Sher ke doosre misre ke pehle/aakhri alfaaz se sher kahiye!

[najma]

har shaakh-e-gul ko dhoonda, dekhi kali kali mein

lekin teri adayein paayi nahi kisi mein

lekin / mein

kahaaN laa ke mara hay aap ne bhi sara j sahibaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!
ab aap hi is pe dijiye
koee she,r
mujhe to koee esa yaad naheeN jo
''lekin'' ya '' meiN'' se shuruu, hota ho
:P

[Hashmat Usmani]

har shaakh-e-gul ko dhoonda, dekhi kali kali mein
lekin teri adayein paayi nahi kisi mein

lekin / mein

mujhe to koee esa yaad naheeN jo ''lekin'' ya '' meiN'' se shuruu, hota ho :P

maiN ne bhii pichhli baat bahot jhak maarii thii...bil_aaKhior mujhe fil_badeeh she'r kah kar peechhaa chhuRaanaa paRaa thaa

ab AAPKI BAARI hai, ham dil thaam ke baiThte haiN

[najma]

sara jeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ab fil-badee, jo keh sakii keh diya
aur aap par bohat gussa bhi aarahaa hay========== tamaatar :P
lekin tumhii batao k lik.kheN to kya likheN
tum ne to aazmaane ka Thekaaa hi le liya
najma

[Hashmat Usmani]

sara jeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ab fil-badee, jo keh sakii keh diya
aur aap par bohat gussa bhi aarahaa hay========== tamaatar :P
lekin tumhii batao k lik.kheN to kya likheN
tum ne to aazmaane ka Thekaaa hi le liya
najma

[najma]

sara jeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ab fil-badee, jo keh sakii keh diya
aur aap par bohat gussa bhi aarahaa hay========== tamaatar :P
lekin tumhii batao k lik.kheN to kya likheN
tum ne to aazmaane ka Thekaaa hi le liya
najma

aur kya======
sara ki bach,chii daal daal kach,chii
tamaatar

[Abdullah Nazir]

hamaari dousti ne kitne rangeeN gul khilaaye heiN

Miri deewanagi per bhii wo akcar muskuraaye heiN.

iiri/heiN

[najma]

yaqeeN mohkam, amal paiham, mohabbata faatah-e-aalam
jihad-e-zindagaanii meiN ye haiN mardoN ki shamsheereN

jihaad/shamsheer

[najma]

yaqeeN mohkam, amal paiham, mohabbata faatah-e-aalam
jihad-e-zindagaanii meiN ye haiN mardoN ki shamsheereN

jihaad/shamsheer

mujhe tou nahi milraha koi shair aur filbadeh bhi nahi samjh aa raha so filwaqt to yehi pesh hai:

jazba-e-be_iKHtiyaar-e-shauq dekha chaahiye
seena-e-shamsheer se baahar hai dam shamsheer ka

lekin Ustad ji ka intezar hai voh zaroor kuch likhdenge :P

to phir aap ne haar maan lii naaaaaaaaa :P


seena-e-sad-chaak kya hoga rafuu
kis tarah unko maiN chara-gar kahooN
bafis ahmad siddiqui

kis/kahooN

[najma]

mehfil meiN un kii aaj bhi ham ajnabii se thay
ab aabroo-e-ishq, yahaaN tak chalii gaee

nafis ahmad siddiqui

[najma]

mujhe aarzoo thi siki, wo muqaam aagayaa hay

mire dil kidhakanoN meiN tira naam aagayaa hay


mire/hay

[najma]

khaaN ye martabah mera, ke takleef-e-sharakat dooN
magar mehmaaN hueyhaiN baadshah,akcar faqeeroN ke

magar/ ke/faqeeroN

[najma]

chale to kat hi jaeyga safar aahita aahita
-------------------------?


''aahistah''

[Hashmat Usmani]

chale to kat hi jaeyga safar aahita aahita
-------------------------?

''aahistah''

aapkaa she'r na mukammil hai. aur aaKhiri lafz to "aahista" hai magar dusre misr'e kaa pahlaa lafz kia hai?

please aap ise delete kar ke koii nayaa she'r dijiiye. shukria

[Abdullah Nazir]

Aahistah chalte chalte vahaaN aagaye heiN ham

koii bahaanah sunne kii Aadat nahiN rahi.

(koii/rehi)

Nasir.
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[najma]

koee ummed bar naheeN aatii, koee soorat nazar naheeN aatii
maut ka ik din mu,ayyan hay, neen kyuuN raat bhar naheeN aatii

maut/aatii