Aatish ke miSreA per aek taazah ghazal: Abdullah Nazir.

Kuhnah mashq ShoAraa kaa kalaam jo beHr meiN hounaa zaroori hei

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Abdullah Nazir
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Aatish ke miSreA per aek taazah ghazal: Abdullah Nazir.

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramaaat o MuHtarameen
Arbaab-e-meHfil aur aHbaab-e-sukhan,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat, :rose


MaiN ne aatish ke mandarja-e-zel miSreA per aek taazah ghazal kahii hei:

naazuki khatm hei un phool se rukhsaaraoN per

Yeh ghazal aapki khidmat meiN pesh karte houe khushi meHsoos karrahaa hooN aur ummeed kartaa hooN ke aap apni giraanqadr aaraa se mujhe navazkar shukriya adaa karne kaa mauqaA denge.

GHAZAL roman meiN:

Hei buraa waqt muHabbat ke giriftaaraoN per
Raqs farmaa heiN jo paazeb kii jhankaaraoN per

Khaana-e-dil wo khanDar hei ke tamannaoN kii
titliyaaN bhii nazar aati nahiN deevaaraoN per

raat bhar chaand sitaaraoN pah theeN meri nazreN
aur maiN karvaTeN letaa rahaa angaaraoN per

lab pah aate heiN shab o rouz zubaaN ke chaske
"naazukii khatm hei un phool se rukhsaaraoN per"

sar ko sar kehte nahiN pair samajh lete heiN
mushtamil bazm hei kuch aise adaakaaraoN per

Baadah o jaam nahiN peene pilaane ke liye
Saaqiyaa qaHT hei kaisaa tire maikhwaaraoN per

hamnavaa koii nahiN MiSr meiN kyaa Yousuf kaa
kiyuN udaasi kaa tasalluT houaa baazaraoN per

DhoonDiye apne kisi dushman-e-dereenah ko
Kis liye ghaiz o ghaZab hie ye milansaaraoN per

Qatl ke jurm se bach jaayegaa qaatil kaise
Jab shaheedaoN kaa lahoo naachegaa talvaaraoN per

Naam levaa heiN mire madH-saraa ghairaoN ke
kiyuN nah aayegi hansi apne TarafdaaraoN per

karb-e-Nazir ke masaayib tumheN yaad aayenge
paa barahnah kabhi chalnaa jou paRe khaaraoN per
=======

Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

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Star Mind
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Post by Star Mind »

moHtarami A.Nazir SaaHib, aadaab

janaab aap ki ye Haseen-o-jameel Ghazal bohut pasand aayee ! bilaashuba aatish jiase ustaad shaai'roN k KhoobSoorat miSra'oN k saath aap jaise ustaad shaai`r hi inSaaf karsakte haiN ! girah bohut Khoob lagaayee hai aap ne ! sabhi ash'aar pasand aaaye KhaaS kar maqt^a' to jaan levaa hai ! daad qabool kejeye ! shukriya

moKhliS:

Zia Baloch
Dikhaadi shaan, phir ahl-e-chaman ko, Be-niyaazi ki

Khamoshi se jhatak kar, aaj phir, dast-e-sabaa maiN ne

Zia Baloch
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Abdullah Nazir
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shukriya

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


Azeezi
Zia Baloch Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

MaiN aapka beHad shukrguzaar hooN ke aap ne meri ghazal per tabSirah karne ke liye waqt nikaaalaa aur iski pazeeraayi bhi kii.

Ummeed hei ke aayindah bhii youNh hii Hauslah afzaayi farmaate rahenge taakeh khaaksaar ko mashq-e-sukhan jaari rakhne se raghbat baaqii rahe.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

Last edited by Abdullah Nazir on Fri Sep 09, 2005 1:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Mahtab Qadr
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waah waah

Post by Mahtab Qadr »

Abdullah bhai sahib
salaaam e masnoon
Aap ki taaza ghazal nazarnawaz huvi. magar urduscript ki mahroomi ka ehsaas bhi saath hi hota raha. ghazal ka har sher aik naye andaaz ka ehsaas dilaata hai. bahut pasand aai aapki ye ghazal .
shukria
niazmand
Mahtab Qadr
Sarwar A. Raz
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Post by Sarwar A. Raz »

muHtaramee Nazir SaaHeb: aadaab-o-niyaaz!

aap kee yeh Ghazal chand din qabl naz^ar se guZree th`ee. lekin buraa ho is maSroofiyat kaa keh likh`ne kee naubat aaj aayee hai. makaan badal rahaa hooN aur America kee saaree sahoolatoN ke baa-vujood yeh kaam joo-e-sheer laane se kam naheeN hai! ab :aaNkh`oN kee soo,iyaaN reh gayee haiN:! is ke ba'd dekh`iYe kyaa hotaa hai.

