apni aik nayee ghazal tanqeed-o-tabSira keleye paish kar raha hoN :D . umeed hai k maayoos nahiN farmaayeNge . shukriya
to lejeye ghazal Haazir hai
....................................... Urdu Version Roman Version 1.
MeHfil-e-jaaN maiN koii, deep jalaane aaye
QaSr-e-khalwat k dar-o-baam sajaane aaye
2.
Dil ki veeran si bastii ko bachaane aaye
Seene maiN phool muHabbat k, khilaane aaye
3.
Apni madhosh nigaahoN se pilaane aaye
Bhari meHfil maiN, mire hosh uRaane aaye
4.
Pehle palkoN pe miree, khwaab sajaane aaye
Phir mujhe , khwaab ki taa'beer bataane aaye
5.
Le k gulshan se Sabaa, tere taraane aaye
Dil k SiHraa maiN, unheN mujh ko sunaane aaye
6.
Koi mujhko bhi tu dhanwaan banaane aaye
Le k jo i'shq k , saare hi khazaane aaye
7.
Kabhi aaye jo khizaaN, mausim-e-gul, ban jaaye
Ban k khushboo-e-wafaa, mujh maiN samaane aaye
8.
Woh naSeeboN se mujhe, cheen k lejaaye kaheN
Miri qismat k sitaaroN ko, giraane aaye :P
9.
Mire viraan se gulshan maiN, woh aaye tu sahii
Koi chbhtaa howa kaNtaa hi ugaane aaye
10.
Use kyaa naam Sanam, ahl-e-jahaaN dete haiN?
Jo dil-o-jaan tire dar pe lutaane aaye
11.
Bas yahii aek tamanna hai , mire dil maiN Habeeb
WaSl ki shab , to miraa bakht jagaane aaye
12.
Yeh kuch anmol se lamHey haiN mire jeevan k
Waqt k haath se too, inko churaane aaye
13.
Kab se maiN DhooND rahaa hoN, dil-e-naadaaN ka pata
kaash too, mujhko, mire dil se milaane aaye :P
14.
Yeh rah-e-shahr-e-wafaa aur muHabbat ka junoN
Lo miree jaaN! tujhe paane k zamaane aaye
15.
MaiN tiree raah sitaaroN se sajaane aaoN
To miree raah maiN palkoN ko bichaane aaye
16.
Yeh shab-e-taar, yeh T^oofan-e-samandar ki adaa
Kaash too, mere safeene ko bachaane aaye
17.
Log SadyoN se jinheN sunte chale aaye haiN
Mire HiSSey maiN, kuch aise hi fasaane aaye
18.
MaiN hawaaoN maiN sabhii rang bharoNga apne
Koi titlii tu mujhe, fan yeh sikhaane aaye :P
19.
MaiN kahaaN hoN , miraa ghar, mera thikaana hai kahaaN
Koi mujhko, miri dunyaa , tu dikhaane aaye
20.
Baa'd muddat k bahaaroN ne Sadaa dii hai :Zia:
Nazm-e-gulshan ko , koii Dhab se chalaane aaye
MokhliS : Zia Baloch
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki
Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne
aapkii Ghazal dekh kar be_Had Khushi huii. jab safHa khol kar paRha to yaqeen jaaniye bahot lutf aayaa. go ki aapkii Ghazal tavel hai magar phir bhi dil nahiiN maanaa aur paRhtaa hii gayaa hattaa ki aapkii Ghazal apne iKhtitaam ko pahoNchii magar talab apnii jagah bar_qaraar rah gii ki kaash chand ek ash'aar aur hote.
mujhe yeh ash'aar bahot pasand aaye:
3.
Apni madhosh nigaahoN se pilaane aaye
Bhari meHfil maiN, mire hosh uRaane aaye
5.
Le k gulshan se Sabaa, tere taraane aaye
Dil k SiHraa maiN, unheN mujh ko sunaane aaye
7.
Kabhi aaye jo khizaaN, mausim-e-gul, ban jaaye
Ban k khushboo-e-wafaa, mujh maiN samaane aaye
10.
Use kyaa naam Sanam, ahl-e-jahaaN dete haiN?
Jo dil-o-jaan tire dar pe lutaane aaye
15.
MaiN tiree raah sitaaroN se sajaane aaoN
To miree raah maiN palkoN ko bichaane aaye
16.
Yeh shab-e-taar, yeh T^oofan-e-samandar ki adaa
Kaash too, mere safeene ko bachaane aaye
17.
Log SadyoN se jinheN sunte chale aaye haiN
Mire HiSSey maiN, kuch aise hi fasaane aaye
20.
Baa'd muddat k bahaaroN ne Sadaa dii hai :Zia:
Nazm-e-gulshan ko , koii Dhab se chalaane aaye
bahot Khoob Zia saaHib. ek kaamiiyaab Ghazal par daad aur mubaarak-baad qubool kijiiye,
Go ke ghazal khaasi lambi hai magar utni hi lajawaab bhi hai....aap ki ye ghazal online mushaire mein aap ki zubaani sun ke pehle hi hum lutf-andoz ho chuke hain aur aaj paRh kar bhi wahi nashaa taari ho gaya dil-e-deemaaGh par..ek ek sher nageena hai waAllah..chahoon bhi kuch sher choose karna to nahi kar paaongi kyonki har sher ek se baRhkar ek hai....is baar khoob matle bhi hain goya kuch kuch mera asar aa gaya hai aap par bhi waise is behad khoobsurat ghazal par meri jaanib se dheron dili daad qubool farmaayein!!!Allah kare zor-e-qalam aur ziyaada..aur ziyaada ..aur ziy.a..arey bas bas itna zyaada bhi nahi warna nok TooT jaayegi :mrgreen:
Allah Hafiz,
Shumaila
Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai
Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
apni aik nayee ghazal tanqeed-o-tabSira keleye paish kar raha hoN :D . umeed hai k maayoos nahiN farmaayeNge . shukriya
to lejeye ghazal Haazir hai
....................................... Urdu Version Roman Version 1.
MeHfil-e-jaaN maiN koii, deep jalaane aaye
QaSr-e-khalwat k dar-o-baam sajaane aaye
2.
Dil ki veeran si bastii ko bachaane aaye
Seene maiN phool muHabbat k, khilaane aaye
3.
Apni madhosh nigaahoN se pilaane aaye
Bhari meHfil maiN, mire hosh uRaane aaye
4.
Pehle palkoN pe miree, khwaab sajaane aaye
Phir mujhe , khwaab ki taa'beer bataane aaye
5.
Le k gulshan se Sabaa, tere taraane aaye
Dil k SiHraa maiN, unheN mujh ko sunaane aaye
6.
Koi mujhko bhi tu dhanwaan banaane aaye
Le k jo i'shq k , saare hi khazaane aaye
7.
Kabhi aaye jo khizaaN, mausim-e-gul, ban jaaye
Ban k khushboo-e-wafaa, mujh maiN samaane aaye
8.
Woh naSeeboN se mujhe, cheen k lejaaye kaheN
Miri qismat k sitaaroN ko, giraane aaye :P
9.
Mire viraan se gulshan maiN, woh aaye tu sahii
Koi chbhtaa howa kaNtaa hi ugaane aaye
10.
Use kyaa naam Sanam, ahl-e-jahaaN dete haiN?
Jo dil-o-jaan tire dar pe lutaane aaye
11.
Bas yahii aek tamanna hai , mire dil maiN Habeeb
WaSl ki shab , to miraa bakht jagaane aaye
12.
Yeh kuch anmol se lamHey haiN mire jeevan k
Waqt k haath se too, inko churaane aaye
13.
Kab se maiN DhooND rahaa hoN, dil-e-naadaaN ka pata
kaash too, mujhko, mire dil se milaane aaye :P
14.
Yeh rah-e-shahr-e-wafaa aur muHabbat ka junoN
Lo miree jaaN! tujhe paane k zamaane aaye
15.
MaiN tiree raah sitaaroN se sajaane aaoN
To miree raah maiN palkoN ko bichaane aaye
16.
Yeh shab-e-taar, yeh T^oofan-e-samandar ki adaa
Kaash too, mere safeene ko bachaane aaye
17.
