saamne ke maZ^aameen: ek da'wat!

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar

Post Reply
Sarwar A. Raz
-
-
Posts: 518
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Contact:

saamne ke maZ^aameen: ek da'wat!

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

yaaraan-e-bazm: aadaab!

aap ne akcar mujh` ko naYe likh`ne waaloN se "saamne kee baatoN" kaa Zikr karte huwe sunaa ho gaa. is fiqreh se woh Khayaalaat muraad haiN jo Zaraa see fikr se har ek ke Zehn meN aa sakte haiN. chooN.k naYe likh`ne waale apne mushaahidaat, mu,a'amilaat, mut^aali,a'h, zabaan-o-bayaan waGhairah meN nisbata" kam tajribehkaar hote haiN is liYe un kee fikr baland hone meN waqt lagtaa hai aur is dauraan woh aasaanee se "saamne ke maZ^aameen" kaa shikaar ho jaate haiN.

i'laawah-az-eeN agar woh ch`oTee beHroN meN bh`ee shaa,i'ree kareN to "saamne ke maZ^aameen: kaa iHtimaal aur baRh jaataa hai. nateejeh meN muKhtalif shaa,i'r apnee taKhleeqaat meN yaksaaN, aur kabh`ee kabh`ee b.ilkul hee ek se, Khayaal baaNdh` jaate haiN. asha'ar kee aisee Ghair-sha,o'oree :Takkar: ko iSt^ilaaH meN :tawaarud: kehte haiN. agar jaan boojh` kar kisee kee naql kee jaaYe to us ko "sarqah" (choree!) kahaa jaataa hai. hamaare adab meN donoN kee be-shumaar micaaleN miltee haiN!

shaa,i'ree meN "saamne ke maZ^aameen" se bachne kee Z^aroorat hotee hai warnah woh be-lut^f ho kar reh jaatee hai. mashq aur tajribeh ke ba'd "saamne ke maZ^aameen" meN bh`ee raNg aur lut^f paidaa kiyaa jaa saktaa hai aur yeh munfarid yaa dilkash andaaz-e-bayaan se hotaa hai.

apnee is baat ko waaZ^eH karne ke liYe maiN ne ek ch`oTee beHr meN bohat se ash,a'ar mauzooN kiYe haiN jo yahaaN pesh kar rahaa hooN. is Ghazal kaa miSra'-e-t^araH yeh hai:

"aap aur aap kee Khushee, SaaHeb!"

radeef: SaaHeb
qaafiYe: Khushee, wohee, dostee, dushmanee, waGhairah

yeh ash,a'ar maiN ne qalam-bardaashtah kahe haiN ya'nee in ko kisee ehtimaam, dimaaGh-sozee yaa takalluf ke saath` naheeN kahaa gayaa hai. aap yeh keejiYe keh is t^araH par apne t^aur par Ghazal kaheN aur us ko meree Ghazal ke saath` rakh` kar mut^aali,a'h kareN. meraa Khayaal hai keh bohat se Khayaalaat aise hoN ge jo aapas meN "Takraa" gaYe hoN ge! yeh bh`ee ho saktaa hai keh aap kaa andaaz-e-bayaan bh`ee mujh` se mil jaaYe aur yeh bh`ee mumkin hai keh aap ke ash,a'ar meree Ghazal se behtar hoN. is mashq se aap ko faa,idah nah bh`ee huwaa to nuqSaan to yaqeena" naheeN ho gaa. meraa Khayaal hai keh nau-mashq dost is se kuch` HaaSil hee kareN ge.

agar aap chaaheN to apnee Ghazal yahaaN is laRee meN chaspaaN kar deN. behtar ho gaa keh Ghazal kehte waqt meree Ghazal ke paas bh`ee nah ph`aTkeN! bal.k us ko paRhne se qabl hee fikr kareN to aur ziyaadah behtar ho gaa.

aap kee raaYe aur ta,accuraat (aur GhazaloN kaa!) intiz^aar rahe gaa.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar
"

=======================
GHAZAL:

aap kee to adaa huyee SaaHeb!
jaan par meree ban gayee SaaHeb!

yeh naheeN koyee shaa,i'ree SaaHeb!
is ko kehte haiN a'ashiqee SaaHeb!

kyaa karooN baar baar maiN shikwah?
raaginee hai yeh be-suree SaaHeb!

mujh` se aisee umeed mat rakh`iYe
ho gayaa kab se maiN walee, SaaHeb?

jo bh`ee keeje KhulooS se keeje
dostee ho keh dushmanee SaaHeb!

roz kyaa ronaa bad-gumaanee kaa?
keejiYe baat doosree SaaHeb!

saaNs ke saath` hee yeh nikle gee
aarzoo meree aaKhiree SaaHeb!

roz jeetaa hooN, roz martaa hooN
sab i'naayat hai aap kee SaaHeb!

ab nah lenaa hai kuch`, nah denaa hai
baat aayee gayee huyee SaaHeb!

aap aur aap kaa Khiraam-e-naaz!
taal, sur, thaap, raaginee SaaHeb!

aap ke saamne bh`alaa kyaa hai?
laalah-o-gul kee dil-kashee SaaHeb!

chaahiYe aur kyaa muHabbat meN?
aap aur aap kee Khushee SaaHeb!

dekh`naa, ph`ir naz^ar churaa lenaa!
kis se seekh`ee yeh dil-lagee SaaHeb?

sach hai, saaraa quSoor meraa hai!
Khoob yeh aap ne kahee SaaHeb!

koyee apnoN ko bh`ool jaataa hai?
kyaa Khat^aa aisee ho gayee SaaHeb?

yeh kaheN, yaad aataa hai "Sarwar"?
aap ko bh`ee bh`alaa kabh`ee SaaHeb?

