EK GHAZAL:dukhe dil ki dhaRkanoN se tira Gham hay aash,kaara

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar

Post Reply
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

EK GHAZAL:dukhe dil ki dhaRkanoN se tira Gham hay aash,kaara

Post by najma »

aziz saathiyo!
adaab
ek kawish lekar hazir hooN.asaatizah kiraam ki aa,raa ki muntazir rahooNgii
Attachments
ghazal-dekhe-dil-ki-dharkanon1.gif
ghazal-dekhe-dil-ki-dharkanon1.gif (8.01 KiB) Viewed 937 times
ghazal-dekhe-dil-ki-dharkanon2.gif
ghazal-dekhe-dil-ki-dharkanon2.gif (4.74 KiB) Viewed 937 times
Last edited by najma on Wed Apr 27, 2005 11:35 pm, edited 11 times in total.
Top
zmufti
-
-
Posts: 594
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2005 6:28 am
Location: lahore
Contact:
Contact zmufti

Post by zmufti »

Najma jee
Aap ki Ghazal be had pasand aayi
Dad Qabool kijye
zarqa
Top
Ibn-e-siddique
-
-
Posts: 219
Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2004 4:12 am
Location: Doha Qatar
Contact:
Contact Ibn-e-siddique

Post by Ibn-e-siddique »

Najma baji

salaam arz hai

hamesha ki taraH aap ki ye ghazal bhi mujhe bahot pasand aayee, aap to jaanti haiN ke maiN arsa-e-daraaz se aap ke kalaam ka maddaaH hooN :)

ye zameen lagta hai aap ke liye kaafi zarkheiz caabit hui hai, meri jaanib se daad Haazir hai,q ubool farmaaiN :)

amjad
Mire ash'aar ae Iqbal kyuN pyaare na hoN mujhko
mire TooTe hue dil ke ye dard.angez naale haiN
Top
tahira Masood
-
-
Posts: 338
Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2004 7:54 pm

Post by tahira Masood »

Najma ji

salaam-e-khuloas

mashalaah aik nehaayt khoobsurat aur murassa ghazal inaayat fermaaii hai aap ne

mazaameen bhi khoob gehre heN

rawaan muslsal aurdilnasheeN

dilee daad qabul kereN

khush rehaiN
live and let live

Image
Top
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:
Contact Abdullah Nazir

Waah waah bahut khoob

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramah
Najma Ansar Saahibah

Aadaab o Tasleemaat,

Aapki yeh ghazal bahut pasand aayii jis per merii daad aur mubaarkbaad qubool farmaayiye. :-)

Choonkeh maiN aapko aek kuhnah-mashq aur nau-waaridan-e-sukhan per baalaa dasti rakhne waali shayerah samajhtaa hooN aapke mandarja-e-zail 2 sheAraoN per kuch souch kar ruknaa paRaa:
dam-e-rukhsat apne dil kii kya Ajeeb kaifiyat thii
wo nazar kii iltijaayeN, keh nah bhoolnaa khudaraa aur
hei ghamaoN ke tund ToofaaN kii shinaavari hii Azmat
wo kahaN shaheed-e-Azmat jise mil gayaa kinaaraa

pahle sheAr ke pahle misreA meiN lafz "kyaa" kii taqTeeA meiN harf "ye" shumar nahiN houtaa lekin is lafz kii "alif" ko bhii giraanaa is liye saheeh nahiN hei kiyoonke talaffuz se yeh vaazeh nahiN housakt ke wo lafz "kyaa" housaktaa hei yaa "kaa" housaktaa hei yaa "keh". Is liye lafz "kyaa" kii jagah aap lafz "bhii" isteAmal kareN tou munaasib hougaa.

