shukria ek umda kalaam share karne ka. paRH kar bahot lutf aayaa. par yeh kalaam hai kiska? agar naam 'inaayat farmaayeNge to ai'n navaazish hogi. shukria.
Aapki paish kardah ghazal maiN ne is se pahle bhii kahiN dekhii hei lekin aap ne yahaaN shaayer kaa naam nahiN likhkhaa hei jisk vajah se samajh meiN nahiN aayaa ke aakhir yeh ghazal hei kiski.
Doosri baat yeh hei ke ismeiN baz ghalaTiyaaN heiN jo shayad typing mistakes kii vajah se heiN.
Woh Tere Naseeb Ki Baarishein Kisi Aur Chhat Pe Pe Baras Gayien
Dil-e-Bekhabbar Meri Baat Sun, Ussay Bhool Jaa, Ussay Bhool Jaa
Ooper ke sheAr meiN "peh" sirf aik baar hounaa chaahiye. Aur "tere" kii jagha "tire" hounaa chaahiye. Doosre misreA meiN "meri" ki bajaye "miri" hounaa chaahiye.
Mein Too Gum Thaa Tere Hi Dehyaan Mein, Teri Aass Tere Gumaan Mein
Saba Keh Gayi Mere Kaan Mein, Mere Paas Aa Ussay Bhool Jaa
Iske pahle misreA meiN "tiri aass" hounaa chaahiye.
Doosre misreA meiN lafz "saba" ki alif girrahi hei jo ghaaliban shayer kii ghalaTi hei. is ke ilaawaa "mire kaan" aur "mire paas hounaa chaahiye.
Kisi Ki Aankh Mein Nahien Ashq-e-Gham, Tere Baad Kuch Bhi Nahien Hai Kam
Tujhe Zindagi Ney Bhulaa Diya, Tu Bhi Muskuraa Ussay Bhool Jaa
MisraA 1. "tire ba'd" hounaa chaahiye.
Naa Woh Aankh Hi Teri Aankh Thi, Naa Woh Khuaab Hi Tera Khuaab Thaa
Dil-e-Muntazir Too Yeh Kis Liye Tera Jaagnaa, Ussay Bhool Jaa
MisraA No.1 meiN: a) "tiri Aankh" b) tira khuaab" hounaa chaahiye.
MisraA 2: "tiraa jaagnaa" hounaa chaachiye.
Yeh Joo Raat Din Ka Hai Khel Saa, Ussay Dekh Iss Pe Yakeen Naa Kar
Nahien Aks Koi Bhi Mustaqil Sar-e-Aaena, Ussay Bhool Jaa
Joo Bisaat-e-Jaan Hi Ulatt Gaya, Woh Joo Raastey Mein Palatt Gaya
Ussay Rookney Sey Husool Kya, Ussay Matt Bulaa Ussay Bhool Jaa
Baaqi ashAar theek heiN.
Mehrbaani farmaakar Shaayer kaa naam zaroor likhiye aur ummeed ke aap aayindah bhi asaatiza-e-kiraam kaa kalaam paish karte rahenge. Shukriyah.
