kare qarZ^ tere adaa koyee ai nigaah-e-yaar kahaaN talak?

[Sarwar A. Raz]

yaaraan-e-meHfil: aadaab-o-tasleemaat!

ek taazah Ghazal le kar HaaZ^ir-e-Khidmat ho rahaa hooN. yeh Ghazal chand sanjeedah lamHaat kee yaadgaar hai aur isee liYe is meN jaZbaat-nigaaree kee talaash besood ho gee. Ghazal kee zameen (iKhtiyaar kahaaN talak, nigaah-e-yaar kahaaN talak) KhaaSee mushkil hai. ph`ir har miSre' meN bh`ee ek andaroonee :qaafiyeh: kaa ihtimaam kiyaa gayaa hai. aisee Soorat meN alfaaz^ kaa intiKhaab aur unkee bandish nihaayat aham ho jaate haiN. is kaa andaazah aap ko ho jaaYe gaa agar aap isee zameen meN isee iltizaam ke saath` asha'ar kehne kee koshish kareN.

ab aap yeh nah sochne lagiYe gaa keh is Ghazal kaa maqSad apnee she're-goyee kee SalaaHiyat kee numaa,ish karnaa hai! aisee koyee baat naheeN hai kyoN.k mujh`e aisee kisee numaa,ish se koyee dilchaspee naheeN hai aur nah hee is kee koyee Z^aroorat hee hai!

meree darKhwaast hai keh aap Ghazal Ghaur se paRh`eN aur us par apnee belaag raaYe likh`eN. yeh :aawurd: kee Ghazal hai, har-chand keh is ke bohat se maZ^aameen :aamad: ke haiN. nau-mashq eHbaab ko Ghazal "haZ^m" karne meN kuch` waqt lag saktaa hai lekin agar woh meHnat aur shauq se alfaaz^ ke intiKhaab aur un kee nashist-o-barKhwaast ko samjh`eN ge to she'r-goyee ke kuch` aham aur dilkash nikaat un par waaZ^eH ho jaaYeN ge. isee ko Ghazal kaa jawaaz farZ^ kar leejiYe! ab aap apnee raaYe likh`iYe aur mujh` ko ijaazat deejiYe!

maiN ne mushkil alfaaz^ ke ma'nee likh` diYe haiN. shaayad kisee ke kaam aa jaaYeN!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
============================
GHAZAL:

kare qarZ^ tere adaa koyee, ai nigaah-e-yaar! kahaaN talak?
sar-e-t^oor-e-Hasrat-o-aarzoo tiraa intiz^aar kahaaN talak?

tire i'shq kaa hai a'jab safar, nah daleel koyee, nah raahbar
yeh bataa chaleN isee raah par, tire jaaN-nicaar kahaaN talak?

nah Khudee meN th`ee miree ibtidaa, nah hee be-Khudee miree intihaa
kaheeN darmiyaan meN kh`o gayaa! yeh rasan, yeh daar kahaaN talak?

yeh fareb-e-Hasrat-o-aarzoo, yeh saraab-e-maujah-e-raNg-o-boo!
tiraa Dh`ooNDnaa use koo-ba-koo, dil-e-beqaraar! kahaaN talak?

miree taNgnaaYe-Ghazal idh`ar, tire Husn kaa woh bayaaN udh`ar
mujh`e har gh`aRee hai yehee to Dar, keh rahooN maiN Khwaar kahaaN talak?

haiN rawish-rawish peh tire karam, nah huwe kabh`ee nah yeh hoN ge kam!
gul-e-sar-bareedah qadam-qadam, Gham-e-nok-e-Khaar kahaaN talak?

miraa dil azal se hai nauHah-gar, rahee Khoon-fishaaN miree chashm-e-tar
miree zeest apne mazaar par, rahe sogawaar kahaaN talak?

miree bebasee, tiree kaj-rawee! miree a'ajizee, tiree Khud-saree!
hai umeed-e-daad kee Had koyee? rahooN be-waqaar kahaaN talak?