Doosre sheAr meiN mafhoom paichdaar hougayaa hei. Is mein "Toofan kii shinaavari" mere liye ghair manoos phrase hei. Samundar kii /meiN shinaavari tou theek hei lekin ToofaN kii shinaavari yaa pairaki abhi tak mere ilm meiN nahiN aayi.
Agar maiN "ToofaaN kii shinaavari" ko saheeh samajh bhii looN tou doosre misreA meiN "sheed-e-Azmat" bhii iske mafhoom meiN taAqeed paidaa karrahaa hei. Main ne kisi taraH se is mafhoom ko samajhne kii koushish kii tou mere hisaab se kam se kam doosre misreA ko yooN badalnaat paRaa:
who kahaaN Hareef-e-ToofaaN jise mil gayaa kinaaraa

Hameshah kii TaraH main aap se kehnaa chaahoongaa ke aapka meri aaraa se muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN hei.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Image
Top
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Re: Waah waah bahut khoob

Post by najma »

WEBMASTER wrote:
MuHtaramah
Najma Ansar Saahibah

Aadaab o Tasleemaat,

Aapki yeh ghazal bahut pasand aayii jis per merii daad aur mubaarkbaad qubool farmaayiye. :-)

Choonkeh maiN aapko aek kuhnah-mashq aur nau-waaridan-e-sukhan per baalaa dasti rakhne waali shayerah samajhtaa hooN aapke mandarja-e-zail 2 sheAraoN per kuch souch kar ruknaa paRaa:
dam-e-rukhsat apne dil kii kya Ajeeb kaifiyat thii
wo nazar kii iltijaayeN, keh nah bhoolnaa khudaraa aur
hei ghamaoN ke tund ToofaaN kii shinaavari hii Azmat
wo kahaN shaheed-e-Azmat jise mil gayaa kinaaraa

pahle sheAr ke pahle misreA meiN lafz "kyaa" kii taqTeeA meiN harf "ye" shumar nahiN houtaa lekin is lafz kii "alif" ko bhii giraanaa is liye saheeh nahiN hei kiyoonke talaffuz se yeh vaazeh nahiN housakt ke wo lafz "kyaa" housaktaa hei yaa "kaa" housaktaa hei yaa "keh". Is liye lafz "kyaa" kii jagah aap lafz "bhii" isteAmal kareN tou munaasib hougaa.

Doosre sheAr meiN mafhoom paichdaar hougayaa hei. Is mein "Toofan kii shinaavari" mere liye ghair manoos phrase hei. Samundar kii /meiN shinaavari tou theek hei lekin ToofaN kii shinaavari yaa pairaki abhi tak mere ilm meiN nahiN aayi.
Agar maiN "ToofaaN kii shinaavari" ko saheeh samajh bhii looN tou doosre misreA meiN "sheed-e-Azmat" bhii iske mafhoom meiN taAqeed paidaa karrahaa hei. Main ne kisi taraH se is mafhoom ko samajhne kii koushish kii tou mere hisaab se kam se kam doosre misreA ko yooN badalnaat paRaa:
who kahaaN Hareef-e-ToofaaN jise mil gayaa kinaaraa

Hameshah kii TaraH main aap se kehnaa chaahoongaa ke aapka meri aaraa se muttafiq hounaa zaroori nahiN hei.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.


mohtaram abdullaah nazir sahib
assalam-o-alaikum!
sab se pehle to chahoongii keh allaah kare aap theek hoN.
arz hay keh aap jaise astizah kiraam hi ki badaulat ham jaise tifl-e-maktab zara kuch agay baRhte haiN.
aapkii raey hameare liye mish,al-e-raah se kam naheeN. bohat qadr hay keh apnii alaalat ke ba-wujood aap hamari nigarishat par islaahii nazar rakhe haiN. allaah apko himmat de, ameen.
pehla misra,a
agar yuN keh doon?

dam-e-rukhsat apni dil ki ''ik'' ajeeb----------
to kesa rahay ga?
aap ki raey darkar hay

aur doosre she,r ke liye maiN sarasar hi aap se shukriya ke saath muttafiq hooN.
ummeed hay jawab se nawazeN gay.
:-)
Top
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:
Contact Abdullah Nazir

Bahut khoob

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramah
Najma Ansar Saahibah,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aap ne zer-e-beHc pahle misreA ko yooN kiyaa hei:

Dam-e-rukhsat apni dil kii ik Ajeeb kaifiyat thii

Is meiN har "Ain" ko alif-e-mausool kii TaraH giraanaa bilkul jaayiz hei. Albattah, aapki ibaarat "apni dil kii" ko "apne dil kii" kardeN tou vazaahat ke saath samajh meiN aajayegi.