Log SadyoN se jinheN sunte chale aaye haiN
Mire HiSSey maiN, kuch aise hi fasaane aaye
18.
MaiN hawaaoN maiN sabhii rang bharoNga apne
Koi titlii tu mujhe, fan yeh sikhaane aaye :P
19.
MaiN kahaaN hoN , miraa ghar, mera thikaana hai kahaaN
Koi mujhko, miri dunyaa , tu dikhaane aaye
20.
Baa'd muddat k bahaaroN ne Sadaa dii hai :Zia:
Nazm-e-gulshan ko , koii Dhab se chalaane aaye
MokhliS : Zia Baloch
6 Matlay 13 sher 1 maqte ki ye taweel qamat ghazal ne jo kaifiat aur tassur chorha hai vo ye ke kafi dair tak ham is zameen ke sahar se hi na nikal saka , jo bhi khyal aata isi zameen mai aata. maslan pyaas lagti to lafz yoN ada horahe the, hai koi aur jo paani hi pilaane aaye. :)
wah wah Zia sahib bahut taweel hone ke bawajood ghazal ke mazameen apna tassur barabar qayem kie huve haiN.
shukria Mahtab Qadr
aapkii Ghazal dekh kar be_Had Khushi huii. jab safHa khol kar paRha to yaqeen jaaniye bahot lutf aayaa. go ki aapkii Ghazal tavel hai magar phir bhi dil nahiiN maanaa aur paRhtaa hii gayaa hattaa ki aapkii Ghazal apne iKhtitaam ko pahoNchii magar talab apnii jagah bar_qaraar rah gii ki kaash chand ek ash'aar aur hote.
mujhe yeh ash'aar bahot pasand aaye:
3.
Apni madhosh nigaahoN se pilaane aaye
Bhari meHfil maiN, mire hosh uRaane aaye
5.
Le k gulshan se Sabaa, tere taraane aaye
Dil k SiHraa maiN, unheN mujh ko sunaane aaye
7.
Kabhi aaye jo khizaaN, mausim-e-gul, ban jaaye
Ban k khushboo-e-wafaa, mujh maiN samaane aaye
10.
Use kyaa naam Sanam, ahl-e-jahaaN dete haiN?
Jo dil-o-jaan tire dar pe lutaane aaye
15.
MaiN tiree raah sitaaroN se sajaane aaoN
To miree raah maiN palkoN ko bichaane aaye
16.
Yeh shab-e-taar, yeh T^oofan-e-samandar ki adaa
Kaash too, mere safeene ko bachaane aaye
17.
Log SadyoN se jinheN sunte chale aaye haiN
Mire HiSSey maiN, kuch aise hi fasaane aaye
20.
Baa'd muddat k bahaaroN ne Sadaa dii hai :Zia:
Nazm-e-gulshan ko , koii Dhab se chalaane aaye
bahot Khoob Zia saaHib. ek kaamiiyaab Ghazal par daad aur mubaarak-baad qubool kijiiye,
faqat naa_cheez,
Hashmat
Assalam-o-a'laikum,
MoHtarami Hashmat SaaHib, aap jis andaaz aur khulooS se hamesha mere Haqeer se kalaa mo nawaazte haiN, yaqeen jaaneye us ka Haq adaa karne keleeye mere paas alfaaz nahiN, aap ka nihaayat mamnoon hoN k aap ne meri is kaavish ko bhi khoob saraaha aur chand asha'aar ko khuSooSi daad se bhi nawaaza :D . umeed hai k aayenda bhi aap ki HoSla-afzaai mere saath rahyegee. beHad shukriya aap ka :D
mokhliS : Zia Baloch
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki
Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne
Go ke ghazal khaasi lambi hai magar utni hi lajawaab bhi hai....aap ki ye ghazal online mushaire mein aap ki zubaani sun ke pehle hi hum lutf-andoz ho chuke hain aur aaj paRh kar bhi wahi nashaa taari ho gaya dil-e-deemaaGh par..ek ek sher nageena hai waAllah..chahoon bhi kuch sher choose karna to nahi kar paaongi kyonki har sher ek se baRhkar ek hai....is baar khoob matle bhi hain goya kuch kuch mera asar aa gaya hai aap par bhi waise is behad khoobsurat ghazal par meri jaanib se dheron dili daad qubool farmaayein!!!Allah kare zor-e-qalam aur ziyaada..aur ziyaada ..aur ziy.a..arey bas bas itna zyaada bhi nahi warna nok TooT jaayegi :mrgreen:
Allah Hafiz,
Shumaila
W/Salaam Sumaaila SaaHiba,
aap ki be-saakhta daad hameN beHads pasand aayee, aap andaaza nahiN lagaa sakteN k mera HoSla kis qadr baRha hai aap ki is khoobSoorat daad se :-D . jee SuHbat ka acar tu hona hi tha aur matla'aat ki barsaat mere haaN bhi aakhir kaar hogayee . aap ko meri ghazal beHad pasand aayee, jis keley maiN aap ka beHad mamnoon hoN :-D . bahut bahut shukriya aap ka :-D
mokhliS : Zia Baloch
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki
Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne
aap kee ye taveel tareen ghazal bilaakhir maiN ne paRh hi lee balke yooN kehnaa chaahiye ke "sun" lee :)
shaayad ye ghazal paRh kar maiN utnaa mutaacir na hoti jitnaa maiN isey aap ki aawaaz meiN sun kar huee hooN. mashaa'Allah aap ne buhat hi kamaal se isey paRhaa hai aur kaanoN ko bhalaa bhee lagaa hai.
ummeed karti hooN ke aap kaa kalaam aaindah bhee aap ki aawaaz meiN sun.ne ko miltaa rahe gaa.
iss be.had haseen kaavish par naa.cheez mubaarak baad qubool kijiye!
(mere paas aap ke jasiey haseen alfaaz meiN ta'rif karne ke liye alfaaz naheeN heiN, so isey hi buhat kuch samjhiye :D )
Mahtab Qadr wrote:
6 Matlay 13 sher 1 maqte ki ye taweel qamat ghazal ne jo kaifiat aur tassur chorha hai vo ye ke kafi dair tak ham is zameen ke sahar se hi na nikal saka , jo bhi khyal aata isi zameen mai aata. maslan pyaas lagti to lafz yoN ada horahe the, hai koi aur jo paani hi pilaane aaye. :)
wah wah Zia sahib bahut taweel hone ke bawajood ghazal ke mazameen apna tassur barabar qayem kie huve haiN.
shukria Mahtab Qadr
moHtarami M.Q SaaHib,
aap ne jin khoobSoorat alfaaz aur jis dil-kash andaaz maiN , meri kavish ko sarhaa hai, yaqeen jaaneye , mere paas alfaaz hi nahiN haiN k maiN aap ki moHbbatoN ka Haq adaa karsakoN .
kyaa kehne janaab ! mujhe to apni ghazal se ziyaada aap ki daad ne maHzoor kiyaa :D . aap ka bahut bahut shukriya
mokhliS : Zia Baloch
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki
Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne
sara_j wrote:Roman Version 1.
MeHfil-e-jaaN maiN koii, deep jalaane aaye
QaSr-e-khalwat k dar-o-baam sajaane aaye
bohat khoob, nihayet khoobsurti se likha gaya.
nawaazish hai aap ki :D
2.
Dil ki veeran si bastii ko bachaane aaye
Seene maiN phool muHabbat k, khilaane aaye
waah!
shukriya :)
3.
Apni madhosh nigaahoN se pilaane aaye
Bhari meHfil maiN, mire hosh uRaane aaye
kya kehne!
mamnoon :D
4.
Pehle palkoN pe miree, khwaab sajaane aaye
Phir mujhe , khwaab ki taa'beer bataane aaye
khoob anddaz-e-bayaan! pasand aaya.
zarra-nawaazi hai aap ki 5.
Le k gulshan se Sabaa, tere taraane aaye
Dil k SiHraa maiN, unheN mujh ko sunaane aaye
waah!
shukriya :) 6.
Koi mujhko bhi tu dhanwaan banaane aaye
Le k jo i'shq k , saare hi khazaane aaye
waah! hmm ishq ke khazaane, bohat khoob!
iHsaan mand hoN :)
7.
Kabhi aaye jo khizaaN, mausim-e-gul, ban jaaye
Ban k khushboo-e-wafaa, mujh maiN samaane aaye
very romantically presented.....pasand aaya!
zarra-nawaazi hai !!
8.
Woh naSeeboN se mujhe, cheen k lejaaye kaheN
Miri qismat k sitaaroN ko, giraane aaye
waah!
shukriya :D
9.
Mire viraan se gulshan maiN, woh aaye tu sahii
Koi chbhtaa howa kaNtaa hi ugaane aaye
bohat ache!"Koi chbhtaa howa kaNtaa hi ugaane aaye" very nice.
bahut bahut shukriya, Husn-e-nazar hai aap ka
10.
Use kyaa naam Sanam, ahl-e-jahaaN dete haiN?
Jo dil-o-jaan tire dar pe lutaane aaye
wah!
shukriya :D
11.
Bas yahii aek tamanna hai , mire dil maiN Habeeb
WaSl ki shab , to miraa bakht jagaane aaye
12.
Yeh kuch anmol se lamHey haiN mire jeevan k
Waqt k haath se too, inko churaane aaye
nice.
Thanks :D
13.
Kab se maiN DhooND rahaa hoN, dil-e-naadaaN ka pata
kaash too, mujhko, mire dil se milaane aaye
14.
Yeh rah-e-shahr-e-wafaa aur muHabbat ka junoN
Lo miree jaaN! tujhe paane k zamaane aaye
hmmmm.....!
:D
15.
MaiN tiree raah sitaaroN se sajaane aaoN
To miree raah maiN palkoN ko bichaane aaye
wow!.....khoob!
shukriya..nawaazish !
16.
Yeh shab-e-taar, yeh T^oofan-e-samandar ki adaa
Kaash too, mere safeene ko bachaane aaye
hmmmm.....yeh bhi khob!
yehy bhi aap ka Husn-e-nazar hai
17.
Log SadyoN se jinheN sunte chale aaye haiN
Mire HiSSey maiN, kuch aise hi fasaane aaye
18.
MaiN hawaaoN maiN sabhii rang bharoNga apne
Koi titlii tu mujhe, fan yeh sikhaane aaye
ahaan!
shukriya
19.
MaiN kahaaN hoN , miraa ghar, mera thikaana hai kahaaN
Koi mujhko, miri dunyaa , tu dikhaane aaye
20.
Baa'd muddat k bahaaroN ne Sadaa dii hai :Zia:
Nazm-e-gulshan ko , koii Dhab se chalaane aaye
bohat khoob!
bahut shukriya :D
Zia saahib,
Adaab arz hai.
Ghazal ka pehla hissa bohat pasand aaya, bohat hi khoobsurat khayaalon ko
utne hi khoobsurat andaaz se dhaala hai aapne. achi lagi
aapki ghazal jise paRhker muskurahatein chaah gayein chehre par aur ye geet
besaakhta yaad agaya
"Mauje sahil se milo, mahe kamil se milo
Subse mil aao to ik bar mere dil se milo"
halaanke aapki ghazal is se bilkul mukhtalif hai lekin kuch na kuch hai jo humein ye yaad aya.
bohat umdah kavish per mubarakbaad qubool keejiye.
moHtarama Saara Jabeen SaaHiba,
aap ne jis khoobSoorati aur mahaarat se meri ghazal ko saraaha hai, maiN to lab-basta hogaya . ab kahoN to kyaa kahoN?
shukriya k siwaa is waqt kuch nahiN sojh raha . lihaaza meri jaanib se DheeroN shukriya qabool kejeye :D
mokhliS : Zia Baloch
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki
Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne
. shukriya
waise is behad khoobsurat ghazal par meri jaanib se dheron dili daad qubool farmaayein!!!Allah kare zor-e-qalam aur ziyaada..aur ziyaada ..aur ziy.a..arey bas bas itna zyaada bhi nahi warna nok TooT jaayegi :mrgreen: 
. aap ko meri ghazal beHad pasand aayee, jis keley maiN aap ka beHad mamnoon hoN :-D . bahut bahut shukriya aap ka :-D 