taraHi ghazal ...Guz #10

[hassan_bashir]

Assalam-o-alaikum,

Guz #10 pe ki gaee adnaa sii kavish pesh-e-khidmat hai apni raaYe se zaroor navaazeN.



1-
kuch log is tarah se jeevan guzaarte haiN
jaise ke jee ke jag pe ehsaaN utaarte haiN


2-
hairat se aaYeene bhee un ko nihaarte haiN
"tan tan ke jab woh apnaa seenah ubhaarte haiN"


3-
be-pardaa aaj nikale baazaar ki taraf kyuN
be-maut aap kitane logoN ko maarte haiN



4
kuch maaNg kar to dekho taare bhi toR laayeN
dil chiz kyaa hai hum to jaaN tum pe waarte haiN


5-
zinda nahiN haiN lekin mojood haiN divaane
viraanagi maiN akcar ab bhi pukaarte haiN



6-
mere khuda :Hassan: ko koi to yeh bataaYe
bigaRa huaa muqaddar kaise saNwaarte haiN



Talib-e-Dua'a

Hassan

[Shummu]

2-
hairat se aaYeene bhee un ko nihaarte haiN
"tan tan ke jab woh apnaa seenah ubhaarte haiN"


4
kuch maaNg kar to dekho taare bhi toR laauN
dil chiz kyaa hai hum to jaaN tum pe waarte haiN

6-
mere khuda :Hassan: ko koi to yeh bataaYe
bigaRa huaa muqaddar kaise saNwaarte haiN[/b]

wah bahut khoob ..hassan aap ki ye tarahi ghazal pe bahut pasand aayi...quoted ashaar zyaada pasand aaye..daad haazir hai..qubool karo

zor-e-qalam aur ziyaada,
Shumaila

[Abdullah Nazir]

Janab
Hassan Basheer Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye daad aur mubaarkbaad qubool farmaayiye.

(1-
kuch log is tarah se jeevan guzaarte haiN
jaise ke jee ke jag pe ehsaaN utaarte haiN )
Aapke is maTleA ke doosre miSreA meiN "jag pe ehsaaN utaarte haiN" ghair m'anoos ibaarat hei. Sadqa utaarna, kisi kaa qarZah utaarnaa, waghairah tou Aam Taur per mustamal heiN. (iHsaaN utaarnaa in maAnaoN meiN mumkin hei ke kisi ne mujh per iHsaaN kiyaa thaa tou maiN us ke iHsaan ke ivaZ kuch adaa karuN aur kahuN ke "maiN uskaa iHsaaN utaarrahaa hooN" yani uske iHsaan ke badle meiN kuch karrahaa hooN. Aapki ibaarat kii daleel Dhoondne meiN mujhe naakaami houie hei.

(2-
hairat se aaYeene bhee un ko nihaarte haiN
"tan tan ke jab woh apnaa seenah ubhaarte haiN" )
Aapki gireh ke miSreA meiN "nihaarte" kaa lafz shayad TibaaAat kii ghalaTi hei, is liye maiN us ko "nikhaarte" paRhrahaa hooN.

(3-
be-pardaa aaj nikale baazaar ki taraf woh
be-maut aap kitane logoN ko maarte haiN )
is sheAr meiN shutr gurbah hei kiyunkeh pahle miSreA meiN "wo" aur doosre miSreA meiN "aap" hei.
Iskaa ilaaj yeh hei ke pahle miSreA meiN "woh" kii bajaye "kiyuN" keh sakte heiN.

(4
kuch maaNg kar to dekho taare bhi toR laauN
dil chiz kyaa hai hum to jaaN tum pe waarte haiN )
Is sheAr meiN bhi shutr gurbah hei kiyunkeh pahle miSreA meiN "laauN" aur doosre meiN "hum".
Iskaa ilaaj yeh hei ke pahle miSreA meiN "laauN" kii bajaye "laaeN" keh sakte heiN.