MaiN aapka mamnoon hooN ke aap ne tabaadila-e-khayaal meiN samajhne aur samjhaane ke pehloo ko qabil-e-tarjeeH samjhaa.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Image
Top
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Post by najma »

mohtaram abdullaah nazir sahib
assalam-o-alaikum!
aapka bohat shukriya
dar asl wo lafzto''apne'' hi hay, lekin ghalatii se''apni'' lkha gaya tha.
aap ka bohat shukriya
apna khayal rakhiyega
khair andesh
najma
:-)
Top
Sarwar A. Raz
-
-
Posts: 518
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Contact:
Contact Sarwar A. Raz

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

muHtarimah Najma SaaHebah: aadaab!

Ghazal par apnee naacheez ma'rooZ^aat pesh karne aayaa to dekh`aa keh us par kaafee a'alimaanah beHc pehle hee ho chukee hai. lekin chooN.k maiN likh` hee chukaa th`aa is liYe us meN munaasib tabdeeliyon ke ba'd do ek baateN a'rZ^ karne meN koyee harj naheeN ma'loom hotaa hai. ek mushkil yeh hai keh ap aap kee Ghazal naz^ar naheeN aa rahee hai! achh`aa huwaa keh maiN ne pehle hee likh` lee th`ee. to ijaazat?
-------------------------
mire dil kee dh`aRkanoN se tiraa Gham hai aashkaaraa
keh yehee Gham-e-muqaddas mire dil kaa hai sahaaraa

mujh` ko "Gham-e-muqaddas" kee tarkeeb a'jeeb see lagee. lekin yeh meree raaYe hai, aur kuch` naheeN. :mire dil: kee takraar bh`ee Ghair-Z^arooree lagee. yooN kar ke dekh` leN?

dukh`e dil kee dh`aRkanoN se tiraa Gham hai aashkaaraa
tiraa Gham hee reh gayaa hai mire dil kaa ik sahaaraa
----------------------------
woh agar milaa bh`ee mujh` ko to yeh kaisee be-basee hai?
nah majaal-e-guftgoo hai nah sukoot kaa hee yaaraa

achh`aa Khayaal hai. agar bandish chust kar dee jaaYe to shaayad behtar ho jaaYe?

woh milaa bh`ee gar to kyaa hai? miree bebasee to dekh`o!
nah majaal-e-guftgoo hai nah sukoot kaa hee yaaraa
----------------------------
kayee raNg meN numaayaaN huwaa shaahid-e-Haqeeqat
kabhee ---------------------

aap :shaahid-e-Haqeeqee: to naheeN kehnaa chaahtee th`eeN? :shaahid-e-Haqeeqat: ya'nee kyaa?
----------------------------------
#4: is she'r ne mujh` ko muta,accir naheeN kiyaa. ek naz^ar aur dekh lene meN harj naheeN hai.
--------------------------------
too naheeN to zindagaanee shab-e-taar hai keh jis meN
na fiZ^aa ---------------------

she'r achh`aa hai. daad qubool kareN. haaN, :shab-e-taar hai keh jis meN: ko :shab-e-taar ho gayee hai: kaheN to?
---------------------------------
palaT aa bich`aRne waale keh bh`aRak rahaa hai kab se
mire jism ke qafas meN miree rooH kaa sharaaraa

