kamee naag ban ban ke Dastii rahe gi

Ummid hai mere tanqeedee tabsare ka bura nahiN
maneNge warna us Surat meN pashagee maAzrat
Hazir hai.

Ji nahiiN, maiNe aap ke tabSare ka hargiz bura nahiiN maana. umeed hai k aainda bhi mere kalaam per tawajja farmaate raheNge. bahut bahut shukria!

Anmol


aapka muKhliS

Jawaid Badauni

[jawaid badauni]

Azeezah Ayesha "Anmol" SaaHibah,
aadaab

aap ki Ghazal nazar nawaz huuwee. achchi Ghazal hai. zameen bhi achchi hai aap ne qawafee bhi achche istaimal kiye haiN. daad Hazir hai.

chuNd ashAAr ke hawaley se kuch Arz karna apna farZ samajhta hooN lekin mere nacheez mashwaroN se aap ka muttafiq hona qatAn zaroori nahiN. woh Ghalat bhi ho sakte haiN.

Aadaab, Jawaid SaaHib!

Ghazal ki pasandeedgi ke liye bahut shukria.

aaiye aap ki ghazal ka jayezah liya jaye:

mire dil pe Hasrat barastii rahe gi
yooNhii zindagii mujh pe haNstii rahe gi!

alfaz baZaahir achche haiN magar Hasrat barasna kabhi suna
nahiN aur iska koii rabt zindagee ke haNsne se bhi nahiN mAlum
hota, aap behtar samjah sakti haiN.

agar 'aag, rehmat, ghaTa, aur masti ka barasna' rawaa hai (mere paas misaaleN maujood haiN) to 'hasrat barasna' bhi ho sakta hai na. mujhe hairat hai k aap ne 'Hasrat barasna' kabhi nahiiN suna. :? ye Farhang-e-Aasfia meiN maujood hai. is post meiN sanad attach kar rahi huuN.



Qateel Shifaayi ka she'r hai,

dar-o-deewar se hasrat si barasti hai Qateel
jaane kis des gaye pyaar nibhane wale

she'r meiN bus itna hi kehna chaaha tha k aisa lagta hai k yuuNhi mere dil meiN mehroomiyaaN raheNgi aur zindagi meri bebasi per hansti rahe gi.

liye raaKh KhwaaboN ki apnii nazar meiN
yeh laRkii Khushi ko tarastii rahe gi

KhuwabooN ki raakh kya hoti hai. Yeh kaun see jiddat hai
Anmol SaHiabha. "liye apne KhwaaboN ko apni nazar meN"
kahteeN tou baat bilkul Saaf ho jati. aage jaisa aap samjheN.

agar 'KhwaaboN ki kirchiyaaN' ho sakti haiN, 'dil ki, zabt ki, yaadoN ki, aur lamhoN ki raakh' ho sakti hai (aap chaaheN to maiN misaaleN pesh kar sakti huuN), to phir 'khwaaboN ki raaKh' kyooN nahiiN? Khwaab jal kar raakh hi hoNge.

'KhwaboN ki raakh' ki misaaleN dekhiye,

Khwaab ki raakh sameTe gi bikhar jaaye gi
Soorat-e-sho'la-e-khursheed rukhaaN shaam-e-firaaq
(Mohsin Naqwi)

bichha dia tha gulaaboN ke saath apna wajood
woh so ke uThe to khwaaboN ki raaKh uThaooN gi
(Parveen Shakir)

yeh aaNsoo mire yooN hi behte raheN ge
magar teri aaNkhoN meiN mastii rahe gi

yeh she'r achca aur Saaf hai.daad qubool kijiye.

she'r ko pasand karne ka shukria!

miree her Khataa yaad rakhe gi dunyaa
her ik ki nazar ta'na kastii rahe gi

IK-KI takraar achchi nahiN. "Sabhee ki nazar"
meN kya harj hai?

aap ki tajveez bhi Theek hai, lekin mujhe apne she'r meiN kaaf ki takraar buri bhi nahiiN lag rahi. aisi amsala asaatiza ke kalaam meiN bhi mil sakti haiN.