mire jism-o-jaaN, mire roz-o-shab! mire SubH-o-shaam tire haiN sab!
mire Haal-o-qaal mire haiN kab? tiraa iKhtiyaar kahaaN talak?

hai a'jeeb meree yeh justjoo, kabh`ee too hai maiN, kabh`ee maiN hooN too!
yooN hee Dh`ooND-taa ph`irooN chaar-soo tujh`e Husn-e-yaar! kahaaN talak?

rah-e-shaai'ree meN qadam baRh`aa, Zaraa soch "Sarwar"-e-Khastah-paa
tire fikr-o-Khwaab-o-Khayaal kaa jo hai intishaar, kahaaN talak?
===============================
t^oor = woh pahaaR jis par Quran ke mut^aabiq HaZ^rat Moosaa (Moses) ko irfaan-e-ilaahee HaaSil huwaa th`aa
sar-e-t^oor = t^oor ke oopar
sar-e-t^oor-e-Hasrat-o-aarzoo = Hasrat aur aarzoo ke t^oor par
daleel = saRak ke kinaare bane huwe meel ke nishaan
rasan = rassee
daar = soolee (gallows)
rasan-o-daar = soolee = saKht aazmaa,ish
saraab = mirage
maujah = mauj = wave
koo-ba-koo = galee galee
taNgnaaYe = ch`oTee aur uth`lee nahr (canal)
Khwaar = badnaam
rawish = kyaaree = row
sar-bareedah = kaTe huwe sar ke saath`
nok-e-Khaar = kaaNToN kee nok
kaj-rawee = teRh`ee chaal = arrogance
Haal-o-qaal = saaraa wujood (literally: "meraa har Haal aur har baat")
Khastah-paa = TooTe huwq paa,ooN waalaa

[najma]

yaaraan-e-meHfil: aadaab-o-tasleemaat!

ek taazah Ghazal le kar HaaZ^ir-e-Khidmat ho rahaa hooN. yeh Ghazal chand sanjeedah lamHaat kee yaadgaar hai aur isee liYe is meN jaZbaat-nigaaree kee talaash besood ho gee. Ghazal kee zameen (iKhtiyaar kahaaN talak, nigaah-e-yaar kahaaN talak) KhaaSee mushkil hai. ph`ir har miSre' meN bh`ee ek andaroonee :qaafiyeh: kaa ihtimaam kiyaa gayaa hai. aisee Soorat meN alfaaz^ kaa intiKhaab aur unkee bandish nihaayat aham ho jaate haiN. is kaa andaazah aap ko ho jaaYe gaa agar aap isee zameen meN isee iltizaam ke saath` asha'ar kehne kee koshish kareN.

ab aap yeh nah sochne lagiYe gaa keh is Ghazal kaa maqSad apnee she're-goyee kee SalaaHiyat kee numaa,ish karnaa hai! aisee koyee baat naheeN hai kyoN.k mujh`e aisee kisee numaa,ish se koyee dilchaspee naheeN hai aur nah hee is kee koyee Z^aroorat hee hai!

meree darKhwaast hai keh aap Ghazal Ghaur se paRh`eN aur us par apnee belaag raaYe likh`eN. yeh :aawurd: kee Ghazal hai, har-chand keh is ke bohat se maZ^aameen :aamad: ke haiN. nau-mashq eHbaab ko Ghazal "haZ^m" karne meN kuch` waqt lag saktaa hai lekin agar woh meHnat aur shauq se alfaaz^ ke intiKhaab aur un kee nashist-o-barKhwaast ko samjh`eN ge to she'r-goyee ke kuch` aham aur dilkash nikaat un par waaZ^eH ho jaaYeN ge. isee ko Ghazal kaa jawaaz farZ^ kar leejiYe! ab aap apnee raaYe likh`iYe aur mujh` ko ijaazat deejiYe!