is ko ek baar ph`ir dekh` leejiYe. ek to :palaT aa bich`aRne waale: ko :shaa,iraanah: banaane kee Z^aroorat hai. doosre kisee :qafas: meN :sharaarah: kaa bh`aRaknaa kabh`ee dekh`aa nah sunaa. bijlee bh`ee aashyaaneh par girtee hai, qafas par naheeN. mazeed yeh bh`ee qaabil-e-Ghaur hai keh agar :jism ke qafas: meN :rooH kaa sharaarah bh`aRak: bh`ee rahaa hai to meHbooh kee waapasee se kyaa ho gaa? sharaarah apnee fit^rat ke taqaaZ^eh se yaa to bujh` jaaYe gaa yaa aag ban jaaYe gaa aur qafas ko Khaak kar de gaa. donoN SooratoN meN aap ko koyee faa,idah naheeN ho gaa! ek nuktah aur hai keh sharaarah :bh`aRaktaa: naheeN hai. haaN :sho'lah: Z^aroor bh`aRaktaa hai. yaa maiN hee Ghalat^ee par hooN?
----------------------------
dam-e-ruKhSat apne dil kee kyaa a'jeeb kaifiyat th`ee
woh naz^ar kee iltijaaYeN keh nah bh`oolnaa Khudaa-raa

doosraa miSra' bohat kamzor hai. pehle meN :kyaa: ko :ik: kar denaa behtar hai jaisaa keh aap ne likh`aa hai. doosre ko yooN kar ke dekh`eN to kyaa harj hai?

dam-e-ruKhSat apne dil kee ik a'jeeb kaifiyat th`ee
miraa har nafas th`aa Hasrat, miree har naz^ar ishaaraa
-------------------------------
hai GhamoN ke tuNd t^oofaaN kee shinaawaree hee a'z^mat
woh kahaaN shaheed-e-a'z^mat jise mil gayaa kinaaraa?

baat a'jeeb see ho kar reh gayee hai. jo t^oofaan meN tair sake woh to a'z^eem hai aur jo usee t^oofaan se laR kar kinaare par poNhach jaaYe woh naheeN hai! HaaolaaN.k doosraa shaKhS pehle se kaheeN behtar hai! aap tashreeH kar deN to behtar ho gaa.
------------------------------
Ghazal dekh` kar jo Khayaalaat Zehn meN aaYe woh be-kam-o-kaast likh` rahaa hooN. lillaah inheN kisee qism kee :iSlaaH: se ta'beer nah keejiYe gaa. agar baat pasand naheeN hai yaa Ghalat^ hai to mustarad kar deN.

ek achh`ee koshish ke liYe daad!

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Top
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Post by najma »

Sarwar Raz wrote:muHtarimah Najma SaaHebah: aadaab!

Ghazal par apnee naacheez ma'rooZ^aat pesh karne aayaa to dekh`aa keh us par kaafee a'alimaanah beHc pehle hee ho chukee hai. lekin chooN.k maiN likh` hee chukaa th`aa is liYe us meN munaasib tabdeeliyon ke ba'd do ek baateN a'rZ^ karne meN koyee harj naheeN ma'loom hotaa hai. ek mushkil yeh hai keh ap aap kee Ghazal naz^ar naheeN aa rahee hai! achh`aa huwaa keh maiN ne pehle hee likh` lee th`ee. to ijaazat?
-------------------------
mire dil kee dh`aRkanoN se tiraa Gham hai aashkaaraa
keh yehee Gham-e-muqaddas mire dil kaa hai sahaaraa

mujh` ko "Gham-e-muqaddas" kee tarkeeb a'jeeb see lagee. lekin yeh meree raaYe hai, aur kuch` naheeN. :mire dil: kee takraar bh`ee Ghair-Z^arooree lagee. yooN kar ke dekh` leN?

dukh`e dil kee dh`aRkanoN se tiraa Gham hai aashkaaraa
tiraa Gham hee reh gayaa hai mire dil kaa ik sahaaraa
========mujhe aap se ittifaaq hay aur ab maiN yehi tarkeeb rakhooN gii jo mujhe ziyada pasand bhii aaee hay======== :-)
----------------------------
woh agar milaa bh`ee mujh` ko to yeh kaisee be-basee hai?
nah majaal-e-guftgoo hai nah sukoot kaa hee yaaraa

achh`aa Khayaal hai. agar bandish chust kar dee jaaYe to shaayad behtar ho jaaYe?

woh milaa bh`ee gar to kyaa hai? miree bebasee to dekh`o!
nah majaal-e-guftgoo hai nah sukoot kaa hee yaaraa
=========waaaaah, bohat khoob :-) yahaaN to she,r ko husn milgaya hay .bohat khoob!aap ki raey sir aaNkhoN par====== :-)
----------------------------
kayee raNg meN numaayaaN huwaa shaahid-e-Haqeeqat
kabhee ---------------------

aap :shaahid-e-Haqeeqee: to naheeN kehnaa chaahtee th`eeN? :shaahid-e-Haqeeqat: ya'nee kyaa?
======jee, yahaaN mujhe ''shahid-e-haqeeqat'' aur''haqeeqee meiN ma,nawii farq na to pehle mehsoos hua tha aur na hi ab hua.please aap hi raushni daaliye ga? :oops: ======
----------------------------------
#4: is she'r ne mujh` ko muta,accir naheeN kiyaa. ek naz^ar aur dekh lene meN harj naheeN hai.
--------------------------------
too naheeN to zindagaanee shab-e-taar hai keh jis meN
na fiZ^aa ---------------------

she'r achh`aa hai. daad qubool kareN. haaN, :shab-e-taar hai keh jis meN: ko :shab-e-taar ho gayee hai: kaheN to?
=====bohat beh,tar janaab! :-) aapka ye mashwara bhi mujhe bohat pasand aayaa hay.maiN esa hi karoongii.shukriya! :-) =====
---------------------------------
palaT aa bich`aRne waale keh bh`aRak rahaa hai kab se
mire jism ke qafas meN miree rooH kaa sharaaraa

is ko ek baar ph`ir dekh` leejiYe. ek to :palaT aa bich`aRne waale: ko :shaa,iraanah: banaane kee Z^aroorat hai. doosre kisee :qafas: meN :sharaarah: kaa bh`aRaknaa kabh`ee dekh`aa nah sunaa. bijlee bh`ee aashyaaneh par girtee hai, qafas par naheeN. mazeed yeh bh`ee qaabil-e-Ghaur hai keh agar :jism ke qafas: meN :rooH kaa sharaarah bh`aRak: bh`ee rahaa hai to meHbooh kee waapasee se kyaa ho gaa? sharaarah apnee fit^rat ke taqaaZ^eh se yaa to bujh` jaaYe gaa yaa aag ban jaaYe gaa aur qafas ko Khaak kar de gaa. donoN SooratoN meN aap ko koyee faa,idah naheeN ho gaa! ek nuktah aur hai keh sharaarah :bh`aRaktaa: naheeN hai. haaN :sho'lah: Z^aroor bh`aRaktaa hai. yaa maiN hee Ghalat^ee par hooN?
----------------------------
dam-e-ruKhSat apne dil kee kyaa a'jeeb kaifiyat th`ee
woh naz^ar kee iltijaaYeN keh nah bh`oolnaa Khudaa-raa

doosraa miSra' bohat kamzor hai. pehle meN :kyaa: ko :ik: kar denaa behtar hai jaisaa keh aap ne likh`aa hai. doosre ko yooN kar ke dekh`eN to kyaa harj hai?

dam-e-ruKhSat apne dil kee ik a'jeeb kaifiyat th`ee
miraa har nafas th`aa Hasrat, miree har naz^ar ishaaraa
-------------------------------
hai GhamoN ke tuNd t^oofaaN kee shinaawaree hee a'z^mat
woh kahaaN shaheed-e-a'z^mat jise mil gayaa kinaaraa?

baat a'jeeb see ho kar reh gayee hai. jo t^oofaan meN tair sake woh to a'z^eem hai aur jo usee t^oofaan se laR kar kinaare par poNhach jaaYe woh naheeN hai! HaaolaaN.k doosraa shaKhS pehle se kaheeN behtar hai! aap tashreeH kar deN to behtar ho gaa.
------------------------------
Ghazal dekh` kar jo Khayaalaat Zehn meN aaYe woh be-kam-o-kaast likh` rahaa hooN. lillaah inheN kisee qism kee :iSlaaH: se ta'beer nah keejiYe gaa. agar baat pasand naheeN hai yaa Ghalat^ hai to mustarad kar deN.

ek achh`ee koshish ke liYe daad!

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:

JANAB S.A.RAZ.:SARWAR: SAHIB!
maiN aapki be-had mamnoon hooN keh aap ne apne qeematee waqt aur mashware swe merii kawish ko sanwaar diya.
abhi maiN sab to naheeN dekh paaee, lekin insha allaah jum.a ye haftah ko phir wapis aa kar baqii khat mukammal karoongii.abhi mujhe mulk se bahar jana hay.
ek bar phir shukriya.
khair andesh
najma
:-)
Top
User avatar
Abdullah Nazir
-
-
Posts: 2681
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:16 am
Location: Jeddah
Contact:
Contact Abdullah Nazir

MuHtarami Sarwar Saahib ke liye

Post by Abdullah Nazir »



MaiN yahaaN is liye Haazir houaa hooN taakeh MuHtaram Ustaad Sarwar saahib se guzaarish karuN ke wo apne tabsireh per nazar-e-caani kareN aur shaksi tasavvur kii bajaye qawaaid ka zikr kareN. Is se ham sab ke ilm meiN izaafah hougaa.

Jaise "gham-e-muqaddas" kii tarkeeb ko ghalat kehna
Jaise aek sheAr meiN aek takraar ko qabeeH qaraar dekar apni tajveez meiN waisi hii takraar rakhnaa
jaise shaahid-e-Haqeeqat (haqeeqat ka gawaah) kii tasHeeH "shaahid-e-Haqeeqi se karnaa.

Yeh sab un se poochne kaa sabab yeh hei ke hamaare ilm meiN izaafah housake. Agar sirf souchkar khaamoush rehjaayenge tou phir hameN kaun bataayegaa. Shukriyah.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.
Image
Top
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Post by najma »

JANAB S.A.RAZ:SARWAR: SAHIB!
assalam -o-alaikum


palaT aa bich`aRne waale keh bh`aRak rahaa hai kab se
mire jism ke qafas meN miree rooH kaa sharaaraa

is ko ek baar ph`ir dekh` leejiYe. ek to :palaT aa bich`aRne waale: ko :shaa,iraanah: banaane kee Z^aroorat hai. doosre kisee :qafas: meN :sharaarah: kaa bh`aRaknaa kabh`ee dekh`aa nah sunaa. bijlee bh`ee aashyaaneh par girtee hai, qafas par naheeN. mazeed yeh bh`ee qaabil-e-Ghaur hai keh agar :jism ke qafas: meN :rooH kaa sharaarah bh`aRak: bh`ee rahaa hai to meHbooh kee waapasee se kyaa ho gaa? sharaarah apnee fit^rat ke taqaaZ^eh se yaa to bujh` jaaYe gaa yaa aag ban jaaYe gaa aur qafas ko Khaak kar de gaa. donoN SooratoN meN aap ko koyee faa,idah naheeN ho gaa! ek nuktah aur hai keh sharaarah :bh`aRaktaa: naheeN hai. haaN :sho'lah: Z^aroor bh`aRaktaa hai. yaa maiN hee Ghalat^ee par hooN?
===agar is sher ko esa keH dooN to kesa rahega?====== :?

===palat aa bichaRne wale!/mujhe phooNk hi na daale, keh SULAG rahaa hay kab se===== :?
===mire jism ke qafas meiN mirii rooh ka sharara===== :?

jab-keh jane wale se kehna ye chaah rahii hooN keh merii maut se qabl palat aey, tta-k uska deedaar to kar looN.
===============================================ddam-e-ruKhSat apne dil kee kyaa a'jeeb kaifiyat th`ee
woh naz^ar kee iltijaaYeN keh nah bh`oolnaa Khudaa-raa

doosraa miSra' bohat kamzor hai. pehle meN :kyaa: ko :ik: kar denaa behtar hai jaisaa keh aap ne likh`aa hai. doosre ko yooN kar ke dekh`eN to kyaa harj hai?

