guzarish # 39 k liye aik koshish hazir-i-khidmuth hai
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
guzarish # 39 k liye aik koshish hazir-i-khidmuth hai
salam
- Attachments
-
- laila majnoon.gif (15.49 KiB) Viewed 703 times
-
muhammad_19k
- -
- Posts: 540
- Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:36 am
- Location: Lahore
- Contact:
Salam mujhaahid SaHeb,
aap ki ghazal ka majm'ee ta,aacur bohat achchaa hai. daad qubool kijaiye. maazaameen aor bayaan dono hi mujhe pasand aa-aye. Sirf aek kami rahi to roman version ki [:)]
1. maTla meN mujhe rabt kuch kamzoor laga.
2. qiyaamat se nahi thaa kam tiraa deedaar ik lamHa.
3. zameen oar ghar dono aek hi muqaam heN maire khyaal meN agar aap falak ki baat kareN mazmoon meN zydaa dilkashi ho gi jaise ke
falak se chaand ka tukRa utar aayaa miray ghar meN!
miraa khyaal ghalat bhi ho saktaa hai.
4. woh meN lailaa oar majnooN dono aa aajte heN is leeaye miSra ke aakhir meN bhi ghair zaroori lag raha hai. maire zehn meN aek shakl ye hai.
ke SadyooN ..................................
aor is sher meN bhi rabt kamzor lag rahaa hai.
5. achchaa sher hai.
6. bohat khoob.
khairandesh,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
aap ki ghazal ka majm'ee ta,aacur bohat achchaa hai. daad qubool kijaiye. maazaameen aor bayaan dono hi mujhe pasand aa-aye. Sirf aek kami rahi to roman version ki [:)]
1. maTla meN mujhe rabt kuch kamzoor laga.
2. qiyaamat se nahi thaa kam tiraa deedaar ik lamHa.
3. zameen oar ghar dono aek hi muqaam heN maire khyaal meN agar aap falak ki baat kareN mazmoon meN zydaa dilkashi ho gi jaise ke
falak se chaand ka tukRa utar aayaa miray ghar meN!
miraa khyaal ghalat bhi ho saktaa hai.
4. woh meN lailaa oar majnooN dono aa aajte heN is leeaye miSra ke aakhir meN bhi ghair zaroori lag raha hai. maire zehn meN aek shakl ye hai.
ke SadyooN ..................................
aor is sher meN bhi rabt kamzor lag rahaa hai.
5. achchaa sher hai.
6. bohat khoob.
khairandesh,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
+92 321 4435273
938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com
-
Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
- -
- Posts: 1258
- Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:40 pm
- Location: London, England
- Contact:
moHtaram Mujahid SaaHib taslemaat!
rawaN mushae'rah ke liye aap kee shumuliyat khushee masrarrat aor iftekhaar kaa baae'c hai. is e'nayat ke liye mamnoon-o-mutashakker hooN.
Aap kee Ghazal lut^f de gaee. zameen kee dushwaaree kaa mujheY puraa eHsaas hai. lekin yeh yaqeen bhee hai keh majlis meN ab khuda ke faZ^l se sabhee dost kuhnah mashq haiN. aor aesee zameen un kee she'er gaoee meN deewaar nah bane gee. aap kee Ghazal bhee yahee taacur de rahee hai. mujheY khushee hai keh aap ne apne khubSurat asha'aar se aaGhaaz-e-mushae'rah kar diya hai.
kalam apnee infaradiyat aor jaazbiyat ke aa'tebaar se numaayaaN maqaam rakhtaa hai. khaaSee meHnat se kaam liya geyaa hai. sabhee asha'aar dilkash haiN. agar aap roman urdu meN bhee likh dete to tabSirah karne meN baRee aasaanee rehtee aor farda" farda" har she'er par iz^haar-e-kheyaal sehel ho jaataa. khaer meree jaanib se is khubSurat Ghazal par dilee daad aor mubarak baad qubool keejiye.
Wassalam
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
rawaN mushae'rah ke liye aap kee shumuliyat khushee masrarrat aor iftekhaar kaa baae'c hai. is e'nayat ke liye mamnoon-o-mutashakker hooN.
Aap kee Ghazal lut^f de gaee. zameen kee dushwaaree kaa mujheY puraa eHsaas hai. lekin yeh yaqeen bhee hai keh majlis meN ab khuda ke faZ^l se sabhee dost kuhnah mashq haiN. aor aesee zameen un kee she'er gaoee meN deewaar nah bane gee. aap kee Ghazal bhee yahee taacur de rahee hai. mujheY khushee hai keh aap ne apne khubSurat asha'aar se aaGhaaz-e-mushae'rah kar diya hai.
kalam apnee infaradiyat aor jaazbiyat ke aa'tebaar se numaayaaN maqaam rakhtaa hai. khaaSee meHnat se kaam liya geyaa hai. sabhee asha'aar dilkash haiN. agar aap roman urdu meN bhee likh dete to tabSirah karne meN baRee aasaanee rehtee aor farda" farda" har she'er par iz^haar-e-kheyaal sehel ho jaataa. khaer meree jaanib se is khubSurat Ghazal par dilee daad aor mubarak baad qubool keejiye.
Wassalam
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
-
jawaid badauni
- -
- Posts: 810
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
- Contact:
Azeezi MujaHid SaaHab
aadaab
aap ki tarahe gahzal nazar nawaz huuwee. achche sher kahe haiN aap ne. meri daad qubool kijieyega.
ummid hai aaindah bhi in mushairoN ki raunaq meN izafah farmyeNge.
Ek Arz yeh ahi keh maqtey meN aap ne lafz Nah ko bawazn FA istaimal kiya hai. Yeh aur Woh
alfaz ke liye aisa karne ki ijazat hai magar Nah ke liye buzurgaane Urdu ne sirf NooN aur ZABAR
ka istaimal hi durust bataya hai. nazar.e Caani kar lijiyega. agar meri baat nagawaar guzree ho
tou maAzrat khuwaah hooN.
aapka muKhliS
Jawaid Badauni
aadaab
aap ki tarahe gahzal nazar nawaz huuwee. achche sher kahe haiN aap ne. meri daad qubool kijieyega.
ummid hai aaindah bhi in mushairoN ki raunaq meN izafah farmyeNge.
Ek Arz yeh ahi keh maqtey meN aap ne lafz Nah ko bawazn FA istaimal kiya hai. Yeh aur Woh
alfaz ke liye aisa karne ki ijazat hai magar Nah ke liye buzurgaane Urdu ne sirf NooN aur ZABAR
ka istaimal hi durust bataya hai. nazar.e Caani kar lijiyega. agar meri baat nagawaar guzree ho
tou maAzrat khuwaah hooN.
aapka muKhliS
Jawaid Badauni
-
Khurshidul Hasan Naiyer
- -
- Posts: 96
- Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:23 am