maiN ne mushkil alfaaz^ ke ma'nee likh` diYe haiN. shaayad kisee ke kaam aa jaaYeN!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
============================
GHAZAL:

kare qarZ^ tere adaa koyee, ai nigaah-e-yaar! kahaaN talak?
sar-e-t^oor-e-Hasrat-o-aarzoo tiraa intiz^aa kahaaN talak?

tire i'shq kaa hai a'jab safar, nah daleel koyee, nah raahbar
yeh bataa chaleN isee raah par, tire jaaN-nicaar kahaaN talak?

nah Khudee meN th`ee miree ibtidaa, nah hee be-Khudee miree intihaa
kaheeN darmiyaan meN kh`o gayaa! yeh rasan, yeh daar kahaaN talak?

yeh fareb-e-Hasrat-o-aarzoo, yeh saraab-e-maujah-e-raNg-o-boo!
tiraa Dh`ooNDnaa use koo-ba-koo, dil-e-beqaraar! kahaaN talak?

miree taNgnaaYe-Ghazal idh`ar, tire Husn kaa woh bayaaN udh`ar
mujh`e har gh`aRee hai yehee to Dar, keh rahooN maiN Khwaar kahaaN talak?

haiN rawish-rawish peh tire karam, nah huwe kabh`ee nah yeh hoN ge kam!
gul-e-sar-bareedah qadam-qadam, Gham-e-nok-e-Khaar kahaaN talak?

miraa dil azal se hai nauHah-gar, rahee Khoon-fishaaN miree chashm-e-tar
miree zeest apne mazaar par, rahe sogawaar kahaaN talak?

miree bebasee, tiree kaj-rawee! miree a'ajizee, tiree Khud-saree!
hai umeed-e-daad kee Had koyee? rahooN be-waqaar kahaaN talak?

mire jism-o-jaaN, mire roz-o-shab! mire SubH-o-shaam tire haiN sab!
mire Haal-o-qaal mire haiN kab? tiraa iKhtiyaar kahaaN talak?

hai a'jeeb meree yeh justjoo, kabh`ee too hai maiN, kabh`ee maiN hooN too!
yooN hee Dh`ooND-taa ph`irooN chaar-soo tujh`e Husn-e-yaar! kahaaN talak?

rah-e-shaai'ree meN qadam baRh`aa, Zaraa soch "Sarwar"-e-Khastah-paa
tire fikr-o-Khwaab-o-Khayaal kaa jo hai intishaar, kahaaN talak?
===============================
t^oor = woh pahaaR jis par Quran ke mut^aabiq HaZ^rat Moosaa (Moses) ko irfaan-e-ilaahee HaaSil huwaa th`aa
sar-e-t^oor = t^oor ke oopar
sar-e-t^oor-e-Hasrat-o-aarzoo = Hasrat aur aarzoo ke t^oor par
daleel = saRak ke kinaare bane huwe meel ke nishaan
rasan = rassee
daar = soolee (gallows)
rasan-o-daar = soolee = saKht aazmaa,ish
saraab = mirage
maujah = mauj = wave
koo-ba-koo = galee galee
taNgnaaYe = ch`oTee aur uth`lee nahr (canal)
Khwaar = badnaam
rawish = kyaaree = row
sar-bareedah = kaTe huwe sar ke saath`
nok-e-Khaar = kaaNToN kee nok
kaj-rawee = teRh`ee chaal = arrogance
Haal-o-qaal = saaraa wujood (literally: "meraa har Haal aur har baat")
Khastah-paa = TooTe huwq paa,ooN waalaa

JANAB S.A.RAZ:SARWAR:SAHIB!
ASSALAM-O-ALAIKUM
ek aur khoobsoorat ghazal paRh ke dil khush hua.aap ka ye kalaam bhi bohat umdah hay.har lafz apne ma,aanii aur mauzuniyyat ke saath ash,aar meiN jaRa hua hay.tasalsull bhi pasand ayaa hay.

nah Khudee meN th`ee miree ibtidaa, nah hee be-Khudee miree intihaa
kaheeN darmiyaan meN kh`o gayaa! yeh rasan, yeh daar kahaaN talak?
=====waaaaaaaaah, kya khoob farmaya hay aapne======

haiN rawish-rawish peh tire karam, nah huwe kabh`ee nah yeh hoN ge kam!
gul-e-sar-bareedah qadam-qadam, Gham-e-nok-e-Khaar kahaaN talak?