dam-e-ruKhSat apne dil kee ik a'jeeb kaifiyat th`ee
miraa har nafas th`aa Hasrat, miree har naz^ar ishaaraa
=======yahaaN mujhe aap se ittifaaq hay, doosra misr,a ab haseen hogaya hay=======shukriya :-)
-------------------------------
hai GhamoN ke tuNd t^oofaaN kee shinaawaree hee a'z^mat
woh kahaaN shaheed-e-a'z^mat jise mil gayaa kinaaraa?

baat a'jeeb see ho kar reh gayee hai. jo t^oofaan meN tair sake woh to a'z^eem hai aur jo usee t^oofaan se laR kar kinaare par poNhach jaaYe woh naheeN hai! HaaolaaN.k doosraa shaKhS pehle se kaheeN behtar hai! aap tashreeH kar deN to behtar ho gaa.
=====ba,z ash,aar ki jis soorat aamad hoti hay, wese hi rehne detii hooN, yahaaN maiN maa,navi lihaaz se do bateiN ek saath keh gaee hooN ghaliban, jo mujhe do mukhtalif ash,aar meiN kehnii chahiyeN theeN. :oops:
arz ye karna chaah rahii hooN keh, go keh GhamoN ke in tuaNd toofaanoN ki shinawarii hi azmat hay, lekin na-kaam hokar kinare aa-lagna ''shaheed-e-azmat''naheeN hay.na-kaami ki soorat meiN to Ghar-e-aab hi hojana azmat hay. :-)
=================================================
she,r #4
naey daur ke khudao! had-e-zindagii meiN aaoo
ye nizam-e-gum-rahii hay, ise badlo ab khudaraa

ye she,r un rah-numaaOn(khudaaoN) ki taraf ishara hay,jin ki iqtidaar ki havas kabhi poorii naheeN hoti, aur jo iqtidaar ki havas meiN ilm-e- nujoom k maahiroN se rujoo, karte aur mazaaroN per mannateN maante aur chadareN chaRhate haiN.
================================================
JANAB S.A.RAZ:SARWAR: SAHIB!
assalam -o-alaikum
muaf kijieyga.jawab do qistoN meiN diya hay.aap ki is shafqat ke liye be-had mamnoon hooN
aap ke jawaab ka intizaar rahega.
khair andesh
najma
:-)
Last edited by najma on Sat Apr 23, 2005 2:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
Top
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Post by najma »

Ibn-e-siddique wrote:Najma baji

salaam arz hai

hamesha ki taraH aap ki ye ghazal bhi mujhe bahot pasand aayee, aap to jaanti haiN ke maiN arsa-e-daraaz se aap ke kalaam ka maddaaH hooN :)

ye zameen lagta hai aap ke liye kaafi zarkheiz caabit hui hai, meri jaanib se daad Haazir hai,q ubool farmaaiN :)

amjad

azizam amjad!
aap ka kehna bilkul bajaa.aap ne hamesha meri hausla-afzaaee farmaaee hay.bohat mamnoon hoon :grin: .raha zameen ka
:grin: , yaqeen kijiye keh agar zarkhez mehsoos na hoto maiN us meiN she,r keh hi naheeN saktii. :lol: :lol: :lol:
aapki daad sir aankhoN par :grin:
ummeed hay k aainda bhi isi tarah hausla-afzaaee farmate raheNgay.
sada khush rahiye
:-)
Top
najma
-
-
Posts: 1213
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:37 pm

Post by najma »

zmufti wrote:Najma jee
Aap ki Ghazal be had pasand aayi
Dad Qabool kijye
zarqa


azizi zarqa!
aap ka bohat shukriya keh aap ne meri kawish ko pasand kiya.
sada khush rahiye
:grin:
Top
Sarwar A. Raz
-
-
Posts: 518
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Contact:
Contact Sarwar A. Raz

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

Najma SaaHebah: aadaab!

jawaab ke liYe mamnoon hooN. :sharaarah: waale she'r meN aap kee tarmeem mujh` ko pasand aayee! daad!!

aap kee tashreeHaat bh`ee naz^ar se guZreeN. baaqee aap Khud hee dekh` leN gee. ek kaamyaab koshish par mubaarakbaad.

Ansar SaaHeb ko salaam aur dua'a-e-SeHat!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Kalaam-e-Sukhanwar”