ik khel hai auraNg-e-sulemaaN mere nazdeek
ik baat hai eijaaz-e-maseeHa mere aage
(Ghalib)

yahaaN bhi kaaf ki takraar hai aur hargiz buri nahiiN lag rahi.

maiN jab tak bhi zindaa hooN Anmol, us ki
kamee naag ban ban ke Dastii rahe gi

Koii bhi miSra "us ki" lafz per Khatm nahiN hona chaahiye.
In alfaz meN zam ka pahloo hota hai. Asatiza ne gurez
farmaya hai.

kami uskee :Anmol : ik naag bun ker
tujhe umr bhar yuuN hee Dastee rahegee.

mujhe to apna misra Theek lag raha hai. Misaal ke taur per Ghalib ka aik she'r pesh hai,

marne ki aay dil! aur hi tadbeer kar keh, maiN
shaayaan-e-dast-o-baazu-e-qaatil nahiiN raha
(Ghalib)

YahaaN 'maiN' agle misre ka juz hai , magar vazn qaaim rakhne ke liye pehle misre ke aaKhir meiN hai. isi tarah maiNe bhi apne she'r meiN vazn ki khatir 'us ki' ko pehle misre ke aakhir meiN kar dia. comma ki zarurat thi so maiNe laga dia hai,

maiN jab tak bhi zindaa hooN Anmol, us ki
kamee naag ban ban ke Dastii rahe gi

Ummid hai mere tanqeedee tabsare ka bura nahiN
maneNge warna us Surat meN pashagee maAzrat
Hazir hai.

Ji nahiiN, maiNe aap ke tabSare ka hargiz bura nahiiN maana. umeed hai k aainda bhi mere kalaam per tawajja farmaate raheNge. bahut bahut shukria!

Anmol


aapka muKhliS

Jawaid Badauni

Azeezah Anmol SaaHibah
aadaab

maiN Amuman kiee ki ghazal per tabsarah nahiN karta. sub se ziyadah dukh
mujhe tab hota hai jab maiN unki GhazaloN per Khamosh rahooN jo hamesha
meri GhazaloN per pahlee furSat meN apni daad.o.taHseen se mujhe nawaazte
rahte haiN. Sawal yeh paida hota hai keh maiN Khamosh kyuuN rahta hooN?

Bahan! tabsara karte waqt likhne wale ke paas teen "options" hote haiN. (1) woh
makkaree se kaam le aur jhoTee wah wah kare (2) woh apnee aara ka
eemandaari se izhaar kar de magar is Surat meN dilshikanee ka Khadsha
bahar Haal darpesh rahta hai. (3) ek teesra "option" yeh bhi hai keh woh
is baat ki wazahat bhi kare keh usey kaun sa sher pasaNd nahiN aaya aur kyoN.
maiN ya tou chup raihta hooN ya teesre Surat iKhteyaar karta hooN.

jahaN tak aap ki zaat ka sawal hai aap ne jo Khidmat urdu ki kee hai us se
na mujhe inkaar hai nah kisee aur ko. jahaN tak aap ki is ghazal ka sawal hai
maiN ne ibteda' meN hi Arz kar diya tha maiN jo kuch likh raha hooN sirf aur
sirf apni pasand ke muTbiq likh raha hooN. Khadim ne yeh bhi Arz kiya tha
keh uskee tajaweez se aap ka muttafiq hona lazim nahiN woh Ghalat bhi ho
saktee haiN. paRh lijiye yeh sub "record" ho chuka hai.

aap ne apne ashAAr ke taHaffuz meN chund asatiza ke ashAAr pesh farmaye
haiN jo aap ke ahle ilm hone ki daleel hai. magar yeh kaam us Surat meN
zaroori tha agar main aap ke ashaar meN koii funni Ghalatee nikaalta. maiN ne
tou sirf yeh Arz kiya tha keh "ik ki" ya "uski" mujhe zati taur per achche nah lage.
tou usper tou maiN ab bhi qaiim hooN yAAni aap ki sari meHnat bekaar gaii.