======bohat umdah, masha allaah========

rah-e-shaai'ree meN qadam baRh`aa, Zaraa soch "Sarwar"-e-Khastah-paa
tire fikr-o-Khwaab-o-Khayaal kaa jo hai intishaar, kahaaN talak

=============maqta,a ki kya baat hay janaab! bohat hi khoob. ====


ye ash,aar khusoosi taur pe bohat hi pasand aey.
dheroN daad qubool kijiye
khair andesh
najma

[naheedv]

yaaraan-e-meHfil: aadaab-o-tasleemaat!

ek taazah Ghazal le kar HaaZ^ir-e-Khidmat ho rahaa hooN. yeh Ghazal chand sanjeedah lamHaat kee yaadgaar hai aur isee liYe is meN jaZbaat-nigaaree kee talaash besood ho gee. Ghazal kee zameen (iKhtiyaar kahaaN talak, nigaah-e-yaar kahaaN talak) KhaaSee mushkil hai. ph`ir har miSre' meN bh`ee ek andaroonee :qaafiyeh: kaa ihtimaam kiyaa gayaa hai. aisee Soorat meN alfaaz^ kaa intiKhaab aur unkee bandish nihaayat aham ho jaate haiN. is kaa andaazah aap ko ho jaaYe gaa agar aap isee zameen meN isee iltizaam ke saath` asha'ar kehne kee koshish kareN.

ab aap yeh nah sochne lagiYe gaa keh is Ghazal kaa maqSad apnee she're-goyee kee SalaaHiyat kee numaa,ish karnaa hai! aisee koyee baat naheeN hai kyoN.k mujh`e aisee kisee numaa,ish se koyee dilchaspee naheeN hai aur nah hee is kee koyee Z^aroorat hee hai!

meree darKhwaast hai keh aap Ghazal Ghaur se paRh`eN aur us par apnee belaag raaYe likh`eN. yeh :aawurd: kee Ghazal hai, har-chand keh is ke bohat se maZ^aameen :aamad: ke haiN. nau-mashq eHbaab ko Ghazal "haZ^m" karne meN kuch` waqt lag saktaa hai lekin agar woh meHnat aur shauq se alfaaz^ ke intiKhaab aur un kee nashist-o-barKhwaast ko samjh`eN ge to she'r-goyee ke kuch` aham aur dilkash nikaat un par waaZ^eH ho jaaYeN ge. isee ko Ghazal kaa jawaaz farZ^ kar leejiYe! ab aap apnee raaYe likh`iYe aur mujh` ko ijaazat deejiYe!

maiN ne mushkil alfaaz^ ke ma'nee likh` diYe haiN. shaayad kisee ke kaam aa jaaYeN!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
============================
GHAZAL:

kare qarZ^ tere adaa koyee, ai nigaah-e-yaar! kahaaN talak?
sar-e-t^oor-e-Hasrat-o-aarzoo tiraa intiz^aa kahaaN talak?

tire i'shq kaa hai a'jab safar, nah daleel koyee, nah raahbar
yeh bataa chaleN isee raah par, tire jaaN-nicaar kahaaN talak?

nah Khudee meN th`ee miree ibtidaa, nah hee be-Khudee miree intihaa
kaheeN darmiyaan meN kh`o gayaa! yeh rasan, yeh daar kahaaN talak?