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Last edited by Sarwar A. Raz on Mon Sep 05, 2005 1:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
jawaid badauni
-
-
Posts: 810
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
Contact:

Post by jawaid badauni »


Mohtarmee Sarwar Raz SaHab, aadab

Ek nihayat dilchasp aur karamad silsilah shru karne ke liye aap ka marhoon-e minnat hooN. Zameen itni achchee hai mujh se rahaa nahiN gaya kuch ashAAr kahe baghair.

Nacheez,
Jawaid Badauni





: Ghazal :


Kab hai insaan ki kamee saHab
Kaash milte kuch aadmi saHab

M'ojzah hai yeh aasheqee saHab
Ban gaye saare gham khooshee saHab

HaiN yehee meri zindagee sahab
"Aap aur aap ki Khooshee sahab"

Kya zamana hai chaand aur suraj
Humko dete haiN teergee saHab

Dhoop dhalne peh kyooN ho itne shaad?
Hai yeh saaya bhi aarzee saHab

Aaj biktee hai chund sikkoN meN
Ek mooncif ki muncifee saHab

Kya qayamat hai tifl karne lage
"Meer".O."Ghalib" ki hamsaree saHab

Ek sangam miree Ghazal :Jawaid:
Kuch purani hai kuch nayee saHab
-----------------------------------------


1. Chauthe she'r meN Chaand aur Suraj se meri muraad qaum ke rahbaroN se hai.

2. SaatwaaN sher Manzar Bhopali Sb ke mash.hoor-e zamana sher ke jawab men kaha gaya hai. Farmate haiN:Kah do Meer.O.Ghalib se hum sher kahte haiN........Woh sadee tumhaaree thee yeh sadee hamari hai...."

3. Yeh Ghazal sirf paanch minute ki koshish hai, nazar-e caani bhi nahiN kee hai.


.....................................
User avatar
Anmol
-
-
Posts: 139
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 9:32 pm
Location: California
Contact:

Post by Anmol »

Mohtaram Sarwar Sahib, adaab!

:-) TaraHee misre per apni koshish liye haazir huN, maiNe aap ki hidayat ke

mutabiq koshish ki k deegar eHbaab ki ghazliyaat ko na paRhooN. Ye ghazal abhi

abhi hui hay aur foran hi post kar rahi huN, raha nahiN jaa raha. Aap ke aur

deegar eHbaab ke tassuraat ka initizaar rahega. :C

Ghazal:

1. hay musaafat bohot kaRi sahib
jis ko kehte heN zindagi sahib

2. baat be baat barhami saahib
hum se koi khata hui sahab?

3. mujh ko bhaaye na dushmani sahib
mera maslak hay dosti sahib!

4. qatl-o-gharitgari buri sahib
chahiye amn-o-aashti sahib!

5. maiN ne sach bolne ki jurrat ki
baat sab ko buri lagi sahib!

6. chalo maana qusoor mera hay
aap achhe heN, maiN buri sahib!

7. kyoon pareshan is qadar heN aap?
kesi uftaad aa paRi sahib?

8. hum ko sab kuch mila muqaddar se
reh gayi aap ki kami sahib!

9. muskuraane ki jab bhi koshish ki
aa gayi aankh meiN namee sahib!

10. kabhi phoolon ko maat deti thi
mere chehre ki taazgi sahib!

11. ab to aankhen udaas rehti hen
aur soorat bujhi bujhi sahib!

12. hum ko hardam azeez rehte heN
"aap aur aap ki khushi sahib!"

13. ye to anmol, dil ki baateN heN
hum ne kab ki hay shaayri sahib?

:Anmol:
My Poetry Website>> http://www.tanhaa.net/anmol

A site for Raj Kumar Sahib>> http://rk-qais.bravehost.com
Star Mind
-
-
Posts: 365
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 11:39 pm
Location: Balochistan
Contact:

Post by Star Mind »

moHtaram Sarwar SaaHib, aadaab

go Ghazal maiN pehle hi likkh k dosree maHaafil maiN paish kar chukaa hoN , ab Urdubadhan maiN paish karne ki sa'aadat HaaSil kar rahaa hoN !

shukriya

1.

bhool jaaoN woh dostii SaaHib ?
Khoob kehte haiN aap bhi SaaHib !

2.

yaad hai apni saadgii SaaHib !
dil ko rotaa hoN aaj bhii SaaHib !

3.

kyaa kareN baat, chaaNd kii SaaHib ?
dil dukhaatii hai chaaNdnii SaaHib !

4.

haaye aaNkhoN ki shaai'rii SaaHib
aekdam baat ban gayii SaaHib !

5.

saamne thaa ik aadamii SaaHib !
kaise kartaa maiN bandagii SaaHib ?

6.

dil miraa jal k Khaak Khaak howaa !
i'shq thaa yaa k aag thii SaaHib !

7.

kyoN na ham mil k noor barsaayeN ?
aap , maiN , aur chaaNdnii SaaHib !

8.

kyaa howaa , hoNT muskuraaye agar
aaNkh to hai bharii bharii SaaHib !

9.

din nikaltaa hai raat hoti hai
youN guzartii hai zindagii SaaHib !

10.

Sirf achhchhe a'mal raheNge sadaa !
maal-o-dolat hai a'arZ^ii SaaHib !

11.

jagmagaate chiraaGh shehroN ko
jaane kis ki naz^ar lagii SaaHib !

12.

Khwaab maiN roo-ba-roo hi beThee thee
zeest se thee milii julii SaaHib !

13.

ham bhalaa rab se aur kyaa maaNgeN
"aap, aur aap kii Khushii SaaHib !"

14.

ham to Thihre wahi faqeer Zia !
un ki baateN , baRii baRii SaaHib !

..............................................................

shukriya

moKhliS : Zia Baloch
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki

Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne

Zia Baloch
Sarwar A. Raz
-
-
Posts: 518
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Contact:

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

a`zeez dosto: aadaab-o-tasleemaat!

"Saamne ke MaZ^aameen" ke u'nwaan se maiN ne apnaa da'watnamah kayee Urdu meHfiloN meN chaspaaN kiyaa th`aa. us ke jawaab meN bohat se eHbaab ne apnee t^araHee GhazaleN irsaal keeN jo maiN aaj yahaaN pesh-e-Khidmat kar rahaa hooN. aap se guZaarish hai keh in par apnee raaYe kaa iz^haar keejiYe. yeh iz^haar-e-Khayaal tamaam GhazaloN par majmoo,e'e bh`ee ho saktaa hai aur agar aap chaaheN to farda" farda" likh` sakte haiN. agar maiN ne Z^aroorat samjh`ee to aaKhir meN apne Khayaalaat bh`ee pesh kar dooN gaa. aap August 28, 2005 tak tabSirah/Khayaal/raaYe likh` sakte haiN. us ke ba'd is laRee ko Khatm kar diyaa jaaYe gaa. aap kee nawaazishaat kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. shukriyah!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
==========================================
(1) Zafar Iqbal Syed

yooN hee soojhee hai dil lagee saahib
varna ham aur shaa'iree saahib

ho ke bai-ghar nikal ga'yee saahib
jo kasar thee rahee sahee saahib

sach to ye hai vatan kee loo bhee hameN
yaad aa'yee kabhee kabhee saahib

thoRe kam-go to pehle bhee the ham
ab to bas chup hee lag ga'yee saahib

haq bhee shaayad adaa na ho paayaa
jaan bhee muft meN ga'yee saahib

do baras se na haal bhee poochhaa
Khoob ho tum bhee aadmee saahib

aik chhoTaa saa Khat hee likh dete
dil behel jaataa do ghaRee saahib

roz milne ko kaun kehtaa hai
gaahe gaahe kabhee kabhee saahib

she'er to Theek haiN Zafar lekin
hai zaraa mashq kee kamee saahib
----------------------------------------------------------------
(2) Jawaid Badauni

Kab hai insaan ki kamee saHab
Kaash milte kuch aadmi saHab

M'ojzah hai yeh aasheqee saHab
Ban gaye saare gham khooshee saHab

HaiN yehee meri zindagee sahab
"Aap aur aap ki Khooshee sahab"

Kya zamana hai chaand aur suraj
Humko dete haiN teergee saHab

Dhoop dhalne peh kyooN ho itne shaad?
Hai yeh saaya bhi aarzee saHab

Aaj biktee hai chund sikkoN meN
Ek mooncif ki muncifee saHab

Kya qayamat hai tifl karne lage
"Meer".O."Ghalib" ki hamsaree saHab

Ek sangam miree Ghazal :Jawaid:
Kuch purani hai kuch nayee saHab
-----------------------------------------------------
(3) Zia Baloch

bhool jaaoN woh dostii SaaHib ?
Khoob kehte haiN aap bhi SaaHib !

yaad hai apni saadgii SaaHib !
dil ko rotaa hoN aaj bhii SaaHib !

kyaa kareN baat, chaaNd kii SaaHib ?
dil dukhaatii hai chaaNdnii SaaHib !

haaye aaNkhoN ki shaai'rii SaaHib
aekdam baat ban gayii SaaHib !

saamne thaa ik aadamii SaaHib !
kaise kartaa maiN bandagii SaaHib ?

dil miraa jal k Khaak Khaak howaa !
i'shq thaa yaa k aag thii SaaHib !

kyoN na ham mil k noor barsaayeN ?
aap , maiN , aur chaaNdnii SaaHib !

kyaa howaa , hoNT muskuraaye agar
aaNkh to hai bharii bharii SaaHib !

din nikaltaa hai raat hoti hai
youN guzartii hai zindagii SaaHib !

Sirf achhchhe a'mal raheNge sadaa !
maal-o-dolat hai a'arZ^ii SaaHib !

jagmagaate chiraaGh shehroN ko
jaane kis ki naz^ar lagii SaaHib !

Khwaab maiN roo-ba-roo hi beThee thee
zeest se thee milii julii SaaHib !

ham bhalaa rab se aur kyaa maaNgeN
"aap, aur aap kii Khushii SaaHib !"

ham to Thihre wahi faqeer Zia !
un ki baateN , baRii baRii SaaHib !
--------------------------------------
(4) "Hina Naqvi"

maaNgiYe jaan woh bh`ee HaaZ^ir hai
i'shq apnaa hai aaKhiree SaaHeb

us kaa inkaar ban gayaa iqraan
ch`iR gayee dil meN raaginee SaaHeb

qiSSah-e-Qais naa sunaa,o hameN
ab naheeN us meN dilkashee SaaHeb

chal diYe jab keh jaanib-e-maqtal
raah badlee nah ph`ir kabh`ee SaaHeb

jo bane ham-rikaab dushman kaa
dost hotaa naheeN kabh`ee SaaHeb

ik tamaashah huwaa th`aa aaKhir-e-shab
laRkh`aRaate mile sabh`ee SaaHeb

haiN gawaah saNg-o-Khaar raahoN ke
DagmagaaYe nah ham kabh`ee SaaHeb

har sitam par kaheN ge :haaN! kuch` aur:
"aap aur aap kee Khushee, SaaHeb"

yeh i'naayat hai meer-e-maktab kee
ik Ghazal aur ho gayee SaaHeb!
---------------------------------------------
(5) Yasir Shah

CHoRiye ab yeh shaai'ri saaHib
keejiye kaam :Rashdi saaHib:...................(Rashdi meree zaat hai)

maqsad-e-zeest Gar sataa^ay Gaa
kaise Guzray Gee zindGi saaHib ?

aaj Gulshan meN kon aayaa hai ?
Khil ga^ee hai har ik kali saaHib

baat se baat nikli hai shaayed
ho Ga^ee kyooN khaamshi saaHib ?

kis ko aavaaz de rahay heN aap
mar Gayaa hai har ik aadmi saaHib

"road" par yeh Galee saRhee ik laash
bai^basi hai keh bai^hisi saaHib

aaj kal koi gham naheeN mujh ko
bai^sabab hai yeh dillaGi saaHib

muft meN ho Ga^ay heN yeh badnaam
sach to kehte heN molvi saaHib

choksee koi kab talak karay ?
ham ko bhi neend aa Ga^ee saaHib

she'r meN saamne ki baateN hoN
ham ko maHboob hai yahee saaHib

keejiye aap shaai'ri mushkil
aap aur aap ki khushi saaHib
---------------------------------------------------
(6) Ahmad Jeelanee

tark-e-ulfat hee ek chaarah th`aa
th`eeN sharaa,it^ bohat kaRee SaaHeb

baat sood-o-ziyaaN kee karte ho
ho chukee tum se a'ashiqee SaaHeb

un kee zulfoN kaa Kham, ma,a'aZ-Allah
zindagee ab hai bandagee SaaHeb

paa gaYe raah-e-i'shq meN manzil
ban gaYe aaj ham walee SaaHeb

ban nah jaaYe yeh baRh ke dil kee lagee
keejiYe yooN nah dil-lagee SaaHeb!

ham to jaate haiN soo-e-maiKhaanah
"aap aur aap kee Khushee, SaaHeb!"
------------------------------------------
(7) Rehana Ahmad "JaanaaN"

uff yeh be-panaah dilkashee SaaHeb!
apnee to jaaN hee le gayee SaaHeb

jaate jaate jaaN rukee SaaHeb
pooree ab kar lo har kamee SaaHeb

"aap aur aap kee Khushee SaaHeb"
kar gaYe ham se dushmanee SaaHeb

Allah, Allah yeh raushanee SaaHeb
gh`ar meN mere haiN aap hee? SaaHeb

dar peh rukne bh`ee ab naheeN dete
yehee hai bandah-parwaree SaaHeb?

kuch` chalan aaj badlaa badlaa hai
tum ko kis kee hawaa lagee SaaHeb?

maath` bindee, nah paa,ooN meN jh`aaNjh`an
nah poNhche meN poNhchee SaaHeb

bazm-e-aGhyaar meN tamaashah hai
hotee kuch` gh`ar meN hee sunee SaaHeb

dil kee dh`aRkan sunaa gayee ham ko
aap kee waah yeh Khaamshee SaaHeb

dil ke TukRe Sadaa naheeN dete
woh th`ee aap kee haNsee SaaHeb

jaan "JaanaaN" kee le chukee ab to
jaaYe gee kab yeh be-ruKhee SaaHeb?
------------------------------------------
{8} Anmol

hay musaafat bohot kaRi sahib
jis ko kehte heN zindagi sahib

baat be baat barhami saahib
hum se koi khata hui sahab?

mujh ko bhaaye na dushmani sahib
mera maslak hay dosti sahib!

qatl-o-gharitgari buri sahib
chahiye amn-o-aashti sahib!

maiN ne sach bolne ki jurrat ki
baat sab ko buri lagi sahib!

chalo maana qusoor mera hay
aap achhe heN, maiN buri sahib!

kyoon pareshan is qadar heN aap?
kesi uftaad aa paRi sahib?

hum ko sab kuch mila muqaddar se
reh gayi aap ki kami sahib!

muskuraane ki jab bhi koshish ki
aa gayi aankh meiN namee sahib!

kabhi phoolon ko maat deti thi
mere chehre ki taazgi sahib!

ab to aankhen udaas rehti hen
aur soorat bujhi bujhi sahib!

hum ko hardam azeez rehte heN
aap aur aap ki khushi sahib!

ye to anmol, dil ki baateN heN
hum ne kab ki hay shaayri sahib?
----------------------------------------
(9) Zahida Raji

Jaan peh apnii hai banii SaaHeb
Faisleh ki hai kyaa ghaRee SaaHeb

hamko to mukhliSii ne maara hai
* aap ko apnii hee khushii SaaHeb: *

ham to aaye the gham ghalat^ karne
unn ko apnii hee raagnii SaaHeb

jaane kis pal buKhaar chaRh jaaye
hai mizaaj unka mausamii SaaHeb

keejiye kyaa gilah parayooN se
apne kyaa kam heN ajnabii SaaHeb?

pehl kar ke :anaa: ko d'haahe kaun?
jo hai deevaar aahinii Saaheb

apna dastoor hai taa'luq meN
ho moHabbat kee chaashnii SaaHeb

ik diya pyaar ka jalao to
din meN daikho ge chaandnii SaaHeb

aaj bhi heN muHabbateN har soo
haaN bharose kee hai kamii SaaHeb

mehr-o-umeed kee Haqeeqat hai
deeda-o-dil kee roushnii SaaHeb

d'hooNd'h laita hai dil bahaane se
teergi meN bhi roushnii SaaHeb

uske sho'lay kabhi tu uTheNge
aarzoo hai agar dabii SaaHeb

muskuraana bhula diya kiyo Ji
rog aisee bhi kyaa lagii SaaHeb

kar gayii ham se chugliyaaN dil kee
aaNkh ki unke pur-namii SaaHeb

shairee kis t^araH se mumkin hai
fikr peh barf ho jamii SaaHeb

zeest ka aakhrii safar :Raji:
aadmii ki hai be-basii SaaHeb
----------------------------------------------------
(10) Sara Jabeen

chaand aur us ki chaandnii saheb
"aap aur aap kee Khushee, SaaHeb!"

lab pah aati nahiN hansii saaheb
jaane houti hai kyaa khushi saaheb

ab kahan waqt-e-dillagii saheb
jo kareN tum se dushmanee saheb

saaz bhi saath aap bhi lekin
phir bhi tanhaii hei wohee saheb

kabse hai shammA-e-aarzoo raushan
yeh bhii hei koiee aashiqi saheb

dil jahaN meiN kahiN nahiN lagtaa
aur nahiN lutf-e-zindagi saheb

dhalte jaate hain ashk lafzon mein
hai yehi meri shaayari saaheb

kaash meri duaa meiN aaye asar
yeh tamanna hai akhrii saheb

uR gaye hain dhanak ke rang sabhi
kahin Sara hai khogayee saheb
---------------------------
(11) Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

aap kee to adaa huyee SaaHeb!
jaan par meree ban gayee SaaHeb!

yeh naheeN koyee shaa,i'ree SaaHeb!
is ko kehte haiN a'ashiqee SaaHeb!

kyaa karooN baar baar maiN shikwah?
raaginee hai yeh be-suree SaaHeb!

mujh` se aisee umeed mat rakh`iYe
ho gayaa kab se maiN walee, SaaHeb?

jo bh`ee keeje KhulooS se keeje
dostee ho keh dushmanee SaaHeb!

roz kyaa ronaa bad-gumaanee kaa?
keejiYe baat doosree SaaHeb!

saaNs ke saath` hee yeh nikle gee
aarzoo meree aaKhiree SaaHeb!

roz jeetaa hooN, roz martaa hooN
sab i'naayat hai aap kee SaaHeb!

ab nah lenaa hai kuch`, nah denaa hai
baat aayee gayee huyee SaaHeb!

aap aur aap kaa Khiraam-e-naaz!
taal, sur, thaap, raaginee SaaHeb!

aap ke saamne bh`alaa kyaa hai?
laalah-o-gul kee dil-kashee SaaHeb!

chaahiYe aur kyaa muHabbat meN?
aap aur aap kee Khushee SaaHeb!

dekh`naa, ph`ir naz^ar churaa lenaa!
kis se seekh`ee yeh dil-lagee SaaHeb?

sach hai, saaraa quSoor meraa hai!
Khoob yeh aap ne kahee SaaHeb!

koyee apnoN ko bh`ool jaataa hai?
kyaa Khat^aa aisee ho gayee SaaHeb?

yeh kaheN, yaad aataa hai "Sarwar"?
aap ko bh`ee bh`alaa kabh`ee SaaHeb?
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Sarwar A. Raz
-
-
Posts: 518
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Contact:

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

a`zeez dosto: aadaab-o-tasleemaat!

"Saamne ke MaZ^aameen" ke u'nwaan se maiN ne apnaa da'watnamah kayee Urdu meHfiloN meN chaspaaN kiyaa th`aa. us ke jawaab meN bohat se eHbaab ne apnee t^araHee GhazaleN irsaal keeN jo maiN aaj yahaaN pesh kar rahaa hooN. Rehana ne mujh` se kahaa hai keh in par kuch` likh`ooN. har Ghazal par tabSirah to mumkin naheeN hai, albattah sarsaree saa jaa,izah liyaa jaa saktaa hai. is jaa,izeh ko kisee t^araH bh`ee :Harf-e-aaKhir: naheeN kahaa jaa saktaa hai. aap kee raaYe kaa ab bh`ee intiz^aar hai! jo ash,a'ar mujh` ko achh`e lage haiN un ko maiN ne "------" se muqai,yyad kar diyaa hai.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
==========================================
(1) Zafar Iqbal Syed

yooN hee soojhee hai dil lagee saahib
varna ham aur shaa'iree saahib

ho ke bai-ghar nikal ga'yee saahib
jo kasar thee rahee sahee saahib

sach to ye hai vatan kee loo bhee hameN
yaad aa'yee kabhee kabhee saahib

thoRe kam-go to pehle bhee the ham
ab to bas chup hee lag ga'yee saahib

haq bhee shaayad adaa na ho paayaa
jaan bhee muft meN ga'yee saahib

do baras se na haal bhee poochhaa
Khoob ho tum bhee aadmee saahib

aik chhoTaa saa Khat hee likh dete
dil behel jaataa do ghaRee saahib

"roz milne ko kaun kehtaa hai
gaahe gaahe kabhee kabhee saahib"

she'er to Theek haiN Zafar lekin
hai zaraa mashq kee kamee saahib
***********************************************
Zafar kee yeh Ghazal apnee saadagee aur bayaan kee lat^aafat meN dilkash hai. maZ^aameen t^araH ke zer-e-acar yaksaaN aur :saamne ke: agar lagte haiN to ta,a'jjub kee baat naheeN hai. isee imkaan kaa dikh`aanaa to is mashq kaa maqSad th`aa! ummeed hai keh Zafar aa,indah bh`ee hamaaree meHfil meN aate raheN ge.
========================================
(2) Jawaid Badauni

Kab hai insaan ki kamee saHab
Kaash milte kuch aadmi saHab

M'ojzah hai yeh aasheqee saHab
Ban gaye saare gham khooshee saHab

HaiN yehee meri zindagee sahab
"Aap aur aap ki Khooshee sahab"

Kya zamana hai chaand aur suraj
Humko dete haiN teergee saHab

"Dhoop dhalne peh kyooN ho itne shaad?
Hai yeh saaya bhi aarzee saHab"

Aaj biktee hai chund sikkoN meN
Ek mooncif ki muncifee saHab

Kya qayamat hai tifl karne lage
"Meer".O."Ghalib" ki hamsaree saHab

Ek sangam miree Ghazal :Jawaid:
Kuch purani hai kuch nayee saHab
****************************************************
Jawaid SaaHeb ek kuhnah-mashq shaa,i'r haiN. unhoN ne Ghazal meN muta,a'ddid a'laamaat kaa ista'maal kiyaa hai lekin woh apnee waZ^aaHat ke liYe ek Haashiyeh (note) kee muHtaaj haiN. is se muta,a'lliqah ash,a'ar ke acar meN kamee waaqe' huyee hai. majmoo,e'e t^aur se Jawaid SaaHeb ke u'moomee ma'yaar se kuch` kam ma'loom huyee.
=====================================
(3) Zia Baloch

bhool jaaoN woh dostii SaaHib ?
Khoob kehte haiN aap bhi SaaHib !

yaad hai apni saadgii SaaHib !
dil ko rotaa hoN aaj bhii SaaHib !

kyaa kareN baat, chaaNd kii SaaHib ?
dil dukhaatii hai chaaNdnii SaaHib !

haaye aaNkhoN ki shaai'rii SaaHib
aekdam baat ban gayii SaaHib !

saamne thaa ik aadamii SaaHib !
kaise kartaa maiN bandagii SaaHib ?

dil miraa jal k Khaak Khaak howaa !
i'shq thaa yaa k aag thii SaaHib !

kyoN na ham mil k noor barsaayeN ?
aap , maiN , aur chaaNdnii SaaHib !

kyaa howaa , hoNT muskuraaye agar
aaNkh to hai bharii bharii SaaHib !

"din nikaltaa hai raat hoti hai
youN guzartii hai zindagii SaaHib !"

Sirf achhchhe a'mal raheNge sadaa !
maal-o-dolat hai a'arZ^ii SaaHib !

jagmagaate chiraaGh shehroN ko
jaane kis ki naz^ar lagii SaaHib !

Khwaab maiN roo-ba-roo hi beThee thee
zeest se thee milii julii SaaHib !

ham bhalaa rab se aur kyaa maaNgeN
"aap, aur aap kii Khushii SaaHib !"

ham to Thihre wahi faqeer Zia !
un ki baateN , baRii baRii SaaHib !
********************************************************
Zia ek ubh`arte huwe shaa,i'r haiN. abh`ee un ko shaa,i'ree meN kayee manzil aage jaanaa hai lekin un kaa a'zm un kee koshish se z^aahir hai. Zia kee Ghazal wazn, beHr se durust hai, albattah maZ^aameen abh`ee qadre naa-puKht haiN. woh shauq meN kuch` ash,a'ar aise bh`ee keh gaYe haiN jin ko bh`artee kaa kahaa jaa saktaa hai. lekin yeh is qism ke miSra'-e-t^araH meN hotaa hai. mujh` ko Zia se mustaqbil meN bohat see ummeedeN haiN.
======================================
(4) "Hina Naqvi"

maaNgiYe jaan woh bh`ee HaaZ^ir hai
i'shq apnaa hai aaKhiree SaaHeb

us kaa inkaar ban gayaa iqraar
ch`iR gayee dil meN raaginee SaaHeb

qiSSah-e-Qais naa sunaa,o hameN
ab naheeN us meN dilkashee SaaHeb

chal diYe jab keh jaanib-e-maqtal
raah badlee nah ph`ir kabh`ee SaaHeb

jo bane ham-rikaab dushman kaa
dost hotaa naheeN kabh`ee SaaHeb

"ik tamaashah huwaa th`aa aaKhir-e-shab
laRkh`aRaate mile sabh`ee SaaHeb"

haiN gawaah saNg-o-Khaar raahoN ke
DagmagaaYe nah ham kabh`ee SaaHeb

har sitam par kaheN ge :haaN! kuch` aur:
"aap aur aap kee Khushee, SaaHeb"

yeh i'naayat hai meer-e-maktab kee
ik Ghazal aur ho gayee SaaHeb!
*******************************************************
"Hina" SaaHebah nau-mashq shaa,i'rah haiN lekin un kaa shauq un kee koshish se z^aahir hai. ek aadh` jagaa wazn laRkh`aRaa gayaa hai lekin Ghazal un kee shaa,i'ree kee u'mr dekh`te huwe buree naheeN hai. meHnat, mut^aali,a'h, mashq! aur agar un ke :meer-e-maktab: kuch` rehnumaayee kar deN to nateejah ziyaadah Kush-gawaar ho saktaa hai.
=================================
(5) Yasir Shah

CHoRiye ab yeh shaai'ri saaHib
keejiye kaam :Rashdi saaHib:...................(Rashdi meree zaat hai)

maqsad-e-zeest Gar sataa^ay Gaa
kaise Guzray Gee zindGi saaHib ?

"aaj Gulshan meN kon aayaa hai ?
Khil ga^ee hai har ik kali saaHib"

baat se baat nikli hai shaayed
ho Ga^ee kyooN khaamshi saaHib ?

kis ko aavaaz de rahay heN aap
mar Gayaa hai har ik aadmi saaHib

"road" par yeh Galee saRhee ik laash
bai^basi hai keh bai^hisi saaHib

aaj kal koi gham naheeN mujh ko
bai^sabab hai yeh dillaGi saaHib

muft meN ho Ga^ay heN yeh badnaam
sach to kehte heN molvi saaHib

choksee koi kab talak karay ?
ham ko bhi neend aa Ga^ee saaHib

she'r meN saamne ki baateN hoN
ham ko maHboob hai yahee saaHib

keejiye aap shaai'ri mushkil
aap aur aap ki khushi saaHib
************************************************
Yasir bh`ee abh`ee nau-aamoz haiN lekin in kaa Zauq-o-shauq deednee hai. Ghazal seedh`ee saadee hai aur kaheeN kaheeN wazn aur bayaan meN :Siraat^-e-mustaqeem: se bh`aTak gayee hai. Yasir ko chaahiYe keh she'r-goyee ke bunyaadee a'naaSir par zor deN aur taGhazzul ko Zehn meN rakh`eN. siyaasee shaa,i'ree bh`ee ho jaaYe gee! majmoo,e'e t^aur se Ghazal Theek hai.
===================================
(6) Ahmad Jeelanee

tark-e-ulfat hee ek chaarah th`aa
th`eeN sharaa,it^ bohat kaRee SaaHeb

"baat sood-o-ziyaaN kee karte ho
ho chukee tum se a'ashiqee SaaHeb"

un kee zulfoN kaa Kham, ma,a'aZ-Allah
zindagee ab hai bandagee SaaHeb

paa gaYe raah-e-i'shq meN manzil
ban gaYe aaj ham walee SaaHeb

ban nah jaaYe yeh baRh ke dil kee lagee
keejiYe yooN nah dil-lagee SaaHeb!

ham to jaate haiN soo-e-maiKhaanah
"aap aur aap kee Khushee, SaaHeb!"
*************************************************
Ahmad Jilani kee shaa,i'ree kee u'mr bohat kam hai lekin us ke tewar achh`e haiN. is Ghazal meN do ek ash,a'ar Khoob haiN. mat^le' kee kamee is jaanib ishaarah kartee huyee ma'loom hotee hai keh Jilani abh`ee :baa-qaa,idah: she'r-goyee kee jaanib maa,il naheeN huwe haiN. meree raaYe hai keh woh she'r kaheN aur kahte raheN.
==================================
(7) Rehana Ahmad "JaanaaN"

uff yeh be-panaah dilkashee SaaHeb!
apnee to jaaN hee le gayee SaaHeb

jaate jaate jaaN rukee SaaHeb
pooree ab kar lo har kamee SaaHeb

"aap aur aap kee Khushee SaaHeb"
kar gaYe ham se dushmanee SaaHeb

"Allah, Allah yeh raushanee SaaHeb
gh`ar meN mere haiN aap hee? SaaHeb"

dar peh rukne bh`ee ab naheeN dete
yehee hai bandah-parwaree SaaHeb?

kuch` chalan aaj badlaa badlaa hai
tum ko kis kee hawaa lagee SaaHeb?

maath` bindee, nah paa,ooN meN jh`aaNjh`an
nah poNhche meN poNhchee SaaHeb

bazm-e-aGhyaar meN tamaashah hai
hotee kuch` gh`ar meN hee sunee SaaHeb

dil kee dh`aRkan sunaa gayee ham ko
aap kee waah yeh Khaamshee SaaHeb

dil ke TukRe Sadaa naheeN dete
woh th`ee aap kee haNsee SaaHeb

jaan "JaanaaN" kee le chukee ab to
jaaYe gee kab yeh be-ruKhee SaaHeb?
***************************************
Rehana bunyaadee t^aur se naz^m aur maahiyeh kee shaa,i'rah haiN. Ghazal-goyee meN un ke Khayaalaat to achh`e hote haiN lekin wazn meN akcar jhol reh jaataa hai. yeh kamee yahaaN bh`ee z^aahir hai. meree guZaarish un se yeh ho gee keh woh wazn par aur meHnat kareN. bayaan aur Khayaalaat ke ma'yaar ko bh`ee dekh `naa Z^arooree hai lekin yeh waqt aur meHnat ke saath` durust ho sakte haiN.
===================================
( Anmol

hay musaafat bohot kaRi sahib
jis ko kehte heN zindagi sahib

baat be baat barhami saahib
hum se koi khata hui sahab?

mujh ko bhaaye na dushmani sahib
mera maslak hay dosti sahib!

qatl-o-gharitgari buri sahib
chahiye amn-o-aashti sahib!

maiN ne sach bolne ki jurrat ki
baat sab ko buri lagi sahib!

"chalo maana qusoor mera hay
aap achhe heN, maiN buri sahib!"

kyoon pareshan is qadar heN aap?
kesi uftaad aa paRi sahib?

hum ko sab kuch mila muqaddar se
reh gayi aap ki kami sahib!

muskuraane ki jab bhi koshish ki
aa gayi aankh meiN namee sahib!

kabhi phoolon ko maat deti thi
mere chehre ki taazgi sahib!

ab to aankhen udaas rehti hen
aur soorat bujhi bujhi sahib!

hum ko hardam azeez rehte heN
aap aur aap ki khushi sahib!

"ye to anmol, dil ki baateN heN
hum ne kab ki hay shaayri sahib?"
*****************************************
Anmol kee Ghazal apnee saadah-bayaanee ke pesh-e-naz^ar achh`ee hai. kuch` ash,a'ar ziyaadah pasand aaYe. kaheeN kaheeN aisaa eHsaas huwaa keh yeh baat sunee-suaayee hai. lekin yeh to :saamne ke maZ^aameen: kee KhaaSiyat hai! Anmol se mujh` ko achh`ee ummeedeN haiN.
=================================
(9) Zahida Raji

Jaan peh apnii hai banii SaaHeb
Faisleh ki hai kyaa ghaRee SaaHeb

hamko to mukhliSii ne maara hai
* aap ko apnii hee khushii SaaHeb: *

ham to aaye the gham ghalat^ karne
unn ko apnii hee raagnii SaaHeb

jaane kis pal buKhaar chaRh jaaye
hai mizaaj unka mausamii SaaHeb

keejiye kyaa gilah parayooN se
apne kyaa kam heN ajnabii SaaHeb?

pehl kar ke :anaa: ko d'haahe kaun?
jo hai deevaar aahinii Saaheb

apna dastoor hai taa'luq meN
ho moHabbat kee chaashnii SaaHeb

ik diya pyaar ka jalao to
din meN daikho ge chaandnii SaaHeb

aaj bhi heN muHabbateN har soo
haaN bharose kee hai kamii SaaHeb

mehr-o-umeed kee Haqeeqat hai
deeda-o-dil kee roushnii SaaHeb

d'hooNd'h laita hai dil bahaane se
teergi meN bhi roushnii SaaHeb

uske sho'lay kabhi tu uTheNge
aarzoo hai agar dabii SaaHeb

muskuraana bhula diya kiyo Ji
rog aisee bhi kyaa lagii SaaHeb

kar gayii ham se chugliyaaN dil kee
aaNkh ki unke pur-namii SaaHeb

shairee kis t^araH se mumkin hai
fikr peh barf ho jamii SaaHeb

"zeest ka aakhrii safar :Raji:
aadmii ki hai be-basii SaaHeb"
********************************************
Zahida meHnat bohat kartee haiN aur baraabar taraqqee kar rahee haiN. sab kee t^araH woh bh`ee bisyaar-goyee kaa shikaar huyee haiN. yeh achh`aa hai kyoN.k is se hamaaree laRee ke imkaanaat aur KhaamiyaaN donoN z^aahir hote haiN. Khayaalaat ke liHaaz^ se Ghazal Theek hai. bayaan seedh`aa hai aur mazeed behtar ho saktaa hai. majmoo,e'e t^aur se Ghazal achh`ee hai.
--=====================================
(10) Sara Jabeen

chaand aur us ki chaandnii saheb
"aap aur aap kee Khushee, SaaHeb!"

lab pah aati nahiN hansii saaheb
jaane houti hai kyaa khushi saaheb

ab kahan waqt-e-dillagii saheb
jo kareN tum se dushmanee saheb

saaz bhi saath aap bhi lekin
phir bhi tanhaii hei wohee saheb

kabse hai shammA-e-aarzoo raushan
yeh bhii hei koiee aashiqi saheb

dil jahaN meiN kahiN nahiN lagtaa
aur nahiN lutf-e-zindagi saheb

"dhalte jaate hain ashk lafzon mein
hai yehi meri shaayari saaheb"

kaash meri duaa meiN aaye asar
yeh tamanna hai akhrii saheb

uR gaye hain dhanak ke rang sabhi
kahin Sara hai khogayee saheb
***************************************************
Sara se maiN us zamaaneh se waaqif hooN jab woh she'r-goyee se "yooN hee see" waaqif th`eeN. meHnat, lagan aur munaasib rehnumaayee kee badaulat unhoN ne bohat taraqqeee kee hai. ash,a'ar meN taGhazzul aur fikr kee jo kamee ma'loom hotee hai woh zameen kaa taqaaZ^ah hai. aa,indah ke liYe maiN Sara se pur-ummeed hooN.
==================================
(11) Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

aap kee to adaa huyee SaaHeb!
jaan par meree ban gayee SaaHeb!

yeh naheeN koyee shaa,i'ree SaaHeb!
is ko kehte haiN a'ashiqee SaaHeb!

kyaa karooN baar baar maiN shikwah?
raaginee hai yeh be-suree SaaHeb!

mujh` se aisee umeed mat rakh`iYe
ho gayaa kab se maiN walee, SaaHeb?

jo bh`ee keeje KhulooS se keeje
dostee ho keh dushmanee SaaHeb!

roz kyaa ronaa bad-gumaanee kaa?
keejiYe baat doosree SaaHeb!

saaNs ke saath` hee yeh nikle gee
aarzoo meree aaKhiree SaaHeb!

roz jeetaa hooN, roz martaa hooN
sab i'naayat hai aap kee SaaHeb!

ab nah lenaa hai kuch`, nah denaa hai
baat aayee gayee huyee SaaHeb!

aap aur aap kaa Khiraam-e-naaz!
taal, sur, thaap, raaginee SaaHeb!

aap ke saamne bh`alaa kyaa hai?
laalah-o-gul kee dil-kashee SaaHeb!

chaahiYe aur kyaa muHabbat meN?
aap aur aap kee Khushee SaaHeb!

dekh`naa, ph`ir naz^ar churaa lenaa!
kis se seekh`ee yeh dil-lagee SaaHeb?

sach hai, saaraa quSoor meraa hai!
Khoob yeh aap ne kahee SaaHeb!

koyee apnoN ko bh`ool jaataa hai?
kyaa Khat^aa aisee ho gayee SaaHeb?

yeh kaheN, yaad aataa hai "Sarwar"?
aap ko bh`ee bh`alaa kabh`ee SaaHeb?
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
User avatar
Anmol
-
-
Posts: 139
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 9:32 pm
Location: California
Contact:

Post by Anmol »

Sarwar A. Raz wrote: {8} Anmol

hay musaafat bohot kaRi sahib
jis ko kehte heN zindagi sahib

baat be baat barhami saahib
hum se koi khata hui sahab?

mujh ko bhaaye na dushmani sahib
mera maslak hay dosti sahib!

qatl-o-gharitgari buri sahib
chahiye amn-o-aashti sahib!

maiN ne sach bolne ki jurrat ki
baat sab ko buri lagi sahib!

"chalo maana qusoor mera hay
aap achhe heN, maiN buri sahib!"

kyoon pareshan is qadar heN aap?
kesi uftaad aa paRi sahib?

hum ko sab kuch mila muqaddar se
reh gayi aap ki kami sahib!

muskuraane ki jab bhi koshish ki
aa gayi aankh meiN namee sahib!

kabhi phoolon ko maat deti thi
mere chehre ki taazgi sahib!

ab to aankhen udaas rehti hen
aur soorat bujhi bujhi sahib!

hum ko hardam azeez rehte heN
aap aur aap ki khushi sahib!

"ye to anmol, dil ki baateN heN
hum ne kab ki hay shaayri sahib?"
*****************************************
Anmol kee Ghazal apnee saadah-bayaanee ke pesh-e-naz^ar achh`ee hai. kuch` ash,a'ar ziyaadah pasand aaYe. kaheeN kaheeN aisaa eHsaas huwaa keh yeh baat sunee-suaayee hai. lekin yeh to :saamne ke maZ^aameen: kee KhaaSiyat hai! Anmol se mujh` ko achh`ee ummeedeN haiN.
Mohtaram Sarwar Sahib, adaab!

Mujhe Khushi hay k mujh naa'laaiq ki ghazal aap ko pasand aa gayi. Ye aap asatiza ki hi rehnumayi aur dua'oN ka faiz hay k aaj maiN kisi qabil likh paati huN. InshaAllah aap ki umeedoN per poora utarne ki koshish karooNgi.

shukria. :-)
My Poetry Website>> http://www.tanhaa.net/anmol

A site for Raj Kumar Sahib>> http://rk-qais.bravehost.com
Sarwar A. Raz
-
-
Posts: 518
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Contact:

Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

a`zeezah Sara: salaam

aap ke is Khat^ kaa jawaab kaheeN aur de chukaa hooN. aap ne jo likh`aa hai woh SaHeeH hai aur :tawaarud: kee ta'reef meN daaKhil hotaa hai. tawaarud koyee qaabil-e-e'tiraaZ^ baat naheeN hai albattah :sarqah: aur hee cheez hai.

aap kee meHnat aur muHabbat ke liYe dil se mamnoon hooN.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
Post Reply