Meri ghazal aapki nazr......................................
Moderator: Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar
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jawaid badauni
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- Posts: 810
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
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Meri ghazal aapki nazr......................................
Dosto, Salam qubool kijiye
Bahut arce bAAd ek muKhtacar see ghazal aap ki nazr kar raha hooN.
Ummid hai apni aara se nawazeNge.
Mukhlis
Jawaid Badauni
Muscat - Oman
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Har gaam peh ik Taajmahal dekh raha hooN
MaiN aaj ke aaiine meN kal dekh raha hooN
MaiN apni wafaoN ka badal dekh raha hooN
Chhup chhup ke tira radde amal dekh raha hooN
Darta hooN keh khuwaaboN ka mahal TooT nah jaaye
Peshaani-e taqdeer peh bal dekh raha hooN
Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta huwaa jal dekh raha hooN
Yeh Khuwwaab meN doobi hoii mad`hosh see aaNkheN
Lagta hai keh jaise maiN kaNwal dekh raha hooN
:Jawaid: koii she’r kahiN rooTh nah jaaye!
Tanqeed ke sheeshe meN ghazal dekh raha hooN
Last edited by jawaid badauni on Thu Nov 10, 2005 5:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.
wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kya baat hai..bahut hi khoob......aap ki ye taaza tareen ghazal behad pasand aayi..har sher bahut khoobsurat hai....dheron daad haazir hai.... bas ek sher ka doosra misra behr se khaarij laga.... ye waala...Har gaam peh ik Taajmahal dekh raha hooN
MaiN aaj ke aaiine meN kal dekh raha haooN
MaiN apni wafaoN ka badal dekh raha hooN
Chhup chhup ke tira radde amal dekh raha hooN
Darta hooN keh khuwaaboN ka mahal TooT nah jaaye
Peshaani-e taqdeer peh bal dekh raha hooN
Yeh Khuwwaab meN doobi hoii mad`hosh see aaNkheN
Lagta hai keh jaise maiN kaNwal dekh raha hooN
:Jawaid: koii she’r kahiN rooTh nah jaaye!
Tanqeed ke sheeshe meN ghazal dekh raha hooN
sher bahut achcha hai magar paRhte waqt doosre misre pe zabaan atak rahi hai......dekh lijiyega.. :)Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta ho jal dekh raha hooN
bahut shukriya!!!!!
Shumaila
Koi pooche humse hamaari haalat ka sabab
to ashk baha kar bhi baat adhoori reh jati hai
Waqt jaise kahin thehar sa gaya hai
Na Gham jaata hai na khushi aati hai
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Sarwar A. Raz
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- Posts: 518
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- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
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mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb:aadaab!
kaafee dinoN ke ba'd aap se niyaaz HaaSil ho rahaa hai. Ghazal nazar-nawaaz huyee. yaad naheeN keh yeh zameen is se qabl kahaaN dekh`ee th`ee lekin aap kee kaawish bohat achh`ee hai. daad qubool keejiYe.
ek :typo: durust kar leejiYe:
Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta ho jal dekh raha hooN
:ho: kee bajaaYe :huwaa: honaa chaahiYe. waise jab saamne :jal beh rahaa hai: to aap ghuTnoN ke bal baiTh kar hee jh`uk kar pee lete!
is zameen meN mujh` ko :jal: kaa qaafiyah be-maHal lagaa. lekin yeh Zaatee pasand kee baat hai!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
kaafee dinoN ke ba'd aap se niyaaz HaaSil ho rahaa hai. Ghazal nazar-nawaaz huyee. yaad naheeN keh yeh zameen is se qabl kahaaN dekh`ee th`ee lekin aap kee kaawish bohat achh`ee hai. daad qubool keejiYe.
ek :typo: durust kar leejiYe:
Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta ho jal dekh raha hooN
:ho: kee bajaaYe :huwaa: honaa chaahiYe. waise jab saamne :jal beh rahaa hai: to aap ghuTnoN ke bal baiTh kar hee jh`uk kar pee lete!
is zameen meN mujh` ko :jal: kaa qaafiyah be-maHal lagaa. lekin yeh Zaatee pasand kee baat hai!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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jawaid badauni
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- Posts: 810
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
- Contact:
Sarwar Raz wrote:mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb:aadaab!