yeh fareb-e-Hasrat-o-aarzoo, yeh saraab-e-maujah-e-raNg-o-boo!
tiraa Dh`ooNDnaa use koo-ba-koo, dil-e-beqaraar! kahaaN talak?

miree taNgnaaYe-Ghazal idh`ar, tire Husn kaa woh bayaaN udh`ar
mujh`e har gh`aRee hai yehee to Dar, keh rahooN maiN Khwaar kahaaN talak?

haiN rawish-rawish peh tire karam, nah huwe kabh`ee nah yeh hoN ge kam!
gul-e-sar-bareedah qadam-qadam, Gham-e-nok-e-Khaar kahaaN talak?

miraa dil azal se hai nauHah-gar, rahee Khoon-fishaaN miree chashm-e-tar
miree zeest apne mazaar par, rahe sogawaar kahaaN talak?

miree bebasee, tiree kaj-rawee! miree a'ajizee, tiree Khud-saree!
hai umeed-e-daad kee Had koyee? rahooN be-waqaar kahaaN talak?

mire jism-o-jaaN, mire roz-o-shab! mire SubH-o-shaam tire haiN sab!
mire Haal-o-qaal mire haiN kab? tiraa iKhtiyaar kahaaN talak?

hai a'jeeb meree yeh justjoo, kabh`ee too hai maiN, kabh`ee maiN hooN too!
yooN hee Dh`ooND-taa ph`irooN chaar-soo tujh`e Husn-e-yaar! kahaaN talak?

rah-e-shaai'ree meN qadam baRh`aa, Zaraa soch "Sarwar"-e-Khastah-paa
tire fikr-o-Khwaab-o-Khayaal kaa jo hai intishaar, kahaaN talak?
===============================
t^oor = woh pahaaR jis par Quran ke mut^aabiq HaZ^rat Moosaa (Moses) ko irfaan-e-ilaahee HaaSil huwaa th`aa
sar-e-t^oor = t^oor ke oopar
sar-e-t^oor-e-Hasrat-o-aarzoo = Hasrat aur aarzoo ke t^oor par
daleel = saRak ke kinaare bane huwe meel ke nishaan
rasan = rassee
daar = soolee (gallows)
rasan-o-daar = soolee = saKht aazmaa,ish
saraab = mirage
maujah = mauj = wave
koo-ba-koo = galee galee
taNgnaaYe = ch`oTee aur uth`lee nahr (canal)
Khwaar = badnaam
rawish = kyaaree = row
sar-bareedah = kaTe huwe sar ke saath`
nok-e-Khaar = kaaNToN kee nok
kaj-rawee = teRh`ee chaal = arrogance
Haal-o-qaal = saaraa wujood (literally: "meraa har Haal aur har baat")
Khastah-paa = TooTe huwq paa,ooN waalaa

Mohtaram janaab Sarwar saahab,
aadaab,

aaj thoRaa vaqt milaa tau idhar forums kaa visit kiyaa aur aap kee ye khobsoorat ghazal paRhne ko milee.
ghaza gau ke aap ke ikhtiyaari koshish hai magar har she'r iss liye laajawaab hai ke ise khoobsoorat banaane meN aap kee sha'ooree koshish bhee shaamil rahee ho gee.

bahar.kaif, aap kaa kalaam tau hamesha hee aik misha'l.e.raah kaa kaam kartaa hai aur iss ghazal ne bhee buhat kuch sikhaayaa!
iss umdaah kaavish par daad paish karti hooN.

mukhliS
Naheed

[Sarwar A. Raz]

Najma SaaHebah: aadaab!

Khat^ kaa dilee shukriyah! Ghazal kee ta'reef meN aap ne nacr meN hee ek Ghazal keh dee hai! waise is Ghazal par kam logoN ne raaYe dee hai. mumkin hai ke is kaa sabab Ghazal kaa ishkaal ho yaa yeh bh`ee ho saktaa hai keh maiN asha'ar meN apnaa mat^lab samjh`aane se qaaSir rahaa hooN.