aap kee Ghazal aap ke puKhtah aur aazmoodah t^arz-e-kalaam kaa u'mdah namoonah hai. zameen mushkil th`ee lekin aap ne us ko Khoob hee nibh`aayaa hai. meree daad HaaZ^ir hai. bohat see a'laamaat aur isti,a'are aap ne naYe ista'maal kiYe haiN jin se nigaah-o-Zehn aashanaa naheeN haiN lekin jo bh`ale lagte haiN. micaal ke t^aur se :khaNDar meN tamannaaa kee titliyoN kaa naz^ar aanaa, talwaaroN par luhoo kaa naachnaa: Ghair-maanoos haiN. magar Ghazal meN kh`ap se gaYe haiN. she'r #4 waZ^aaHat t^alab naz^ar aayaa. KhaaS t^aur se :chaske: kaa jo ta,a'lluq ba-z^aahir :ph`ool se ruKhsaaroN: se hai woh mujh` ko khaTkaa. aap behtar jaante haiN.

aur raawee sab chain boltaa hai.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Last edited by Sarwar A. Raz on Wed Sep 07, 2005 4:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa

Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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Abdullah Nazir
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shukriyah

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtarami
Sarwar A. Raz. Sarwar Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

MaiN aapka behad shukrguzaar hooN ke aap ne apni be-intihaa maSroofiyat ke baavajood khaaksaar kii ghazal paRhi aur daad o teHseen se navaazaa.

YahaaN bhii b'az doust aHbaab ne bilkul mushaabih khayaalaat kaa izhaar kiyaa aur mujh se tashreeH Talab kii.

Ali Sardar JaAfari se kisi ne nahiN poochaa, ke unki nazm meiN:

"ungliyaaN jaag uTheeN
barbaT o Taa'oos ne angRaayi lii "
(in ibaarataoN ke isteAmaal kii kyaa daleel hei?}

Faiz Ahmed Faiz se kisi ne nahiN poochaa:

"door utraa kisi taale ke jigar meiN khanjar
door machli koii zanjeer machal ke rouyi"

Taale ke jigar meiN khanjar kaise utar saktaa hei aur zanjeer machal ke kaise rou sakti hei.

Hamaari mushkil yeh houti hei ke ham apne aapko taqleed kii zanjeeraoN meiN jakaRlenaa chaahte heiN.

MaiN ne in doustaoN se kahaa, ke maiN ne weerana-e-dil ko khandur kahaa, us khandur kii deevaraoN ko zehn meiN laayaa, un deevaaraoN per tamanna kii titliyaoN ko tasavvur meiN laayaa aur is maqsad o mafhoom kii vazaHut karne kii koushish kii ke (ab dil aek veeran jagh hei jismeiN koii tamanna nahiN hei.) MaiN ne in doastaoN se kahaa ke istiAare ke isteAmaal ke liye ye shaRT nahiN hei ke usi soorat meiN kisi aur ne isteAmaal kiyaa hou. Agar Abdulqaahir Jurjaani kii kitaab asraar-ulbalaaghah ke daayere hii meiN souchnaa paRtaa tou itni khoobsoorat shaayeri manzar-e-Aam per nahiN aati.

Lab per aanaa ke mani tou sab hii jaante heiN ke kisi baat kaa zirkr karnaa. Chaskaa bhii hindi kaa aek Aam lafZ hei, MaiN ne usko jamA ke seghe meiN isteAmaal kiyaa hei. Yani wo chaske jo un phool se rukhsaaraoN ko choomne kii yaad dilaate heiN.

Khoon kaa talvaaraoN per naachnaa koii muHaavirah yaa istiAarah nahiN hei balkeh mere zaati mushaahideh kii Aakkasi kartaa hei. Farq sirf itnaa hei ke mushaahidah aek gardan aur aek talwaar ke taAlluq se thaa aur maiN ne yahaaN jamA ke seghe meiN isteAmaal kiyaa hei.

Baharhaal aap ke tabSireh kee vajh se maiN in aHbaab ko javaab denaa bhii munaasib samjhaa taakeh agar unke zehn meiN koii aur baat hou tou wo mujhe samjhaasakeN.

Waise maiN hameshah hii souchtaa rehtaa hooN ke shayad meri urdu is qadar ghair faSeeH hei ke maiN apne mafhoom ko adaa karne meiN naakaam rehtaa hooN. Kahaa jaataa hei "fauqa kull-e-zee Ilmin Aaleem". yani her ilm rakhne waale se ziyaadah ilm rakhne waalaa maujood hei. Is liye maiN hameshah iAtiraaf kartaa hooN ke shayad mujh meiN hii koii naqS hou.

Dobaarah bahut shukriya.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

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Abdullah Nazir
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Post by Abdullah Nazir »


Janab
Mahtaab Qadr Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

MaiN apni ghazal kii pazeeraayi ke liye aapkaa beHad shukrguzaar hooN. Daad o teHseen se navaazkar aap ne meri Hauslah afzaayi farmaayi hei.
shukriyah.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

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Aapka tabsirah

Post by Abdullah Nazir »


MuHtaramah
Saara Saahibah,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aap ne mujh se kahaa ke maiN ne aapke tabSireH kaa javaab nahiN diyaa. Ab dekhtaa hooN tou yahaaN aapkaa koiee tabSirah nahiN hei. Shayad mujhe hii koii ghalaTfehmi houi hougi.

Baharhaal maiN aapka behad shukrguzaar hooN.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

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