kaafee dinoN ke ba'd aap se niyaaz HaaSil ho rahaa hai. Ghazal nazar-nawaaz huyee. yaad naheeN keh yeh zameen is se qabl kahaaN dekh`ee th`ee lekin aap kee kaawish bohat achh`ee hai. daad qubool keejiYe.
ek :typo: durust kar leejiYe:
Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta ho jal dekh raha hooN
:ho: kee bajaaYe :huwaa: honaa chaahiYe. waise jab saamne :jal beh rahaa hai: to aap ghuTnoN ke bal baiTh kar hee jh`uk kar pee lete!
is zameen meN mujh` ko :jal: kaa qaafiyah be-maHal lagaa. lekin yeh Zaatee pasand kee baat hai!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Mohtarmee Sarwar Raz Sb., aadaab
Main Mahtab Qadr saHab ki Ghazal wali "thread" meN aap se arz
kar chuka hooN keh aap ke baGhair yeh mahafil veeran theeN
aur tamam ahle zauq membraan ko aapki kamee behud khaltee
thee. Mohtaram Abdullah Nazir Sahab bhi shuroo Ramadhan se
alaalat ke sabab nazar nahiN aate thay. Ab aap aa gaye haiN to
ummid hai jaldi jaldi tashreef layeNge aur iss tarah Ghairhaziree
ka izalah farmayeNge.
Ghazal ki pazeeraaii aur "typo" ke nishandihee ke liye behud
mamnoon hooN. Main ne "Edit" se ghaltee durust kar lee hai.
YahaN tishnalab insaan se jiske haath baNdhe haiN meri murad
kisee aise shaKhs se hai jise zindagee meN sub kuch haaSil hai
magar woh zindage se kuch nahiN le sakta, baqi aap mujh se
behtar samajhte haiN.
Mukhlis
Jawaid
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Sarwar A. Raz
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- Posts: 518
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:18 pm
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
- Contact:
mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb: aadaab!jawaid badauni wrote:Sarwar Raz wrote:mukarramee Jawaid SaaHeb:aadaab!
kaafee dinoN ke ba'd aap se niyaaz HaaSil ho rahaa hai. Ghazal nazar-nawaaz huyee. yaad naheeN keh yeh zameen is se qabl kahaaN dekh`ee th`ee lekin aap kee kaawish bohat achh`ee hai. daad qubool keejiYe.
ek :typo: durust kar leejiYe:
Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta ho jal dekh raha hooN
:ho: kee bajaaYe :huwaa: honaa chaahiYe. waise jab saamne :jal beh rahaa hai: to aap ghuTnoN ke bal baiTh kar hee jh`uk kar pee lete!
is zameen meN mujh` ko :jal: kaa qaafiyah be-maHal lagaa. lekin yeh Zaatee pasand kee baat hai!
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
Mohtarmee Sarwar Raz Sb., aadaab
Main Mahtab Qadr saHab ki Ghazal wali "thread" meN aap se arz
kar chuka hooN keh aap ke baGhair yeh mahafil veeran theeN
aur tamam ahle zauq membraan ko aapki kamee behud khaltee
thee. Mohtaram Abdullah Nazir Sahab bhi shuroo Ramadhan se
alaalat ke sabab nazar nahiN aate thay. Ab aap aa gaye haiN to
ummid hai jaldi jaldi tashreef layeNge aur iss tarah Ghairhaziree
ka izalah farmayeNge.
Ghazal ki pazeeraaii aur "typo" ke nishandihee ke liye behud
mamnoon hooN. Main ne "Edit" se ghaltee durust kar lee hai.
YahaN tishnalab insaan se jiske haath baNdhe haiN meri murad
kisee aise shaKhs se hai jise zindagee meN sub kuch haaSil hai
magar woh zindage se kuch nahiN le sakta, baqi aap mujh se
behtar samajhte haiN.
Mukhlis
Jawaid
yaad-aawaree kaa shukriyah. Nazir SaaHeb kee a'laalat kaa ma'loom ho kar fikr huyee. Allah un ko SeHat a't^aa farmaaYe.
bhaayee, maiN aap kee :tishnah-labee: samajh` gayaa th`aa aur isee liYe wahaaN
lagaa dee th`ee keh :sanad rahe aur ba-waqt-e-Z^aroorat kaam aawe!: Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"
yooN aur bohat a'ib haiN :Sarwar: meN wa-lekin
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
kambaKht muHabbat meN to yaktaa nazar aayaa
Sarwar A. Raz :Sarwar:
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jawaid badauni
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- Posts: 810
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
- Contact:
Shummu wrote:wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kya baat hai..bahut hi khoob......aap ki ye taaza tareen ghazal behad pasand aayi..har sher bahut khoobsurat hai....dheron daad haazir hai.... bas ek sher ka doosra misra behr se khaarij laga.... ye waala...Har gaam peh ik Taajmahal dekh raha hooN
MaiN aaj ke aaiine meN kal dekh raha haooN
MaiN apni wafaoN ka badal dekh raha hooN
Chhup chhup ke tira radde amal dekh raha hooN
Darta hooN keh khuwaaboN ka mahal TooT nah jaaye
Peshaani-e taqdeer peh bal dekh raha hooN
Yeh Khuwwaab meN doobi hoii mad`hosh see aaNkheN
Lagta hai keh jaise maiN kaNwal dekh raha hooN
:Jawaid: koii she’r kahiN rooTh nah jaaye!
Tanqeed ke sheeshe meN ghazal dekh raha hooN
sher bahut achcha hai magar paRhte waqt doosre misre pe zabaan atak rahi hai......dekh lijiyega.. :)Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta ho jal dekh raha hooN
bahut shukriya!!!!!
Shumaila
Azeezi Shammu SaHibah, doa
MaiN pahle bhi arz kar chuka hooN mere liye aap ko Shummu kah kar pukarna ziyadah aasan hai.
Ghazal ki pazeeraai aur typing error ki nishandihi donoN ka shukriya. Yeh lafz "huwaa" hai jise main jaldi meN ho type kar gaya tha. Ab misAra bewazn nahiN raha?
Khoosh raheN
Jawaid Badauni
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Mahtab Qadr
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- Posts: 559
- Joined: Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:36 am
- Location: Jeddah Saudi Arabia
- Contact:
Re: Meri ghazal aapki nazr..................................
Janab Jawaid sahib
Aadaab o tasleem
Bahut khoob bahut pyari ghazal se nawaza hai aapne tamam sher pasand aaye .
Har gaam peh ik Taajmahal dekh raha hooN
MaiN aaj ke aaiine meN kal dekh raha hooN
hmm huzoor gustaakhi ki muazirat ke saath , meri naqis aql mai ye baat nahi aai ke aap kia dekh rahe hai , aaya aap har jaga aik mohabbat ki alamat tameer hoti dekh rahe haiN ya phir mahbaaboN ki rukhsati (final) ka manzar dekh rahe haiN , kioN ke TAJ MAHAL baharhal aik mohabbat ki alamat bhi hai aur aik mahbooba ka mazaar bhi.
MaiN apni wafaoN ka badal dekh raha hooN
Chhup chhup ke tira radde amal dekh raha hooN
wah khooob chup chup ke dekhna bahut lutf de raha hai
Darta hooN keh khuwaaboN ka mahal TooT nah jaaye
Peshaani-e taqdeer peh bal dekh raha hooN
bahut khoob
Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta huwaa jal dekh raha hooN
qafia hindi ka sahi magar zaroorat e sheri ke taur par qabil e qubool bhi hai balke urdu ki wasee damani ka ehsaas bhi dilaata hai
Yeh Khuwwaab meN doobi hoii mad`hosh see aaNkheN
Lagta hai keh jaise maiN kaNwal dekh raha hooN
waah waah ghazal ka bahut khoobsurat sher irshaad farmaaya aap ne bahut khoob janaab
:Jawaid: koii she’r kahiN rooTh nah jaaye!
Tanqeed ke sheeshe meN ghazal dekh raha hooN
wah maqta to lajawab hai aur aapne tanqeed ke sheesha ka zikr kar ke naqqadoN ki zaban band kardi hai:)
shurkai
Mahtab Qadr
Aadaab o tasleem
Bahut khoob bahut pyari ghazal se nawaza hai aapne tamam sher pasand aaye .
Har gaam peh ik Taajmahal dekh raha hooN
MaiN aaj ke aaiine meN kal dekh raha hooN
hmm huzoor gustaakhi ki muazirat ke saath , meri naqis aql mai ye baat nahi aai ke aap kia dekh rahe hai , aaya aap har jaga aik mohabbat ki alamat tameer hoti dekh rahe haiN ya phir mahbaaboN ki rukhsati (final) ka manzar dekh rahe haiN , kioN ke TAJ MAHAL baharhal aik mohabbat ki alamat bhi hai aur aik mahbooba ka mazaar bhi.
MaiN apni wafaoN ka badal dekh raha hooN
Chhup chhup ke tira radde amal dekh raha hooN
wah khooob chup chup ke dekhna bahut lutf de raha hai
Darta hooN keh khuwaaboN ka mahal TooT nah jaaye
Peshaani-e taqdeer peh bal dekh raha hooN
bahut khoob
Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta huwaa jal dekh raha hooN
qafia hindi ka sahi magar zaroorat e sheri ke taur par qabil e qubool bhi hai balke urdu ki wasee damani ka ehsaas bhi dilaata hai
Yeh Khuwwaab meN doobi hoii mad`hosh see aaNkheN
Lagta hai keh jaise maiN kaNwal dekh raha hooN
waah waah ghazal ka bahut khoobsurat sher irshaad farmaaya aap ne bahut khoob janaab
:Jawaid: koii she’r kahiN rooTh nah jaaye!
Tanqeed ke sheeshe meN ghazal dekh raha hooN
wah maqta to lajawab hai aur aapne tanqeed ke sheesha ka zikr kar ke naqqadoN ki zaban band kardi hai:)
shurkai
Mahtab Qadr
jawaid badauni wrote:
Dosto, Salam qubool kijiye
Bahut arce bAAd ek muKhtacar see ghazal aap ki nazr kar raha hooN.
Ummid hai apni aara se nawazeNge.
Mukhlis
Jawaid Badauni
Muscat - Oman
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Har gaam peh ik Taajmahal dekh raha hooN
MaiN aaj ke aaiine meN kal dekh raha hooN
MaiN apni wafaoN ka badal dekh raha hooN
Chhup chhup ke tira radde amal dekh raha hooN
Darta hooN keh khuwaaboN ka mahal TooT nah jaaye
Peshaani-e taqdeer peh bal dekh raha hooN
Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta huwaa jal dekh raha hooN
Yeh Khuwwaab meN doobi hoii mad`hosh see aaNkheN
Lagta hai keh jaise maiN kaNwal dekh raha hooN
:Jawaid: koii she’r kahiN rooTh nah jaaye!
Tanqeed ke sheeshe meN ghazal dekh raha hooN
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jawaid badauni
- -
- Posts: 810
- Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:38 am
- Contact:
Re: Meri ghazal aapki nazr..................................
Janab Jawaid sahib
Aadaab o tasleem
Bahut khoob bahut pyari ghazal se nawaza hai aapne tamam sher pasand aaye .
Har gaam peh ik Taajmahal dekh raha hooN
MaiN aaj ke aaiine meN kal dekh raha hooN
hmm huzoor gustaakhi ki muazirat ke saath , meri naqis aql mai ye baat nahi aai ke aap kia dekh rahe hai , aaya aap har jaga aik mohabbat ki alamat tameer hoti dekh rahe haiN ya phir mahbaaboN ki rukhsati (final) ka manzar dekh rahe haiN , kioN ke TAJ MAHAL baharhal aik mohabbat ki alamat bhi hai aur aik mahbooba ka mazaar bhi.
MaiN apni wafaoN ka badal dekh raha hooN
Chhup chhup ke tira radde amal dekh raha hooN
wah khooob chup chup ke dekhna bahut lutf de raha hai
Darta hooN keh khuwaaboN ka mahal TooT nah jaaye
Peshaani-e taqdeer peh bal dekh raha hooN
bahut khoob
Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta huwaa jal dekh raha hooN
qafia hindi ka sahi magar zaroorat e sheri ke taur par qabil e qubool bhi hai balke urdu ki wasee damani ka ehsaas bhi dilaata hai
Yeh Khuwwaab meN doobi hoii mad`hosh see aaNkheN
Lagta hai keh jaise maiN kaNwal dekh raha hooN
waah waah ghazal ka bahut khoobsurat sher irshaad farmaaya aap ne bahut khoob janaab
:Jawaid: koii she’r kahiN rooTh nah jaaye!