Khudaa aap kee muHabbat aur dost-daaree qaa,im rakh`e!

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:

[Sarwar A. Raz]

Naheed SaaHebah: aadaab!

aap kahaaN Ghaa,ib haiN aaj kal? ho saktaa hai keh kitaab kee ishaa,a't meN maSroof hoN. aatee rahaa keejiYe.

Ghazal kee pasandeedagee ke liYe mutashakkir hooN. aap kee suKhan-fehmee to mustanad hai is liYe aap kee daad bh`ee mustanad! shukriyah.

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:

[Sarwar A. Raz]

mukarramee Dunya SaaHeb: aadaab!

nawaazish aur tabSireh ke liYe mamnoon hooN. aap ke Khayaalaat par maiN mazeed sochooN gaa. f.ilHaal itnaa likh`naa hee kaafee hai keh:

(1) :hone: aur :nah hone: ke darmiyaan kee kaifiyyat ko Ghalib ne yooN bayaan kiyaa hai:

nah th`aa kuch` to Khudaa th`aa, kuch` nah hotaa to Khudaa hotaa
Duboyaa mujh` ko hone ne, nah hotaa maiN to kyaa hotaa

waise maiN ne apne she'r meN ek dilee kaifiyyat bayaan kee hai. kisee falsafeh kaa Khayaal bh`ee Zehn meN naheeN th`aa.

(2) :gul-e-sar-bareedah: se agar Sirf :gul-e-sar-bareedah: hee samajh` liyaa jaaYe to koyee harj naheeN hai!

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:

[Abdullah Nazir]

MuHtaramii
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar: Saahib,

Putkhuloos TAsleemaat,


Aapkii ghazal bahut hii mutarannim aur dilkash hei. Saare ashAar beHad pasand aaye. MaiN Dunya Saahibah kii aaraa per chaunk paRaa ke unhouN ne aapke aek sheAr kii geometric tashreeH karke yeh cuboot dene kii koushish kii ke jab kisi khat kii nah ibtidaa hou aur nah intihaa tou uske darmiyaani Hisseh ke kiyaa mani. YahaaN maiN un se ikhtilaaf kartaa hooN aur yeh kehnaa chaahoongaa ke aadamii jo kuch dekhtaa hei uskii haqeeqat kuch aur housaktii hei. Jaise aek shoAbadahgar hamaarii nazar per ghalbah paaletaa hei aur hamaari souchne samajhne kii salaahiyyat kaam nahiN karsaktii.

Aap ne apne javaab meiN likhkhaa hei:

((((1) :hone: aur :nah hone: ke darmiyaan kee kaifiyyat ko Ghalib ne yooN bayaan kiyaa hai:

nah th`aa kuch` to Khudaa th`aa, kuch` nah hotaa to Khudaa hotaa
Duboyaa mujh` ko hone ne, nah hotaa maiN to kyaa hotaa

waise maiN ne apne she'r meN ek dilee kaifiyyat bayaan kee hai. kisee falsafeh kaa Khayaal bh`ee Zehn meN naheeN th`aa. )))

Is se aap ne yeh vaaziH kiyaa hei ke aapka ishaarah kis Taraf hei gou keh Ghalib ne wajood o Adam ke falsafeh kaa sahaaraa liyaa hei. Phir bhii nazarii Taur per maiN aapkii ibaarat se muttafiq hooN.

Aakhir meiN, is dilkash ghazal per meri bharpoor daad aur mubaarakbaad qubool farmaayiye.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

[Sarwar A. Raz]

muHtaramee Nazir SaaHeb:aadaab!

Khat^ aur daad donoN ke liYe mamnoon hooN. in meHfiloN kee ek baRee ifaadiyat yeh hai keh muKhtalif andaaz-e-fikr naz^ar aate haiN aur sochne samajh`ne kaa mauqa' miltaa hai. maiN aap kee tashreeHaat kaa mo'tarif hooN. shukriyah!

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar: