be-t^aur, be-HuZ^oor rahooN, be-nishaaN rahooN!

Post by **Sarwar A. Raz** » Thu May 19, 2005 6:05 am

yaaraan-e-bazm: aadaab a'rZ^ hai!

idh`ar tabee,a't kuch` tajribaat karne kee jaanib maa,il hai. Khudaa-e-suKhan Mir Taqi "Mir" ke raNg meN Ghazal-goyee kee koshish bh`ee isee Khalish kaa ek maz^har hai. aaj ek taazah Ghazal le kar HaaZ^ir ho rahaa hooN. is meN maiN ne kuch` tarkeebeN aur a'laamaatt ista'maal kee haiN jo shaayad Ghair-maanoos ma'loom hoN. chooN.k yeh :aamad: (spontaneity) kee Ghazal hai lihaaZah is par ziyaadah sochaa bh`ee naheeN hai. aap kee raaYe aur tabSireh kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. ummeed hai keh maayoos naheeN farmaaYeN ge. shukriyah maiN peshagee hee HaaZ^ir kiYe detaa hooN!

darj-e-Zel Ghazal a'zeezam Zia Baloch kee isee zameen aur beHr meN us Ghazal kee teHreek kaa nateejah hai jo unhoN ne Haal hee meN i'naayat kee hai. zameen itnee dilkash lagee keh be-iKhtiyaar Ghazal kehne baiTh` gayaa! aur isee Hawaaleh se yeh taKhleeq Zia kee naZr hai! gar qubool uftad, zahe i'zzo-sharaf!

maiN akcar Zia aur doosroN se kehtaa hooN keh apne kalaam ko "baland karne" kee koshish kareN". "kalaam kee balandee" se meree muraad Khayaal aur bayaan donoN ko behtar banaane se hai. yeh Z^arooree naheeN hai keh aisee koshish hameshah hee kaamyaab ho. albattah is mashq se nayee soch ke bohat se darwaaze kh`ul sakte haiN. ho saktaa hai keh Ghazal paRh`te waqt aap ke Zehn meN ba'Z^ maqaamaat par sawaalaat ubh`reN. agar yeh Ghazal Sirf yehee kar sake keh aap ke Zauq-e-intiqaad ko aNgez kare to mere nazdeek yeh ek kaamyaab kaawish ho gee!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
----------------------------------------
Ghazal:

be-t^aur, be-HuZ^oor rahooN, be-nishaaN rahooN!
maiN kab talak shikaar-e-Gham-e-do-jahaaN rahooN?

shaidaa,ee-e-Haram rahooN, meHv-e-butaaN rahooN?
gar too hai ek to yeh bataa maiN kahaaN rahooN?

meree naz^ar meN hai yehee me'raaj-e-a'ashiqee
maanind-e-shama'-e-meHfil-e-SaaHib dilaaN rahooN!

ab is qadar bh`ee mujh` ko nah be-baal-o-par samajh`!
maiN aur Said-e-gardish-e-kaun-o-makaaN rahooN?

tujh` meN jo kh`o gayaa to huwaa apnaa saamnaa!
ab sochtaa hooN, Khud se maiN ch`up kar kahaaN rahooN?

gar zeest ek kaargah-e-hast-o-bood hai
ph`ir farq kyaa keh yaaN rahooN maiN yaa wahaaN rahooN?

too hai jo ek pal to naheeN doosre hee pal!
maiN kab talak miyaan-e-yaqeen-o-gumaaN rahooN?

uftaadagee hee durd-e-suboo-e-Hayaat hai!
maiN laakh Sarf-e-maikadah-e-een-o-aaN rahooN!

koyee nah ho balaa se shareek-e-namaaz-e-i'shq
"Sarwar" miraa yeh farZ^ hai meHv-e-aZaaN rahooN!
-----------------------------------
be-t^aur = beHaal (frustrated)
be-HuZ^oor = pareshaan
Haram = Ka'bah
butaaN = but (moortee) kee jama'
Said = qaidee, shikaar
SaaHib dilaaN = "Mir" kee tarkeeb hai : dil waale
kaargah = kaar-Khaanah
hast = hai (=kisee cheez kaa honaa)
bood = th`aa (kisee cheez kaa nah honaa)
kaargah-e-hast-o-bood = aisee jagah jahaaN :aanaa-jaanaa: lagaa huwaa hai
miyaan = darmiyaan
uftaadagee = giraa-paRaa (pareshaan) rehnaa
durd = tal-ch`uT (sharaab peene ke ba'd paimaaneh kee teh meN ho reh jaaYe)
suboo = suraaHee (jar)
Sarf = maSroof
mai-kadah = sharaab-Khaanah
een-o-aaN = yeh aur woh
mai-kadah-e-een-o-aaN = idh`ar-udh`ar (fuZ^ooliyaat) kee jagah

Post by **Star Mind** » Thu May 19, 2005 9:58 am

Sarwar A. Raz wrote:yaaraan-e-bazm: aadaab a'rZ^ hai!

idh`ar tabee,a't kuch` tajribaat karne kee jaanib maa,il hai. Khudaa-e-suKhan Mir Taqi "Mir" ke raNg meN Ghazal-goyee kee koshish bh`ee isee Khalish kaa ek maz^har hai. aaj ek taazah Ghazal le kar HaaZ^ir ho rahaa hooN. is meN maiN ne kuch` tarkeebeN aur a'laamaatt ista'maal kee haiN jo shaayad Ghair-maanoos ma'loom hoN. chooN.k yeh :aamad: (spontaneity) kee Ghazal hai lihaaZah is par ziyaadah sochaa bh`ee naheeN hai. aap kee raaYe aur tabSireh kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. ummeed hai keh maayoos naheeN farmaaYeN ge. shukriyah maiN peshagee hee HaaZ^ir kiYe detaa hooN!

moHtaram janaab Sarwar Alam Raz SaaHib, w/salaam

aap ne nehaayat KhoobSoorat Ghazal kahai hai mashaa Allah ! aur hamesha ki t^araH iste'aare bhi Khoob hi dar-kaar laaye haiN !
Ghazal har Hawaale se aek mukammal taKhleeq hai !

darj-e-Zel Ghazal a'zeezam Zia Baloch kee isee zameen aur beHr meN us Ghazal kee teHreek kaa nateejah hai jo unhoN ne Haal hee meN i'naayat kee hai. zameen itnee dilkash lagee keh be-iKhtiyaar Ghazal kehne baiTh` gayaa! aur isee Hawaaleh se yeh taKhleeq Zia kee naZr hai! gar qubool uftad, zahe i'zzo-sharaf!

janaab , ab maiN kahoN to kyaa kahoN ! aap jaisee shaKhSiyyat ne mujh naa-cheez ko yaqeen maaneye aisa tuHfa i'naayat farmaayaa hai k aap ki is Ghazal ka saath ab maiN bhi jaavidaaN rahoN !
aap ne mujhe aise sharaf se nawaazaa hai k maiN jitnaa bhi kahoN, kam hai ! bhalaa aek shaagird keleye is se baRh kar i'zaaz ki baat aur kyaa hogee k un ka ustaad-e-moHtaram apni koyee Ghazal un ki naZr karde ?
maiN aap ka shukriya alfaaz maiN adaa karne se qaaSir hoN , bahut bahut shukriya aap ka

maiN akcar Zia aur doosroN se kehtaa hooN keh apne kalaam ko "baland karne" kee koshish kareN". "kalaam kee balandee" se meree muraad Khayaal aur bayaan donoN ko behtar banaane se hai. yeh Z^arooree naheeN hai keh aisee koshish hameshah hee kaamyaab ho. albattah is mashq se nayee soch ke bohat se darwaaze kh`ul sakte haiN. ho saktaa hai keh Ghazal paRh`te waqt aap ke Zehn meN ba'Z^ maqaamaat par sawaalaat ubh`reN. agar yeh Ghazal Sirf yehee kar sake keh aap ke Zauq-e-intiqaad ko aNgez kare to mere nazdeek yeh ek kaamyaab kaawish ho gee!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar

jee , aap ne bajaa farmaayaa ! maiN inshaa Allah is baat ka hamesha Khyaal rakkhoNga !

----------------------------------------
Ghazal:

be-t^aur, be-HuZ^oor rahooN, be-nishaaN rahooN!
maiN kab talak shikaar-e-Gham-e-do-jahaaN rahooN?

marHabaa ! maashaa Allah nehaayat u'mdah mat^la' hai , ab maiN bhalaa "maashaa Allah,"bahut Khoob,kyaa kenye" ka i'laawaa keh bhi kyaa saktaa hoN . kaash k aap ki Ghazal k shaayan-e-shaan tabSira kartaa , magar waay-e-meeri kam i'lme k ye Hasrat dil maiN hi reh gayee ! . daad qabool kejeye

shaidaa,ee-e-Haram rahooN, meHv-e-butaaN rahooN?
gar too hai ek to yeh bataa maiN kahaaN rahooN?

nehaayat a'laa janaab ! Husn-e-bayaaN bhi Khoob !, aur bulandey-e-fikr bhi ......... kyaa kehne janaab ! daad qabool kejeye

meree naz^ar meN hai yehee me'raaj-e-a'ashiqee
maanind-e-shama'-e-meHfil-e-SaaHib dilaaN rahooN!

bahut Khoob ! waq'etan aisaa hi hai ! daad qabool kejeye

ab is qadar bh`ee mujh` ko nah be-baal-o-par samajh`!
maiN aur Said-e-gardish-e-kaun-o-makaaN rahooN?

nehaaaaaaaaaaaaaayat u'mdha khyaal ! bahut hi Khoob janaab ! bahut Khoob ! daad qabool kejeye

tujh` meN jo kh`o gayaa to huwaa apnaa saamnaa!
ab sochtaa hooN, Khud se maiN ch`up kar kahaaN rahooN?

kyaa kehney SaaHib ! seedha dil maiN utargayaa ye shea'r ! bahut Khoob !

gar zeest ek kaargah-e-hast-o-bood hai
ph`ir farq kyaa keh yaaN rahooN maiN yaa wahaaN rahooN?

bajaa farmaayaa ! nehaayat u'mdah ! daad Haazir hai

too hai jo ek pal to naheeN doosre hee pal!
maiN kab talak miyaan-e-yaqeen-o-gumaaN rahooN?

kyaa baat hai ! wallah lut^f aagayaa ! daad Hazir hai

uftaadagee hee durd-e-suboo-e-Hayaat hai!
maiN laakh Sarf-e-maikadah-e-een-o-aaN rahooN!

maashaa Allah ! bahut hi u'mdah ! daad qabool kejeye :)

koyee nah ho balaa se shareek-e-namaaz-e-i'shq
"Sarwar" miraa yeh farZ^ hai meHv-e-aZaaN rahooN

maq^a' to aap ka laa-jawaab hai SaaHib ! hamesha ki t^araH !

moHtarami Sarwar A.Raz Sarwar SaaHib,

aap ki Ghazal paRh kar shiddat se iHsaas howaa k Ghazal kaise kahee jaati hai ! poori Ghazal hi shaandaar hai , aap ka dil-kash andaaz-e-bayaaN , u'mdha mazaameen, alfaaz ka chunaao , maiN daad doN to kis kis Khoobi ko paish-e-nazar rakkhoN ? :???:

mere leye ye Ghazal is liHaaz se bhi nehaayat aham hai k ise aap ne mujh Khaaksaar ki naZr farmaayaa hai , jis ka Haqeeqata" maiN Haqdaar nahiN ! laken aap ki karam-farmaayee , aur zarra-nawaazi hai jo aap ne mujhe is qaabil samjhaa ! ye mere leye bahut baRaa i'zaaz hai !

mere paas shukriya k woh alfaaz nahiN k maiN Haqq-e-tashakkur adaa karsakoN ! liHaaza aap mere is aek lafz-e-shukriyaa ko bahut kuch samajh kar qabool farmaaye . bahut bahut shukriya

moKhliS : Zia Baloch

Post by **zmufti** » Thu May 19, 2005 11:44 am

Mohtaram Sarwar Raz sahib
tasleemat
Aap ki Taza Ghazal buhat pasand aayii
ham say share karnay ka buhat shukria
Mujh`e yeh sher buhat ziyada pasand aaya

shaidaa,ee-e-Haram rahooN, meHv-e-butaaN rahooN?
gar too hai ek to yeh bataa maiN kahaaN rahooN?

dua go
zarqa

Post by **naheedv** » Thu May 19, 2005 12:42 pm

Sarwar Raz wrote:yaaraan-e-bazm: aadaab a'rZ^ hai!

idh`ar tabee,a't kuch` tajribaat karne kee jaanib maa,il hai. Khudaa-e-suKhan Mir Taqi "Mir" ke raNg meN Ghazal-goyee kee koshish bh`ee isee Khalish kaa ek maz^har hai. aaj ek taazah Ghazal le kar HaaZ^ir ho rahaa hooN. is meN maiN ne kuch` tarkeebeN aur a'laamaatt ista'maal kee haiN jo shaayad Ghair-maanoos ma'loom hoN. chooN.k yeh :aamad: (spontaneity) kee Ghazal hai lihaaZah is par ziyaadah sochaa bh`ee naheeN hai. aap kee raaYe aur tabSireh kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. ummeed hai keh maayoos naheeN farmaaYeN ge. shukriyah maiN peshagee hee HaaZ^ir kiYe detaa hooN!

darj-e-Zel Ghazal a'zeezam Zia Baloch kee isee zameen aur beHr meN us Ghazal kee teHreek kaa nateejah hai jo unhoN ne Haal hee meN i'naayat kee hai. zameen itnee dilkash lagee keh be-iKhtiyaar Ghazal kehne baiTh` gayaa! aur isee Hawaaleh se yeh taKhleeq Zia kee naZr hai! gar qubool uftad, zahe i'zzo-sharaf!

maiN akcar Zia aur doosroN se kehtaa hooN keh apne kalaam ko "baland karne" kee koshish kareN". "kalaam kee balandee" se meree muraad Khayaal aur bayaan donoN ko behtar banaane se hai. yeh Z^arooree naheeN hai keh aisee koshish hameshah hee kaamyaab ho. albattah is mashq se nayee soch ke bohat se darwaaze kh`ul sakte haiN. ho saktaa hai keh Ghazal paRh`te waqt aap ke Zehn meN ba'Z^ maqaamaat par sawaalaat ubh`reN. agar yeh Ghazal Sirf yehee kar sake keh aap ke Zauq-e-intiqaad ko aNgez kare to mere nazdeek yeh ek kaamyaab kaawish ho gee!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
----------------------------------------
Ghazal:

be-t^aur, be-HuZ^oor rahooN, be-nishaaN rahooN!
maiN kab talak shikaar-e-Gham-e-do-jahaaN rahooN?

shaidaa,ee-e-Haram rahooN, meHv-e-butaaN rahooN?
gar too hai ek to yeh bataa maiN kahaaN rahooN?

meree naz^ar meN hai yehee me'raaj-e-a'ashiqee
maanind-e-shama'-e-meHfil-e-SaaHib dilaaN rahooN!

ab is qadar bh`ee mujh` ko nah be-baal-o-par samajh`!
maiN aur Said-e-gardish-e-kaun-o-makaaN rahooN?

tujh` meN jo kh`o gayaa to huwaa apnaa saamnaa!
ab sochtaa hooN, Khud se maiN ch`up kar kahaaN rahooN?

gar zeest ek kaargah-e-hast-o-bood hai
ph`ir farq kyaa keh yaaN rahooN maiN yaa wahaaN rahooN?

too hai jo ek pal to naheeN doosre hee pal!
maiN kab talak miyaan-e-yaqeen-o-gumaaN rahooN?

uftaadagee hee durd-e-suboo-e-Hayaat hai!
maiN laakh Sarf-e-maikadah-e-een-o-aaN rahooN!

koyee nah ho balaa se shareek-e-namaaz-e-i'shq
"Sarwar" miraa yeh farZ^ hai meHv-e-aZaaN rahooN!
-----------------------------------
be-t^aur = beHaal (frustrated)
be-HuZ^oor = pareshaan
Haram = Ka'bah
butaaN = but (moortee) kee jama'
Said = qaidee, shikaar
SaaHib dilaaN = "Mir" kee tarkeeb hai : dil waale
kaargah = kaar-Khaanah
hast = hai (=kisee cheez kaa honaa)
bood = th`aa (kisee cheez kaa nah honaa)
kaargah-e-hast-o-bood = aisee jagah jahaaN :aanaa-jaanaa: lagaa huwaa hai
miyaan = darmiyaan
uftaadagee = giraa-paRaa (pareshaan) rehnaa
durd = tal-ch`uT (sharaab peene ke ba'd paimaaneh kee teh meN ho reh jaaYe)
suboo = suraaHee (jar)
Sarf = maSroof
mai-kadah = sharaab-Khaanah
een-o-aaN = yeh aur woh
mai-kadah-e-een-o-aaN = idh`ar-udh`ar (fuZ^ooliyaat) kee jagah

moHtaram Sarwar saahab,
aadaab,

Zia Bloch kee kahee huyee zameen meN aap kee nayee ghazal paRhee aur dil khush ho geyaa.
iss meN koyee shak naheeN hai ke ye zameeN buhat zarkhez hai aur mere dil ko bhee buhat bhalee meHsoos huyee hai.

aap kee iss ghazal meN aap kaa raNg jhalaktaa saaf meHsoos hotaa hai aur jo alfaaz aur tarkeebeN aap ne baaNdhee haiN, un se jahaaN ilm meN izaafah huvaa hai, waheeN un ke iste'maal karne kee aik nayee raah bhee nazar aayee hai.

idher kuch arse se mujhe ye meHsoos hone lagaa hai ke jaise mujhe urdu kee classes lene kee zaroorat hai, aur aaj aap kee ye ghazal paRh kar tau mujhe shiddat se ehsaas huvaa ke vaaqa'ee aisaa karnaa chaahiye, voh tau achaa hotaa hai ke aap mushkil alfaaz ke liye apnee dictionary bhee saath muhayyaa kar dete haiN
khair, iss dilkash ghazal par aap dhairoN daad qobool kijiye!

mukhliS
Naheed

Post by **Sarwar A. Raz** » Fri May 20, 2005 5:10 am

Zia SaaHeb:aadaab!

aisaa nah ho keh jab tak aap tashreef laaweN yeh :muaZZin: kisee aur dunyaa ko rawaanah ho chukaa ho! waise ba-z^aahir is namaaz meN :muqtadee: bohat hee kam haiN!

kyaa farmaate haiN muftiyaan-e-deen is mas,aleh par?

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

Post by **Sarwar A. Raz** » Fri May 20, 2005 5:12 am

Zarqa SaaHebah: aadaab!

yeh jaan kar Khushee huyee keh meree yeh koshish aap ko pasand aayee. shukriyah. kal tak Mir ke raNg meN kahee huyee ek aur Ghazal pesh karooN gaa. us ko bh`ee dekh` leejiYe gaa. aur haaN! Khusj rahiYe!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

Post by **Sarwar A. Raz** » Fri May 20, 2005 5:15 am

Naheed SaaHebah:aadaab!

Zarrah-nawaazee ke liYe mamnoon hooN. Ghazal kehne meN bh`ee lut^f milaa aur aap logoN se baat kar ke bh`ee! dost aise hee logoN ko to kehte haiN!

jahaaN tak luGhat kaa sawaal hai aap yaqeen keejiYe keh maiN baraabar us kee madad letaa rehtaa hooN. aisaa nah karooN to jaane kitnee Th`okareN roz kh`aa,ooN!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

Post by **Star Mind** » Fri May 20, 2005 10:12 am

Sarwar Raz wrote:Zia SaaHeb:aadaab!

aisaa nah ho keh jab tak aap tashreef laaweN yeh :muaZZin: kisee aur dunyaa ko rawaanah ho chukaa ho! waise ba-z^aahir is namaaz meN :muqtadee: bohat hee kam haiN!

kyaa farmaate haiN muftiyaan-e-deen is mas,aleh par?

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

moHtaram Sarwar A.Raz SaaHib, intehaayee ma'zirat Khwaah hoN , k aap ko intezaar ki zeHmat dee

Allah aap ko salaamat rakkhe Aameen,

maiN ne apni reply Edit kardi hai , mulaaHiaza farmaaye , aur umeed hai k dar guzar faraamayeNge . shukriya

moKhliS : Zia Baloch

be-t^aur, be-HuZ^oor rahooN, be-nishaaN rahooN!

be-t^aur, be-HuZ^oor rahooN, be-nishaaN rahooN!

Re: be-t^aur, be-HuZ^oor rahooN, be-nishaaN rahooN!