Tanqeed ke sheeshe meN ghazal dekh raha hooN
wah maqta to lajawab hai aur aapne tanqeed ke sheesha ka zikr kar ke naqqadoN ki zaban band kardi hai:)
shurkai
Mahtab Qadr
Azeezi Mahtab Qadr Sb.,
Aadaab
Aap ne ghazal ke taqreeban tamam ashAAr ko pasaNd farmaya hai jo mere liye baa`iS-e masarrat hai. Himmat afzaaii ke liye mamnoon hooN.
MatAley per aapka tabsara bahut dilchasp hai. Yahan Taajmahal ko maiN ne mohabbat ki alamat ke taur per nahiN liya hai. YahaN Taaj se meri muraad ek behud haseen aur nayab cheez se hai jo pure mulk ke liye ek maa1yae naaz Khazanah hai. Ummid hai ab mera Khiyaal aap per wazeh hoga.
Maqtay ke zaman meN yeh arz karna hai keh yahaN kisee aur naqqad per tanz mera maqSad nahiN balkeh maiN khood jo apni ghazal per tanqeedi nazar-e Caani karta hooN mujhe dar hai mera yeh amr mere kisee nazuk sher ka dil na toR dey.
Ek baar phir aapka bahut bahut shukriya.
Mukhlis,
Jawaid
Aadaab o tasleem
Bahut khoob bahut pyari ghazal se nawaza hai aapne tamam sher pasand aaye .
Har gaam peh ik Taajmahal dekh raha hooN
MaiN aaj ke aaiine meN kal dekh raha hooN
hmm huzoor gustaakhi ki muazirat ke saath , meri naqis aql mai ye baat nahi aai ke aap kia dekh rahe hai , aaya aap har jaga aik mohabbat ki alamat tameer hoti dekh rahe haiN ya phir mahbaaboN ki rukhsati (final) ka manzar dekh rahe haiN , kioN ke TAJ MAHAL baharhal aik mohabbat ki alamat bhi hai aur aik mahbooba ka mazaar bhi.
MaiN apni wafaoN ka badal dekh raha hooN
Chhup chhup ke tira radde amal dekh raha hooN
wah khooob chup chup ke dekhna bahut lutf de raha hai
Darta hooN keh khuwaaboN ka mahal TooT nah jaaye
Peshaani-e taqdeer peh bal dekh raha hooN
bahut khoob
Pyasa to azal se hooN magar haath baNdhe haiN
Aur samne bahta huwaa jal dekh raha hooN
qafia hindi ka sahi magar zaroorat e sheri ke taur par qabil e qubool bhi hai balke urdu ki wasee damani ka ehsaas bhi dilaata hai
Yeh Khuwwaab meN doobi hoii mad`hosh see aaNkheN
Lagta hai keh jaise maiN kaNwal dekh raha hooN
waah waah ghazal ka bahut khoobsurat sher irshaad farmaaya aap ne bahut khoob janaab
:Jawaid: koii she’r kahiN rooTh nah jaaye!
Tanqeed ke sheeshe meN ghazal dekh raha hooN
wah maqta to lajawab hai aur aapne tanqeed ke sheesha ka zikr kar ke naqqadoN ki zaban band kardi hai:)
shurkai
Mahtab Qadr
Azeezi Mahtab Qadr Sb.,
Aadaab
Aap ne ghazal ke taqreeban tamam ashAAr ko pasaNd farmaya hai jo mere liye baa`iS-e masarrat hai. Himmat afzaaii ke liye mamnoon hooN.
MatAley per aapka tabsara bahut dilchasp hai. Yahan Taajmahal ko maiN ne mohabbat ki alamat ke taur per nahiN liya hai. YahaN Taaj se meri muraad ek behud haseen aur nayab cheez se hai jo pure mulk ke liye ek maa1yae naaz Khazanah hai. Ummid hai ab mera Khiyaal aap per wazeh hoga.
Maqtay ke zaman meN yeh arz karna hai keh yahaN kisee aur naqqad per tanz mera maqSad nahiN balkeh maiN khood jo apni ghazal per tanqeedi nazar-e Caani karta hooN mujhe dar hai mera yeh amr mere kisee nazuk sher ka dil na toR dey.
Ek baar phir aapka bahut bahut shukriya.
Mukhlis,
Jawaid