HaaZreen e meHfil
aadaab.
apni naii Ghazal aap ki Khidmat maiN pesh kar raha hoN, is ummeed kay saath, kay aap apni qimati aaraa say, har giz mahroom nahiN kareNge. shukriyah.
din bhi Dhalnay lagaa bastiyaaN so gayeeN
chaand niklaa nahiN khiRkiyaaN so gayeeN
tez suuraj maiN par ko jalaati raheeN
shub ko murjhaa kay sub titliyaaN so gayeeN
aaj eHsaas kii chaandnii raat maiN
uskay alfaaz kii bij~liyaaN so gayeeN
baap kii apnay ghar muflisi dekh kar
bhook oRhay huwey bach~chiyaN sogayeeN
raat, tablay kii dhun per khanak~tii rahiiN
subh utrii huiiN chuuR~yaaN so gayeeN
bistar e margg per naa~tavaaN ik za~eef
ghum mukammal huwa sis~kiyaaN so gayeeN
jaa kay shahr e KhamoshaaN maiN dekho SAMEER
kya say kya boltii has~tiyaaN so gayeeN
SAMEER
NAII GHAZAL
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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m.naeem.sameer
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Sameer SaaHib, aadaab!tez suuraj maiN par ko jalaati raheeN
shub ko murjhaa kay sub titliyaaN so gayeeN
baap kii apnay ghar muflisi dekh kar
bhook oRhay huwey bach~chiyaN sogayeeN
bistar e margg per naa~tavaaN ik za~eef
ghum mukammal huwa sis~kiyaaN so gayeeN
jaa kay shahr e Khamoshaa maiN dekho SAMEER
kya say kya boltii has~tiyaaN so gayeeN
aap ki ghazal bhi meri pasandeeda behr meiN hai, zameen bhi Khoob hai aur ashaar nihaayat umda especially quoted ashaar.... maqta paRh kar to mujhe chacha Ghalib yaad aa gaye.
sab kahaaN kuchh laala-o-gul meiN numaayaaN ho gayeeN
khaak meiN kya soorateN hoNgi k pinhaaN ho gayeeN (Ghalib)
waise Ghalib se aik lateefa bhi yaad aa gaya, lekin off-topic ho jaayega
. anyways, coming back to your ghazal, mujhe aap ke sabhi ashaar behad pasand aaye haiN, (jab mujhe koi kalaam bahut pasand aaye, to aksar mere paas pazeerayi ke liye alfaaz bhi kum paR jaate haiN 
) so aap meri jaanib se DheroN daad aur mubaarakbaad per hi iktifaa kar lijiye. 
Anmol
My Poetry Website>> http://www.tanhaa.net/anmol
A site for Raj Kumar Sahib>> http://rk-qais.bravehost.com
A site for Raj Kumar Sahib>> http://rk-qais.bravehost.com
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muhammad_19k
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great one!raat, tablay kii dhun per khanak~tii rahiiN
subh utrii huiiN chuuR~yaaN so gayeeN
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
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m.naeem.sameer
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m.naeem.sameer
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Sohail Malik
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m.naeem.sameer
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muhammad_19k
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Sameer SaHeb,
aap ki ghazal par dobraa nazar paRi to is sher par aTTak gayee
tez suuraj maiN par ko jalaati raheeN
shub ko murjhaa kay sub titliyaaN so gayeeN
par sooraj jalaataa hai ke dhoop?
titliyaaN murjhaati heN ke thakti heN?
regards,
aap ki ghazal par dobraa nazar paRi to is sher par aTTak gayee
tez suuraj maiN par ko jalaati raheeN
shub ko murjhaa kay sub titliyaaN so gayeeN
par sooraj jalaataa hai ke dhoop?
titliyaaN murjhaati heN ke thakti heN?
regards,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
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Khurshidul Hasan Naiyer
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m.naeem.sameer
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moHtaram janaab Khawar SaaHib,muhammad_19k wrote:Sameer SaHeb,
aap ki ghazal par dobraa nazar paRi to is sher par aTTak gayee
tez suuraj maiN par ko jalaati raheeN
shub ko murjhaa kay sub titliyaaN so gayeeN
par sooraj jalaataa hai ke dhoop?
titliyaaN murjhaati heN ke thakti heN?
regards,
aadaab.
aap ney nah cheez kay kalaam per naZr e caani kii, bahat shukriyah. mujhey Khushi hai kay aap bazm maiN un logoN maiN say hai jo riwayati mushairoN kii tarha Sirf daad hi say nahiN balkey kalaam maiN agar kaheeN koi naqs maloom ho toh usay bhi ujaagar kartey haiN. such poochye toh mujh aisay tifl e maktab ka apney kalaam ko yahaN pesh karney kaa maqSad bhi yehi hai kay kalaam kii Khaami ya naqs saamney aaiN.
taiz suuraj maiN par ko jalaati raheeN
shub ko murjha k sub titliyaaN so gayeeN
is shair kii baabat aap ney likha hai k:-
par sooraj jalaataa hai ke dhoop?
lekin yahaN per titliyaaN apney par jalaa rahi haiN, dhoop maiN per jal rahe hoN yaa tez suraj say (lekin aap ney jab tawajjoh dilaaii hai toh maiN isay mazeed kisi ustaad say poochoNga aur ghor karoNga.
isi shair k dusrey miSrey per aap neh poocha hai k:-
titliyaaN murjhaati heN ke thakti heN?
yahaN per titliyoN k phelaaye huwey per k samaitney ko murjhaaney say tashbeeh dii gayee hai.
agar ab bhi aap ko koi Khalal naZar aaye toh barah e karam mujhey zaroor batayyega, mujhey Khushi ho gii.
maiN ummeed karta hoN k aap aaindah bhi mujhey aapni aaraa say zaroor nawaazeiNge.
Tifl e maktab
SAMEER
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m.naeem.sameer
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