(5-
zinda nahiN haiN lekin mojood haiN divaane
viraanagi maiN akcar ab bhi pukaarte haiN )
Go keh "zindah nahiN haiN" kii ibaarat vujood kii nafi karti hei lekin maAnavi Taur per agar yeh samjhaa jaaye ke unki Haalat doosre zindah aadamiyaoN kii sii nahiN hei, to aek Had tak baat samajh meiN aajaati hei. Achchaa sheAr hei.

(6-
mere khuda :Hassan: ko koi to yeh bataaYe
bigaRa huaa muqaddar kaise saNwaarte haiN)
Is maqTeA meiN shutr gurbah ka shubh tou hei lekin ibaarat ke lihaaz se shutr gurbah nahiN kahaa jaasaktaa. Bahut achcha maqTaA hei.

MajmooAi Taur per is kaamyaab TaraHi ghazal per meri daad o teHseen qubool farmaayiye.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

[hassan_bashir]

wah bahut khoob ..hassan aap ki ye tarahi ghazal pe bahut pasand aayi...quoted ashaar zyaada pasand aaye..daad haazir hai..qubool karo

zor-e-qalam aur ziyaada,
Shumaila

humesha ki tarah is dafaa bhi aap ka behad mamnoon hooN ki aap ne tashreef laa kar nachiz ki hoNslaa afzaaYee farmaaYee aur quoted ash'aar aap ko pasaNd aaYe bohat bohat shukriya.

aap ki yeh khubsurat daad qubul kee

Hassan

[hassan_bashir]

Janab
Hassan Bashir Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapki ghazal bahut pasand aayi jiske liye daad aur mubaarkbaad qubool farmaayiye.

bohat shukriya

(1-
kuch log is tarah se jeevan guzaarte haiN
jaise ke jee ke jag pe ehsaaN utaarte haiN )
Aapke is maTleA ke doosre miSreA meiN "jag pe ehsaaN utaarte haiN" ghair m'anoos ibaarat hei. Sadqa utaarna, kisi kaa qarZah utaarnaa, waghairah tou Aam Taur per mustamal heiN. (iHsaaN utaarnaa in maAnaoN meiN mumkin hei ke kisi ne mujh per iHsaaN kiyaa thaa tou maiN us ke iHsaan ke ivaZ kuch adaa karuN aur kahuN ke "maiN uskaa iHsaaN utaarrahaa hooN" yani uske iHsaan ke badle meiN kuch karrahaa hooN. Aapki ibaarat kii daleel Dhoondne meiN mujhe naakaami houie hei.


dar'asl isii tarah ka ek Gulzaar saaHib ka maine paRha taa aur shaayad usey dekh kar hee yeh surat maire zehan maiN aa'ee thee seh'r hai ...

din kuch aise guzaartaa hai koee
jaise ehsaaN utaartaa hai koee

kyaa in donoN she'roN ka maqsad ek saa nahiN hai?.. par chuNke aap ne farmaaYa hai to bajaa hee farmaaYaa hoga. albatta maiN isey durust karne ki koshish karuNga



(2-
hairat se aaYeene bhee un ko nihaarte haiN
"tan tan ke jab woh apnaa seenah ubhaarte haiN" )
Aapki gireh ke miSreA meiN "nihaarte" kaa lafz shayad TibaaAat kii ghalaTi hei, is liye maiN us ko "nikhaarte" paRhrahaa hooN.


muaafi chahuNga hazrat lekin kyaa 'nihaarte' ko nikhaarna paRhana saHeeH hoga kyuN hai ki hairat se aaYeene ka kisi ko nikhaarna yani baat kuch samajh nahiN aatee. waise yeh lafz 'nihaarte' Hindi ka hai aur mere khayaal se is ka maana yahi hai ki kisi ko dekhte rehnaa ya ghaur se dekhte jaana. ho saktaa hai yeh meri kam ilmee ho kyuN ki ka'ee lafaaz aam'taur par bolne maiN to chal jaate haiN par shaayri maiN unheN saHeeH nahiN samjhaa jaata


(3-
be-pardaa aaj nikale baazaar ki taraf woh
be-maut aap kitane logoN ko maarte haiN )
is sheAr meiN shutr gurbah hei kiyunkeh pahle miSreA meiN "wo" aur doosre miSreA meiN "aap" hei.
Iskaa ilaaj yeh hei ke pahle miSreA meiN "woh" kii bajaye "kiyuN" keh sakte heiN.

ufff...

leejiye pehle maine is she'r ki yahi surat taayaar ki thee phir jaane kyuN post karte waqt tabdeel kar dee

(4
kuch maaNg kar to dekho taare bhi toR laauN
dil chiz kyaa hai hum to jaaN tum pe waarte haiN )
Is sheAr meiN bhi shutr gurbah hei kiyunkeh pahle miSreA meiN "laauN" aur doosre meiN "hum".
Iskaa ilaaj yeh hei ke pahle miSreA meiN "laauN" kii bajaye "laaeN" keh sakte heiN.

jee bajaa farmaaYaa maiN isey dursut kiYe detaa hooN.


(5-
zinda nahiN haiN lekin mojood haiN divaane
viraanagi maiN akcar ab bhi pukaarte haiN )
Go keh "zindah nahiN haiN" kii ibaarat vujood kii nafi karti hei lekin maAnavi Taur per agar yeh samjhaa jaaye ke unki Haalat doosre zindah aadamiyaoN kii sii nahiN hei, to aek Had tak baat samajh meiN aajaati hei. Achchaa sheAr hei.

jee bilkul maire kehane ka jo maqsad hai is she'r maiN aap ne saHeeH pehchaana hai ..Shukriya !

(6-
mere khuda :Hassan: ko koi to yeh bataaYe
bigaRa huaa muqaddar kaise saNwaarte haiN)
Is maqTeA meiN shutr gurbah ka shubh tou hei lekin ibaarat ke lihaaz se shutr gurbah nahiN kahaa jaasaktaa. Bahut achcha maqTaA hei.

hmmm.... behad Shukriya

MajmooAi Taur per is kaamyaab TaraHi ghazal per meri daad o teHseen qubool farmaayiye.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

mohtaram Abdullah Nazir saaHab:

maiN aap ka behad mamnooN ko ke nachiz ke adnaa se kalaam ko aap ne apne noorani comments se naavaaza aur bharpur rehnumaaYe farmaaYee. aap ki tajveezoN se dilee ittafaaq karte hue maiN is kalaam maiN aur bhi nikhaar laane ki puri koshish karuNga.

aap ko meraa kalaam pasaNd aaYaa maiN samjhataa hooN ki meri mehnat qaamyaab huee aur behad khushi huee ke khaaksaar ko aap ne itanaa waqt diYaa is baat ke liYe maiN aap ka jitanaa shukriya adaa karuN kam hai.

ek baar phir se tah-e-dil se aap ka shukr-guzaar. bohat shukriya !

Dua'a-go

Hassan

[Abdullah Nazir]

Janab
Hassan Basheer Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapke javaab ke liye beHad shukrguzaar hooN aur aapke samjhne aur samjhaane ke andaaz se poori taraH se muttafiq hooN.

"iHsaaN utaarne" ke taAalluq se maiN ne likhkhaa ("iHsaan utaarnaa" in manaoN meiN mumkin hei ke kisi ne mujh per iHsaan kiyaa thaa tou maiN bhii uske iHsaan ke ivaZ kuch adaa karuN aur kahuN "maiN uskaa iHsaan utaarrahaa hooN".)

Aap ne Gulzar Saahib kaa jo sheAr pesh kiyaa hei uske mani bhii aise hii nikalte heiN yani ("iHsaaN utaartaa hei koi" = qarZah utaartaa hei koii")

Agar aap kaa miSraA bhii isi mani meiN houtaa tou us meiN lafz "pe" kii jagah "kaa" houtaa. Is Soorat meiN aapka miSraA yooN hounaa chaahiye thaa:
"jaise ke jee ke jag kaa iHsaaN utaarte heiN"

Aap ne Husn-e-maTlaA ke lafz "nihaarte" ke baare meiN ye farmaayaa hei ke Hindi kaa lafz hei. Housaktaa hei ke ke aapki baat bilkul SaHeeH hou. Mere paas taqreeban 6 lughaat heiN jin meiN Hasb-e-zeil shaamil heiN:
1- Standard Twentieth Century Dictionary
2- Feroz-ul-lughaat
3- Farhang-e-aaSafiyhah

lafz "nihaarnaa" yaa "nihaarte" in lughaat meiN se kisi lughat meiN bhii maujood nahiN hei.
Agar aap kisi lughat kaa Hawaalah deN tou maiN usko HaaSil karne kii koushish karungaa.
Shukriyah.


Aapka Mukhlis,
Nazir.

[hassan_bashir]

Janab
Hassan Basheer Saahib,

Purkhuloos Tasleemaat,

Aapke javaab ke liye beHad shukrguzaar hooN aur aapke samjhne aur samjhaane ke andaaz se poori taraH se muttafiq hooN.

Shukriya

"iHsaaN utaarne" ke taAalluq se maiN ne likhkhaa ("iHsaan utaarnaa" in manaoN meiN mumkin hei ke kisi ne mujh per iHsaan kiyaa thaa tou maiN bhii uske iHsaan ke ivaZ kuch adaa karuN aur kahuN "maiN uskaa iHsaan utaarrahaa hooN".)

jee hazrat shaayad maiN pehle aap ki baat puri tarah samajh nahiN paaYa tha lekin ab aap ke kehne ka maqsad mujh par saaf saaf wazeh ho gayaa hai.. behad mashkoor hooN

Aap ne Gulzar Saahib kaa jo sheAr pesh kiyaa hei uske mani bhii aise hii nikalte heiN yani ("iHsaaN utaartaa hei koi" = qarZah utaartaa hei koii")

Agar aap kaa miSraA bhii isi mani meiN houtaa tou us meiN lafz "pe" kii jagah "kaa" houtaa. Is Soorat meiN aapka miSraA yooN hounaa chaahiye thaa:
"jaise ke jee ke jag kaa iHsaaN utaarte heiN"


jee behtar maiN isey durust kiYe detaa hooN. ab shaaYad yeh saHeeH ho chuka hai


Aap ne Husn-e-maTlaA ke lafz "nihaarte" ke baare meiN ye farmaayaa hei ke Hindi kaa lafz hei. Housaktaa hei ke ke aapki baat bilkul SaHeeH hou. Mere paas taqreeban 6 lughaat heiN jin meiN Hasb-e-zeil shaamil heiN:
1- Standard Twentieth Century Dictionary
2- Feroz-ul-lughaat
3- Farhang-e-aaSafiyhah

lafz "nihaarnaa" yaa "nihaarte" in lughaat meiN se kisi lughat meiN bhii maujood nahiN hei.
Agar aap kisi lughat kaa Hawaalah deN tou maiN usko HaaSil karne kii koushish karungaa.
Shukriyah.

dar'asl mere paas aisii koee lughat wagaira to nahiN bas maine is alfaaz ko Hindi naghamoN aur kuch kitaaboN maiN zaroor paRha tha bas isii bina par maiN isey likh paaya hooN.

ba.har.hal chuNke yeh lafz aap ki nazar se nahiN guzaraa to Inshallah maiN jald hai is ki jagah koee aur qavaafi istemaal karne ki koshish karuNga

bohat mamnoon ki aap ne dobaara tashreef laakar nachiz ke ilm maiN izaafa farmaaYa bohat bohat shukirya !

Hassan

[hassan_bashir]

6-
mere khuda :Hassan: ko koi to yeh bataaYe
bigaRa huaa muqaddar kaise saNwaarte haiN

waah waah!

Hassan bashir saahib,

tasleemat.

aapki tarhee ghazal pasand aayi........

sabhi ashaar ache hain maqta tou janaab lajawaab hai.

daad qubool keejiye.

mukhlis

sara

Sara jee aadab arz hai :

reply maiN takheer ke liYe maazrat khwaah hooN.

behad mamoon hoon kii aap ne tashreef laa kar nachiz ko hoNslaa afzaaee farmaaYee aur maqtaa aap ka khususan pasaNd aaYa is ke liYe behad shukr-guzaar hooN. ummid hai aaindah bhi nachiz ko apnii qeematii raaYe se navaaztii raheNgi.

bohat shukriya !

Hassan