Bibi! ek Arz yeh bhi hai keh (sirf) PaNchven sher meN mujhe kya pasaNd nahiN aaya
"zam" se meri kya murad thee, "uski" lafz per sher kyuuN nahiN khatm hona
chaahiye, mujhe yaqeen hai aap meri Arz samajh hi nahiN saki haiN


baharHaal yeh aap ki ghazal hai aap jaisa munasib samjheN aur jo aap ko
achcha lage kijiye. jis Tarah aap mere dalaail se muttafiq nahin maAzrat
Khuwaah hooN keh main bhi aap ki miSaaloN se ittefaaq nahiN rakhta.
ismeN koii harj bhi nahiN hai.

kuch waqt aap ka zaya huuwa kuch mera magar guftagoo behud dilchup
rahee aur KhaliS adaabee baHs meN sub ka faiydah hi hota hai. aap ki
batoN se mere ilm meN izafah huuwa ab yeh tou kahna mushkil hai keh
meri batoN se aap ke Ilm meN bhi...............aapne irshad farmaya hai
aaindah bhi aap ki Ghazal per apni naacheez aara bhejoN. tou awwal tou
aap ki ghazal hi bohat kum dekhne ko miltee hai phir maiN Khood maSroofiyaat
haai zamana ka shikaar hooN. bahar Haal kabhi aap ka koii kalam nazar se
guzra aur Halat ne ijazat dee tou zaroor likhooNga magar wohee likhooNga
jo mere dil ki aawaz hogee. ab tou yeh bhi Ilm ho gaya hai keh aap bura nahiN
maanti haiN.

Allah aap ko shaad.o.aabaad rakhkhe. likhtee rahiye. aur haaN yaqeen kijiye
maiN ek sachcha insaan hooN mera maqSad e'traz baraye e'traz nah tha nah
kabhi hota hai. Ijazat deejiye.

KhulooSkaar
Jawaid

[Anmol]

moHtarmah Anmol SaaHibah
aadaab.


aapkii Ghazal paRhi, daad HaaZir hai gar qabool uftaad. moHtaram jawaid badauni SaaHib kay mashwaroN maiN bila shubaa aap kay liye raahnumaa~ii hai.

aur aapkii kaamyaabi yehi hai kay aapkii Ghazal apni fazaa qaaim kar rahi hai, aur jaisa kay aap nay kaha kay kaafi ArSay pahlay yeh Ghazal kahi thi aap nay, is aitibaar say aapkii taazah Ghazal kay liye pur~ummeed honay maiN bhi koi shak nahiN hai.


SAMEER

Sameer SaaHib, aadaab!

ghazal ki pasandeedgi aur daad ke liye maiN aap ki mamnoon huuN.

shukria!

Anmol

[Anmol]

Dear Anmol,

duaei.n

jaise ke pehle bhi arz kar chuki hoon ke tumhari tehreer paRhne ki bohat khwahish ho rahi thi ,
sach hai ke farishte hamesha 'ameen' kehte hain isliye meri khwahish poori hui :rose lekin tumhari
nayi ghazal ka shiddat se intezar rahega.

ghazal mukhtaser lekin bohat dilkash hai, sabhi ashaar behad pasand aaye, khaas

"liye raaKh KhwaaboN ki apnii nazar meiN
yeh laRkii Khushi ko tarastii rahe gi"

bohat khoob!

bas aek baat zara jaanna chaahti hoon ke lafz "masti"
jo tumne qaafiye mein muzakkar istemal kiya hai kya ye theek hai? just a doubt.

is kamyaab aur khoobsurat ghazal per dili daad pesh hai.

sara

Dear Sara, aadaab!

umeed hai k tum meri ye post apni sehat ki behtareen haalat meiN paRho. apne kalaam ke liye tumhaara ishtiyaaq dekh kar achchha laga.

'masti' to hai hi muannas aur maiNe bhi isey muannas hi baandha hai. radeef 'rahe gi' se ye baat saaf zaahir hai.

yeh aaNsoo mire yooN hi behte raheN ge
magar teri aaNkhoN meiN mastii rahe gi ------- Ayesha :Anmol:

ghazal ki pazeerayi ke liye mamnoon huuN.

Anmol